Fragile Chaos

by Amber R. Duell

  “You mean that he was set up?” Goran asks. “Or that he’s still alive?”

  I let out a long breath. “Both.”

  He nods.

  I swipe a hand through my hair and pick the dried blood off the already healed cut on my lip. “We have to get back. I can’t wait for Ebris anymore. It’s too dangerous to let things continue unchecked.”

  “Finally.” Goran’s shoulders sag in relief. “And we’ll keep looking for Timun.”

  “We will,” I agree. “But we’ll need to get someone else down here in the meantime.”

  “I’ll bring someone down at first light.”

  We step into the middle of the destroyed temple, over broken stone and dried leaves, and I grab Goran’s wrist. The world shifts under our feet as we hurdle home.

  My brain can’t process any more numbers. Not yet. Maybe after some fresh air and a change of scenery. Maybe. Searching for something useful in these books seems more futile by the minute, and the book Theo gave only creates more questions. At least the myths are interesting. I hug it to my chest as I step out the front door on my way to give rock skipping another shot.

  I come up short before the door closes behind me. Goran drags his feet through the courtyard, gravel dust circling his brown boots with each step. A black hat sits cockeyed on his head, tufts of blond hair sneaking out from the edges, and mud is splattered halfway up his jeans. I’ve never seen him ruffled before, let alone grumpy. I want to look away but I’m drawn to him the same way I would be to a car accident. As he gets closer, I notice dried blood flaking in one of his eyebrows.

  “What happened to you?” I ask, stepping off the stoop.

  His laugh is tired as he rubs his face. Theo’s ring hugs his thumb. “Rough night,” he says.

  “Apparently.” I smirk. It’s possible I’m enjoying his discomfort a little. “Theo working you hard, is he?”

  He levels his gaze at me. “Cassia, about the book—”

  “So that was you.” I never actually suspected anyone else, but with the amount of work done in my bedroom, a dozen people had to have come in and out, including Astra. “Mind telling me exactly what’s so interesting before my brain melts?”

  “I need to know.” He steps close enough that I hear his breath rattle in his chest. “I’m sorry to ask, but it’s important. Why are you reading through the archives?”

  My face falls, my thoughts scrambling. Crap. I can’t answer that; he’ll take whatever I say straight back to Theo. I’m not sure what the reaction would be, but I imagine it won’t be good. If there was another way out that Theo wanted me to know about, he would’ve offered it to me already. Call me crazy for not taking their word on it. They can’t suspect I’m trying to find a way to weasel out of an untimely death until I know for sure there is one. “Nothing. I’m curious,” I say.

  “No one is curious about the archives.” He pulls his brows together. “No one.”

  “I am.”

  He lowers his chin, his lips pressed in a tight line. “Did someone put you up to this?”

  Warning bells chime in the back of my mind. I knew he was too observant for my own good. “Put me up to what?”

  “Are you trying to sabotage Theodric?”

  I snort. “Are you crazy?”

  “If you are…” He licks his lips. “If you are, I unwittingly helped the moment I left that book under your pillow.”

  My stomach hardens. I can’t believe he would think that when, for the most part, I’ve minded my own business. Is it because I brought up the war at the waterfall? My anger got away from me one time, and, even then, I wasn’t asking Theo to do anything about it. He’s the only reason I’m alive. Doing something to him might affect me if we’re connected. For all my reading, I still don’t know how this works. Besides, even if I wanted to sabotage him, I wouldn’t have the first clue how to go about it.

  I step away from Goran to regain my personal space and fix him with a stare. “Are you serious? What do you think I’m going to do, blackmail him into saving the world with inventories?”

  He squints. “I don’t know. Are you?”

  “No,” I almost shout. “Goran, what are you talking about? Did you hit your head this morning?”

  He closes the gap between us again. “Whatever it is you’re looking for, tell me or the next person to ask will be Theodric.”

  He can’t mean that. Goran wouldn’t sick Theo on me for reading those books. If looking at them was an issue, he should have said something when he caught me red-handed in the kitchen. Instead, he told me I was welcome to them.

  When I stay quiet, he shakes his head. “Fine. I tried.”

  “Wait.” The fabric of his sleeve is damp beneath my grasp. I don’t want either of them to know, but if I have to choose one over the other, Theo loses. “I’m not doing anything wrong.”

  “No?”

  “I’m trying to find another option for myself.” My voice cracks. I let go of him to rub my forehead, and he makes a small, unconvinced sound. “I swear. I mean, it’s nice here and all, but I’m not confident I’ll survive the wrath of the War God. There has to be another way out of this. If Theo decides to send me packing, I’d rather my destination not be the Netherworld, so I need to be ready to negotiate.”

  Goran stares at me, then slowly his features relax and he steps back.

  “Speaking of books,” I say when he says nothing. I hold the cover out so the foil sun reflects in his face. “How much of this is true?”

  He brings a hand up to shield against the glare. “Where did you get that?”

  “Theo.” When he doesn’t say anything again, I wave it side to side. “So?”

  He clears his throat. “I’m not sure. I haven’t read it. Maybe half?”

  Half? Which half? Half of it is the straight truth or it’s all lies inspired by the truth? “What about Oskar?” I ask.

  “Oskar?”

  “He pushed the pearl.”

  “Oh. Him.” He squeezes his eyes shut and rubs at the corners. “We never met. He only lasted a few years.”

  An invisible hand squeezes my chest. That has to be a drop in the bucket to them. Theo may appear to be seventeen, but he’s thousands of years old in my world. Does that mean Oskar lasted a day? A week? Did Brisa kill him instead of kissing him at the end of the story? Or does Goran mean a few years here? The questions swirl through my mind until my pulse leaves me breathless.

  “What happened to him?” I ask.

  “He was ready to move on.” Goran shrugs. I can’t read his expression. Pity, maybe. His mouth opens, but footsteps crunching on the gravel slam it shut again.

  “Hello.” Astra’s voice travels across the courtyard. She makes her way under the arch, her hair swaying in a high ponytail, Cy close behind. Finally. It’s been less than forty-eight hours since she redecorated for me, but it feels like a lifetime.

  “Perfect,” Goran groans.

  Perfect, indeed.

  Goran starts to turn away and fear burns through me like a hot poker. “You’re not going to tell Theo, are you?” I whisper. “I promise I’m only looking for answers.”

  “I won’t, but you’re wasting your time.” He turns to smile at Astra and Cy. “Theodric is busy today. Is this important?”

  “I’m not here for my brother,” Astra says in her sing-song voice. “I came to see Cassia.”

  Goran gives a terse nod, shoots me a final look, and continues on his original path into the mansion. I shake away the weight of his final words and give Astra a bright smile. I almost mean it, but seeing Cy in my peripheral vision draws my thoughts down a darker path. Later, I promise myself. I’ll corner him later. First, I have to play nice so Astra doesn’t suspect I’m up to anything like Goran did.

  “What happened to him?” she asks, eying the front door as it closes behind Goran.

  “I think he’s having a bad hair day,” I say.

  I laugh. She laughs. Cy does not. I shoot him a sweet smile and he scowls, wariness
written in his features. He should be nervous. I hope he’s ready for an interrogation of epic proportions.

  Astra loops her arm through mine as we circle back around the perimeter of Theo’s realm. Uncomfortable heat seeps through the thin fabric of her sleeve, but I force myself not to pull away. Gods must run warm—Theo has been the same—so I may as well get used to it. But sweat still beads on my skin.

  My nerves spark as we walk too close to the edge. Solid ground simply ends, giving way to infinite fluffy white clouds. They never float up past the lip of grass and stone, as if they’re merely a new substance to walk on, but all I imagine is Astra losing her balance and pulling us both over.

  When I catch a glimpse of Cy from the corner of my eye, he’s walking a good five feet from the precipice. He’s trailed us the whole time, far enough away not to intrude yet close enough to hear every word. His presence is a heavy weight on my back, but I welcome it. It keeps me from having to look over my shoulder to make sure he hasn’t scurried off.

  It’s been nearly an hour, and I’m not sure how much longer I can take the idle chatter. At least I’m not expected to do much in the way of reply. A question here, a comment there, and she keeps going. She’s told me about each item in the bedroom, the fit Theo had when she showed up with it all, and gave a play-by-play of the work. I tune her out somewhere between curtain rods and carpet padding, focusing instead on how I’m going to get Cy alone.

  “Cassia.” Astra stops walking and guides my shoulders to face her. “There’s something I feel you should know. It’s rather shocking, so you’ll have to agree not to do anything rash.”

  Cy takes a step closer then hesitates. Astra doesn’t look in his direction, but I do. His face is stony. His head tilts forward like an invisible force is keeping him from charging. If he doesn’t want me to hear what the goddess has to say, it’s bound to be good. A breakthrough, even. I lean toward Astra and give her my full attention.

  “I won’t,” I promise.

  “It’s your brother,” she says. “Oren Stavros is alive.”

  Pain tears through me, tiny shards shredding muscle and bone alike. I clutch at the fabric over my heart. She can’t mean that. Surely she’s confusing him with someone else because that’s impossible. I visited Oren in prison. I heard the judge read his sentence in the courtroom. His ashes sat in an urn on our mantle. There’s no way he escaped death. None.

  “No. My brother was hung for treason,” I whisper.

  “He wasn’t.” Astra takes my face between her hands. Her fingers smooth over my cheekbones. The heat is there but I barely feel the touch. Her glossy lips move again, but it’s hard to hear her over the nest of hornets buzzing through my head.

  “What?” I squeeze my eyes shut until the droning fades. “I don’t understand.”

  “Your brother was taken to a prison camp in Volkana after they raided the Kisken prison. Your government let the country think his sentence was carried out to avoid paranoia and riots,” she says carefully.

  My stomach lurches. That can’t be true. It’s too big a thing to cover up. Volkana has no problem rubbing their victories in our faces. They enjoy taking credit where it’s due. Besides, why would they want Oren? It doesn’t make sense.

  “No, he’s dead,” I insist.

  “Love, he’s not.” Her expression softens, glossing over with pity. “I would never hurt you with a lie like that.”

  It’s all I can do to stay on my feet. Oren’s alive. He’s been alive this whole time, suffering and alone, as a Volk prisoner. A thought slams to the front of my mind, and I suck in air like I’m drowning. Astra can’t be the only one to know who my family is. “Does Theo know?”

  “Of course.” She pauses. “I’m sure he planned to tell you.”

  Doubtful.

  “Perhaps after the war,” she adds.

  Possible.

  He knew. This whole time he knew Oren was alive. Volkana isn’t like Asgya. They don’t treat their enemies like human beings. When the war is over, only a handful make it out of the country, just enough to avoid war crime accusations. The odds my brother would be one of them are slim to none, especially since they wanted him badly enough to kidnap him from solitary confinement in a maximum security prison And then lie about it.

  “How do I save him?” I breathe. “Theo will help if I ask, right?”

  She releases my face, taking my hands instead. “You can ask him.”

  The doubt in her voice makes my head spin. “But you don’t think he will.”

  She shakes her head slowly. Oren’s wide smile floats to the surface of my mind. What does he look like now? Are his ribs showing from hunger? Is he in one piece?

  “Theodric doesn’t want to give up his control, and I have a feeling your brother is important to Volkana,” Astra says. “He knows classified information and could be used as leverage.”

  “Leverage over who? My country is as good as gone, and the people left think he’s dead.” My voice strains. “Theo said…he said it’s my right as a sacrifice to…”

  “He owes you nothing if he hasn’t accepted you as a bride,” she says.

  Tears brim, casting me into a quivering landscape. I focus on the next thing that might save Oren to keep them from falling. “What does that mean? If he accepts me, he’ll have to help? He won’t have a choice? I thought he already accepted me when he didn’t kill me in the temple.”

  Astra nods. “After things are consummated, he’ll be obligated to help all of Kisk, including displaced Kiskens like your brother.”

  “Whoa.” It feels as if someone rammed a two-by-four into my gut. I fight against the nausea and pull in shallow breaths. “That’s not…I can’t…You mean consummate consummate?” My face blazes with embarrassment at the thought. “No. Absolutely not.”

  “Would it be so bad?” she asks. “The two of you have a connection.”

  Of course it would be bad. Theo and I have barely had a real conversation. There’s no way I’m sleeping with him. Not that he’s interested. Not that I’m interested. I love my brother, but what she’s implying…That I prostitute myself…There has to be a way that leaves me with my self-respect. “I can’t,” I say again. “What are my other options?”

  Her red lips crack and she falters. “If your brother survives the war, you’ll need a plan to prove his innocence. Even if you do, he’s still likely to be targeted.”

  “Prove his innocence?” My voice is a high squeak. “You’re telling me he didn’t betray Kisk in the first place? But he was convicted by the High Court.”

  “No.” She looks out over the floor of clouds. “He was doing what his superiors told him to do. There was a secret deal between Kisk and Asgya. Volkana was becoming too powerful on Asgyan soil. The Asgyans needed help. When Volkana found out, they twisted the truth and presented it to the Kisken people in a way that made Volkana look like the victim. Your government could have refuted it, but all evidence was conveniently lost.”

  My hands tremble. I’m not completely sure who I’m angrier with. Asgya for dragging us into their problems? Volkana for stealing Oren away? Or Kisk for purposely ruining my entire family? All of it in equal measure. And Theo. He did this. This has to be one of the scenarios he talked about, but I can’t do anything from here. I need Theo to fix this. To fix everything: Kisk, Kiskens, my family’s reputation. I can’t do it alone.

  “Theo will help,” I say. Deep down I know it’s a lie. He won’t. I know he won’t.

  Astra exhales before pulling me into an embrace. “He won’t take it well, so I’ll ask on your behalf. I won’t let on you know, in case it puts you in danger.”

  Puts me in danger. She’s right. This could make him think I have stock in the war when I didn’t before. He will think it because it’s the truth. I return the hug with numb arms. “Will you?”

  “Of course.” She steps back and plants a light kiss on my cheek. “We’re practically sisters.”

  I flinch, but if she notices she doesn’t say a
nything. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll go now. Wait a few minutes and Cy will walk you back.”

  Then she walks away, her ponytail swinging with each step. I stagger without her presence to ground me, but Cy suddenly materializes. I forgot he was with us. He eases me down onto the grass, far away from the looming edge. My vision tunnels to his face, and I dig my fingernails into his flesh until he’s kneeling beside me.

  “I was going to tell you last time,” he says.

  Bull. He wasn’t going to tell me anything except that cryptic beware. If Astra hadn’t interrupted us when she did, he likely would have talked a few more circles. And a lot of good his warning did to prepare me for this bombshell. Even if he had told me while we were standing in Theo’s entryway, I wouldn’t have believed it without the specifics Astra gave.

  “Be careful what you do with this information,” he warns.

  “What does that mean?” I snap.

  He bristles. “It means keep your secrets close and don’t do anything stupid.”

  “And what exactly would be the stupid thing to do here? Hmm?”

  He takes a deep breath. “Not everyone here wants the same thing. It’s hard to know when you’re being manipulated, but sometimes it’s obvious for other people. You don’t want to end up as someone’s tool, especially not a god’s.”

  That I believe. The question is who he thinks is manipulating me—Theo or Astra. Maybe it’s him. Truth scrambles with fantasy and I can’t tell the difference. I can’t think. I can barely hear around the receding hum in my head.

  “If Theodric wanted your brother out of that camp, he would be out already,” Cy says. “If you ask for help, he’s going to think you’re here to control the outcome of the war.”

  I know! I flinch away from him. “If I can’t ask and I won’t seduce him, what should I do? How can I leave my brother there to be tortured to death? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”