“I’ll be fine,” Caleb agreed. “I’m happy now that I’m not sweating anymore.”
Ethan laughed. “Just call if you need me, then.”
Caleb smiled at him, and as it had before, it made Ethan’s stomach clench. He shook off the feeling and rolled onto his back in the water, pushing away from the wall with his toes and pulling himself through the water with his arms.
Whatever this was, wherever these thoughts were coming from, Ethan was smart enough to know that they probably weren’t just going to go away. He’d never expected to turn around one day and want to kiss his best friend, but here he was.
Ethan wasn’t even sure that was what he wanted, really. All he knew was that he wanted something, something new and uncomfortable that he couldn’t put a name to just yet.
The only person he could talk about stuff like this with was Caleb. That didn’t really seem like an option this time.
He knew deep down that Caleb would listen, though. If Ethan could figure out what to say to him, what to do, Caleb would help him. He just needed to figure out how to ask for it.
Instead of thinking about it, he focused on the resistance of the water against him, the way it cooled his skin even as the effort of swimming worked his muscles. He let his mind wander, forced himself to stop worrying about whatever was going on and just enjoy the sun and the sounds of laughter around him.
A flash of kissing Caleb hit him like a truck, making him miss a stroke and flail in the water for a moment. He barely caught himself before going under, and felt as though everyone was staring at him as he treaded water in the middle of the pool, looking dazed.
Ethan looked around for Caleb, but couldn’t see him immediately. That was probably just as well. He wasn’t sure how well he’d be able to cover with his guard down like this.
This was definitely not going away, and he’d have to do something if he didn’t want it to haunt him. He had to find a way to tell Caleb.
That sounded so much easier in his head than it was going to be in reality. Ethan didn’t even know where to start.
Chapter Eight
The whole time they’d been at the pool, Caleb hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that Ethan was avoiding him. Now, in the elevator on the way back to their room, he was starting to feel like Ethan was too close, his body heat stifling.
Maybe it was just the heat and humidity getting to him. He’d never spent this much time with Ethan at once before, so his mind might have been playing tricks.
“You caught a little sun across your shoulders out there,” Ethan said once the elevator doors closed. His voice had a touch of concern to it, which made Caleb’s frustration with him melt away instantly.
“Yeah. Nothing a cold shower and some aloe gel won’t cure.” Caleb wanted to shrug, but hesitated, knowing his shoulders would protest.
“I’ll put it on for you when we get inside,” Ethan said.
Caleb hated how much he liked that idea. As it had turned out, Ethan did look like an underwear model under his usual baggy clothes and multiple layers. As if his unfailing kindness and friendship weren’t enough, his body was gorgeous.
Not that Caleb had ever cared about that before. His crush on Ethan had always been based on his personality, and he’d come to think of Ethan as attractive because of it, not the other way around.
He’d been forced to admit to both himself and Ethan over the course of this trip that Ethan was objectively physically attractive. How he hadn’t been snapped up before now was a mystery.
Well, not so much a mystery. Ethan was shy. That was all there was to it. The second the right girl saw him for how great a catch he was, Caleb would be planning his bachelor party.
Since the offer had been made, Caleb went straight for his bags when they got into the room and extracted the after-sun gel he’d brought with him. Considering it was sold literally everywhere here, he wasn’t sure why he’d bothered, but life had taught him to be prepared. He handed it over to Ethan, trying not to look too hopeful.
“Is there anything you didn’t bring on this trip?”
“No,” Caleb admitted. “But if the world ends while we’re here, we should be covered for a few days.”
Ethan snorted. “Turn around for me.”
Caleb obeyed without thought and closed his eyes. He heard Ethan flick the bottle open and pour the gel onto his hand, and tried really hard not to think about other situations where he’d be doing the same thing.
The cold gel made Caleb gasp at first, but it was so soothing that the sound soon turned into a moan. He hadn’t realized how much his sunburn hurt until some of the pain faded.
“Sounds like this is helping,” Ethan said with laughter in his voice. “I need you to do the back of my neck after this. I guess I missed it with the sunscreen.”
“This situation probably could have been avoided if we’d helped each other put on sunscreen in the first place,” Caleb said. He’d missed the excuse to touch Ethan the first time, but he wasn’t going to miss it a second time, if they did this again.
Caleb turned and took the bottle from Ethan when he was done. He poured gel on his fingers and repeated the process Ethan had, swiping a thick layer across the back of his neck and trying not to touch the burn with his fingers afterward.
“Oh, that feels good.” Ethan sighed happily. “Man. Wow. Almost worth getting sunburned for.”
“We should put this in the mini fridge.” Caleb closed the lid on the bottle. “So it’ll be cool for the next application.”
Ethan chuckled. “Sounds good. How long do we have until we’re expected at the party?”
“A couple of hours. I was going to eat right before we went, if you wanna come with me.”
“Can I nap first? Just for twenty minutes or so.”
“Well, I wasn’t going straight away. I’d like a shower, and I figure you’ll want one, too.”
“I guess I’ll need one, considering the amount of chlorine in that pool.” Ethan smiled wryly, settling down on the bed.
“Be thankful for the chlorine, hotel pools are disgusting,” Caleb said. “At least this way you won’t catch the plague.”
Ethan hummed, his eyes already closed. Caleb decided not to bother him any longer if he was going to sleep, and headed for the bathroom. He probably should have showered and then gotten Ethan to put the gel on his shoulders, but he could always ask for a re-application before he got dressed again.
Caleb moaned softly the moment he stepped under the cool spray. He could feel the heat washing out of his shoulders as the water ran over them, and he was content to lean with his head against the tiles and let himself cool off. If Ethan was taking a twenty-minute nap, he could afford to have a ten-minute shower.
Caleb found his mind drifting back to Ethan, to his broad shoulders and strong thighs, to the way he’d looked stepping out of the pool, his damp skin glistening in the sun. Despite the coldness of the water against his back, his cock began to stir.
He hadn’t had a chance to get off in days, and that wasn’t helping his mood at all. Caleb licked his lips.
There was no harm in it, right? He could be quiet, and on the off chance that Ethan heard him, it wasn’t as though Ethan would be shocked or scandalized by the fact that Caleb masturbated. They were both adults.
Before he’d finished convincing himself it was a good idea, Caleb wrapped his fingers around his cock, hissing at the temperature contrast. His hand had been against the cold tiles, too. It didn’t do anything to stop him hardening in his hand, though.
Caleb considered for a moment that he should direct his thoughts away from Ethan, but discarded the idea almost immediately when he realized nothing else appealed. It wasn’t exactly the first time he’d masturbated over his best friend. The fact that Ethan was in the next room only meant he had to be quiet about it.
Instead of trying to push the thought away, Caleb let himself imagine Ethan coming into the bathroom, stripping off and stepping into the shower without a wor
d. He let himself feel the anticipation, waiting for the first touch of Ethan’s fingertips on his back, just below where his sunburn was. Ethan would make a soft, concerned sound, then lean in and kiss the back of his neck even as he grabbed a bottle of lubricant and flicked it open.
Ethan would open him up delicately, careful not to do any harm, slow and cautious and so, so thorough. Then he’d press Caleb up against the tiles, the weight of his body pinning him in place, and fill him so full he’d be afraid of bursting. He’d seen the outline of Ethan’s cock through his wet board shorts. There was more than enough of it to make this good, satisfying, almost too much, but not quite.
The angle would be awkward and the thrusts shallow, but it wouldn’t matter. Ethan would bat Caleb’s hand away from his cock and replace it with his own, stroking him slowly at first, then harder, faster, until they were both on the edge. His breath hot against Caleb’s neck, his cock still filling him up, making him whine and moan against the tiles.
Caleb whimpered as he came over his hand, leaning his full weight against the wall in front of him to keep himself upright. He caught his breath for a few moments, then turned and washed away the evidence of what he’d been doing.
Ethan would never have to know about it, and that was just as well. It was one thing to pretend to be dating your best friend, another thing entirely to find out they had sexual fantasies about you sometimes. Especially right now.
Even as Caleb stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, the thought of Ethan didn’t quite fade away. It was too easy to imagine Ethan after sex, warm and affectionate and clingy. That, if anything, was worse than wanting to be fucked in the shower.
The thing was that Caleb was attracted to Ethan and did definitely want to have sex with him, but he also just wanted to be with him. He wanted cuddles on the couch and fun date nights and waking up beside him, even more so now that he’d done that last one.
Ethan didn’t need to know about that, either, though. Caleb had kept his feelings secret for a long time, and even in close quarters, he could manage another few days of secrecy.
Then, when he got home, he could find someone to work out his frustrations with. Every day for a week.
Chapter Nine
In his entire life, Ethan had never been to a bachelorette party. He’d heard stories about them, and he knew what they were supposed to be like, but he’d never seen one up close before.
He wished things had stayed that way, honestly. Large groups of girls were terrifying.
Caleb, on the other hand, seemed to be in his element. It was completely unfair that he was surrounded by hot women who were practically basking in his presence when he wasn’t even a little interested.
On the other hand, he’d said on the plane that he hated these kinds of situations. It was hard to believe him right now, but Caleb was good at smiling and pretending nothing was wrong, even when it was.
Just as he was thinking that, Ethan saw one of Olivia’s friends leaning in. Before he could work out what was happening, she was kissing Caleb, practically crawling into his lap.
He owed Caleb twenty dollars. More to the point, he needed to step in. That was what a real boyfriend would do.
Ethan strode over and tapped the girl—Emma, he thought he name was—on the shoulder. “Excuse me, ma’am. This one’s mine.”
Emma paused, then pouted and backed off. “Sorry,” she said. “All the good ones are gay.”
Ethan almost went to argue, but thought better of it at the last moment. He watched Emma back off, pouting. No one pouted when they didn’t get to kiss Ethan, but then maybe Caleb was more attractive because he was forbidden fruit.
“Thank you for the rescue,” Caleb said once Emma was out of earshot. “I never know how to handle that.”
“I figured.” Ethan sat down next to Caleb. He had a protective streak, and it had just been set off. He wasn’t going to leave Caleb’s side any time in the near future.
While Caleb sipped his beer, Ethan got out his wallet and fished out a twenty-dollar bill, handing it over. Caleb looked at it for a moment, and then waved it away. “That was a sucker’s bet. I’m not gonna make you honor it.”
“You really did know it was gonna happen, huh?” Ethan asked, tucking the bill into Caleb’s shirt pocket instead. It might have been a sucker’s bet, but he made it. He intended to pay up, whether Caleb insisted or not.
“Happens every time. This is why I don’t have friends,” Caleb said.
“You’ve got me.”
“You’re different. I wouldn’t feel compelled to fight you off if you tried to kiss me.”
“Good,” Ethan said. His stomach swooped as he leaned in, and before he’d finished deciding what he was going to do, his lips had connected with Caleb’s, his hand coming up to stroke Caleb’s cheek.
He wasn’t sure why he was doing what he was doing, but it wasn’t anything like he thought it would be. Kissing Caleb was like kissing anyone else—his face was a little rougher, but his lips were soft and his mouth was warm. He tasted of beer and smelled of cedar aftershave, and the soft, surprised sound he made left Ethan’s chest tight.
It was all over in a second or two, and Ethan backed away with his lips tingling and his head spinning. He’d kissed Caleb. On purpose. Out of nowhere.
That uncomfortable something he wanted was getting a lot clearer in his mind, now.
Caleb looked equally confused. “Umm,” he said, blinking at Ethan. “What… what was that for?”
“I…” Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I figured that if they saw me kissing you, no one else would try it. Clearly not everyone got the message that you’re taken. And gay.”
“Oh,” Caleb said. His shoulders slumped, and he sipped his beer again.
Ethan was starting to feel guiltier by the second. He’d kissed his best friend out of nowhere and he couldn’t even come up with a good reason why.
Well, he could, he just didn’t really want to share it. Ethan had never felt like this before, and he didn’t know where to begin. He’d taken the opening when he’d seen one, because he wanted to kiss Caleb.
He wanted to kiss Caleb because of the spark of attraction he’d felt earlier in the day, and because seeing Emma doing it had left him jealous. What was behind that, or why he was feeling it now, he genuinely didn’t know. None of that was stuff he thought he should be discussing in public. Especially at a party where he and Caleb were already supposed to be together.
The last thing he wanted was to hurt Caleb, though. He’d have to give him part of the truth to avoid that.
“And I was curious,” he said, knowing that he’d given the wrong answer the first time.
Caleb took a breath to speak, but sipped his beer instead. Ethan waited another few seconds for an answer, not sure that had been the right thing to say, either.
“And?” Caleb asked, finally.
“And what?” Ethan frowned. He wasn’t going to admit to being jealous if he could help it. His mind was telling him that he’d acted out of jealousy, out of a need to mark Caleb out as his, but they weren’t really dating.
Did he want them to be really dating? Was that what this was about?
Ethan didn’t have the answer to that, either. He had a lot of questions, and no one to ask them of.
He remembered Caleb talking about needing to experiment to find out how he really felt, and wondered if that was what was going on with him now. Maybe he needed to experiment.
“Is your curiosity satisfied?”
Ethan wet his lips. Was Caleb offering to kiss him again? Or at least leaving him another opening?
He had no reason to do that. Now that he thought about it, Ethan was sure Caleb had been joking about not fighting him off. Caleb wasn’t interested in him. He would have said so by now.
“Uh.” Ethan swallowed. “Yeah, I guess. Hey, I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to do.”
“It’s okay,” Caleb said, his tone soft and soothing. “T
wenty bucks definitely buys you a kiss.”
Ethan laughed. “How much to pretend it never happened?”
Caleb paused, draining the last of his beer and setting the empty bottle aside. “I’ll do that for free. You’re not the first curious straight guy, and you probably won’t be the last.”
Even as relief washed over him, Ethan couldn’t help but feel as though he’d lost something. He couldn’t put his finger on it, couldn’t begin to figure out what it was, but he could see a path not taken fading in the distance. He had no idea where the path would have led, or how he could have taken it, but he knew it was gone, all the same.
The path he had taken seemed much safer. That much, Ethan was sure of. He’d just taken the easy way out, and he was already starting to regret it.
As Caleb leaned against him, resting his head on Ethan’s shoulder, he realized at least part of what he’d just given up. The chance for this to be the real deal.
He could hardly believe he was thinking it. He had been jealous over Caleb before, though. Quietly resented his boyfriends for taking him away, even though Caleb had always made time to see Ethan. It had been a relief up to now that every one of them actually turned out to be an asshole, because Ethan’s instant dislike had been based, mostly, on the fact that they existed at all.
A bachelorette party was neither the time nor the place to be having this conversation with himself. He was three beers in, and perhaps not as sober as he felt. This was probably just his general loneliness talking.
He hated Caleb’s previous boyfriends because they were dicks. That was it.
He stuffed all thoughts of really dating Caleb back into the dark corner of his mind they’d come from. They were having a good time while they were away, and it was only natural that Ethan would want to try to capture that for later. He couldn’t, though, and even if he could, Caleb wouldn’t want to.
The Wedding Date Page 5