The Story of Us

by Barbara Elsborg

  Even with the thought of the Muslim summer school, Zed wanted to go.

  “No, it’s not fair on you. He’ll be fine on his own. He has plenty of work to do. When he’s better, he can come with me to Maidstone.”

  The tiny shoot of hope that had sprung in Zed’s chest shrivelled and died. He already knew Tamaz wouldn’t push this. Though it gave Zed the chance to go and see Caspian, so maybe it wasn’t such bad news.

  But it was. When his father brought him home a day later and showed him his room, Zed let out a little cry. The bag had been taken from the wardrobe, all the clothes thrown on the floor, Teddy Robinson pulled apart and Caspian’s book ripped to shreds.

  “I have what you seem to think was your money. I imagine you stole it. It will go to the mosque.”

  Zed kept quiet. Nothing he said would make this any better.

  “Sit on the bed,” his father snapped.

  Where was the guy who’d spoken so kindly to the nurses, thanked them for looking after his son, thanked the police for their care, smiled at Zed as they’d left the ward?

  He’d never existed.

  A metal chain had been fastened to the headboard. His father fastened the other end around Zed’s ankle with a padlock.

  “There’s plenty of length for you to get to the bathroom and your desk. There’s hair dye in the bathroom. Use it. Until I can trust you, you’ll stay in your room. You’ve plenty to do.”

  When he’d gone, Zed gathered up the pieces of his bear and hugged them to his chest.

  Caspian’s tutor was a guy in his fifties and he was a pain in the arse. Nothing Caspian did was right. His handwriting had improved but if it took him thirty minutes to write four lines beautifully, what was the fucking point? He wanted to go and see Zed but his parents wouldn’t let him. They accused him of lying about Zed’s father, as if the short item on the local news about a boy being attacked in Upper Barton by some unidentified young men proved that Caspian hadn’t told the truth. Fuck that.

  It was three days before he managed to sneak away to Zed’s. Three days with no messages from Zed left in the treehouse, so either he couldn’t get away from his father or he didn’t want to. Caspian needed to talk to him.

  The BMW was on the drive. Caspian took a deep breath as he knocked on the door. He was hoping Zed would answer, but it was his father.

  “Hello, can I speak to…Hv…Hvare…” Oh shit. “Please?”

  “He’s gone to stay with his brother for the summer.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  Caspian turned to go.

  “Are you the boy who enticed him into making that obscene image in the wheat field?”

  He turned. “Yes.”

  “I don’t want you anywhere near him ever again. You understand?”

  Caspian nodded, then yelled at the top of his voice, “Zed. I’m sorry. Forgive me.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted Zed to have heard him or not. Because if he had, he was trapped in the house.

  SUMMER TWO

  Chapter Six

  2011

  Caspian’s father gave a heavy sigh, then dropped the report card onto his desk. “This was a chance to start again, away from anyone with preconceptions about you. You’re predicted mostly Ds for your exams next year. Was there a subject you didn’t come bottom in?”

  Fuck you. “Design and technology.”

  His father snorted. “A subject that counts for something?”

  Physics as well but stuff you. “I’m trying. I’ve done everything you wanted. I stayed after the end of term for the summer school.” Though it wasn’t as if he’d had a choice.

  “You were asked to leave the army section of Combined Cadet Force, then the navy. How long before the air force gets fed up of you too?” His father consulted the sheet in front of him. “Not good at doing as he’s told. Insufficient respect for authority. Poor concentration.” He gave a short laugh. “Nothing new there. While I admire an independence of spirit, a willingness to test boundaries, you have to learn when it’s appropriate to do so.”

  Caspian bit his lip. He’d never be the golden boy, never make his father proud or happy. He wouldn’t even marry well and have kids. Well, he might marry and he might have kids but he doubted his father would be happy at his choice of partner. Thank fuck Lachlan had made it into Cambridge, and he’d got a first in his Part One exams, and he was going out with a pretty medical student. He’s probably got a bloody halo.

  “What am I going to do with you?” His father shook his head.

  Just accept me for what I am. Recognise the things I’m good at. Praise me sometimes.

  “Is there any point me employing another tutor this summer?”

  Please no! Caspian shook his head, wondering if it was worth repeating what the psychologist had said. Fuck it, why not? “I need a break from schoolwork. My brain is wired wrong. When I read, the letters jump around on the page. It takes me longer to sort things out. I’m never going to be able to do well in exams. It isn’t that I don’t try, I do, but I get frustrated and then I get angry and…”

  “Then you mess around and get into trouble.”

  Imperfection wasn’t allowed in the Tarleton family. “I’m sorry.”

  “All right. No tutor. But you will read at least one book a week this summer.”

  Find Spot at the Zoo? Meg and Mog? The Gruffalo?

  “I’ll be choosing them.”

  Fuck.

  “Steinbeck, Salinger, Dickens.”

  You have to be kidding!

  ”There’s no need for you to delay going on holiday if I’m not employing a tutor. You can leave with your mother and sisters on Friday.”

  “Can my friend come too?”

  “Which friend would that be?”

  “Zed.”

  “No.”

  “Can I stay here and go with you in August?” He crossed his fingers behind his back.

  “So you can get up to more mischief with that boy? I think not.”

  Double fuck. Caspian stamped off.

  “Don’t slam the door.”

  Too late. Well it wasn’t but too bad.

  Caspian had arrived home from Scotland late last night. His father had sent his driver to collect him and his things. A nine-hour journey to get home, though he’d slept for a few of them. No point asking if his father would let him go to a local school, preferably Zed’s school. Now Caspian was halfway toward taking his GCSEs, he had to stay where he was, even if he wasn’t going to pass any of the fucking things. A Grade D wasn’t a fail but in his father’s eyes it was.

  It had been a year since he’d seen Zed, but only a week since he’d heard from him. Caspian had saved every letter Zed sent to Scotland. The first had been waiting for him when he’d arrived at Blackstones last September. When he’d scanned to the bottom to see who the letter was from, he’d almost cried. He’d shoved it in his pocket, found a place where he couldn’t be seen and taken a deep breath before he’d plucked up the courage to read what Zed had put. The first thing he’d ever been eager to read. He still struggled to decipher it.

  Hi Caspian,

  I’m okay. I hope you are too and that school won’t be as bad as you think. I heard you shouting through the door. You can yell really loud! There’s nothing to forgive. You did what you thought was right. I think I’d have done the same if you were hurt. We might have made it to London, but we’d have struggled to survive. I get that.

  I told the police four boys attacked me. I wasn’t brave enough to tell the truth. I’m still not. You’re the only one I can tell and I’m sorry for that as well because it’s not fair, but to know you’re on my side, to have someone believe me, means more than I can say. I’m proud to call you my friend. I hope you still are my friend.

  I really wanted to come and see you after I left hospital or at least leave you a message but by the time I was allowed out of the house, you’d gone on holiday to France. I worried someone might find any note I left so I hung flamingos from the ceiling whenever I went to
the treehouse. You have a flock now! Did you know a group of flamingos is called a flamboyance?

  I wish you could write back, even though I know you hate writing, but my father might intercept your letters. Not might, he would. I’m going to ask one of my teachers—there’s one who likes me!—if he’ll let you send letters to me via him. That’s assuming you want to. I’ll write again next week and hopefully give you Mr Carter’s address.

  I don’t regret anything we did. It was all brilliant. Every second of it.

  Your friend Zed

  The letter took him a long while to read even though Zed had beautiful handwriting. The relief that Zed hadn’t been angry brought a lump to Caspian’s throat. He knew how he’d have felt if he’d sat waiting with his bag and Zed hadn’t appeared. He’d have assumed all sorts of things. None good. He’d wanted to write straight back and the thought made him laugh. He never wanted to write and now he was desperate. If Zed’s teacher said no, was there another way of getting a letter to him without Zed’s father finding out?

  He’d thought for a long time but come up with nothing.

  Caspian had practically torn open the next letter.

  Hi Caspian,

  Mr Carter said no. He was worried if my father found out, he’d get into trouble and lose his job. I said I’d read your letter and destroy it, never even take it home, but he won’t change his mind. So I’m going to take the risk of keeping on writing to you and hope you want to hear from me. If you don’t, leave me a message in the treehouse at Christmas. I’m guessing you won’t be home at half-term. If you don’t want to hear from me anymore, I suppose you’ll throw these letters away.

  I looked up your school on the internet in my school’s library. It sounds like a prison camp, but I still wish I was there with you. I hope you’ve made some friends. I haven’t. I only need one friend. Shit. Too much pressure, right?

  I had a question come up in physics about terminal velocity and for once, I put my hand up and answered! And I was right!! I hated doing those workbooks, but it’s made this term easier.

  My father doesn’t know but I’m doing music GCSE as well in my free time. I forged his signature on the form. At least I have some lessons that I love. I’m going to do exams in piano and cello next year and Mr Carter’s going to buy the music and pay the entrance fee himself. I think he felt bad about saying no to the letters.

  My dad has a girlfriend! She’s someone who works in his pharmacy. It means he’s out a couple of nights a week so I get to eat what I want and watch Doctor Who. I don’t know what my father’s told her about me, but she hardly speaks to me when she comes round.

  I miss you.

  Zed

  He read the last few words over and over. Caspian missed him too. He’d written back. A painstaking effort to ensure his handwriting was legible, and that he had something interesting and funny to say. He wrote a poem but was too much of a coward to send it so he didn’t. He sent the letter in an envelope addressed to Middleton Academy with a note inside asking them to give it to Zed because he’d lost his address. The next letter from Zed said although the school secretary had given him the letter, he’d been told it wasn’t to happen again. Wanker Zed had put.

  They didn’t get to meet at Christmas because Caspian went skiing in North America, but he’d left a note for Zed asking him to keep writing because his letters were the only things he looked forward to. He thought he’d see Zed at Easter, but he was taken to the house in France and when he came back, it was time to return to school. It had crossed his mind that his father had made sure the pair of them didn’t get the chance to see each other.

  But now it was the summer holidays, Caspian would find a way to speak to Zed. He went straight from his father’s study to the treehouse, hoping to find Zed or at least a message. No Zed but there was a small yellow square of paper on the shelf.

  My first is in garden, my second in track, my third in place, my fourth in trove, my fifth in pride. Poor Matthew. Only twenty-two.

  It took Caspian a while to get it but when he did, he grinned, headed for the graveyard and checked his ancestors’ graves. The treasure hunt took him all over the villages of Upper Barton and Lower Barton. Some of the clues had been pictures. They were easier. The whole thing took him ninety minutes before a clue stuck behind a lamppost led him back to the start. A nesting site for rare flamingos.

  He raced to the treehouse. When he pushed up the trapdoor and saw Zed sitting on the mattress, he almost slipped down the ladder in his haste to get onto the platform. Caspian wanted to throw himself into Zed’s arms but held back. Wanted to ask him to run away with him but stayed silent.

  “Hi.” Zed smiled at him. “You’ve changed.”

  “I’m even better looking?”

  Zed laughed. “You’re taller. Taller than me now. But thinner.”

  Caspian dropped onto the mattress. “I’ve had a stressful year. How did you know I was back?”

  “I went to your house last Monday and Betsy told me you were due back yesterday.” Zed held out his hand. On his palm was a small object wrapped in tissue paper.

  “What’s that?” Caspian asked.

  “Your prize for getting to the end of the treasure hunt.”

  “I thought you were the prize.”

  Zed’s head jerked up and Caspian tried hard not to swallow and failed. He took the prize from Zed’s hand and opened it. It was a small clear blue marble with a frosted map of the world etched on the outside.

  “I’ve had it a long time,” Zed said quietly. “My mother bought it for me, but I want you to have it.”

  “It’s beautiful.” Caspian looked straight at him and his heart lurched. You’re beautiful. He put the marble in his pocket. “I’ll keep it safe.” Run away with me! I’ll keep you safe.

  “I have more work to do this summer,” Zed said. “Maths, physics and chemistry. A tiny part of me wants to leave now before I even sit an exam. The whole year has been test after test.”

  Caspian held his breath. “All of which I failed.”

  “Oh shit. Did you?”

  Caspian shrugged. “Not Design and Technology or physics. I did okay in those. How did you do?”

  “I did okay.”

  “Liar. I bet you aced them all.”

  Zed smiled. “Most of them.”

  “You can’t leave now.” Caspian’s heart sank but he knew he was right.

  “I’ll be sixteen next May. By the end of June the exams will be over and with GCSEs, it’ll be easier to get a job in an office.”

  “If you had A levels…”

  Zed shook his head. “No. Next summer I’m leaving. I won’t stay longer.”

  “I’ll come with you.” Caspian’s mouth was dry.

  “See how you feel next year.”

  “I won’t change my mind. If you wanted to go now, I’d go with you.” He slid his fingers over Zed’s and Zed turned his hand over to hold Caspian’s. For a long moment Caspian couldn’t speak and he wondered if Zed felt the same.

  “A year on and I’m less reckless, more sensible.” Zed gave a wry grin.

  “Shit, my influence has worn off fast.”

  “I’ve always been a good boy. My father thinks I’m a bad boy and I’m not. But I liked being bad with you. I want to do more…bad things with you, but all the hard work I’ve done this year will be wasted if I leave now.”

  “How’s your father been? You never said in your letters if he was still hitting you.”

  “Sometimes he lashes out. But him having a girlfriend has made my life easier. He lets me leave the house. He likes me out of the house when she’s there.”

  “He lets you leave the house?”

  “I didn’t tell you before but after I came out of hospital, he chained me up in my room for three weeks.”

  “He what?” Caspian stared at him in horror.

  “He didn’t trust me. He knew someone had reported him to Social Services. Even though I lied to protect him and said some boys had att
acked me, he still didn’t trust me. He was right not to, because the lie wasn’t really to protect him. I was trying to protect myself. But those chains… It was horrible. Stuck in my room with a broken arm and a chain around my ankle. Nothing to do except dye my hair again, which was not easy one-handed, do schoolwork and think of you. Guess which I liked best.”

  “I worried you’d be angry with me.”

  Zed shook his head. “Maybe at first but not after.”

  “It was Betsy who made me see the police needed to be involved.”

  “I’m not mad at her either. If we’d run, we’d have been in more trouble.”

  “I can’t believe he chained you.”

  “And he ripped my bear apart, and your book. I was angrier about him doing that to my bear than the chaining up. It was mean. I’ve sewn the bear back together but I didn’t make a very good job of it. I’ll buy you a new book if you want. I didn’t want to leave one in here over the winter because I knew it would get damp.”

  “Forget the book.”

  “I think my father wanted me to beg to be released from the chain. I didn’t because he wouldn’t have let me go. Though maybe he kept me imprisoned longer to make a point.” Zed sagged. “I should have just begged.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “Yeah, it is. If I’d run with you…”

  “And when we had to go to a hospital because of my arm? What then? I’d have given a fake name, fake address. If they’d discovered it was fake, they’d have called the police. They might have called them anyway because I looked like I’d been beaten up. He lost control that night. He knows he went too far though he’d never admit it.”

  Caspian squeezed his fingers.

  “So how much of this summer do we get to spend together?” Zed asked, rubbing his thumb over Caspian’s palm.

  “I have to go to fucking France on Friday.”