Wayward Hearts

by Susan Anne Mason

“We brought Charlie home today.”

  Jason choked. “What?”

  She laughed at his horrified expression. “His ashes. In an urn.”

  “Oh. How was that?”

  She sobered. “I don’t think I actually realized he was dead until today.”

  “Must’ve been hard to face the finality of it.”

  She dabbed her mouth with a paper napkin. “Hard, but necessary.” She glanced over at him. “It’s funny though—Mama took it really well. She seems to have accepted his death and the changes it means to her life.”

  “Bernice is one strong lady.”

  Maxi nodded and sipped her drink. “We had a good talk about Charlie. She told me he didn’t blame me…for Drew’s death. That he actually blamed himself.”

  He finished his meal and wiped his hands on a napkin. “I always suspected as much, but I knew you’d never believe me.”

  The burn of sudden emotion lodged in her throat, and she had to put down her fork. He knew her so well, sometimes better than she knew herself. “I guess my own guilt wouldn’t let me believe you.”

  “And now?”

  She felt his gaze on her face as she stared out over the water and didn’t dare look at him, afraid the empathy on his face would bring about a torrent of weeping. “Now, I think I can start to let it go.”

  “I’m glad.” The huskiness of his voice made tears sting her eyes. She blinked hard to push them away.

  They sat in silence for a few moments, their shoulders lightly touching.

  “How about you?” she asked after recovering her equilibrium. “Have you decided if you’ll talk to your dad?” She glanced over in time to see untold emotions cross his face.

  His mouth hardened. “I saw him today.”

  Her eyes opened wide. “And you didn’t mention it until now?”

  “Didn’t feel like talking about it.” He moved to his knees on the blanket and began to push the trash into the paper bag with unnecessary force. The muscles corded in his arms beneath his rolled up sleeves.

  She reached out a tentative hand and laid it on his arm. “Feel like talking now?”

  He stilled for a brief moment. “Not yet. I need time to think about everything he told me.”

  She bit back her disappointment. “Well, I’m proud of you for at least giving him a chance. No matter what happens, I don’t think you’ll regret it.”

  He raised his head to look in her eyes. A mixture of dark emotions swirled in their blue depths. Before she could catch her breath, he reached out and pulled her into his arms, his mouth claiming hers. He tasted like apples, sweet and sour at the same time. His hands slid down her bare arms creating a cascade of tingles along her spine. Then, as suddenly as he’d initiated the kiss, Jason ended it. He sat with an abrupt jerk and blew out a deep breath.

  She sat more slowly, still reeling. “I’m not complaining, but what was that about?”

  He stared out at the water, not looking at her. “For always giving me good advice.”

  Her lips twitched. “With that incentive, I’ll come up with some more in a minute.”

  He turned his head to look at her then. “You’re not mad?”

  “Should I be?”

  “I think I’ve been giving you mixed signals lately.”

  Unease churned the food in her stomach. Please don’t let him go back to being just friends. She swallowed. “I’ll admit I’m a little confused. Exactly what is happening here, Jason?”

  He got to his feet and reached out a hand to pull her up beside him. Without her heels, she was at a disadvantage height-wise. She willed her breathing to slow down, refusing to second-guess what he might say.

  “I’m not sure. I do know I’ve never felt this way before...about anyone. And if you’re willing, I’d like to see where this...relationship…is heading.”

  Relief spilled through her tense muscles. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it wasn’t a rejection either. “I’d like that very much.”

  The furrows in his forehead relaxed, and he expelled a loud breath. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  He lowered his mouth to hers again, and her body sighed at the familiar feel of him. Joy swirled through her as their kiss deepened into something more than purely physical. As though their souls united.

  When they finally drew apart, Jason looked down at her with such a tender expression Maxi thought she might explode with joy. How long had she waited to see that look in his eyes, a look just for her? He pushed a strand of her hair behind one ear. “I guess we should clean up here before it gets too dark.”

  She hadn’t even noticed that the light had faded to dusk. A faint pink haze colored the sky. An absolutely perfect night. “You take the trash, and I’ll fold the blanket.”

  She hummed as she packed up the picnic basket and stole quick glances at Jason as he moved, picking up the garbage. He was so lithe in everything he did. She could watch him forever. The muffled sound of her cell phone ringing brought her back to reality. For a moment she was tempted to ignore it. She wanted nothing of the real world to intrude on her evening with Jason.

  Then she thought of her mother. What if she needed her? With a sigh, she fished the device out of her small handbag and looked at the display.

  Her heart sank to her toes when Philippe’s ID blinked at her.

  “Hello, Philippe.” She tried to keep her voice cheerful.

  “Maxi, I want you back in New York tomorrow. Not a minute later.”

  21

  Jason whistled as he polished the mirrors on the fire engine at the Kingsville station the next morning. Nothing could dampen his mood today. Not even that phone call summoning Maxi back to New York.

  For the first time in his life, he was truly in love.

  In love with Maxi North.

  Even if she did return to New York, Jason was determined to make this relationship work. He’d make it work because he wasn’t giving up now. Call him selfish, but he wasn’t ready to relinquish these feelings that acted like a drug, running rampant through his system.

  He bent with the rag and began to shine the chrome trim. With this energy, he could probably finish his chores in record time. And then he could plan his speech for Maxi. He was driving her to the airport later that afternoon. Even though she only intended to stay for a few days to put out some fires so to speak, Jason wanted to make sure Maxi knew how he felt about her. In absolute terms, with no doubt involved. He intended to tell her he loved her and make sure she had a very good reason to hurry back.

  As for the future, he’d worry about that later. They’d take it one day at a time and make decisions as they went. That is, if Maxi felt the same way. His hand stopped mid-stroke over the hubcap. What if he’d misread her reactions? What if...?

  No, he was pretty good at reading female reactions, and he knew Maxi felt something for him. The question remained—was it strong enough for her to want a future with him?

  He stood up, stretched his back, and inhaled deeply. He’d find out when he kissed her good-bye. He’d see then whether it was a “see you again soon” type of kiss or an “it’s been nice knowing you” kiss. Every instinct told him she was as invested in this new relationship as he.

  “Hey, Hanley.” The voice of one of the other firefighters broke through the haze of his thoughts. “There’s someone here to see you.”

  A huge grin spread across his face. Maxi couldn’t wait to see him. She’d come all the way into Kingsville. Maybe she’d changed her mind about going to New York after all.

  Adrenaline surged through his limbs as he tossed the rag into the dirty laundry pile, took a quick glance at his reflection in the side-view mirror, and then bounded through the station to the inner office. His smile of anticipation slid away the moment he saw the woman in the blue dress standing at the reception desk. What was she doing here?

  “Gloria?”

  She turned. “Hello, Jason.”

  Something about her seemed different. She wasn’t her usual flirta
tious self. In fact, she appeared subdued, almost guilty. Alarm bells rang in his ears—alarms that had nothing to do with the fire station. “Is something wrong?”

  His first thoughts turned to Maxi. His hand clenched into a fist at his side. If Gloria had done something to Maxi, he wouldn’t be responsible for his actions.

  Gloria twisted a crumpled tissue between her fingers. “Is there somewhere we could talk? In private?”

  A cold ball of fear lodged in his chest, but he refused to let her see his discomfort. He kept his voice low and smooth. “There’s a room down the hall. It should be empty right now.”

  He led the way to the small utility room that served as a storage/meeting room. A rectangular table and four mismatched chairs took up most of the dingy space. He pulled a chair out for her and then took a seat on the other side of the table. Wariness told him to keep a safe distance between them.

  “What can I do for you, Gloria?” He couldn’t help the coldness in his voice.

  She lowered her fake lashes, still twisting the tissue. “I have some news I need to tell you.”

  He frowned, paying more attention to her trembling chin and shaking fingers. This news couldn’t be good. “What is it?”

  She bit down on her bottom lip, which had started to quiver. If he didn’t know the kind of hateful person she could be, he might almost feel sorry for her.

  “I don’t know how to tell you this…”

  Wisps of fear curled through his veins as he waited.

  At last she raised misery-filled eyes to his. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

  Initial relief spread through his tense muscles. It had nothing to do with him or Maxi. “Wow. I’m sorry.” He felt the stirrings of sympathy for her. “Does Marco know?”

  Stunned surprise spread over her features. “Marco?”

  “Yeah, you know, my former best friend you cheated on me with. I assume he’s the father, unless you’ve moved on to someone else.”

  The hurt expression on her face pricked at his conscience. Even though she deserved it, he probably didn’t need to rub her nose in it at this particular moment.

  She shook her head. “I never slept with Marco.”

  His brain refused to comprehend what his ears had just heard. “Don’t lie to me, Gloria. There’s no point at this late date.”

  “I’m not lying.”

  The quiet dignity of her words rang with truth. Icy fingers of panic began a slow climb up his spine. His breathing slowed to almost nothing. “Then who’s the father of this baby?”

  Seconds passed like hours as Jason watched a lone tear slide down her heavily made-up cheek, leaving a trail in its wake. The tear reached the edge of her jaw, hung suspended there for a moment, then plopped onto the table below.

  “You are.”

  22

  “I’ll be back in a few days at most, Mama.” Maxi flew by her mother’s wheelchair in the Hanleys’ living room to toss another pair of jeans into her bag on the couch.

  “Don’t worry about a thing, dear. I’ll be fine with Peg and Jason.”

  Something about Mama’s lighthearted tone made Maxi straighten to scrutinize her mother. The usual lines of worry and tension had disappeared from her mother’s face. She wore a smile which brightened her pale eyes and made her seem years younger. Maxi hadn’t seen her this content for a long time.

  Peg poked her head out of the kitchen. “We’ll take good care of her. In fact, I might put her to work at the shop. Our new receptionist isn’t working out so well.”

  Mama beamed. “I’d love to help. I haven’t felt useful in years. And I’d get to hear all the good gossip first hand.”

  “It’s settled then. You go solve the world’s problems in New York, and we’ll be here when you get back.” Peg gave Maxi a sly wink. “Just don’t stay away too long. That boy of mine will drive me crazy with you gone.”

  Heat rushed into Maxi’s cheeks. Had Jason told his mother about their date? About their kisses? In one jerk, she yanked the zipper closed on the duffel bag. “I’m sure he won’t even notice I’m not here.” She tried to keep her tone light.

  “Oh, he’ll notice all right.”

  The two older women grinned at her. Discomfort made her fumble with the strap of her bag before she hauled it over her shoulder. “I’ll wait for Jason outside.” She bent to kiss her mother’s cheek. “Stay well, Mama.”

  Maxi tried to escape Peg’s knowing look, but the older woman blocked her exit and pulled Maxi into a bear hug. “I haven’t seen Jason this happy in ages,” Peg told her in a low voice. “Hurry back now. We’ll miss you.”

  Maxi swallowed a lump of emotion. “Me, too.”

  Out on the little cement patio, Maxi breathed in the fresh air to calm her nerves. Why was she dreading this trip so much? Maybe she was afraid that while she was gone Jason would come to his senses and decide it was all a huge mistake. Maxi didn’t want her absence to change the fragile momentum of this new turn in their relationship.

  She carried her bag down the walkway to the lawn and set it by the driveway. Jason would be here in about five minutes to pick her up, and she needed to figure out what to say to him before she left.

  Her sneakers squeaked on the grass as she paced. Nerves jumped in her stomach when she recalled their good-night kiss in the truck after their date. She could still feel Jason’s arms around her, smell his subtle aftershave, and taste his warm lips. The enclosed front seat of his truck had become their private refuge. She hadn’t wanted to leave, fearing reality would rush in and break the spell between them.

  Now in anticipation of seeing him again, the same weak-in-the-knees sensation swept over her. At the same time, a bubble of joy threatened to burst up through her throat.

  A taste of her dream was not enough. She had to find a way to let Jason know how much he meant to her before she left, give him something to look forward to when she came back. Despite her fear, she planned on telling him she was falling in love with him. He needed to know that she had a serious stake in this relationship, and that she would definitely be coming back to Rainbow Falls, at least until she could figure out how to make all the pieces of her life fit together.

  Because even if she had to take a mallet to them, she’d make them fit.

  Just then Jason’s truck roared into the driveway and slammed to a halt. He jumped out without turning off the engine. The scowl on his face threw a momentary damper on Maxi’s plans. The bubble of joy deflated like a leaky balloon.

  “Hey.” He barely glanced at her as he picked up her bag and hefted it into the back of the truck. He opened the passenger door and waited for her to get in. The blank expression on his face caused prickles of alarm to skittle down her back. If she wasn’t sure Peg was watching from the window, she’d have laid a huge kiss on that handsome face to make him smile.

  “You OK?” she asked instead.

  “Great.” His face was carved in stone. “Let’s go.”

  In the time he took to round the end of the truck, Maxi tried to think of what she could have done to make him angry. True, he wasn’t thrilled she was going to New York, but he swore he understood and that he was OK with it. What else could have happened?

  The truck vibrated with the force of Jason’s door slamming shut. He didn’t even bother to put on his seatbelt but threw the vehicle in reverse and gunned out of the driveway.

  After a few miles of silence, Maxi took the bull by the horns. “What’s up with you? Bad day at the station?” She prayed that’s all it was.

  “You could say that.”

  His terse answer did nothing to help her. She opened her mouth to ask another question when he shot her a dark look. “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s get you to the airport.”

  Maxi swallowed hard. Why did this somehow feel personal?

  Very personal.

  The hour-long drive to the airport felt like five. Maxi stewed the whole time, wondering what had happened to make Jason so miserable. Had he decided their rela
tionship was not what he wanted after all? She found herself lifting a silent prayer for him not to close his heart. Not after she’d finally had a taste of what romance Jason-style could be like.

  God had answered when she’d prayed for Lily and the baby. Maybe he’d listen to her now. Her mind raced as she tried to form the right words, to put her plea into some semblance of clarity. All she could manage was Please, God, please. A few miles outside Bismarck, Jason suddenly pulled over to the shoulder of the road and shut off the engine. He sat staring over the steering wheel, not looking at her. Dread squeezed Maxi’s stomach. This didn’t seem like a romantic stop over before leaving. Something else was going on.

  Courage failed her, rendering her silent. She couldn’t bring herself to ask what was wrong. He’d have to bring it up himself.

  Finally he heaved a huge sigh and turned to look at her. The abject misery in his eyes scared her more than any display of temper ever could.

  Her palms slicked with sweat. “Jason? What’s wrong?”

  “I’m so sorry, Maxi.”

  She tried to swallow, but the lump in her throat prevented it. “Sorry about what?”

  He was breaking up with her. She knew it.

  He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “This…whatever it is between us…isn’t going to work out after all.”

  Searing pain sliced through her chest, more intense than the stab of a knife. She clutched her hands together in her lap to keep them from shaking. “Why? Did I do something wrong?”

  He turned to focus on her face, which she knew had gone white. “No. It’s nothing to do with you. It’s me—”

  Fear morphed into explosive anger. “Don’t you dare say ‘It’s not you. It’s me.’ That’s the oldest brush-off in history.” Her hands itched to slap some sense into him.

  Then she saw the sheen of moisture in the corner of his eyes. Her breath lodged in her lungs, her mind whirling with horrible possibilities. Was Jason sick? Or worse, dying?

  Jason straightened against the seat, hands clenched on the steering wheel. “Gloria’s pregnant with my baby.”

  Maxi’s mouth dropped open. She blinked once, then twice. Nothing could have prepared her for that statement. As her mind struggled to grasp what he’d said, white noise buzzed in her ears, muffling every sound. Jason’s lips moved, but she couldn’t hear a word he was saying. The air in the cabin seemed suffocating. She had to get out of the car. She needed air, or she’d die right here in the front seat of his truck.