by Jamie Beck
She whisks the bottle from me, then lowers her head onto my lap and encircles her arms around my back.
Suddenly I’m no longer thinking about Mama. The weight and warmth of Lindsey’s body affect mine. I want to bury myself in her and make everything else disappear. She’s what I need, like air and water. But I can’t have her; she made that clear the other week.
“Lindsey, please go. I can’t have you here and not have you. I know you’re trying to help, but you’re asking too much from me. Don’t stir up something you can’t finish.”
Instead of pulling away, she looks at me and strokes my thighs. “I want to stay here with you.”
My eyes scan her face. “You’re sure?”
She nods.
The heat in her eyes dissolves my restraint. Before she can rethink her decision, I yank her up against me and claim her mouth with a growl. I’m completely overwhelmed by the softness of her lips, the scent of her skin, and the taste of her.
My breath comes fast and hard. Hers speeds up as well. I lie back onto the bed, bringing her with me. When I loosen the knot of her hair, it falls around her face and I bury my hands into it while eagerly crushing her lips to mine. My hands run along her neck, down her back, and around the curve of her hips and thighs.
Her breath catches, sending shock waves of pleasure through me. Lindsey. My greedy hands and mouth seek every part of her, desperate to make her mine. I’m ravenous for her.
All that matters now is us.
She wants me, too. Every mew, gasp, and moan she utters pushes me closer to the brink. I roll over and she squirms beneath me, her arms hugging me tightly. Desire courses hot and heavy through my body.
I open my eyes. Her hair’s tangled, her lips are swollen from our kisses, and she’s panting and groping for me. The sight of her arousal sends shivers across my skin.
“Lindsey.” Her name rumbles from deep within my chest.
I force myself to slow down, to savor the feel of her and the affection in her eyes while I kiss her—slowly, deeply.
Her hands tremble as she unbuttons my shirt. I can barely breathe when I realize she’s undressing me. Fascinated, I watch her fingers undo each button, her chest rising and falling in anticipation.
She’s surrendering to me, and the realization that I’m about to make love to her nearly knocks me out. I moan and kiss her harder when I feel her touch against my bare skin. I’m torn between the need to take her now and the desire to make this last a lifetime.
Slowly, I unzip the side of her dress. Within a minute, she’s lying beside me, wearing only her frilly underwear. I feast on the sight of her. My hands roam the planes of her waist, her thigh, her breast, and up her neck to her jaw. She’s the most beautiful woman I know, and she’s about to be mine.
Finally.
Raising myself above her, I kiss her neck and then trail my tongue down between her breasts and onto her stomach. She arches her back and threads her hands in my hair. Oh, God, she’s perfect. The slow rise of her spine and each muffled response hurl me closer to heaven.
Her hands fumble with my pants, but soon enough they fall to the floor. When her hand reaches under the elastic of my boxers, I shudder and then notice her smile in response to her own power.
Her playful grin teases me, so I remove her bra and take her breast in my mouth to regain control, to make her submit. My hands are free to fondle the rest of her, after removing her last stitch of clothing. She fists the sheets.
Her restless legs kick as she arches and thrusts her hips forward, seeking more of my fingers and mouth.
“Oh, Levi. Yes . . . yes.”
Jesus, she’s so responsive. I’m shaky from yearning, and afraid I won’t last one minute once I’m inside her. Just the sound of her voice makes me want to explode.
I stroke her skin, memorizing each hollow and slope of her body. Lust rages through me and I press kisses along her thigh. She sucks in her breath and it muddles my brain.
With each caress and nip and tickle, her tension builds. She shifts her hips and rakes her fingers through my hair until I bring her to a shattering orgasm with my mouth.
“God, Levi. Oh, yes!”
The experience breaks open a wholly unfamiliar emotion in my chest. A swelling need to cradle her in my arms overpowers me. I kiss her mouth and fit myself between her legs. When I enter her fully, I can’t breathe for a moment.
With slow, easy thrusts, I move inside the amazingly hot tightness of her body. It’s different from any other sex I’ve had. I don’t only want her body; I want her soul.
I murmur, “Look at me.”
Her topaz eyes dreamily open. Locking my gaze with hers, I relish every movement of my body and hers, joined as one. When I see a tear slip from her eye, I panic.
Does she regret this already?
I freeze. “What’s wrong?”
She smiles. “Nothing.” Her hands curl around my neck and she pulls me into a kiss, but I’m not convinced.
“Why are you crying?” I’m stilled, inside her, brushing her hair from her face.
“Because I’m happy.”
I stare at her for a long moment while a heady pressure builds in my chest. I’m thrilled and terrified at once, possessed by a fierce need to make her mine.
Her legs wrap around my hips, edging me deeper inside. She’s magnificent and intoxicating, and suddenly I’m moving at a frantic pace. Her fingers dig into my back. She releases a guttural moan. I reach my own climax and collapse against her, smothering her neck and face with gentle kisses.
My eyes close. I’m completely and utterly satisfied. I could stay here, holding her, forever.
Sadly, I know reality will come. We’ll leave the sanctity of this room and return to our real lives.
For now, she’s mine. And it’s enough.
Lindsey
I awaken, spooned by Levi’s warm body. It’s five in the morning, but I’ve hardly slept. He’s insatiable. While I’ve never before had sex so frequently in such a short span of time, I won’t complain.
His fingers graze along my breasts and thighs. The damp heat of his breath whispers against my ear until he clamps his mouth against my neck. His erection presses against my hip, then he enters me from behind. The low groan deep within his chest pleasures me. I’m drowsy, yet aroused. He tenderly rocks me into another dizzying orgasm. Each time he exclaims my name in passionate, rasped whispers, shivers trickle up and down my spine.
Sex with Levi’s nothing like I imagined. Knowing his past, I expected an impersonal, purely physical repartee. Surprisingly, he’s been affectionate, emotional, and has kept me wrapped in an embrace throughout the night. Again, I’m not complaining. It’s been an awakening.
I can’t help wondering if he’s like this with other women, or only me. Did the confrontation with his mother affect what’s happened here, or not? Neither of my prior lovers has sent me spinning into ecstasy quite this way.
Whatever comes next, I know my situation with Rob’s forever changed. Even if Levi and I leave everything between us here, in this hotel room, I could never resume my relationship with Rob like this never happened.
Passion, however, isn’t the same as love. Rob claims to love me and to want to spend his life with me. I’d like to be a wife someday, but Rob’s wife? If I return to him, so much would need to change. He might not even be willing, once he learns what I’ve done with Levi.
Frankly, I’m shocked by my own behavior. Yet I’ve never felt more alive and roused. Something’s changed deep within me. I can’t dismiss it and return home to being the dutiful daughter and fiancée, living my old life.
If I return to New York, it will be on new terms. But what about Levi?
Has seeing his mother put ghosts to rest, or will it cause him to bolster his fortress? And what of our intimacy? Considering his penchant for casual sex, I suspect he’ll start to put distance between us when we reach LA. I can’t blame him. He begged me to leave him alone, but I ignored him.
&nbs
p; My concerns abate when I roll toward him and he hugs me against his chest. I’m too tired and content to raise my head to see whether his eyes are open.
“Levi?” I whisper.
“Hmm.” He peppers tiny kisses across the top of my head.
“Are you okay about everything that happened . . . with your mother?” I trace my fingers along his ribs. “Did you get what you came for?”
He captures my hand and kisses it. “I got everything I want from this trip. More than I expected.” Curling his fingers around my hand, he brings both to rest against his chest.
The groundwater of hope feeding my heart bubbles up. Unfortunately, shame revisits me in the form of the memory of my violent reaction to Levi’s mother. No matter what he contends, some small part of him wanted a reconciliation or, at least, a minor show of affection from her. Instead, she laid blame on him for driving her away. My heart aches recalling it. Reflexively, I tighten my hold on Levi.
“I’m glad,” I say, although I don’t believe him.
At six o’clock, we land safely in LA. I recovered a few hours of sleep by napping during the long flight. Now, I’m starving. We’ve hardly eaten anything during the past twenty-four hours. Levi kept me quite preoccupied until we had to catch our flight home.
He’s continued to keep me close all afternoon, rarely releasing my hand. I’m not sure what to expect going forward, and I’m afraid to ask. Jill would advise me to keep my mouth shut and roll with it. For once, I think I’ll follow her lead.
We stop for dinner on our way home from LAX. By the time we return home for the night and I unload the luggage from the car, I’m exhausted. Levi takes hold of my hand and starts walking out of my garage toward his home.
“Levi?” I stop. “What are you doing?”
“Going to bed. I’m beat.” He tugs me into another wonderful kiss. “Come on.”
He tastes yummy, like the red wine and chocolate he enjoyed at dinner. But I’m not staying in his bachelor pad. I push away from him.
“To your house?” I arch one brow. “Uh-uh.”
“Why not?” He frowns. “What’s wrong with my house?”
“Your house is lovely, but I’m not sleeping with you in the bed where you’ve made love to countless women.”
My cheeks color, but I don’t care. I’m not comfortable and I won’t pretend I am.
He casts a seductive smile in my direction.
“I’ve had sex with other women, but I’ve never made love with any woman in that bed . . . yet.”
His words cause my heart rate to climb, but I hold my ground.
“Smoothly played, Levi. But I’m still not sleeping there tonight.” I hug my arms around his neck. “You can stay with me at my house if you’d like.”
“Still bossy.” He searches my eyes, then smiles. “All right, you win.”
Within minutes, we’ve tumbled into my bed, naked. The glass door’s open, allowing the sound of the waves to float through the air. Levi’s husky voice rouses me. His fingers sweep across my skin, drawing ribbons of goose bumps and shivers over my body. His day-old beard lightly abrades my breast before he takes it in his mouth, sending another wave of shudders through me.
My own hands explore the hard muscles of his chest and arms, the silky locks of his hair, and his bare chest. He’s so gorgeous. When we’re together this way, he looks at me almost reverently, reducing me to a quivering mass of Jell-O.
I like being on top, controlling the pace and having a perfect view of him. It makes me feel powerful.
Afterward, I collapse on top of him. We end up entwined with his leg thrown over my hip. I snuggle deeper inside his embrace. Exhaustion lays over me like a heavy blanket.
While drifting to sleep, I realize Levi hasn’t asked about Rob or spoken of the future. He may assume I’ve agreed to his no-strings policy by sleeping with him before clarifying the point. That I won’t share him may send him running. I need to talk to him before I talk to Rob, and I need to talk to Rob soon.
But my head throbs from the lack of sleep and the roller coaster of emotions. I think I’ll put off dealing with it all until tomorrow.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Levi
I can’t keep Lindsey close enough to satisfy me—she’s infused all my senses. To win the pot, I ought to be shrewd, to withhold and wait for her to reveal her hand. But I can’t stop smiling or keep my hands—or any other part of my body—to myself.
Am I falling in love? It’s a disastrous place to be, but my heart won’t give it up. Not yet, anyway.
She yawns and shifts away from me to stretch. Holding her waist, I tuck her back inside my arms, pressing a kiss against the top of her head.
“Go back to sleep, darlin’.” Resting my cheek against her hair, I inhale that captivating grapefruit smell.
She unlocks my arms to escape me, but I grasp her wrist.
“Where’re you going?”
“To run.” She smiles and kisses my nose. “Got to keep the blood pumping.”
I yank her back into bed. “I’ll keep your blood pumping.” Grasping her behind her neck, I steal another kiss.
She grins. “I know, that’s why I need my morning run—for sanity.”
Reluctantly, I release her.
“I’ll be back in forty-five minutes.” She kisses me quickly and then dashes away.
Rolling onto my stomach, I notice two framed photos on her bedside table. In a glass frame, she keeps a photo of herself with her parents. They’re dressed up at some formal social event. Lindsey’s wearing a low-cut, emerald-green gown, her shiny hair framing her face. I imagine escorting her to an affair like that, dancing close, having her on my arm all night. She makes me wish for something I never wanted before, yet now need like air and water.
Pulling my head from the clouds, I return the photo to the table. When I pick up the silver frame, my blood runs cold. Lindsey’s toothy grin and twinkling eyes bestow a loving look, not at me, but at the man beside her in the photo.
It must be Rob. A large diamond ring resides on the hand she’s draped around his shoulder. She beams at him, but he’s looking at the camera—at me. His perfectly shorn black hair and cool-blue eyes warn me that she’s his, not mine.
I set the photo down. The image of his smug face hovers above me, like a heavy weight pinning me to her bed. Why is his photo beside her bed? Damn it to hell. Didn’t she end things with him yet? Jealousy lashes through me, causing my muscles to burn, then go rigid.
Calm down, Levi. Closing my eyes, I draw long, deep breaths. She didn’t attempt to hide it from me, so maybe it’s not important. Maybe she forgot it’s even here. A few minutes later, the suffocating haze lifts. Whatever is or isn’t in her heart, I can’t know unless I ask.
But I won’t ask.
She’ll tell me when she’s ready. Until then, I’ll wage a campaign to make her mine. I’ll make her forget he ever existed.
Heavy footsteps climbing the stairwell startle me. I pop open one eye when she enters the room. On a mission to make love to her, to erase him from her memory and my own, I sit up.
“Come here,” I say gruffly.
“I’m all sweaty,” she protests.
Lunging forward, I catch her hand and pull her into bed. “I like you sweaty.”
I capture her mouth with my own and restrain her arms above her head. She parts her lips and immediately surrenders with a purr in her throat. Despite my impulse to take her quickly, I reel in my desire and commit to long, lazy kisses and caresses. I’ll torment her and tease her until she can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t do anything but beg to be mine. I didn’t count on my plan to drive her wild to also send me over the edge.
“Levi. Please.” Her breathless command is what I’ve been waiting to hear. “Don’t stop.”
I need to know it’s me, not him, she wants. I can only know it if I see her eyes.
“Look at me.”
When our eyes lock, I enter her and swallow her in a kiss.
&nb
sp; “Jesus, Lindsey. What you do to me . . .” I’ve lost control. Consumed with passion, my thrusts rapidly become uneven, convulsive.
“Levi, I lo . . .” she trails off.
Tell me. Tell me you love me. But she doesn’t finish, so I’m unsure of what she’d intended to say.
I lie on top of her, spent and motionless, while her legs stay clamped around my hips and her hands gently sweep up and down my back and along the scar on my spine. If not for that accident, I wouldn’t be here with her now. Funny how something awful can turn around and become wonderful. Could Lindsey be right about destiny?
I drag her with me as I roll on my side and kiss her again. She smiles while touching my face. Real happiness eluded me for most of my life until recently. I wish I could enjoy it without apprehension.
Abruptly, Lindsey props herself up on her elbow. “I need to shower.”
I draw one side of my mouth upward. “Me too.”
“Levi, if we keep up at this pace I won’t be able to walk, much less run.”
“Hm. Well, I can think of a lot of entertaining things we can do that won’t impede your ability to walk.”
“Is that right?” she teases.
I quickly follow her into the shower. “Yep, let me show you.”
I leave Lindsey in the shower and go downstairs to prepare breakfast. While I’m rooting through her refrigerator and cabinets, someone rings the doorbell. Who’s here so early in the morning?
“Lindsey, someone’s at your door,” I call up to her.
“Can you get it? I’m not finished dressing.”
The doorbell rings again just before I unlock and open the door. The ground beneath me shifts when I come face-to-face with the man in the photo by Lindsey’s bed. He stands on her doorstep, with red roses in hand, staring at me with cool-blue eyes.
Rob steps back to match the address on the door with the one on the piece of paper in his hand.
Did she invite him? My defensive instincts take over and I hide my change of thoughts.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m sorry. Perhaps I have the wrong address.” Rob’s face colors, but he remains calm. “I’m looking for Lindsey Hilliard.”