Our Little Secret

by Ashelyn Drake

  Chapter Five

  When seven o’clock rolls around, I still don’t know what to make of Toby’s detention appearance. Why was he there if he didn’t really have detention? And what was with the story about getting caught skipping class? Nothing makes sense to me. Because if those things weren’t true, then the only reason he showed up in detention was to talk to me. And that confuses me more than anything else.

  “Why have you been so quiet tonight?” Tori asks, polishing her last fingernail.

  “Have I?”

  She looks up at me. “Something wrong?”

  “I had a weird day.”

  “Again?” She blows on her nails.

  “Yeah. Mr. Rollar was strange in class today. He gave me a hard time and then tried to tell me it was because he thought I wasn’t really trying to improve my grade.”

  “Toby’s tutoring didn’t help any, huh?”

  “No, it did. A lot. Mr. Rollar was impressed. He said he can see I’m really trying now.”

  “So, he gave you a hard time and then you made him eat his words, basically?”

  “I guess.”

  “Nice.” She waves her hands in front of her. Her nail drying ritual might be effective, but it looks ridiculous. “But you know he’s going to hate you if you keep making him look stupid in front of the class.”

  “Not if he learns to stop picking on me.” I smile.

  “That’s my girl. I’m rubbing off on you.”

  “Maybe a little.” I laugh.

  “You’re going to be late for your tutoring session.” Tori waves her hands in the direction of the clock on the nightstand.

  Why am I putting off going to Toby’s room? It’s not like me, but his strange behavior has me questioning everything. “Yeah, I guess I should go.”

  “And tell Toby we’re going to have to swap phones soon. I’m still getting bombarded with calls. Only this time they’re from Meredith.”

  “Meredith? But she has Toby’s number.”

  “How do you know?” Tori arches a brow.

  “She called last night while he was tutoring me.”

  “Then tell him to make sure she doesn’t call me anymore.” Her tone is anything but friendly.

  “Geesh, Tori.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to take my anger out on you. It’s bad enough you have to spend time with my brother. You don’t need to get involved with his many girlfriends.”

  “They aren’t his girlfriends. More like stalkers.”

  “Yeah, as if he doesn’t love the attention. Don’t let him fool you. It’s always been like this. Just because he’s my brother doesn’t mean you have to like him or defend him.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing.”

  “Good. Because last time I checked, we’re best friends. Toby has his own friends to stick up for him.”

  “Right.” I don’t want to get into an argument over Toby, so I grab my stuff. “See you later.”

  “Go get all smart and stuff.”

  I walk to Toby’s room and knock on the door. Something feels off. He didn’t come get me like he did yesterday, and he has music playing. Maybe he changed his mind about tutoring me tonight. I knock again, and this time he answers. In his boxers. Holy hell!

  “Oh.” He laughs and looks down at his underwear. “Oops. Come on in. I’ll put on some clothes.”

  I hesitate in the hallway. The image of his bare chest is burned into my eyelids. Yes, I’ll be having good dreams tonight. But this isn’t a dream right now, and I’m not sure what to do. If he wasn’t off limits, I’d be in his room already, but I can’t act on anything I’m feeling.

  “I’ll give you a minute.”

  He steps behind his door and a minute later he’s back, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. “Sorry about that. I guess I lost track of time.”

  “If you’re busy—”

  He reaches for my arm and pulls me into his room. “So, still unit seven?”

  “Yeah, just a new section. I think I might understand some of it.”

  “Good. Mr. Rollar said you did well in class today.”

  “Was my tutor checking up on me?” Damn, I’m flirting. That needs to stop. Immediately.

  He laughs. “Just making sure you’re getting your money’s worth.”

  “You want me to pay you? Oh. I didn’t even think—”

  He puts his hand on my arm. “Relax. I was joking.”

  “Oh. Right.” I turn away, my cheeks on fire.

  “All right, before we get into your trig work, you have to tell me what’s got you so jumpy.” He closes the door and sits down on the bed, motioning for me to join him. His room is neater today. The bed is fully made, his closet is closed, and the bookshelf is dusted.

  I sit down, letting my bag fall to the floor. “What was up with detention? First you show up and tell me you got in trouble for cutting class. Then you leave and say you never had detention.”

  He laughs. “I did get caught in the hall without a pass, but I was sent on an errand for Mrs. Engleberg, so I didn’t get busted for it.”

  “Then why did you make me think you had?”

  “I didn’t want you to feel bad about getting detention. It really isn’t a big deal.”

  “So you keep telling me.”

  “Look, I thought if I was there too, you wouldn’t feel so bad about it.”

  “But you didn’t have detention.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “And why did you leave so suddenly?”

  “I remembered I was supposed to meet Meredith.”

  “Oh.” I can’t keep up with those two. Are they together or are they not? And if he’s into her then why go to detention to see me? I couldn’t be more confused right now.

  “It’s not like that. Remember how she called yesterday?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, she asked me to help her with her lab. She couldn’t figure it out, and she was absent the day the rest of the class did it.”

  “So you were tutoring her?” He said he never tutored anyone else.

  “No. We’re lab partners. I already did that lab the day she was absent. I told her I’d meet her in the lab and help her after school.” He shrugs one shoulder. “Only I sort of forgot until detention was halfway over.”

  “I’m sure she wasn’t happy.”

  His eyes widen, and he smiles. “No, she wasn’t. But it made it easier to tell her what I needed to.”

  Did he set her straight? Tell her he’s not interested in her? “Well, I’m glad things worked out then.”

  “You’re not going to ask me, are you?”

  “Ask you what?”

  “What I had to tell Meredith.”

  “No. Why would I?”

  “Because you want to know. I can see it in your eyes.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat. “It’s none of my business.”

  “Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.” He fidgets with his hands in his lap. “I told Meredith that I’m not interested in her like that. And that I like someone else.”

  I can’t help wondering if he’s telling me this so I know he likes someone else. Kill two birds with one stone and all that. “I feel sorry for the girl. Meredith is going to be gunning for her.”

  “I’ll make sure she doesn’t.” He smiles, but I’m in no mood to return it. My stupid heart is crushed. I shouldn’t have let my feelings get this intense. It’s my own fault. Toby liking someone else is for the best. I couldn’t ever date him anyway. Tori wouldn’t allow it. But I still want to curl into a ball and cry my eyes out.

  “So, maybe I should do a few problems and you can check them for me.” I pull my trig book from my bag and open it to the homework.

  “Okay.” He takes the book and slides closer so I can see it while figuring out the problem in my notebook.

  I work quickly, hoping to end this disaster of a tutoring session as soon as possible. “How’s that?” I hand him my notebook without meeting his eyes.

  He loo
ks it over. “You were good until here. Watch.” He takes the pencil from my hand, brushing his fingers across mine, and erases some of my work. I have to keep the physical contact to a minimum if I’m ever going to get over him. He explains what I did wrong, and I try the next problem, following his example. “Much better. Keep going.”

  I finish the page, and he checks my answers. I only have to fix two of them, and considering my brain and heart are both piles of mush right now, I think that’s pretty good. “Great. Thanks.” I shove my books in my bag and stand up.

  “Is there a fire I don’t know about?” He stands.

  “I promised my parents I’d be home early. They want to spend some quality family time together.”

  “Oh.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Well, have fun.”

  I nod and walk out. I don’t want to stop in Tori’s room. She’ll spot the disappointment on my face in seconds, so I run downstairs and text her from the car.

  Becca: Had to run. Call you later.

  Tori: Couldn’t even say good-bye. I see how it is.

  Becca: Sorry.

  I put the phone away and drive home, wanting to get as far from Toby as possible. I’d say my crush is officially done now.

  ***

  I don’t want to be a liar, so I watch TV with Mom and Dad before going up to my room for the night. I slip into my fleece pajamas and get into bed. I promised Tori I’d call her, and if I don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it. Forget that I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I pick up my cell, but before I can dial, I get a text.

  Unknown: Everything ok? You seemed weird 2night.

  I don’t recognize the number.

  Becca: Who is this?

  Unknown: It’s Toby. Got ur number from Tori’s phone. Hope you don’t mind.

  Toby is texting me? Why? He just told me he likes another girl.

  Becca: I’m fine.

  I don’t hear anything for a minute. Maybe that’s the end of it. He just wanted to make sure I’m okay. He must know I have a crush on him and the guilt of letting me down, even if it was gently, is too much for him so he checked up on me.

  Toby: Don’t worry about trig. You’ll do great.

  Becca: Thanks.

  It’s probably best to keep my responses short. Don’t let him know my heart is in a million pieces.

  Toby: I’m glad you didn’t let Tori make you over.

  What made him think about that?

  Becca: Thanks for being honest.

  He can take that however he likes. I can’t blame him for how I feel. He’s been upfront with me—other than the detention lie—but he was only trying to make me feel better, so I can’t be too mad at him for that.

  Toby: I meant it.

  God, I want this conversation to end! I don’t want to hear about his new girl, whoever she is. I don’t reply, hoping he’ll get the hint.

  Toby: I really do like the way you dress.

  What? I thought he was talking about what he said in his room.

  Becca: Thanks.

  Toby: Wow, you’re talkative tonight.

  Becca: Sorry. Tired.

  Toby: Want me to let you go?

  Yes. No. I don’t know.

  Becca: It’s ok.

  Toby: Good.

  Good?

  Becca: Did you just want to check up on me?

  Toby: Yes and no.

  Becca: What does that mean?

  Toby: Yes, but that’s not all.

  Okay, now he’s the one with the vague answers.

  Becca: What else?

  Toby: Probably shouldn’t say.

  Becca: Then why did you bring it up?

  Toby: Touché.

  Becca: I’m waiting.

  And I’m totally confused.

  Toby: I was wondering if you wanted to hang out 2morrow.

  Becca: You mean study?

  Toby: No. Unless that’s what you want.

  He’s never asked me to hang out before, and what about the girl he likes?

  Becca: What were you thinking?

  Toby: Something Tori would hate.

  Becca: Why?

  Toby: She wouldn’t like us hanging out.

  Becca: Right.

  Are we friends now? Is that what’s going on? God, there are so many questions and no answers at all.

  Toby: I’ll think of something. Just come up with an excuse for why you can’t hang out with Tori.

  Becca: You want me to lie to her?

  Toby: Only if you want to hang out with me.

  Of course I do, but I don’t want to lie to Tori.

  Becca: Make it something she’d never want to do, so I won’t have to lie.

  Toby: You got it. Night.

  Becca: Night.

  Do I have a date with Toby tomorrow? A real date?

  Chapter Six

  After I ace another trig class—well, I’m able to keep up at least—I’m ready for whatever Toby has planned. Except I’m nervous, confused, and feeling like the worst best friend ever. Not only am I hanging out with Toby behind Tori’s back, but I never called her last night and I’ve been avoiding her all day. I’m lugging around the entire contents of my locker just so she can’t corner me, and I even skipped lunch.

  I take the back way out of school and rush to my car. Only Tori’s leaning against the driver’s side door.

  “Where have you been?” She stands up and gestures wildly. “I’ve been looking for you all day, and why is your cell turned off?”

  So you can’t get a hold of me. “Sorry, the battery must be dead.”

  “Yeah, well, that doesn’t explain the disappearing act you pulled today. You didn’t go to your locker once.”

  No, I went once, about forty minutes before school started when no one else was around. “I had a busy day.”

  “Doing what?” She adjusts her shoulder bag and crosses her arms. I’m so on her list right now.

  “Um, make-up stuff for trig. Toby’s tutoring is helping, but I needed to go back a few units and catch up.”

  “Well, don’t ever scare me like that again. I thought you’d been kidnapped or something. I almost called your mom.” She’s being overly dramatic, but I know it’s only because she was worried about me. “You’re coming over, right?”

  Damn it! I turned my phone off, which means I never got Toby’s text telling me what we’re doing. I don’t want to lie again to Tori. “Hang on a second.” I pull my cell out and turn it on.

  “I thought the battery was dead.”

  “It is, but sometimes I can get it to turn on for a few seconds. I’m expecting a text.”

  “Yeah, well you’ve got about ten from me.”

  She’s right. I scroll through them, looking for Toby’s. It’s buried at the bottom of the list.

  Toby: Bowling. Tori hates it. Thinks bowling alleys give you diseases. 3:45

  I haven’t bowled since I was nine. But it’s time with Toby, so I’m not complaining. “I have plans to go bowling.”

  Tori’s eyes widen. “Bowling? With who?”

  Crap. So much for not lying to her. “Dad says he wants me to join a school team. He used to bowl, so…” At least that’s true. Although I have no intention of joining the bowling team. “Want to come?” I hope Toby’s right about Tori hating bowling alleys.

  “Not in this lifetime. You’re on your own. Feel free to stop by later though—after you’ve showered all the germs and nasty diseases off you from the rented shoes and dirty—” She shivers. “Ugh, I can’t even think about it. See you later.” She waves and walks away.

  I get in the car and text Toby.

  Becca: Which bowling alley?

  It feels like an eternity before he texts back.

  Toby: Thought you’d bailed on me.

  Becca: No. My phone was off.

  Toby: Avoiding my sister?

  Becca: Yes. I hate lying to her.

  Toby: You’re not. You’re withholding information.

  Becca: Same thing.

&
nbsp; Toby: Technically not.

  Even though he can’t see me, I roll my eyes.

  Becca: Which bowling alley?

  Toby: The one on 1st and Elm.

  The really skeezy part of town.

  Becca: Classy.

  Toby: You want to risk Tori’s friends being there?

  Becca: No. See you soon.

  I still have no idea what this even is. Maybe it’s completely harmless. Maybe it’s somehow a trig lesson. No, that’s just stupid. Something’s up. I’m not sure what, but I’ll find out.

  I drive to the bowling alley and park around back so no one sees my car if they drive by. As soon as I walk inside, I see Tori’s point about bowling alleys. When you’re little, you don’t really notice how disgusting these places are. But at seventeen, it’s clear as day. Cigarette butts are all over the entrance carpet, which is completely worn and looks like it hasn’t been vacuumed in a decade. A shady guy eyes me up and walks toward me, but an arm pulls me toward the shoe rental counter.

  “There you are.” Toby smiles at me. “You’ve got to be careful who you make eye contact with in this part of town.”