The Darcy Brothers

by Abigail Reynolds

  Behind him he heard Theo clearing his throat. In the shock of being in Elizabeth’s presence, he had almost forgotten he was not alone. “Pray allow me to introduce to your acquaintance my brother, Mr. Theophilus Darcy.”

  The ladies curtsied and made the appropriate sentiments. Elizabeth, her eyes sparkling, offered her hand to Theo, a privilege she had not given to Darcy. Sick jealousy filled him as his younger brother said smoothly, “I trust your bonnet is no worse for its adventures yesterday.”

  “Not at all, since you were so gallant as to rescue it,” she said archly.

  Heavy footsteps in the passageway heralded the arrival of Mr. Collins, his hands rubbing together in apparent pleasure at discovering the nephews of his patroness. “Mr. Darcy, how kind of you to condescend to call at my humble abode! It is a great honor. I trust my dear wife has already made you welcome. Lady Catherine has spoken of nothing but your upcoming visit for weeks. And this gentleman must be your cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, of whom I have heard much praise. It is a great honor to make your acquaintance.”

  Did the foolish man always insist on introducing himself to his betters? Darcy said icily, “That is my brother. Theo, this is Mr. Collins.”

  Theo turned his warm smile on the man. “I fear I am but a poor replacement for my cousin, whose duty prevented him from making the journey. You cannot imagine, sir, how I have looked forward to this meeting.”

  Yes, Theo was definitely planning mischief of some sort, but Darcy could not bring himself to care. He was with Elizabeth again, and she was free. Even if he could never have her himself, at least no one else did.

  *****

  Though Theo’s intention for this visit to Hunsford had been to learn more about Mr. Collins and observe his brother’s interactions with the parson, he was quickly distracted from his purpose when he learned that Miss Elizabeth Bennet of the dark hair and fine eyes was not the new Mrs. Collins after all. What a relief that was! He shuddered to think of such a beautiful creature wasted on the simpering parson.

  When Mrs. Collins urged the group to be seated, Theo hung back a moment expecting his brother to claim the chair next to the young lady, as they shared a prior acquaintance, but he did not. Instead, Darcy moved to the far end of the room where he sat slightly apart from the others. Well, if his brother was not going to sit by Miss Bennet, then he would!

  Theo was quickly absorbed by the lady’s expressive eyes, dancing with humor as she told the story of her recent encounter with Lady Catherine's favorite porcine princess, who had escaped from her pen and come calling at the parsonage unannounced. At the time, Mr. Collins was out on his daily parish visits along with his wife and, therefore, unavailable to offer refreshments to their guest. Miss Bennet had been forced to chase the stubborn pig out of the kitchen garden unassisted. Theo noticed how she had shown no hesitation in making light of herself as she described in great detail the strategies she had used to trick the wily pig into leaving. Her complete lack of self-consciousness in making herself appear less than perfect utterly and completely charmed him.

  Several times during this story, Theo saw Miss Elizabeth glance in his brother's direction. Each time Darcy was staring at them with a vaguely disapproving look on his face. Surely, His Highness could not object to Theo talking to this young woman? She was just the sort Darcy was always telling him he should seek out in contrast to some of the other less reputable women with whom he tended to spend his time. Elizabeth Bennet was a gentleman's daughter and clearly a person of intelligence and good character. So why the sour look?

  “What else have you enjoyed during your visit?” Theo inquired, turning his attention back to his companion.

  “Of course, visiting with my dear friend Charlotte has been most enjoyable,” Elizabeth said, tilting her head thoughtfully, “but I believe my walks in the park would rank a close second to her company.”

  “Then you must have come across old Watling, the gamekeeper, on your excursions,” Theo said, a hint of mischief in his voice.

  “Do you mean that darling old man who cannot see past the length of his arm?” Elizabeth inquired.

  “That would be the very one.”

  “You will forgive me, but your aunt does not seem like the sort who would pay good money to continue the employment of a man who can barely tell a sheep from a deer.”

  “You are both forgiven and correct.” Then, lowering his voice, Theo leaned closer, but soon realized his mistake. The hint of lavender emanating from her was intoxicating, but he quickly roused himself and managed to continue. “Poor Watling's position here dates back to the days of my uncle, Sir Lewis de Bourgh. The story goes that he once saved my uncle's life with the result being Sir Lewis had it specifically written into his Will that the gamekeeper could never be dismissed. He also granted him a generous pension to commence when he wished to retire.”

  “But he continues to work?” Elizabeth looked a little uncertain.

  “Since my aunt has never been one to give something for nothing, she has encouraged Watling to stay on. Thus, my aunt has a nearly blind gamekeeper.”

  The corners of the lady’s mouth turned up slightly at this. Good Lord, she was lovely! The brightest spot in an otherwise bleak landscape of endless evenings of listening to Lady Catherine expound with great authority on matters about which she knew absolutely nothing at all. For the first time since Theo's arrival, he began to think his entire stay here might not be a complete disaster. Surely, his aunt would invite the inhabitants of the parsonage for tea and for supper at least several times a week.

  “I would hope then he has adequate assistance in his duties from younger men with much sharper vision?” Elizabeth's eyes glowed in good fun as she spoke.

  “Yes, and those younger men make certain Watling never carries a loaded shotgun,” Theo assured her.

  “But how do they accomplish that without being discovered and wounding his feelings? Although wounding his feelings is certainly much better than wounding something else.”

  Theo found himself grinning at her like a mischievous boy. “I believe after much trial and error and the near loss of that very pig who invaded your garden, they acquired a second identical shotgun which is loaded with blanks. Before he leaves on his morning rounds, they find some way to make the switch.”

  Elizabeth erupted into laughter. This was not the silly giggling of a girl, nor the false tittering of a woman who was courting his favor, but a light, sweet sound like music drifting in the air. Her conversation, her humor, and oh, the sound of her laughter had drawn him in so quickly. Glancing at Darcy, Theo saw his brother was scowling again. Yes, the minute Elizabeth's laughter made its way across the room His Highness began to look as if murder was on his mind.

  Suddenly, Theo had a rather unsettling thought. Could the stormy looks from his stodgy, staid brother signify he was attracted to Miss Bennet? The idea nearly made Theo spill his tea. She was lovely but not at all the sort of woman one would expect Darcy to have any interest in. The irony was too rich. This attraction, however, could explain Darcy's low spirits ever since returning from his visit to Hertfordshire last autumn, his continued lack of good cheer during the normally pleasant Christmas season, and even last night's tryst with a bottle of Lady Catherine's best brandy, for had they not both been under the mistaken assumption she was the new Mrs. Collins?

  Theo's keen legal mind was forming a theory, but like any good barrister, he needed to gather further evidence before making a final judgment. To do this, he would have to give up the pleasure of Elizabeth's company and seek additional witnesses.

  “Mr. Collins, I understand you have a special interest in horticulture. Might I prevail upon you for a tour of your garden?” Theo asked, turning his attention to the parson who had just taken an over large bite of his scone. With his face reddening, he began to bob his head up and down vigorously.

  Surprisingly, the quiet Miss Lucas came to her brother's rescue. “Yes, Mr. Collins takes very particular care of his garden, a heal
thy activity which my sister encourages at every opportunity.”

  Theo was surprised. The young lady had not spoken a word for the entirety of their visit thus far, but clearly she could exert herself when she wished to.

  “Is it also an interest of yours, Miss Lucas?”

  She blushed as Theo turned to look at her and promptly lost her voice again, merely nodding slightly.

  Elizabeth intervened. “Oh, yes, although Maria would take no credit for it herself, it was her idea to plant the most sweetly scented flowers closest to the front door so visitors who must linger after knocking will be enveloped in the delightful fragrances.”

  “Then, Miss Lucas, perhaps you would join Mr. Collins and me on our little garden tour?” Theo's suggestion was met with a girlish giggle.

  As they excused themselves to go outside, Theo noted with satisfaction that Darcy was slowly making his way over to take the now available seat beside Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

  *****

  Walking around the garden, Theo encouraged Collins to talk about his stay in Hertfordshire, hoping to hear more evidence to support his theory. With several not so subtle comments by the parson himself, Theo patiently drew out the story of how Lady Catherine had sent him to Hertfordshire to mend the rift with the Longbourn family and choose a bride from amongst the Bennet sisters. Theo could not believe his luck. His companion was so ridiculously indiscreet.

  “What kind of flower is this?” Theo asked. As soon as Mr. Collins began to ramble on about the plant, Theo threw in another question hoping the man would just keep talking and never notice the change of topic. “Are all of her sisters as pretty as Miss Elizabeth Bennet is?”

  Collins seemed to muse upon this, then spoke quietly. “The eldest, Jane, is the loveliest creature I have ever beheld. And so quiet and modest, too.”

  “The perfect wife for a parson,” Theo exclaimed. “Did you not offer for her?”

  Collins put a finger to his mouth as if contemplating how much to reveal, but Theo could tell the man wanted to say more. Since all that was wanting was a little encouragement, Theo nodded his head and smiled, a trick he had learned in the courtroom.

  “I was told in confidence by Mrs. Bennet that Miss Bennet was soon to be engaged. To a friend of Mr. Darcy's, as it happens,” Collins informed him.

  “What about this shrub with the little yellow flowers?” Theo asked, as if his very existence depended upon the parson's answer.

  “Forsythia, a particular favorite of mine. I transplanted it here after Lady Catherine's gardener decided to replace it with something new,” Collins said as proudly as if they were viewing his first-born child.

  “If the eldest Miss Bennet was not available, then it would seem logical to seek the hand of the next oldest. Miss Elizabeth is also very comely.”

  At this, Collins blushed and turned to his sister-in-law. “Maria, would you fetch me the watering can? This poor little darling looks thirsty.” Once Maria was out of earshot, he continued. “Oh, Miss Elizabeth would have been a very unfortunate choice for me. She is so headstrong, and your aunt would never have approved.” Leaning in he confided, “It was very fortuitous she refused me, though I believe she is sorry now she has seen my charming abode here and witnessed the generosity of your aunt.”

  Surprised though he was to learn of the lady’s rejection of her cousin’s hand, Theo concealed it as best he could and continued his cross-examination of Mr. Collins until Maria returned, struggling under the weight of a full watering can.

  “Thank you, my dear sister,” said Collins. He took it from her and immediately became engrossed in tending to his plants.

  Sensing he had extracted as much as he could from his host, Theo turned his attention to Maria. Offering his arm, he began to stroll with her to the other side of the garden away from the Reverend Collins.

  “I believe you met my brother when he was in Hertfordshire last autumn,” Theo ventured.

  Still a little intimidated, Maria managed a nod. Getting any information from this young woman was going to require more work on his part. He tried again.

  “I am certain you must find great enjoyment in soirees, concerts, assemblies and such. Were there any events of that nature when my brother was in your neighborhood?”

  “Oh, yes, sir! My parents hosted a party, and Mr. Darcy’s friend Mr. Bingley gave a ball at Netherfield!” Maria's eyes grew dreamy.

  “Do you like to dance, Miss Lucas?”

  At that, Maria went into raptures about the Netherfield ball, the number of partners, the music, the food and even the new ribbons for the dress she wore that night. From his experiences with Georgiana, Theo knew how to listen to a young lady and just what to ask to put her at ease and keep her talking.

  “Did my brother dance with many ladies at the ball?” When Maria looked at him quizzically, he explained, “I like to tease him about such things from time to time.”

  She smiled and informed him Darcy had danced only with Mr. Bingley's sisters.

  “Only Mr. Bingley's sisters when all evidence indicates there are so many beautiful ladies in Hertfordshire! He led me to believe he enjoyed himself immensely at the ball. Surely, he must have partnered other young ladies?”

  “Yes! Yes, now I remember. He did stand up with Miss Elizabeth Bennet once!” She frowned, then added, “Though neither of them looked as if they enjoyed it very much.”

  Fascinating! Partnering Bingley's sisters was a courtesy since they were hosting the event, but his brother had also danced with Elizabeth Bennet!

  Just then he heard Collins calling to him. “Oh, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Darcy! I have picked some of the loveliest blossoms in my garden for you to take to Rosings for your aunt, if you would be so kind, sir.”

  Theo turned his attention back to the parson. Meanwhile, Collins was so caught up expounding upon the generosity and condescension of his remarkable patroness that he lost track of where he was putting his feet. Stepping on a rock, he lost his footing, and before either Theo or Maria could cry out a warning, Mr. Collins lost his balance. His arms shot up into the air as he fell, all the flowers intended for Lady Catherine flying up into the air before they rained back down on his head to spectacular effect as he landed in the midst of a prickly holly bush. His squeals of pain put Theo in mind of the pig Elizabeth had chased from the garden, and he struggled to suppress his laughter as he turned to see the ladies and Darcy rushing out of the house.

  After extracting Collins from the holly bush and wishing him a speedy recovery, Theo helped Elizabeth to gather up the flowers that could be saved and his brother then indicated they should take their leave.

  As Theo bent over Elizabeth's hand in an intentionally exaggerated fashion, he whispered, “If your bonnet ever finds itself in a desperate situation again, it should not hesitate to call upon me for rescue.”

  “My bonnet will keep that in mind, sir,” she said with just a hint of a smile.

  When Theo looked up, Darcy was glowering at him. Again.

  *****

  “Really, Fitzwilliam, you look positively wretched,” Theo said, as they started back to Rosings together. “Are you feeling ill? A little too much brandy last night?”

  At Theo's mention of brandy, Darcy threw him an imperious look. “Whatever makes you think something is amiss? The only thing that comes to my mind is the pain of tolerating your ceaseless questions!”

  Theo's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. The last time he had seen Darcy overindulging was just after Ramsgate, was it not? But no, it was more recent—it was after returning from Hertfordshire last autumn. Again, the connection to Hertfordshire.

  Past experience always led Theo to assume Darcy being out of sorts must be his fault, but he could think of nothing he had done this time, at least nothing more than his usual pranks, to cause his brother distress. As much as he enjoyed tormenting His Highness, Theo's love for his brother was just as fierce and protective as it was for Georgiana, and as it had been for... no, he would not allow himself to think on th
at now.

  After his unfortunate remark about Darcy’s brandy consumption, Theo remained silent as they walked back to Rosings together, his mind occupied with considering what he had learned from Collins and Miss Lucas and his own observations. Oh, yes, the evidence was mounting. Darcy's intemperate mood, his thunderous looks while Theo was conversing with Miss Elizabeth Bennet and his excessive imbibing last night all seemed to be adding up to one thing. His brother, who had rarely made a misstep in his entire life, may just have fallen for a young woman of whom no one in their family would approve.

  Based on his new discoveries, Theo tried to determine how he might smooth things over. If his brother was truly interested in the lady, then he must be very upset at this moment because of the attention Theo had paid her during their visit.

  Theo cleared his throat. “I know you and Aunt Catherine have been urging me to settle down and marry, but I do not believe it would be a prudent course for me until I am better established in my profession. I have my earnings as a barrister, and of course, an allowance from you—for which I am truly grateful—but marriage? That will be out of the question for me for quite some time.”

  Darcy looked at him with some surprise. Encouraged, Theo continued pursuing his strategy.

  “I had a pleasant conversation with Miss Elizabeth Bennet today. She was telling me about Aunt Catherine’s prize pig, who got into the garden at the parsonage, and I was explaining to her how Rosings came to have a nearly blind gamekeeper.”

  Darcy said nothing, but Theo could see the corners of his brother’s mouth turning up slightly even though he was pretending not to be paying attention. Just as they reached the wide stone steps to the house, Theo said, “Mrs. Collins seems a genteel lady of good sense, but Collins is another matter altogether.”

  The image of the man sitting in the holly bush with flowers on his head came to mind. “I hope the cuts and scrapes from his unfortunate tumble do not prove too painful. Despite everything, though, he does seem to have all the right qualifications to be the recipient of our aunt’s patronage.” Unable to resist, Theo took one of the flowers from the bouquet, balanced it on his head, and grinned at his brother.