Our Little Secret

by Ashelyn Drake

  I stay in all weekend. Mom thinks I’m really sick and makes me her famous chicken noodle soup, so it’s not all bad. And Sunday night, I finally get a text from Toby.

  Toby: You’re not really sick, are you?

  Becca: No.

  Toby: Good. Study date tomorrow night?

  I’m going to have to purposely start messing up in trig or Tori is going to wonder why I keep working with Toby. He’s such an awesome tutor that I actually understand what I’m doing now.

  Becca: Sure.

  Toby: Everything ok?

  Becca: Yeah.

  Toby: Want to meet me for ice cream?

  Becca: Now?

  Toby: Why not?

  I look at the clock. A little after nine.

  Becca: Where?

  Toby: You know the stand on Mountain View?

  Becca: Is it open yet?

  I can’t remember when they open for the season.

  Toby: Opening weekend.

  Becca: See you there.

  I check my hair in the mirror and grab my keys. Dad’s asleep in his recliner with the TV blaring, but Mom is drinking tea and reading a book.

  “Where are you off to?”

  “Going to get ice cream.”

  “I guess you’re feeling better?”

  “Yeah. Two days of rest worked wonders. You want me to bring you back anything?”

  “No. I’m calling it a night soon. Don’t stay out too late, okay? And tell Tori I say hello.”

  “Night, Mom.” I give her a quick kiss and leave before she corners me in a lie.

  I drive to Mountain View and pull up to the ice cream stand. It doesn’t even have a name, which I find really funny. Mom says some guy who grew up here a long time ago opened the stand and even though it’s changed owners a few times, no one bothered to name the place. That’s Lansfield for you.

  Toby is sitting in his Accord with two cones in his hand. He motions for me to join him, so I walk over and get in the passenger side.

  “You hungry?” I ask him.

  He hands me a cone. “Vanilla and chocolate swirl with rainbow sprinkles. Did I get it right?”

  I nod. “I’m impressed.”

  “Don’t be. Just because we never really hung out together doesn’t mean I haven’t known you all my life.”

  “Still, it’s nice that you cared enough to notice.”

  “You’re starting to drip.” He points to the side of my cone, and I quickly lick the ice cream before it gets all over his car.

  “Let me apologize now for getting sprinkles everywhere,” I say.

  “Don’t sweat it. I’m doing the same.”

  “Chocolate sprinkles, huh?”

  “Stick with me and I’ll convert you. Rainbow’s got nothing on chocolate.”

  I laugh. “I beg to differ. They make your tongue rainbow colors.” I stick out my tongue.

  He smiles. “Touché.”

  “You like that word, don’t you?”

  “Maybe a little.” He laughs. “Mom swears I used to pronounce it tushy when I was little. She thought it was adorable so she didn’t bother correcting me until some little girl told her mom I said something about her ass.”

  I giggle, choking on sprinkles.

  “You okay?” He sits up and pats me on the back.

  “Fine. Sprinkles got me.”

  “Chocolate ones don’t do that.” He raises his eyebrow and licks his ice cream.

  “No, only the rainbow ones are deadly.” I shake my head, feeling more at ease around him.

  “I thought I was going to have to give you mouth-to-mouth.”

  I wouldn’t have objected. “Better luck next time.”

  “Ooh, the real Becca Daniels came out to play tonight.”

  “What are you saying? You don’t like the way I normally act?”

  “Not saying that at all. I’m just glad you’re loosening up around me.”

  I polish off the last of the sprinkles. “It’s easier to relax when Tori isn’t down the hall.”

  “I agree.”

  We finish our ice cream in silence. Not awkward silence, though. It’s peaceful. We’re enjoying each other’s company.

  When I finish, he cocks an eyebrow at me. “You’re not eating your cone?”

  “I never do. The ice cream and sprinkles are the best part. Why fill up on a cone?”

  He reaches over and takes it from me. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go running out on me.”

  “I wouldn’t think of it.”

  He dumps my cone, and his, in the garbage and heads back to the car. “It’s cold out there tonight.”

  “It’s not even officially spring yet and you just ate ice cream.”

  “Right.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be some super genius.” I nudge him with my elbow.

  “Certain things cloud my judgment.”

  “Oh? Like?”

  “Hot girls sitting in my car.”

  “Are you hiding them in the back seat?” I turn around, pretending to look.

  “What has gotten into you tonight?”

  I have no idea. “I guess I feel like I can be myself around you now.”

  “Why?”

  I shrug, not feeling quite so confident anymore. “Because I know my crush isn’t so one-sided.”

  “It’s definitely not.” He brushes his fingers across my cheek before cupping my face and pulling me toward him. His lips press against mine, lingering there. It’s not the heart-stopping kiss we had in his bedroom, but it still gives me chills. When he pulls away, it takes me a minute to catch my breath.

  “I have to tell you something,” he says.

  “No good conversation ever started with those words.”

  He sighs. “Tori told me a long time ago that she doesn’t want me dating her friends.” Are we dating now? “She even made me promise.”

  “Oh.” Well, that’s not good at all. Not only am I going behind her back by dating Toby, but he’s breaking his promise to her. “So, what are we supposed to do now?”

  He leans forward and kisses me again, deeper this time. It’s not a solution to our problem, but for now, I push all other thoughts aside. He finally pulls away and stares into my eyes. “You know what?”

  “What?”

  “Rainbow sprinkles do taste better.”

  Chapter Ten

  Tori leans against the lockers, tilting her head back and closing her eyes.

  “Sleepy this morning?”

  She turns to me. “What are you so Suzie Sunshine about?”

  Last night I promised myself that no matter what happens, I’m going to enjoy my time with Toby. We decided to wait and see if this turns into anything serious before we talk to Tori. If we’re crazy about each other, she’ll see that and have to approve of us dating. And if things don’t work out between Toby and me…well, I’m trying not to think of that possibility.

  “I had a long, restful weekend.”

  “A long, restful weekend?” She scoffs. “You’ve been spending too much time at home with your parents. You even sound like them.”

  “Sorry. I’ll try to dumb it down.” I laugh, which gets me another look from Tori. “Why is it a bad thing that I’m in a good mood?”

  “It’s not, but after the morning I had with Toby, I can’t take any more smiling faces.”

  “What do you mean?” Was Toby acting strange this morning?

  “Ugh, he woke up in this uber good mood. He even hugged me. Hugged me. I can’t remember the last time he did that without my mom telling him to. It was gross.”

  “He isn’t gross.” I catch myself before I say too much. “I think it’s nice you two are getting along. I felt weird at breakfast, watching you guys fight.”

  “What makes you think siblings are supposed to get along, anyway? You have nothing to base that on. You’re an only child.”

  I’m not letting her ruin my mood. “Forget it, okay? Take a nap in study hall. You’ll feel better.”

 
; “Oh look, here comes my brother and the wart that won’t go away.”

  I follow her gaze. Toby is walking down the hall and Meredith has her arm looped through his, as usual. I shouldn’t be jealous. I know he doesn’t like her that way. He likes me. But I can’t help wanting to douse the girl with Compound W and then rip her hair out.

  “Let’s go,” I say, not wanting to be here when they walk by.

  “I’m too tired to move.”

  I tug on her arm, but I’m too late. Meredith eyes me. “Nice t-shirt. Did you buy that in the children’s department?”

  Toby looks at Tori and me. “Good morning,” he says with a smile. “Cool shirt, Becca.”

  Meredith scowls, obviously not happy that Toby talked to us.

  I smile back at Toby. “Thanks.” Meredith continues to scowl at me long after Toby turns away, so I smile and wave.

  “Wow,” Tori says. “You really pissed her off. Nice going.”

  “Thanks.” I still hate that she’s hanging all over Toby, but I do feel some satisfaction from making her squirm.

  By lunch my smile is gone, though.

  Tori sits down across from me. “Not so happy anymore, I see.”

  “My day has been boring, tedious, and dull.”

  “You do know they all mean the same thing, right?”

  “Yup. But one word didn’t seem to cut it.”

  She digs into her pizza. “You not eating?”

  “I’m waiting for the line to die down.”

  “I saw Toby near the front. If you can stand having to talk to him, you could jump in line with him.”

  I like that idea. On second thought…”Is Meredith with him?”

  “Nope. Little Miss Stalks-A-Lot got called down to the guidance office.”

  I get up, trying not to seem too happy. “Be right back.” I walk up to the line and motion to Toby. He waves me forward, and a few people give me looks.

  “It’s cool, guys. I was saving her spot.” Toby smiles at them, and they let it go. It pays to be known in this school.

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Hey, sorry about this morning with Meredith.”

  “I think I handled it well.”

  “You did. She was fuming all the way to first period, and when I turned her down for a date tonight, her face got about thirteen shades of red.”

  “You weren’t mean about it, were you?” I’m not sure why I care, but I do.

  “No. I told her I’m into someone else and I don’t want to lead her on.”

  “That’s good. She deserves to know she doesn’t have a shot.”

  He looks out into the lunchroom. “So, is my sister still in her cheery mood?”

  I make sure no one is watching us before I lean in and whisper, “Actually, she told me you were in a very good mood this morning. So good it was annoying.”

  “By any chance did she tell you that because you were acting the same way?”

  I smile. “Maybe.”

  “Not willing to confirm or deny. I see how it is.” His fingers lightly brush the back of my hand.

  We’re next in line, so I step forward and grab a salad and orange juice. Toby loads up his tray and we both pay. As soon as we’re out of the line we have to make believe we don’t like each other as anything more than acquaintances. Not that we were exactly pawing at each other before. I head to my table and sit down.

  “How’s my brother? Still annoying?”

  “He says hi.”

  “I’m sure he does. Stop trying to make us get along.”

  I eat my salad, not saying a word. If Tori won’t try to get along with Toby, how am I going to make her okay with the idea of me dating him?

  “Whoa, what happened to her?”

  I look up to see what Tori’s talking about. Meredith is standing in the doorway of the cafeteria, eyes red and books clutched to her chest. She doesn’t look anything like her usual self, and I know why.

  “Um, Toby told her he wasn’t interested in her.”

  “What?” Tori’s eyes widen. “How is that possible? He’s walking around all happy like he’s majorly crushing on someone. It has to be Meredith.”

  “Why do you say that? There are tons of girls in this school.”

  “They’re perfect for each other. Who else can it be?” Her eyes scan the cafeteria like she’s trying to figure out who the mystery girl is. If only she knew I’m sitting right in front of her.

  “You hate Meredith. Why would you say she’s perfect for Toby? You should be happy they aren’t together.”

  “But then why the obnoxiously good mood?”

  I shrug, trying to play it cool. “Maybe he’s dating someone else.”

  “You think he’s dating someone?” She shakes her head. “No way. He tutored you on a Friday night. Then he watched movies with us and Ryder. If he was dating someone, he would’ve been out with her.” She stops and drops her slice of pizza. “Unless…”

  Oh God, did she put it all together?

  She leans forward. “He came home last night with rainbow sprinkles on him.”

  “So?”

  “So, Toby doesn’t like rainbow sprinkles.”

  He does now. “Maybe his tastes changed. You two don’t exactly spend a lot of time together. It’s possible he likes rainbow sprinkles now and you just don’t know about it.”

  “Why are you babbling?”

  I shove a forkful of lettuce in my mouth.

  She shakes her head at me and continues. “Anyway, I bet he was out with this mystery girl last night.”

  “You don’t know that. And even if he was, there’s no way to find out who she is.”

  “Of course there is. We already know she likes rainbow sprinkles.”

  “Great. That’s probably ninety percent of the female population of this school.” I roll my eyes, but on the inside, I’m shaking. She’s not going to let this go.

  “I’ll figure it out.”

  “Why do you care? If you two don’t get along, why does it matter who he dates?”

  “Because if he’s not telling me, there has to be a reason.”

  Crap. Tori in sleuth-mode isn’t good. “Why don’t you ask him?” He’s a much better liar than I am.

  “I’ll find out. Don’t worry.”

  Oh, I will worry. A lot.

  ***

  Toby laughs and his shoulders bob up and down.

  “It’s not funny. She isn’t going to let this go, you know.”

  “What’s she going to do? Have me followed?”

  “You think she would?” I look at the space under the bedroom door. Would she stoop to spying? No, she has no reason to suspect me. Not yet anyway.

  “I’ll make up some fake girl if you want me to.”

  “I don’t want you to have to do that.”

  “Then relax. Besides, right now, we’re in here with the door closed.” His face inches closer to mine.

  I press my hand to his chest and gently push him away. “And she can barge right in at any time. She’s done it before.”

  “I locked the door.”

  I jump up. “You can’t. That will make her suspicious.”

  He reaches for my hands and pulls me back down. “She doesn’t suspect anything between us. Besides, if she tries to come in, I’ll pretend the lock’s been sticking.”

  “Why are you so good at lying?” It’s not very comforting.

  “I’m not. I just don’t want to see this get ruined before it has a chance to really start.”

  I smile and ease back against the headboard.

  He pulls me toward him, but he doesn’t kiss me or put his arm around me.

  “You’re worried too. You’re trying to pretend you’re not, but you are.”

  “Why do you think that?” he asks.

  “Because you were going to kiss me just now, but you stopped yourself.”

  He lowers his head. “Maybe we should study someplace else. Somewhere she isn’t.”

  “And how would we ex
plain that?”

  “You’re right, and we aren’t going to get privacy anywhere else.”

  I shift so I’m facing him. “Maybe we should—” Before I can say it, I already know I can’t go through with it. I’m in too deep already. I’ve been crushing on Toby for three years. He’s not some random guy I saw and thought was cute. I know him like I’d know my best friend. Only he’s not my best friend. Tori is. And she’s standing between us.

  “You don’t want to end this, do you?”

  It’s like he can read my mind lately. Why are we so in sync but he and Tori—the twins—are so different and rarely on the same train of thought? “I don’t want to end this. You know I don’t. I just don’t know what to do. It shouldn’t be this hard.”

  “I have an idea.”

  “What?” I’m willing to listen to any and all ideas right now.

  “What if we stop looking at this as a bad thing?”

  “I’m not following you.”

  He turns and traces circles on the back of my hand. “What if we turn this into something fun? See how many times we can sneak out together without getting caught. How many times we can kiss with Tori just two doors away.”

  “You want to turn us dating into a game?” I have to admit it does sound like fun.

  “If we have to sneak around, we might as well enjoy it.” He wags his eyebrows.

  I playfully smack his chest, but he grabs my hand and pulls me in for a kiss. His hand weaves through my hair and cups the back of my head so I can’t get away, not that I’m trying to. His kiss is hungry. Apparently, sneaking around can be fun, and this is a kind of fun I can get used to.

  The doorknob rattles, but this time, when Toby and I pull apart, we both smile. Tori is locked out, and we already have an excuse. I pull him toward me, kissing him quickly before he goes for the door. He smiles in approval. I fix my hair as Tori yells, “What the hell? Open up.”

  I stifle a laugh as Toby jiggles the handle. “Hang on. It must be stuck or something.” Finally, he opens it. “Got it.”