He lowered his lips to mine, and I was so unbearably close to erupting with pleasure, but I could not give in. As my heart hammered uncontrollably without relent, I turned away at the last moment. “Rydan, I…”
Disappointment resonated in his chest as he sighed. “Okay, I’m sorry. I know, we can’t. And I respect you, so, I won’t push it.”
“Forgive me,” I said with no voice, only air. I could not manage to say anything else besides those two words; my heart was collapsing in on itself.
“It’s fine. I’ll wait. You’re worth the wait.” He caressed his thumb over the palm of my hand, and I closed my eyes with intense longing, joy, and temptation. “We can at least be friends, can’t we?”
The answer was no. Servants could not even be friends with princes of our kingdom. It was not the way things were, and there was no changing that. And yet, I could not bring myself to refrain from replying with, “Yes. We can be friends.”
A vicious pain in my heart warned me of the danger I was carrying us into—of the promise that was sure to break once we returned to Luïnil. Still, in this moment, it was more unbearable to have to hear Rydan’s disappointment once more, and so I forced myself to ignore all reason and logic that I had sounding in my mind.
Chapter Twenty-Five
~Nari~
The next day after spending much time alone, Rydan came in the room. I explained my suspicion of what was happening to me and relayed what Cathar had said about too much healing. He told me Mycah had already decided they’d have to make do with only one more week of training, giving them two weeks’ worth in total. Whether everyone was ready to face Ohtar or not, too much time had passed, and since I was growing worse, he was anxious to get answers from a Maite’Ona Healer. We couldn’t wait any longer. We’d leave for Luïnil in one week.
I asked Ry, “Hey, feeling up to a party?”
“Where? Whose?”
“At Zaylie’s house tonight. She wants to say bye to us.”
“Yeah, sure. It’s cool with me. Might wanna check with your boyfriend, though.”
“Don’t call him that,” I snapped. The sting of my decision made it hard to breathe, and I didn’t need reminders of it. Thanks, Ry.
Mycah had been avoiding me since our discussion at the cemetery. I didn’t blame him. I didn’t want to be around myself at the moment, either.
“What do you mean? What happened with that whole thing?” Rydan crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the far wall of my room.
“We broke up. But look, I don’t want to talk about it. We just can’t be together. It’s a whole forbidden thing, yadda yadda yadda.” I waved my hand in the air. The last thing I wanted before going to a party was getting all depressed about things I couldn’t help.
“Fine. But no wonder he’s been brooding more than usual lately.” Rydan headed for the door. My heart throbbed at his mention of Mycah being upset. “When are we leaving for Zaylie’s?”
“Now. Just let me shower real quick. I won’t be long. At least, I won’t try to be.” I had to ignore all thoughts of Mycah if I were to last the night.
Later, we were all gathered around a huge bonfire in the middle of Zaylie’s backyard. It was Desmond, Lachlan, Liam, Rydan, Zaylie, Naminé, Mycah, and me. Ender decided not to join us, and Zaylie’s parents stayed inside to let us kids hang out. My eyes stayed glued to the beauty of the glowing flames. They refused to notice Mycah, who had kept his eyes on my face the entire night.
Oh, dear lordy.
“My mobile is completely flat,” I heard Desmond say, drawing my attention. “I’ll be back. Gonna throw it on the charger.”
“I’ll go with you. I need lollies,” Lachlan added, their footsteps disappearing as they made their way into the house.
Zaylie, from her seat next to mine, said, “Yeah, so, our truck was in the shop, you know, that one. And Debbie the manager has this incredibly cute son visiting from university. I completely swooned when I saw him.”
“Oh, over at Triple R?” I inquired, forcing myself to converse like a normal, non-crazed-lunatic person that fought feelings for Mycah.
“Right, that one.” Three brothers, Rick, Rusty, and Ron, owned the shop, hence “Triple R.” It was the best one in town.
“Psh, but what about Liam?” I was dead-set on them getting together. They just had to.
“What about him?” she asked in that completely clueless way, as if I were the only one in the world expecting them two to be an item. I turned to her to explain, but stopped once I saw Liam staring at us. Oh, boy.
Zaylie leaned over to whisper in my ear, “Can I go with you to Krypton? Or…wait, should I say, Middle Earth?”
She giggled next to my face. There was no stopping my own giggle that erupted forth. I snorted accidentally, drawing all eyes to me in surprise. I blushed in embarrassment, but it only made Zaylie burst out laughing until she had tears rolling down her cheeks. Rydan and Liam laughed then, too, and I of course was back to laughing along with them. It felt amazing to do it, and it felt even more amazing to hear Zaylie do it. Seeing her dead had made me realize how precious she was to me.
I whispered back to her, “I wish you could come with. Seriously.”
“Hey, why can’t I?” she asked after sobering up.
“It’s too dangerous. Plus, your parents would never let you. They just got you back. There’s no way they’d let you leave their sight again. Not for a long time, anyway.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But that totally sucks. I want to see where you’re really from so bad.” She dropped the side of her head onto mine.
“I want you to, too. That’d be awesome.”
“Maybe one day,” she sighed as she said the sentence.
“Yeah, maybe.” I sighed back.
We sat like that staring at either the fire in front of us or the stars above us, soaking up each other’s company. I was saddened to think I wouldn’t know when I’d see her again after this, or if I’d ever see her any more at all. For all I knew, I might never step foot into Kennebunkport again once I left it.
And that was a surprisingly sad feeling.
“Come on, I wanna get to the gate already,” I whined a bit, pulling on Mycah’s arm. He was taking forever in the airport bookstore, and I was incredibly anxious, but excited, about flying to England.
“Nariella, we have an entire bloody hour before our flight is scheduled to leave,” he murmured quietly without removing his nose from the book he had it stuffed in.
“Well, what’s taking you so long to decide? I’ve already picked out three books and I didn’t even look at everything.” I dropped my head onto his arm. I had no patience.
“I’m not trying to decide on anything. I am in here because this is where I’d rather be than out there sitting at the gate.” He closed the book he was holding and set it back on the shelf. “What’s the matter?”
“I just wish this flight was over with and it hasn’t even started yet. It’s my first time flying, and I’m extremely nervous.” I shuffled my books to my other arm where I rested against a tall table piled with stuff. It was tiring just standing here.
“I understand that, but fretting over something that cannot be helped is useless, I’m afraid,” his yummy accent ticked across the words. He picked up another book.
Rydan sauntered over. “Here, take these. I’m gonna get food. It’s a freaking long flight.” He dropped a pile of magazines and whatnot into my free arm.
“Wait, I’m going with you.” I stood up shakily and shoved our two piles into Mycah.
“Oi!” he exclaimed with a bit of playfulness. “I’m not your bloody shopping trolly. Go set them over there why don’t you.”
“Fine. But don’t leave. We’ll meet you back here,” I said over my shoulder as I chucked everything in a corner.
As I headed for the way out to catch up to Rydan, Mycah grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face him. He took my face in his hands and kissed me gently. My heart
stopped beating.
“Do not be gone long. I won’t be able to stand it. And yes, I’ll be waiting for your return, as I always do.” His eyes dropped to my lips as he brushed his thumb over them.
My legs were instantly turned into jell-o. He wasn’t supposed to kiss me. And he certainly hadn’t since that first night in the O’Malleys’ guest room. Heck, he barely touched me after Ender lectured him about our forbidden relationship. Top that with my decision to go along with this love hiatus while we had been at the cemetery, and you’ve got yourself one miserable girl.
But that was how it was supposed to be. We couldn’t be together and he knew that. My eyes had closed as his lips touched mine, and I fought with myself to relish the way it felt. No, I couldn’t give in.
“Mycah, stop. You can’t do that,” my voice was barely audible. I was breaking—it killed me not to throw myself all over him every waking minute, but I had to stay strong. I hated disappointing my father already, and if it meant Mycah’s life, then I had to be good. For Ender. For his kingdom. For Mycah’s life.
Record that line and set it on repeat, please.
And it was silly of me to feel so tormented without Mycah’s touches, right? That was unnatural. I needed more maturity than that. I needed to be independent and self-reliant. I didn’t want to be so utterly attached to a man—or elf—that it hurt every time we were separated. I was not a fan of girls who were like that. It was pathetic. And here I was, exactly that way. What was wrong with me?
This particular kiss was a huge shock to my system, and I was almost angry with him for tugging so violently on my heartstrings. Didn’t he understand the havoc his proximity wreaked on my system as it was? Kissing me was just…unfair. He remained stoic as he stared at me silently. He fought my decision to breakup, but I refused to give in. I swiveled away from him, shaking the thoughts from my mind and caught up to Rydan, taking his hand.
It had been one week since our good-bye party at Zaylie’s house. It was incredibly hard leaving her. I had no idea how difficult it would be until I actually had to do it. Rydan had said good-bye to his parents as well, and that was not easy to watch. He told them he’d be back though, and I wondered if he had truly meant that, or if he was just trying to comfort them.
Before that, Mycah had explained that the Sindora was hidden in England, which was where he had planned on using it. It was too dangerous to create a new gateway in Kennebunkport, especially one that the Black Eagles would’ve been able to slip right into without an issue. Mycah felt it was safer to use in another country, and hopefully, England would bring us close enough to Aselaira without actually being in Aselaira, since that was where the original Ëlemmiire was located. And so, here we were at the airport, waiting to board our plane.
Not much later, Rydan and I were once again at the bookstore with all our loot. Rydan carried the bag of snacks and junk food for the many hours of flight time while I pulled him over to Mycah. He stood in the exact spot we had left him, his nose still stuck in a book. I collapsed onto a chair that sat next to us.
“Finally; I thought you’d never return,” he said without turning around.
“We were gone twenty-minutes,” Rydan scoffed.
“I don’t really care how long you were gone for, little brother.” Mycah unlinked my hand that was still connected to Rydan’s, who only rolled his eyes before walking away. Oh, no. This had to be it. This was the beginning of the end for Rydan and my relationship, just like I had been dreading. Wait, that wasn’t fair, since Mycah and I couldn’t be together, so what the heck?
“We can head to the gate, all right?” Mycah spoke quietly. Ender and Naminé were waiting there for us while we wasted time in the stores. I nodded, not able to speak yet. I didn’t want to lose Rydan, but I didn’t want to hurt Mycah, either.
Mycah paid for everything, including Rydan’s stuff, before directing where we needed to go. After waiting the rest of the time sitting at the gate, it was finally our turn to board the plane. I handed my ticket to the lady, and she scanned it while checking my passport before giving both back. She did the same to the rest of my party behind me.
It was apparently a brand new plane, and I gasped once I realized we were in first class seats. I took the one by the window, leaving the other two open for whoever wanted to sit next to me. On the other side of the aisle were two more seats.
“I call dibs on the aisle,” Rydan announced. Mycah didn’t complain. He let him by so he could scoot on through to it. It was the seat on the complete opposite side of the row from me.
“What are you doing? Sit with me, silly.” I needed his comforting presence more than anything right now.
“Um, I was going to sit with Naminé since this is her first time flying,” Rydan explained.
“Uh, if you recall, this is my first time flying, too!” Not only my first time flying, but my first time leaving the country at all. I didn’t count Luïnil...though, maybe I should.
“Nari, c’mon. You know it isn’t the same. All of this is a first time for her.” He ruffled my hair before claiming the seat, leaving the other one open for her.
I was pretty sure if I looked in a mirror right then, I would’ve had a green hue emanating from me, despite foreseeing this particular thing coming. I was so used to being number one in Rydan’s life, the pang of jealousy hit me full-force and stung me deeply. We had always planned on traveling together, so I couldn’t help imagining him by my side on my very first flight, regardless of where we’d be going. Again, the separation between us was beginning just as I had predicted it would. I looked out the window for a distraction. Ender took the seat in the middle to my left, and Mycah had the aisle one.
A uniformed lady appeared next to us the moment we settled in. “My name is Betsy, and I’ll be taking care of you during your time with us. May I get you folks anything? Complimentary champagne, cocktail, beer?”
She handed us each a hot, cotton-spun towelette in between metal tongs as she waited for our answers. I took mine and basked in its soothing heat.
“I’ll just have hot tea, thank you.” I was chilly and aching, plus the heated towel didn’t last long before going cold.
“The three of us shall each have a beer, please.” Mycah pointed to himself, Rydan, and Ender, not even asking if that was what they wanted.
“I’ll be right back with those,” Betsy confirmed before leaving. Rydan shook his head, smiling.
“You’re of legal drinking age in England, not that it’d matter, since I could take care of it, but you might as well get used to drinking before we arrive. There’s somewhere I’d like to go,” Mycah explained.
“You act like I’ve never had alcohol before.” Rydan tucked his arms over his chest.
“And have you?”
“Yeah.”
“How much?”
“Some.”
Mycah sighed, shaking his head. “Not enough.”
“What about me?” I chimed in, feeling left out.
Mycah lowered his eyes at me. “And what about you?”
“I wanna drink, too.” Wasn’t it obvious?
“You won’t like it,” Mycah explained.
“How do you know?”
He stared at me, not responding. He looked away once Betsy returned with our drinks.
“Oh, Betsy, would you mind if I had a glass of champagne as well? I’m feeling more up to it.” I ignored the looks I knew both Mycah and Rydan were giving me as I pulled one of my new books out of the plastic bag.
“Certainly, I’ll bring it right over.” She smiled.
I cracked open the first novel in a series Zaylie had wanted me to read, but never had the chance to get to once all the crazy started in my life.
Betsy handed me a slender champagne flute that looked very pretty with sparkly bubbles floating throughout. I thanked her, then waited for her to leave before taking a sip.
Drawing the glass to my lips, I felt the boys’ eyes on me the entire time like I was putting on a circus a
ct. The fizzy liquid slid over my taste buds, and I was stuck with the horrid taste in my mouth, not able to swallow it fast enough.
Mentally I held out my tongue in blatant disgust, shaking my head violently from side to side. But on the outside, I sat perfectly intact, not showing a single sign of distress, pretending to read my book. Mycah chuckled from his spot next to Ender, but I ignored him. Maybe he was right. I wouldn’t like whatever he had in store later. But I refused to let him know that, even if he could feel I had been wigging out secretly a second ago.
Closing the book, I forced a smile at Ender, just as the plane took off. Ever since Mycah and I broke up, Ender had been in a much better mood. He no longer seemed angry with me. “I’m glad you’re here. I need a distraction, and this book is giving me a headache.” My eyes hurt too much to read. “Um, could you maybe tell me about my mother?”
My whole body ached in a different way than it already was from just mentioning her out loud, because it reminded me that she was dead. I hated the thought, but more than that, I needed to know what she was like.
Looping my arm around my father’s, I hoped to draw comfort from his strength. I had no time before now to think about how terrified I would be sitting on this plane, since I had been more worried about not passing out from exhaustion than anything else. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but the instant the aircraft started moving toward the runway, my hands started shaking uncontrollably.
“All right, I shall tell you. First, could you perhaps loosen the troll-hold you have on my arm?” Ender asked teasingly.
“Oh, sorry. Troll-hold?” I laughed, trying extremely hard to not break his arm.
“Trolls have mighty grips,” he clarified with a chuckle. The plane started to lift-off the ground, but the instant the very first word about my birth mother left his lips, I couldn’t care less about anything else. “Your mother Nariella was my enemy. Not only my enemy, but the queen over all my enemies, and enemies of my kin. It was my duty as the chosen Guardian of my kingdom’s precious prince that I eliminate her, should the opportunity ever present itself. It was treason to even associate with any who gave allegiance to Lassaira.”
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