Caleb would want experience, and Ethan had exactly none of that. So there was no point in even entertaining the thought.
“Can we bail?” Caleb asked. “I’m tired.”
Ethan, grateful for the distraction, stood and rolled his shoulders. “Goodnight, ladies. I gotta take this one to bed.” He winked for effect, earning himself a chorus of giggling and wolf-whistles. He tried to ignore how good it felt to have a room full of people really believe Caleb would pick him.
When he turned to Caleb again, he was blushing, but smiling as well. Ethan offered his arm, a tiny thrill of pleasure running through him as Caleb took it.
The air outside did absolutely nothing to clear his head, the night almost as warm and sticky as the day had been. Who the hell got married in Hawaii in September? The first day had been mild and dry, but today it was really obvious that they were in the tropics.
Caleb didn’t let go of his arm, though, despite having spent most of the day complaining about the heat.
“Thanks for getting me out of there,” he said. “And in all seriousness… if you do need someone to experiment with, you can come to me. I’m clean, and I’ll never tell a soul.”
Ethan cleared his throat, glad that the darkness hid his blush. “Thanks for the offer.”
He really, really wanted to refuse it outright, but something stopped him. Maybe he did want to experiment. And if anyone was safe to experiment with, Caleb was.
There was no reason he had to give a definitive answer now. Caleb hadn’t asked for one. He’d probably forget this conversation ever happened in a few days, but that still gave Ethan a window of opportunity. Hawaii wasn’t quite Vegas, but it was a whole different place, far away from their real lives. They could do stuff here that didn’t come home with them.
Caleb didn’t push, so Ethan didn’t qualify his answer. He had so much to think about.
Chapter Ten
Caleb had two distinct, huge problems to worry about as he sat down to the rehearsal dinner.
The first was that Ethan had kissed him, and then he’d offered to let Ethan experiment with him. Not only had he succeeded in making things weird between them, but he’d totally given himself away as pining after Ethan, and now there was definitely a rift between them.
The second was that he was probably more romantically attached to the steak that had just been put down in front of him than his sister was to her husband-to-be. While that wasn’t strictly his problem, it was his little sister, and marriage was a fairly permanent arrangement. He couldn’t let her go through with this if what he was seeing was right.
He knew her well enough to know when she wasn’t really interested in a guy. Her smiles were haunted, her posture stiff. It was subtle, and everyone else was too busy being excited about the fairytale wedding to notice. Now that Caleb had noticed, though, he needed to do something about it before it was too late. He wasn’t going to let his sister make the same mistake he kept making.
“You seem tense,” Ethan murmured beside him. “Everything okay?”
That brought him straight back to the first problem. Ethan had been distant all day, and now Caleb was jumping every time he spoke or touched him. If he kept that up, the story that they were dating wasn’t exactly going to hold.
More to the point, he’d missed Ethan when they’d been apart this morning. It had only been for a few hours, but the feeling that he’d screwed up had settled deep in his stomach and wouldn’t budge. They’d been too busy with wedding stuff since then for Caleb to do anything other than worry about it, since he hadn’t had the chance to talk to Ethan.
“Yes,” Caleb said. “No,” he amended. “I’m fine. I just need to talk to my sister after dinner. You should go back to the hotel without me.”
“Okay.” Ethan nodded, undeterred from eating.
“No interrogation?” Caleb asked. He wanted Ethan to say something, react at all to what had happened the night before, but he’d been neutral all day. It was making Caleb anxious.
“I figure if you wanted to tell me what’s going on, you’d tell me. I’m happy to listen, but I’m not gonna pry. If it’s between you and your sister, it’s none of my business.”
Caleb shifted in his chair. He wasn’t sure whether Ethan was being reasonable, or cold. He hated not being able to tell. He hated feeling as though he’d made a mess of their friendship, despite the fact that Ethan had kissed him, not the other way around.
He’d stopped himself from leaning in and kissing Ethan a thousand times. Why did Ethan have to start it?
“Okay then.” Caleb poked at his food, suddenly not particularly hungry. “I don’t know how long I’ll be, so don’t wait up for me or anything. Or feel free to go out by yourself or whatever. I won’t be offended.”
“No problem. Seriously, you’re here for family stuff. Don’t feel guilty for doing family stuff.”
“Thank you,” Caleb said. He told himself that everything was fine, Ethan was just trying to give him space. Making himself believe it was another thing, but he could work on that.
First, he needed to figure out what was happening with Olivia. He couldn’t let it go now that he was sure of what he was seeing. It was one thing for him to have a string of bad relationships, but he wasn’t going to let that happen to Olivia. She deserved better.
As he watched her drink a glass of water instead of champagne—the third time he’d seen her drinking something other than alcohol when everyone else was—Caleb began to work out what was going on.
Olivia was pregnant. There was no other reason for her to suddenly stop drinking, especially at her own bachelorette party the night before.
That might complicate things, but pregnancy was no reason to marry someone you didn’t love. On the off chance their parents refused to help, Caleb would step in. He smiled to himself at the idea of having a little niece or nephew.
Caleb sat through the rest of dinner rehearsing what he was going to say. He needed to tell Olivia that he could see what was going on and that she didn’t have to go through with this if she didn’t want to. Maybe she had some other reason—maybe Payton was offering her something other than love—but if she thought she was stuck with him because of a pregnancy and because she’d organized a wedding, he needed to get through to her.
That was what older brothers were for, after all.
As everyone was leaving, Caleb approached Olivia and Payton with a smile plastered on his face. Payton didn’t need to know that he was in a bad mood.
“Can I borrow my sister for a minute? I’d like to talk to her.”
“As long as you bring her back,” Payton said, beaming. The worst of it was that Caleb got the impression Payton did like Olivia. That wasn’t enough, though. One-sided relationships weren’t good for anyone.
“Promise.” Caleb held out his arm for Olivia, who raised an eyebrow, but took it and allowed herself to be led away.
The reception venue had beautiful palm-lined gardens, and the night was warm, so Caleb walked them away from the rest of the crowd and into a secluded corner, sitting down on a short stone bench once he found one. They were out of sight and well and truly out of earshot, which was what he needed.
“You’re not in love with Payton,” he said. There was no point in trying to be delicate about it. Bluntness was the only option in his family.
Olivia pursed her lips. “You’re not dating Ethan, either.”
Caleb swallowed. Of course Olivia knew. They’d known each other their whole lives.
“But I think you’d like to be,” she added.
“Don’t change the subject.” Caleb cleared his throat. “I know you’re pregnant. But don’t… don’t trap yourself in a loveless marriage because of it. You don’t need a husband to take care of you. You’re strong and smart and you’ll have me and mom and dad.”
“I know I don’t need a husband,” Olivia snapped. Caleb flinched, not used to his sister having a short fuse. “This is my decision. Payton’s a good man.”
That was, Caleb realized, what he did. He put up with sub-par men because it was easy, at first, and then a habit later. The last few days of pretending to be with Ethan had shown him just how bad his previous relationships had been. Ethan was right. He deserved better, and so did Olivia.
“I’m not settling,” Olivia said. “I don’t have to justify myself to you.”
“No, you don’t,” Caleb agreed. “Tell me this is what you want. Look me in the eye and tell me, ‘Caleb, this is what I want, butt out,’ and I’ll shut up about it.”
Olivia turned to look at him. She held his gaze for a handful of seconds, a stray curl bouncing in front of her face. Cicadas chirped in the background. For a moment, Caleb thought she was actually going to tell him that this was what she wanted, that he’d misread the situation. Then she looked away, down at the gravel under her feet.
“It’s too late to back out now,” Olivia said. “Everyone’s here. The wedding’s in two days.”
“It’s not too late,” Caleb said. “It’s not too late until you sign your name on the papers. And even then… I’ll help you. Whatever you decide, I’m here. But I really don’t want to see you tie yourself to a man you don’t love. A man you don’t even particularly like.”
Tears sprung up in Olivia’s eyes, making them shine in the moonlight. “You’re gonna make my mascara run.”
“You can tell people I said something so heartwarming it made you cry. Just… please don’t do this. You don’t have to run out now and call the wedding off. I will come with you, I will help you explain to mom and dad, I will tell Payton myself if you want. You can hide in my hotel room and get hugs from Ethan, if you want.”
Olivia laughed at that. “He does seem nice. Where did you even find him?”
“We work together. He’s my best friend.”
“How come I’ve never heard about him before, then?”
Caleb considered that question for a moment, even though he was aware that Olivia was trying to change the subject again. “I guess I wanted to keep him to myself, because I’m pathetic and I’ve fallen for a straight guy. But that’s not what we’re talking about.”
“I don’t know if I can back out of this,” Olivia said, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. “I can’t put everyone through that. And Payton's a good guy with good prospects who’s going to be so heartbroken if I don’t go through with it.”
“Okay, so, maybe Payton is going to be heartbroken, but that’s not really your problem. It’s… unfortunate that it’s gone this far already, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay on a sinking ship. Setting all this up was a mistake. Marrying someone you don’t want to be married to would be a way bigger mistake, and harder to fix.”
“You’re right,” Olivia said. “You’re always right.” She smiled wryly.
“I’m very smart,” Caleb agreed.
“I need to think about this.” Olivia sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Caleb dug a packet of disposable tissues out of his jacket and handed them over.
“God, how are you always a walking drug store?” Olivia asked, taking the packet from him and tearing it open.
Caleb chuckled. “I like taking care of people. I know it doesn’t really seem that way. I also have aspirin if you need it.”
“I think I have to be careful about what I take while I’m pregnant.” Olivia sniffed again. “But thanks.”
“Anytime.” Caleb looked up, taking in the view over the water, the palm trees swaying gently in the distance. This was a beautiful place, and he’d spent most of his time here worried about one thing or another. It would have been nice to just relax for fifteen minutes.
This was more important, though. This was his sister’s whole future.
“We should go back,” Olivia said after a few moments of silence. “Before someone comes looking for us.”
Caleb stood, offering his arm again. “If you need me, you know where my room is. You’re always welcome.”
“You’re a good brother,” Olivia said. “And you should tell Ethan how you feel.”
“Nope.” Caleb shook his head. “No way, not in this lifetime. I can’t afford to risk losing him.”
“So you’re all about giving advice, but you can’t take it?” Olivia raised an eyebrow.
“Correct,” Caleb said. “I know I’m being an idiot about Ethan. I’m just choosing to continue to be an idiot, because I’d rather keep him as a friend than risk losing him as a boyfriend. I’m not fun to date, or I wouldn’t go through so many men. I know my own limitations.”
“You’re wrong. And he likes you. You’ll see.”
Caleb snorted. He knew Olivia was trying to deflect, but he wished she’d chosen a different way of doing it. He didn’t want to think about how much he wanted her to be right. How thrilled he would have been to think that Ethan actually did want him.
If it made her feel better, though, he wasn’t going to correct her. He wanted her to make a decision she’d be able to live with, not argue with him over his love life. Her situation was a lot more urgent.
His own situation could be put off indefinitely, and that was what he intended to do. Ethan would forget about his offer, and the weirdness between them would fade, and everything would be okay.
As long as everything ended up okay for Olivia, Caleb would consider this a reasonably successful vacation and go home happy. All he could do now was wait and see what his sister was going to do, and hope it was the right thing.
Chapter Eleven
Ethan knew he was being weird around Caleb and wished things would go back to normal, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Caleb’s offer to experiment with him.
More to the point, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to take it up. Caleb was totally safe, and Ethan was so, so curious. Kissing Caleb had felt good, and while that was definitely something Ethan was still processing, this seemed like a golden opportunity to figure out exactly how he felt.
Things that happened on vacation didn’t have to come home with you. Even if he was going home with Caleb, they could do this now and leave it behind them.
At least, that was what Ethan was telling himself as he tried to pluck up the courage to say something. The only time he’d ever thought about something like this before was when he’d been asked in high school if he had any guy crushes and he’d admitted that he did.
The way it had been phrased at the time, he’d assumed everyone did. They’d laughed at him for weeks, though, and it had only ended when someone else screwed up just as badly. He’d almost forgotten about it until Caleb had told him it was okay if they changed in the same room the other day. He’d remembered guys pretending to be afraid of changing in front of him, the kind of homophobic crap insecure teenagers loved to do to each other.
Since then, he hadn’t been able to make his mind shut up about it. Or about Caleb.
The sound of the door opening made him jump. Caleb stepped into the room and closed the door behind him a little harder than he needed to.
Maybe now wasn’t a good time.
“You okay?” Ethan asked as he watched Caleb pull his tie loose and shrug his jacket off.
“I… I shouldn’t burden you with this,” Caleb said.
“Yeah you should. I can listen.”
“My sister isn’t in love with her fiancé and I’m not sure I got through to her about not having to marry him. I guess there’s nothing more I can do, but I wish there was,” Caleb explained as he removed his shirt, tugging it out of the waistband of his pants and dislodging the vest he was wearing under it. “Also, she’s pregnant.”
Ethan stared at the strip of Caleb’s stomach that was
suddenly naked in front of him. He wet his lips, and eventually managed to look up at him. “Umm,” he said. “Wow. That’s…”
“Right, exactly.” Caleb sat down on the bed beside Ethan. “I just. I dunno. I don’t want her making the same mistake I keep making. She deserves better.”
“You deserve better, too,” Ethan said. Caleb flopped back onto the bed, sighing dramatically.
“I just want her to be okay. One of us should be.”
With a surge of bravery, Ethan reached out and touched the back of Caleb’s hand, brushing it gently with the tips of his fingers. “Both of you should be.”
Caleb swallowed so hard that Ethan heard it. Maybe this was a good time, after all.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said. About, umm. Experimenting.”
“And you want to?” Caleb asked.
Ethan hesitated, stroking Caleb’s knuckles. “Only if you want to. I was just thinking… you seem stressed, and upset, and maybe I could take your mind off that for a while.”
Caleb laughed. “That actually wasn’t a bad line.”
“I don’t wanna stress you out more,” Ethan said. “I’d rather help. And I get it if now isn’t a good time.”
“Now is perfect.” Caleb sat up again. “As distractions go, sex is one of my favorites.”
Ethan blushed hotly, looking down at his lap. “I dunno if I’m ready for sex. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I jumped to conclusions.” Caleb cleared his throat. “So, what do you want to do? What are you ready for?”
Ethan shifted a little, suddenly unsure if what he was about to ask for would be too tame for Caleb’s tastes, if he’d lose interest in him right away because he wasn’t even about to ask for so much as a handjob.
“Well, I would like to kiss you again,” Ethan said. He was tempted to leave it there, not tell Caleb the whole truth about what he really wanted, but he’d only regret the missed opportunity later if he didn’t ask now. “But, uh. What I really want is to be your boyfriend for a few days. Just until we go home. If that’s okay.”
The Wedding Date Page 6