Find Me: Faeries Lost

by Grace Brannigan

  ***

  Drew studied Irfin's bright eyes, the smirk, knowing it would be a waste of time to be irritated with the man. This was Irfin's world.

  So he said, "Just how protected is she if the elder tries to gain access to this place?"

  "Each time it will drain the energy a little more. However, anyone trying to see into this dimension must be on the same aura frequency as Pandimora to make the connection. That might take a little more work and mental decoding. The elder has many powers, but even he must work to see into something so intricate as this dimension."

  "You seem pretty knowledgeable about such a circumstance. Does that mean Pandimora isn't the first one to be in danger from this elder?"

  "Danger to a faerie doesn't have the same meaning as it would to a human. A handful of others relocated outside Aisywel, so we are always prepared for any eventuality. This place was created so those of the fae living in the earth dimension could come here and rejuvenate."

  "Like a ... spa?" Drew asked.

  Irfin narrowed his eyes. "No. There are no return visits. Faeries are only allowed one visit to rejuvenate. They may come again, but there are never the same results on return visits."

  "What about humans? Are they allowed here?"

  Irfin turned away. "At times, but the healing outcome is even less predictable for humans."

  "And I'm guessing this sanctuary is operated in secrecy?"

  Irfin looked over his shoulder. "That would be one way of looking at it. We saw the need for this sanctuary and it was created long ago, thousands of years in your time. I have simply upgraded it to reflect the changing times." Irfin put his hand out to indicate the glowing world around them. "We are constantly experimenting with the sanctuary. What if we could offer humans the same immortality our race enjoys, if the humans were interested?"

  Drew thought Irfin's eyes had a strange, almost feverish glitter. "So that's where you're going?" he said thoughtfully. "Immortality for a select few humans?"

  Irfin whipped his head around to glare at him. "I didn't say that."

  "I think you did."

  "You may draw whatever conclusions you like," Irfin said, bushy brows drawn together.

  "Is this sanctuary in some part of Aisywel?"

  "No," Pandimora said. "It's a higher dimension since it is a sanctuary. This realm hovers slightly above Aisywel and a little to the side. Elders can penetrate most barriers and worlds; however, there are certain energies which can temporarily block their perception."

  "True," added Irfin. "The mechanics of this shield were conceived in the faerie realm but actually created on earth. This intermixing of both worlds has thus far created an impenetrable shield."

  "How would a human find their way here?" Drew asked.

  Irfin pulled a yo-yo from his pocket and fiddled with it. "Anyone seeking asylum is welcomed. Mystics and earth healers or those who have become enlightened while incarnating on the earth plane are aware of this place. However, as I mentioned earlier, humans can only gain entrance through one of the fae." His gaze was piercingly on Drew. "Or if you jump a portal while a faerie is transporting."

  "I tried to return to Aisywel," Pandimora blurted.

  Irfin nodded, his eyes sad. "Was the ground as if turned to vapor?"

  "Yes. I was almost pulled into the empty space between dimensions."

  "The high elder's duty is to keep the worlds safe and he will do that at any cost," Irfin said grimly. "Right now you are perceived as a threat."

  Frustrated, Pandimora said, "If the faerie is found unharmed, then I saw everything wrong." She looked troubled. Drew saw her fingers clench and wondered if she really believed she had been wrong.

  Thoughtfully, Irfin said, "The brain has incredible resilience, even more so since the fae utilize twice as much brain matter as a human. I have to wonder about when the elder tried to make you forget what you saw in the garden -- it clearly didn't work. Could it be because you were mind washed as a child? Perhaps a faerie cannot be mind washed twice? It is a question that has intrigued me for years."

  "What if half the faeries in Aisywel are walking around with pieces of their reality wiped away?" Drew said.

  "An exaggeration," Irfin declared.

  Drew lifted a brow. "But how would you know? And what if a faerie is banished forever and can't return? Has that happened to others?" Drew felt a bit ridiculous asking such a thing, but really, what was off limits anymore?

  "You would wander aimlessly, an empty vessel," Pandimora said. "Your heart is empty because Aisywel is the soul of your existence."

  Drew stared at her in surprise. "That sounds pretty extreme."

  She looked at him. "What if you were exiled by your authority, never to return to the home of your birth, your family -- all that is familiar?"

  "It would be difficult for anyone," he agreed.

  "I remember being in the faerie nursery and hearing whispers of the wanderers, the soulless ones."

  Drew looked at her incredulously. "They told you that kind of stuff when you were little?"

  "Little is a relative term," Irfin said. "Faeries remain in the nursery for one hundred and thirty human years. At the end of that time they will in essence resemble a five-year old human child."

  Drew was stunned. Pandimora appeared to be in her early twenties. "Does that mean you're over a thousand years old?"

  "No," she said, "from about age five to sixteen time moves the same as it does for humans."

  "And after sixteen time moves even slower," Irfin said. "We age one year every twenty human years in the faerie world."

  Drew pushed his fists into his pockets. "And you never die."

  "Faeries are immortal," Irfin agreed, his tone almost somber.

  She nodded. "Unless immortality is stolen from us or we choose a life on the earth dimension."

  Drew turned to Irfin. "And what about you, Irfin? How old are you?"

  "Very, very old," he conceded. "I have seen the changes through the centuries. My father was a pioneer in his day and we gradually grew comfortable living between Aisywel and the earth dimension. Once you are in the fae world, there is always a connection and you are revived back to your roots."

  "What happens if you abandon your faerie roots?" he asked.

  "Eventually, we would turn mortal. There have been those of the fae who felt the love of a human was worth the cost, and they lived out their lives as mortals."

  Drew stared at him, seeing Irfin fidgeting now, sensing some undercurrent about which he could only guess. "How do you play into all this Irfin, besides helping to create this sanctuary?" Drew asked.

  "A small group of faeries came to me, knowing of my sorcerer skills. Collectively, we fell upon the idea of creating a buffer between this sanctuary and any elder's frequency. Quite a simple idea, really. I utilize polyphase power, a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree rotating magnetic field that temporarily scrambles an elder's special powers of perception should they look upon this place." He lifted a brow. "We gave the idea to the great physicist Tesla many years ago, but I tweaked it and re-created it for our own use."

  "Tesla?" Drew asked. "Are you serious?"

  "I worked with him, which was a humbling experience. The man was a genius who sucked up the ideas we gave him and in turn helped give the faerie realm new ideas. There are many times human inspiration comes from the world of the fae and vice versa. Since there have been mini breaches to the magnetic field in recent times, I'm working on a more effective vibrational shield, but it's too unstable to put into place just yet."

  Drew studied the other man thoughtfully. "Let's say for the sake of argument this elder is corrupt. With all the power he holds, what more could he want?"

  Irfin pulled his yo-yo out of his pocket and let it unspool, then with a smooth lift of his fingers it rolled back up the string toward him. He shrugged. "There is no simple answer. He already controls so much within the dimensions."

  Pandimora cleared her throat. "He wants to control everything, elim
inate races he feels are unworthy." She shivered. "He will eliminate two thirds of the universe's population. I have heard it whispered there are elders who felt one faerie should not rule for all time. They were in favor of a new high elder every two hundred years."

  Drew narrowed his eyes. "So he may have been aware of this sentiment and felt his position was threatened. I imagine it might be difficult to step down from power you've wielded for so long."

  Irfin brushed that aside. "Merely speculation. I have heard no talk of dissatisfaction with his rule."

  "Until now," Drew said pointedly.

  "It was a conversation overheard," Pandimora said. "There may be others who share the same thinking as Drew."

  Drew looked at Irfin. "Do you feel the high elder should continue for another thousand years in this position -- especially if he's abusing his power?"

  "It sounds like rubbish to me," Irfin said flatly. "There is no concrete proof as yet. I'm done with this discussion." He moved away from them through the trees.

  Pandimora watched Irfin with a frown. "I only know what I heard," she said. "The elder told me he asked my mother Clare to come to Aisywel. My mother was human," she ended.

  "That must have been a shock for you," he said.

  "Any little thing I learn about my parents is a surprise. And yet I know virtually nothing." Pandimora touched her cheek, a faraway look in her eyes. "It makes me sad that I don't remember my parents."

  "How do you know he wasn't lying?"

  "The crystals don't lie," she said.

  "Just remember there's variation on the truth," he said. "It can sometimes be twisted or cut up into pieces and made to look whole again." Drew looked around them. "The more I learn about this place the more I'm filled with amazement. Your father married a human and she adapted to living in Aisywel?"

  "Yes."

  "Where are your parents?"

  "I thought they left my sister and I to travel to a higher dimension, as sometimes happens with faeries that have lived a long time. It is an accepted way of life. But that cannot be since my mother was human. She was not immortal. The elder said my mother ran off one night. No one had ever spoken to myself or my sister of my parents."

  Irfin walked back toward them, a clay smoking pipe clenched in one hand. He put his hands behind his back and braced his feet wide. "There are faeries that live solely in the earth realm." He sighed, no doubt seeing their confusion. "They have been left alone to live there and have families. Many have forgotten they are of the fae. Many thousands of years ago, all faerie lived together, alongside the elves, leprechauns and the sprites in Aisywel. We all are aware of each race, but occupy our own space. There was also a time when humans and faeries dwelled together, but as sometimes happens there were power struggles over land and space, and we became the hidden people."

  "There really are elves?" Drew asked.

  "And brownies, the knockers, the bogeyman -- ones of which the humans have told frightening tales to their children for many a year," Irfin conceded. "Those are the mischievous ones. They are part and parcel of the fae world, but in truth I don't like to acknowledge their bad behavior visited upon the humans."

  "And I never thought faerie tales were anything other than stories," Drew muttered.

  "They are true enough. Any story ever told has some basis in reality."

  Pandimora fretted. "And another reality is that I cannot stay in this lovely healing sanctuary. The elder is searching for me, and anywhere I remain will be put at risk the longer I stay. I must leave."

  Irfin looked at her. "I must agree, although I will try to mask you as best I can," he said. "I have a small experimental shield you can carry on your person. It may offer protection, but until I perfect the larger shield, everyone here is in danger ..." his voice trailed off.

  "I don't like it," Drew said. "Too much is stacked in his favor. What about those power crystals? How do you fight against those? Is there any way to disarm them?"

  Both Irfin and Pandimora looked at him, aghast. "It is not advised to alter the crystals," said Irfin. "The outcome could be unpredictable for all life."

  "Right at this moment I can't wrap my head around faeries, much less ego driven ones," he said.

  "Humans have the wrong impression about our race," Irfin said. "We are not vengeful. We pretty much just want to keep to ourselves. Long ago the ancient ones saw the need for protection against the immense upheaval in the world's climate that gave rise to cataclysmic events across all dimensions. The crystals were created from precious stone specimens which appeared to hold an energy force within their structure. They became a powerful foundation of balance for all worlds. If the crystal's power is disrupted, the dark creatures below could once more roam all worlds, even the earth dimension. Unrest would ensue, manifesting itself in unpredictable weather patterns."

  "Like we don't have unpredictable weather already?" Drew asked.

  "You have no idea the scope of what could occur," Irfin cautioned. "The earth could crack apart like an egg."

  "It's mind boggling, all this going on under the surface," Drew remarked, frowning. Could Irfin be telling the truth?

  "The crystals keep the realms stable, and all dimensions go about their daily life as they expect it to be. In ancient times one of the crystals disappeared, which divided the faerie realms. Long ago the dark creatures existed alongside Aisywel faeries, but when the crystal disappeared suspicion turned to them and they were not allowed above ground again."

  "What dark creatures?" asked Drew. "There's others?"

  "The Deevs occupy the lowest dimension of all worlds. It is said they stole the third crystal, but no proof has ever been found to support such a theory." He looked at Pandimora. "If we had the third crystal, you could find all the truths. I have searched through time, but I have had no success. It is prophesized the crystal will resurface when the time is right but surprisingly little else is known."

  Pandimora's eyes grew wide. Drew looked at Irfin. "But if the Deevs have it wouldn't they be able to free themselves, if it has some kind of power?"

  "There is no answer," Irfin said soberly. "The crystals have varying powers, but finding the third crystal would enable someone to stand on equal footing with the elder."

  Drew saw the expression on Pandimora's face. His shoulders tensed. "You can't be thinking of trying to find the missing crystal, Pandimora? It sounds --"

  "Dangerous?" she asked, nodding. "Possibly. But the risk would be worth it. Right now I am exiled from my home, without my sister and I have no answers about a family that disappeared long ago." She frowned. "What do I have to lose?"

  "Your life," he said grimly.

  "And what is life without the ones held deeply within your heart?"

  Drew had a sinking feeling about this whole thing. "If a sorcerer couldn't find the crystal, what could you do that he hasn't done already?"

  "I have a gift," she said, now looking stubborn, her eyes flashing. "To find that which is hidden."

  Drew looked at Irfin. "You started this. What do you think?"

  Irfin gave Pandimora a speculative glance. "It may take someone with a special gift to find the crystal." He shrugged. "I will not deny it will be dangerous. I imagine the elder also searches."

  "How did this elder come into all this power?" Drew wondered aloud.

  "Lukais came into power when Declan, the high lord of the faeries, disappeared." Irfin looked at Pandimora. "Your father and the high elder were friends. The night Clare and Declan disappeared the high elder stepped into his place to calm the chaos that ensued. Eventually, he was entrusted also with the care of the crystals, combining both responsibilities into one."

  Drew looked at Irfin. "And how do you know all this?"

  "I lived it," Irfin said.

  "Can you tell me anything about my parents?" Pandimora asked. Drew heard the wistful note in her voice and hoped anything Irfin told her could ease some of the devastation she must be feeling.

  However, Irfin's expression
became troubled. "Declan, Clare and Kirklas disappeared the same night --"

  Pandimora looked stunned. "Who is Kirklas?"

  "Your brother -- half brother."

  She began to breathe hard, her eyes wide. "Why can't I remember?"

  Calmly, Irfin continued. "Kirklas was Declan's first born. It was said your father found the waif when his mother died."

  Drew stared at Irfin. Could this get any more complicated? Now she found out she had a brother. "His mother died?"

  "I don't actually know for sure. There seemed to be an element of secrecy about the appearance of Kirklas, but Declan claimed the child as his own. In truth, when Kirklas arrived, he had light brown hair and blue eyes. When a young child comes into a fae household, they begin to identify and look like the elder of the household. Kirklas grew to look like Declan. Dark hair, bright green eyes. He was fully accepted as Declan's son. He was about four earth years when Declan brought him home, still several years before he met Clare."

  "Where did he find Kirklas?" Drew asked.

  "It was said Kirklas is part human, part faerie."

  A shiver snaked up Drew's neck. "Could he have been stolen?"

  "No!" Irfin said adamantly, giving Drew an annoyed stare. "No. Declan was an honorable man, high lord of the faeries." Irfin turned his attention to Pandimora and continued. "When Clare came to Aisywel she was ill, suffering terrible pain in the head. It was said Declan saw her and instantly fell in love and until they disappeared he loved Clare endlessly and beyond. Clare loved Kirklas as her own, but when they all disappeared, there seemed to be no answers found."

  "Was this a normal occurrence back then?" Drew said, watching Pandimora grapple with all she'd learned.

  "No."

  "Because my mother was human?" Pandimora whispered.

  "Because she was a white witch. I recall thinking it was a strange circumstance to have a human living in Aisywel, but Clare adapted and all faerie children seemed to love her. She never turned away a child that showed up on the doorstep. Many a night a faerie child would be in front of the fire or gobbling down one of her fine stews in the kitchen."

  Irfin pulled the small pipe from his shirt pocket and tapped it against his knee. "After Declan, Kirklas is the rightful high lord of the faeries. But again, there is no knowledge of Kirklas' whereabouts, and we may never know." His words chilled Drew. There seemed to be a hint of troubling detachment in Irfin's words. He had to wonder if he knew more than he was letting on.

  The little man turned to Pandimora. "Only you can prove the reality of what you experienced. Did the elder strike down another faerie or was there something else going on, something you didn't understand?"

  "I know what I saw," she said stubbornly.

  Irfin stared at his pipe. "Just be sure," he cautioned. "Accusations made must be accurate and not a misinterpretation on your part. If it is all true, then there will assuredly be an interrogation by the high elder council."

  "And if Pandimora's memory is faulty?" Drew asked.

  "Pandimora will be forever stricken from faerie memory," Irfin said soberly.

  Drew heard her indrawn breath, saw the devastation on her face. He wondered if it was like being branded a traitor in his world.

  "Do you know anything more about her family's disappearance?" Drew asked.

  Irfin hesitated, but relented upon seeing the pleading look on Pandimora's face. "There was talk Clare may have run off due to the mental illness she suffered," he said reluctantly. "Unfortunately, that's all I know. I did a lot of traveling back then. I was more interested in traveling through various dimensions than staying in Aisywel where each day is the same. I'm sorry I can tell you no more."

  Drew thought of Deborah, who'd been bi-polar and suffered from anxiety and delusions. He thought of his own guilt over the tragic circumstances of her death. Ghosts hung around a long time; he'd been trying to exorcise Deborah's for more than five years. He had to wonder if Pandimora's mother suffered from a similar illness?

  "I must find the truth about my family." Pandimora crossed her arms, her mouth set. "My gift is to find that which is lost or hidden." She nodded decisively. "I cannot give up."