The Rowdy Coyote Rumble (Jackrabbit Junction Humorous Mystery Book 4)

by Ann Charles

  “That’s the one.”

  “I don’t … you mean you …” she turned back to him. “Did I buy a Jeep while I was heavily sedated?”

  “No, I bought you a Jeep while you were heavily sedated.”

  “Why would you do that when we’re going to be traveling so much with your job?”

  “We’re not going to be traveling so much after all.”

  “I don’t und … dammit, Mac, would you quit messing with me while I’m still flying high on pain meds and tell me what in the hell is going on.”

  He crossed one leg over the other, resting his ankle on his knee, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. “I didn’t take the promotion.”

  “What?!”

  “You heard me, Slugger.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I realized something. After all of the years I spent busting my ass to get that job, there was something I wanted more.”

  “A Jeep?”

  “You.”

  “But you already have me.”

  “Taking that job meant possibly losing you.”

  “Says who?” Besides Chester, the bristle-topped oracle.

  “Come on, Claire. I’m no fool. You said you were willing to travel with me, but we both know it wasn’t your dream.”

  “But it was yours.”

  “I have other dreams, too. It turned out that particular one wasn’t as tempting as it used to seem.”

  “But I don’t want you to sacrifice your dream for me.”

  “That’s enough ‘buts’ from you for tonight.” He leaned over and kissed her temple. “I love you, Claire. Happy Jeep Day.”

  “Mac, take the job, please.”

  “We both know you would’ve been miserable leaving your family for weeks at a time.”

  “You’re wrong. It turns out that I don’t really like them that much.”

  He laughed. “Liar.”

  Staring out at the Jeep, she chewed on her lower lip. “I don’t know how soon I can repay you for this.” Cash wasn’t exactly flooding into her pockets these days.

  He grabbed her hand and placed it on his thigh. “There’s no repayment necessary. I bought it for you as a gift.”

  “That’s an expensive gift.”

  “You need a vehicle.”

  “Why? I can always borrow Ruby’s truck or Gramps’s car.”

  “Because you’re going to be driving back and forth to Tucson to visit me more often.”

  “I am?”

  “I hope so, anyway.” He spread his hand over hers where it still rested on his thigh. “You see, instead of taking the promotion, I arranged to work four ten-hour shifts from now on and secured Fridays off. That way I can come here for three days each week instead of two.” When she continued to frown at him, he squeezed her hand. “And I was thinking that if you have your own wheels, maybe you could spend a night or two with me in Tucson during the week now and then.”

  A compromise. She stared down at the key, her eyes watering at his thoughtfulness. “Damn you, MacDonald Garner,” she whispered, blinking back tears. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

  “Does that mean you’ll keep my present?”

  She leaned into him. “Come closer,” she smiled up at him, hearts undoubtedly floating around her head. “Let me thank you properly.”

  Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her instead. “You’re welcome, Slugger,” he said, after making her feel even rummier on top of her slight drug haze.

  “You didn’t go up into the Humdigger mine without me while I was drugged up, did you?”

  “Nope. Whatever—or whoever—is up there can wait until the Sheriff has time to check it out with us.”

  “Good.” She looked out into the darkness that had fallen over the desert. “You think Sophy is right about Joe still being alive?”

  “How could that be possible?”

  “I don’t know.” She shivered at the idea of it, though.

  “Sophy has some wires loose. She’s searching for villains where there are only ghosts now.”

  Mac was right. Nobody in their right mind committed the crimes she had before they finally put her away. Greed had lured her to the cliff edge and then shoved her over into the abyss.

  “You want to go for a ride in the Jeep?” Mac asked, sounding excited to show off the new toy he’d bought for her. “I’ll drive.”

  “Yes! Please get me out of here before Mom finds me and makes me drink more of that special herbal tea of hers that tastes like moldy hay and smells like Henry’s breath after he’s licked his butt.”

  Chuckling, Mac helped her up and into the Jeep, showing her the bells and whistles as they drove toward Jackrabbit Junction. He pulled into The Shaft’s parking lot and cut the engine.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  “I think that you spent a lot of money on this present and I am forever in your debt.”

  “I told you it’s a gift. There is no debt.” When she started to balk, he interrupted, “Claire, it’s no secret that I’m crazy about you. I want to take care of you, but you make it damned near impossible with your hardheadedness. Let me do this for you. Please.”

  “Okay.”

  He leaned over and kissed her, distracting her from her residual aches and pains.

  When he sat back, she shook her finger at him. “But don’t think for a minute, buddy boy, that this means I’m going to sleep with you just because you buy me expensive gifts.”

  His grin softened his face in the glow of the dashlights, making him look even more heartbreaking than usual. “Of course not, Miss Morgan. We’ll keep that virginity of yours intact until marriage.”

  He stepped out and came around to help her down.

  “Mac,” she said as her feet hit the ground.

  “Yeah?”

  “I changed my mind.”

  “About what?” He shut the door and took her hand, leading her toward The Shaft.

  “I’ll sleep with you tonight.”

  “That’s a good little sex kitten.” He pulled open the front door, holding it for her.

  “Because it’s you or Nurse Mom in my bed, and you kick less and smell better.” She laughed as he chased her inside.

  “No drinking alcohol tonight, Slugger.” He followed her to the bar. “Doctor’s orders.”

  She had no desire to add beer to the heavy duty drugs she was taking, but joked, “Why are we here then?”

  “You wanted to escape your mother, remember?”

  “Oh yeah.” She sat down on a barstool. Mac took the one next to her.

  Butch was filling glasses with beer from the tap on the other side of the bar. “How are the new wheels?” he asked, setting a tray with four foaming mugs on the counter.

  Claire looked at Mac. “He knows about the Jeep?”

  “I bought it from a friend of his.”

  Of course. Butch knew just about everybody in town, and those he didn’t, Grady undoubtedly did.

  “I love it,” she squeezed Mac’s leg under the bar. “And there’s plenty of room in the back for my brand new niece.”

  One of Butch’s eyebrows raised. “You mean nephew.”

  “Oh no, it will be a niece. Another wild Morgan girl to make your life even more hair-raising.”

  Butch laughed. “There’s not enough room in this town for four of you.”

  “The Sheriff will need to build a bigger jail,” Mac said before sipping on the mug of beer Butch slid his way.

  She slapped his leg at the same time Kate dropped onto the barstool next to Claire.

  “Damn, my feet are killing me.”

  Butch frowned. “Maybe you should take a break, go rest on the couch in my office for a bit. I can pour and deliver drinks.”

  “No way. Your couch gets me into trouble whenever I lie on it.” She winked at his smoldering gaze. “It’s partly to blame for my being knocked up with your kid.”

  Oh, Lord. Claire grimaced, thinking of the times she
’d sat on those cushions. “Dang it. Did you two have to do it there? I liked that couch, too.”

  “You’re one to talk,” Kate said. “You and your tool-belt loverboy there have ruined Gramps’s car for me.”

  Claire tapped her index finger on the bar. “But we’ve never had sex in there.”

  “Whatever.” Kate turned Claire’s chin her way, staring into her eyes. “How are you feeling today? Should you be out of bed already?”

  Claire pulled back. “I’m fine. What’s with this mothering thing you’re doing lately?” Kate had come into the spare room several times this morning checking on her, threatening to call the doctor if she didn’t follow his orders to a T. “Are you practicing mommy-hood or something?”

  Kate shrugged, sitting back. “Maybe I’m nest building.”

  “One wanna-be-nurse in this family is plenty.” Her mother needed to return to her glass of cognac as far as Claire was concerned. “I prefer Crazy Kate to mommy dearest.”

  “Fine but don’t cry the next time you end up in jail with me, then.”

  “No more jail,” Butch said, setting down the glass of water Mac had requested for Claire. “Both of you need to try harder to stay out of it.”

  “Who’s going to jail?” Ronnie asked, setting an empty tray on the bar. “Two pitchers of pale ale for table seven,” she told Butch.

  “Kate’s threatening to drag me to jail with her again,” Claire told her. “You think the Sheriff will give me a couple of get-out-of-jail-free cards?”

  “Maybe he could start a loyalty card promotion,” Kate said. “You know, a punch card. After the tenth punch you get something special.”

  Ronnie’s smile seemed extra wide suddenly. “I’ll have to ask him when I see him later tonight.” She tittered and then giggled.

  What the hell? Ronnie wasn’t one to giggle, let alone titter. Claire narrowed her eyes. “Have you seen the Sheriff lately?” she asked Ronnie.

  Her sister’s cheeks darkened. “Uh, yeah. He sort of stopped by Gramps’s Winnebago earlier to fill me in on Arlene and the Polar Bear.”

  “So that’s why you tittered.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Claire looked at Kate. “Good news! Ronnie had sex with the Sheriff again. With luck, she’ll marry the poor guy and our jail cell blues will be no more.”

  “Nobody is getting married,” Ronnie said, sobering.

  Claire heard a tinge of bitterness in her sister’s tone. She searched Ronnie’s face, seeing traces of sadness and something else dark there. Instead of poking at the sore spot, she changed the subject. “What did he say about Arlene and the Polar Bear?”

  Ronnie filled Claire, Kate, and Mac in, with Butch joining them at the end.

  Kate raised both hands in a cheer, hitting Claire with a wide, gloating smile. “I told you that guy was trouble from the start, but you thought I was nuts.”

  “You are nuts.”

  “Yeah, but I was right this time.”

  Claire rolled her eyes. “Mac, call Mt. Rushmore and have them hire another sculptor. I have a feeling we’re going to need a big-ass monument to memorialize this moment in order to shut Kate up.”

  He chuckled until Kate reached around Claire and pinched him on the back.

  “So,” Claire said, “it sounds like the Sheriff doesn’t think our troubles are over yet.”

  “Far from it.” That dark ripple passed over Ronnie’s face again. “But he’s confident Arlene and the Polar Bear won’t be bugging us again. The FBI has been looking for them for a while, and now that they have them with fresh evidence of attempted kidnapping and possibly worse on their hands, they’ll both go away until they are too old to do more than whack you with a cane.”

  “Grady’s aunt and her Geritol gang have done that plenty enough to Claire and me,” Kate groused.

  “Oh, that reminds me of something else I meant to tell you,” Ronnie said, but then hesitated.

  Claire crossed her arms over her chest. “Now what have you done?”

  “Well, I sort of invited Grady’s aunt to Thanksgiving dinner.”

  “You did what?” Kate asked, her forehead turning bright red. “After she threatened my life in the library bathroom?”

  “She was just playing around,” Ronnie said, her laugh fake. “Besides, Grady will be there to keep her under control.”

  “Ronnie!” Claire glared at her. “You invited the Sheriff of Cholla County to break bread with us? You know all of the shit we have hidden in Ruby’s house. What if he says he’s going to go to the bathroom and sneaks a peek in the basement office?”

  “I’ll keep an eye on him. Besides—”

  “What else do you have hidden?” Mac asked, interrupting Ronnie, giving Claire his squinty-eyed Eastwood glare.

  “I don’t know. Lots of stuff,” Claire whispered out of the side of her mouth. “Don’t get me wrong,” she told Ronnie, “I think the Sheriff can be a nice guy when he’s not threatening me with jail time, but he’s the last person we need sniffing around Joe’s old stomping grounds.”

  Butch set a glass of water in front of Kate, indicating for her to drink up. “You’re not having Thanksgiving at Ruby’s place.”

  “We’re not?” Kate asked, lifting her glass.

  “No,” he leaned his elbows on the bar. “We’re having it here, right, Ronnie?”

  She nodded. “We’ll be in neutral territory, so you don’t need to worry about Grady finding out our family secrets.” When Kate started to object about the Sheriff’s aunt, Ronnie cut her off. “I told you, Grady will be there to keep Aunt Millie in line.” She picked up the tray with the pitcher of beer Butch had poured. “I can guarantee you two piss-pots that it’s going to be an uneventful dinner with the worst crime being a dry turkey if Mom’s in charge of cooking again this year.”

  Claire would believe that when the day came and went without a snag. She watched Ronnie carry the drinks over near the pool tables, her gut telling her something was wrong with this picture. Her sister was acting like things were fine and dandy, but there was something she wasn’t telling them. Claire wasn’t sure if it had to do with Grady or something else. Or someone else. Someone who was shadowing Ronnie’s world. She’d have to ask her later when they were alone and these damned meds weren’t scrambling her brain.

  “Was it just me,” Butch said, coming around the bar to grab the other tray he’d loaded up with four glasses of beer, “or did Ronnie’s prediction sound more ominous than heartening?”

  “What are you doing?” Kate asked, reaching for the tray.

  Butch knocked her hand away. “Switching places with you.” He leaned down and kissed her hard and fast on the lips. “Scoot on behind the bar and get to pouring.”

  “But I get better tips out on the floor,” Kate said. “Especially in this T-shirt.”

  “I noticed that.” Butch ogled the cotton stretching across her chest for a second before grinning up at her. “Did I tell you I’ve decided to institute a new dress code for my female wait staff—matching burlap sack shirts and pants?”

  “Burlap itches,” Kate said.

  “I’ll scratch wherever you itch, Baby Momma.” He gave her a wink and headed off to deliver the drinks.

  “Men are so bossy,” Kate said, smacking Mac on the shoulder as she passed by him.

  He shot Claire a frown. “What did I do?”

  “Grew testicles while you were in the womb.”

  “Your sisters have issues.”

  “I know.” She slid off her stool, turning him to face her and then looping her arms around his neck. “You’ll get used to living with them.” She smiled. “They’re like herpes that way.”

  His arms wrapped around her hips, gently pulling her between his legs. “You ready to go home?”

  “Sure, if you promise to nail the bedroom door closed so Mom can’t come in and rub any more of her herbal creams on me when I’m sleeping.” The last one had made her dream she was a cow eating g
rass in a cow pie littered paddock.

  His eyes were level with hers, so were his lips. “I’ll grab some two-by-fours and nails on our way to bed.” He kissed her. “And your tool belt.” His eyes sparkled.

  “You’re going to have to wear it then, because I’m injured, remember?”

  “We’ll improvise.” He stood, leading her toward the door. “I may not be as crafty as you, but I’ve been told I’m pretty good with my hands.”

  She laughed, following him out into the night. “You’re very good with your hands, but let’s not discount your talent with your other parts.”

  “Oh, yeah?” He opened the passenger side of her new Jeep, helping her up and in. “What other parts are those?”

  She waited for him to come around and join her inside the cab. “Well, your tongue is damned amazing.”

  Shifting into gear he pulled out of the lot. “What else?”

  “Your lips are pretty nice.”

  “Just ‘pretty nice,’ huh?” He glanced across at her. “I’ll have to work on improving their rating.”

  “You can certainly try.”

  Later that night, after they’d managed to escape the rest of the household, Claire lay next to him on the sheets, sweat-covered, her body still humming from his touch. She smiled at the ceiling like a lovesick fool. “I changed my mind, Mac.”

  “About what?” he asked, his breath tickling her earlobe.

  “Your lips.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. They’re freaking incredible.”

  She felt his chuckle in his chest, which was pressed against her arm. “That’s more like it.”

  She lay there in silence for a bit, listening to the sounds of the old house settling down for another cold desert night.

  “Mac.” She wrapped his arm around her bare stomach. “Thank you for the Jeep.”

  “You’re welcome.” He nuzzled the hair at the base of her neck. “You have to promise me something though, Slugger.”

  “Anything.”

  “You won’t use it to go out to Humdigger mine and sniff around when I’m gone—or any of Ruby’s other mines for that matter.”

  “Uh, sure, okay.” She turned her head and kissed him, enjoying his lips some more.