"Yes," he whispers hesitantly.
"But why? I mean, I don't understand. You love your job, you told me yourself."
"I do love my job, I mean... I did. I still do... fuck, I don't know. Things have been off since I met you. Then that night at the club happened and it was like everything was slowly changing. My thoughts on sex were transforming into something deeper, my body's reaction to women even changed. Fuck, I couldn't even get it up unless I thought about your pussy and how good you tasted that night."
His voice has turned husky and I can see the desire in his eyes in the moonlit room. He holds me tighter and I can feel his cock start to harden against my thigh.
"You tasted so sweet, and I loved that you had never come from oral before and I made you come within minutes. I thought about that night before every scene, but even then sometimes I wasn't mentally up to performing. I started shooting fewer scenes because I wanted to be near you. I wanted to spend more time with you.
"That night after the festival, the night I was finally inside you, I knew there was no going back. You had me tucked inside your tight pussy and I didn't want you to ever let my dick go. You're the sweetest person I've ever met, and you do things for me and don't expect anything in return. You're the best friend I've had in a long time and I knew that night I was in love with you."
I melt with his words, "I love you, too. So much. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I think I knew the moment I met you that you were different. I knew that you could make me the happiest woman on earth, or shatter my heart in pieces. You're my best friend, too, and I want us to work. I want this so badly."
"I want this, too," he whispers. "The love I feel for you, it's not the same kind of love that I had with Coral. Coral's was a puppy love that turned into an innocent first love. I don't want to make what we had sound like less than it was. It was great and I would have been happy with her. I loved her and I would have married her and shared my life with her, but it wasn’t anything like the love I feel for you. My love for you is fast and all consuming. Every thought I have is about you. I want to be near you all the time and when I'm not with you, I'm counting down the minutes until I'm with you again. You just make everything better.
"I’ve told you some of this before, but I need you to understand... you’re it for me. I knew it the night we had sex, but you played it off in the morning like it was nothing, and we should go back to being friends. That hurt."
"I only said that because you made your thoughts about sex and women so clear to me. I knew I could have you, but I’d have to be okay with you fucking other women. As much as I wanted you, deep down I would never be okay with that, and I was also afraid I'd compromise who I am to be with you. I was afraid that I'd end up letting you fuck me while still fucking other women. That's why I acted the way I did that morning."
His hand drags up my body until he's holding my chin and lifts my lips to meet his. Our lips touch and brush against each other softly. It's a brief kiss, enough to make me realize how much I've missed his lips.
"I should have realized that, babe. It makes sense that you would think that, and it honestly never crossed my mind that you would feel that way, but of course you would. I should have realized that.
"After that morning I realized I needed to put some distance between us or it would hurt too much. I was a fucking idiot because distance hurt just as bad... no, it hurt worse to be apart from you. I went to work, I didn’t want you to know how much you affected me, but you did. I was completely consumed by you and there was no way I would be able to fuck another woman, whether it was for work or for fun.
"I started hiring guys to fill in for me, which pissed a ton of people off. They took it out on Kelly, so Kelly was pissed at me. I couldn't help it though, all I wanted was you, and my dick knew it. For the first time in my life I wasn't able to get hard and fuck any woman I wanted. My dick and mind were working together and they both only wanted you. They still only want you."
"What does that mean?" I ask him, not wanting to get my hopes up.
Does he want to be with me exclusively?
"That depends on you. If this test comes back and we're okay, I want to date you. Fuck, I want you to be my girlfriend."
"All I want is you Jared. You consume me, too. I daydream about you when I'm awake, I dream about you when I'm asleep, you're all I think about. It kills me to know we've wasted so much time fighting, and not telling each other how we feel."
I reach my hands up to cup his face and look deep into his eyes. "I love you, I love you so much that it physically hurts sometimes. I was with Brock for eight years and I never felt even a sliver for him, what I feel for you. It makes no sense how I could fall for you so fast, but I did. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I've thought about us getting married one day and having kids. When I see my future, I see you.
"You are my best friend and the love of my life, but it doesn't change anything. I want to be with you, for forever if you'd have me, but I can't. I can't be with you knowing you're having sex with other women."
He grabs me and rolls me so I am lying on top of him. My breasts are smashed to his chest and his dick is now cradled between my legs. I feel my body start to stir to life. I'm wet just from the thought of his dick moving a few inches until he's inside me.
"I guess I'm not making myself clear. No more porn, no more girls. I want to be with just you."
I gasp, "You can't do that. This is your job. You've created your own company-"
"I'll still run my company," he says, cutting me off. "I'll still shoot films, I just won't star in them. People will be upset at first, but when I find them the next hot porn star, they'll forget all about Brandon Boner. Besides, if we don't work out I can start back up again."
I playfully hit him on the chest, "We aren't even together yet and you're already talking about us not working out."
"Babe, I haven't done this in a long time. I know what I want, I just don't know how good I'll be at it."
I squeeze my thighs together tightly and he feels the pressure on his cock. "I'll help you out. We are going to work out because my heart can't handle any other option," I whisper, lowering my lips to his.
The minute our lips touch it's like I'm being reunited with my other half. My mouth never wants to leave him. My tongue comes out to meet his as my hands start to move over his body.
God, I want him. No, I need him, right now. I don't give a crap about tests or results. A piece of paper isn't going to change how I feel. I know he wants to wait and get retested, but I need him now. The last month has been torture and I need my best friend to make love to me before I surrender to the depressing feelings that cut too deep.
I reach for one of his hands and bring it up between us so he can squeeze my tit. The second his hand brushes against my hard nipple, his hips thrust between my legs and the head of his cock teases my ass, while the base teases my clit.
I decide to be aggressive and passionate about what I want. Jared moved me on top of him, so I'm going to show him what I can do on top.
I push myself up and straddle his hips, spreading my legs wide and sitting on his cock. I start to grind against him, rubbing myself up and down his length. This is meant to tease him, but I feel my pussy drenching his cock as the friction between his hard dick and my clit have me tingling all over.
Jared's hands are now both up and squeezing my breasts, pushing them together and moving them up and down so he can watch them bounce. Using the muscles of his hard, defined six-pack, Jared sits up and moves his head between my tits. He starts to motorboat the shit out of them. I continue to move my hips, the warmth of his dick and the coolness of his piercing giving me an amazing feeling, and I can feel my orgasm slowly approaching.
"Jared, please..." I plead. "I have a few condoms left... I need you."
His face leaves my breasts and he looks up at me lost, "Babe, we... I..."
I rub my pussy up and down his cock again, slowly.
; "Fuck," he groans. I continue my movement slowly, persuading him the only way I know how. "Where are the condoms?"
"Under the bathroom sink," I pant. "I put the remainder there after we got back from the hotel."
Jared's hands move to my ass and he squeezes gently before he holds on to my hips, taking control of my pussy sliding against the underside of his cock.
He moves a hand back again before slapping me hard on my ass. "Go get one, babe. I have to be inside you, so get a condom before I royally fuck up and take you bare."
I jump up and rush to the bathroom. Digging under the sink I find the open box of condoms and pull two out.
Hey, you never know when that second condom might come in good use.
I rush back to the bed, opening the condom wrapper with my teeth and tossing the foil on the ground, before hopping back up and straddling his waist. I roll the condom over him quickly, not hiding my urgency to be with him.
Jared's hands come out to grab my waist. He lifts me and impales me on his cock in one quick movement.
"Oh... Shit. Shit. Shit." I scream. I forgot how big he is, and I can feel my body adjusting to his size. He thrusts slowly in and out until I feel my body adjust, taking all of him inside me. I start to ride him slowly at first, taking control, and Jared lets me. He lies back completely and puts his hands behind his head, watching me with a silly grin on his face.
"I could watch you all fucking day."
I put all those kegal exercises to good use and tighten my walls around him.
"Fuck, yeah, babe. Just like that. Jeez, you feel incredible. I want you to be wild. Take your orgasm from me, babe. Ride me as hard as you need, rub your clit against me, use my body to make yourself come."
My mind is in a lust filled fog as I listen to his demands. I start to rock my hips harder against him, lifting my hips off him and then coming back down hard. With each thrust I feel my orgasm getting closer. He's so big that it's impossible to try and get my body to hold off, with every thrust he rubs against my g-spot and I feel my entire body preparing to go over the edge. I keep going, knowing this is what Jared wants. He wants me to fuck him until I explode on his dick.
With one last thrust I moan his name and squeeze his dick as I come. I move gently up and down, as my body soaks in every second of pure ecstasy Jared has given me. Before I can recover Jared is lifting me and turning me around, impaling me back on his cock in a reverse cowgirl. I feel him sit up and his chest is to my back. His arms come up, bracing themselves across my chest as his hands grip my shoulders.
"Going to fuck you now, babe. So hard and so deep and when you're ready to come again, I’ll come with you.” I barely understand him as he thrusts his hips up to meet mine. He thrusts back and forth, hard. In this position I should be riding him, but I have no strength. My orgasm took it all from me.
Jared continues to thrust inside me as his hands lower to my breasts. "I want to fuck your tits. As soon as I know I'm clear, no more fucking condoms. You're going to hold your tits together as I fuck them until I'm ready to come in your beautiful mouth. Then, I’m going to fuck your ass. I'll take it slow, but I'm going to show you how good it can be. I want all of you, babe. I want there to be no place I haven't touched."
He continues to rock inside me and I feel my orgasm coming fast, and for the first time in my life I'm scared of it. I feel a mixture of pleasure and pain and I know when I climax it might kill me.
"Jared, I'm close. You have to come now."
"Not until you, baby." He continues his fast pace, lowering one of his hands from my breasts, and letting it slide down my body until he reaches my clit. His fingers start to rub slow circles on my bundle of nerves and I'm done for. I come violently, so hard I don't know if I'll ever come again. He fucked me that good.
"Autumn," he grunts and I feel him still inside me. His body shakes, and I move my hands up to reach back behind me until they wrap around his neck. Our breathing starts to even out and I feel the slightest bit of sticky moisture where my ass meets his body. I lift myself off him and turn around to face him. That's when I see his cum leaking out the edge of the condom. Jared came so much that it didn't all fit in the latex glove.
Condoms. A lot of good wearing one did us.
I hear him laugh and the sound is music to my ears, "I guess when you stop fucking women on a daily basis, you get a cum back up."
I smile his way. I'm glad he isn't freaking out about the fact that his cum is touching my skin. I'm not worried, because deep down I know he doesn't have anything to worry about, but Jared thinks he does and I would never want him to think I was belittling his thoughts and feelings.
I move next to him and fall back on the bed, completely exhausted. He fucked all the energy out of me and I'm ready to fall asleep and not wake up for at least twelve hours. I need to refuel.
"Babe, let's go shower and wash you off."
"Can't," I mumble. "Too tired."
I hear the whimsical sound of his laugh and I smile inside. My body won't allow me to smile on the outside. I'm pretty sure I'm not in control of any of my muscles at the moment, but I will do anything in my power to continue to make him laugh and smile. He seems happy and I want him to always feel this way.
I feel him shift and I look over to see him get off the mattress. He jogs to the bathroom and I get a nice view of his backside. His tight ass and all of his sexy tattoos turn me on, but there is no way I could go again without getting rest first.
He jogs back to the bed with a wet washcloth in his hands and I look at him quizzically.
"Spread your legs, babe."
I do as he says and he cleans me up, wiping all of himself off me. When he's done, he quickly swipes the cloth over his dick and tosses it in his hamper near the bed. We snuggle up together under the covers and I drape myself over his body. My hand falls on his tattoo, the one above the left side of his chest and I trace the lines of his broken heart. Then I trace the beautiful layout of the script with my index finger.
My finger goes over and over the words Nothing Lasts Forever until I start to drift off to sleep. The last thing I remember before I succumb to sleep is Jared whispering he loves me.
Chapter Fifteen
The next week I distract Jared the best I can. He'll be in a good mood one second and then suddenly become all moody. I don't know if I can deal with almost four weeks of his up and down attitude, so I need to do whatever I can to distract him. Sex seems to work at first, until I start to put the condom on him and it's just a physical reminder of why we can't be skin on skin.
Luckily, he hasn't stopped us from sleeping together. In fact, the morning after our confessions and the amazing sex we had, we made a trip to our nearest wholesale warehouse and Jared bought the biggest box of condoms he could find. We have a lot of free time on our hands because production is shut down at his production company. Actually, the entire Los Angeles based porn industry is shut down for the month.
Jared and the other actors still show up to their scheduled set times each day. They have to keep up appearances so no one in the mainstream media will find out about the HIV scare. So far two other people have tested positive for HIV. I'm sad for them. I'm sure up until they tested positive they had felt like Jared. They all seemed to think their form of unprotected sex was safe.
We are at one of Jared's warehouses with a handful of people today. Everyone is just hanging out. Jared has a large flat screen on and some of the men are playing video games. He had food catered in and we are all just chilling for a few hours, keeping up the facade of filming. The mood wherever we go each day starts somber, but Jared does a good job of lifting everyone's spirits and distracting the actors and actresses for a few hours.
The crew is somber because they're worried about the future of the industry and if they'll still have jobs when all of this is over. Jared plays his part well and does a good job of reassuring them that porn will never stop being made unless the demand for it stops, and that will never happen.
&n
bsp; I grab a sub sandwich and a bottle of water, and meet Jared over by the sofa. The guys are playing some military shooting game and Jared has one of the controllers. I'm having a hard time following the game because of the flashing lights and shaky camera movement. It's giving me a headache, so I rest my head on Jared's shoulder and close my eyes, relaxing while he enjoys his fun.
The boys play for a few hours, the controllers constantly switching hands. The few girls that are on set are sitting on the floor looking up at the screen. In an odd way this military game has brought everyone together.
When Jared and I finally leave his warehouse in the afternoon, I'm reenergized and ready for the rest of the day.
"Let's go do something."
"Like what?"
"I don’t know, I just know I’m not ready to go home yet. Let's go do something."
Jared stops his Mustang at the red stoplight and then leans over and kisses me. It's short and sweet, but I still get a little tongue action to satisfy my craving.
"I love when you call my place home. It means you're settled in and not planning on going anywhere," he whispers against my lips, before turning his attention back to the road and the light that's just turned green.
We drive to the coast and park near the beach. The sun's beginning to set and the sky turns a beautiful orange and red color in the west. We sit on the hood of the Mustang and just enjoy the silence. I can hear the waves crashing against the rocks in the distance.
"If I had known California was this beautiful, I would have moved here earlier. Michigan can be so depressing. The summer is fine but fall, winter, and spring are miserable. I've been happy almost every moment I’ve been here, except for when you were moody."
"Sorry about that."
"We're good now though, and that's all that matters."
I'm wrapped in his arms as we watch the sunset. When it gets dark, we get back in the car and head back to the house. I plan on taking him back to his bedroom and ravishing him before falling asleep in his arms.
Changing His Game Page 18