Seeking the Deep

by P. Jameson

  “When you released.”

  Jase pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, okay. Point is, I don’t know.”

  “How do you hold your head up in public?” Huran asked. “After such a failure as a male.”

  Jase pointed a finger at the giant. “You, sir, are a judgy fucker.”

  Huran shrugged. “Your female returned to the water so I’m assuming the curse wasn’t broken because you didn’t fully mate.”

  “What does fully mate mean? I didn’t know you could do it halfway.”

  “Only you can, probably. Because you’re probably half a man. And furthermore, there’s a hell of a lot you don’t know.”

  Jase smirked. “Half a man. Look who’s talking. You were literally half man half fish for how many years? Hm?”

  Huran pressed his lips together. “Your point is valid. Enough of this. What do you want from me?”

  Jase blew out a hard breath. “Help me find her.”

  “If she was pulled back to the lake, you won’t see her until the next cycle. She can’t leave, and I can’t go in. So don’t expect me to pass along any love notes.”

  “Right. I get that. So help me… you know… be ready for when she returns.”

  He had three weeks to figure shit out.

  “Are you sure you want this, to be a curse breaker? You want to mate a shieldmaiden and try to tame her?”

  Jase grinned at the challenge. Right here, right now, he wanted it more than anything.

  “Damn right, I do.”

  Huran nodded. “Very well.”

  When Vada emerged from the water next full moon, he would be waiting. And they would pick up right where they left off.

  Chapter Seven

  Vada arrowed her body through the water, her fin flipping to propel her deeper. She was moving in the opposite direction of where her body wanted her to go.

  It was time.

  A month had passed and the moon was calling her back to shore. Its pull was like a siren call of its own, singing to her about the sweet possibilities that awaited her on the land.

  But she intended to tell it to fuck off.

  The land wasn’t for her. Not anymore. Never again.

  There was no more searching for her mate. No more hoping to break Tamsin’s curse. There was just the lake and its depth.

  And her serpent.

  She was going to visit him tonight. Just like she did any time she was feeling scattered.

  The serpent given to the Mer by the Old Gods was meant to guard them until they could break the curse. He patrolled the waters to keep them free of human interference. He kept the Mer’s secret, and protected the jewels at the bottom of the lake. Long enough to surround the sunken ship, fangs that could stab straight through a man, scales and a snout and eyes that slivered in chilling warning.

  He was terrifying.

  But he brought her comfort, even if he was ferocious in his duties.

  Arriving at the bottom of the lake where the ancient ship lay, she frowned. The serpent wasn’t curled around the boat in his usual resting place. Instead, she found him farther on, watching vigilantly as the other Mer rose to the surface of the water.

  Every month, they left him. And maybe the others didn’t notice how it seemed to make him sad, but Vada did. Or maybe that was her own sadness projected onto the beast. Either way, it was a connection. And not the only one they shared.

  The serpent chuffed, his huge nostrils causing bubbles to form in the water, and turned away from the sight of the Mer leaving. As he swam back to the ship, his massive body moved the water, and Vada had to adjust to the current. But she met him halfway, and angled her tail smack against him. This was how she said hi, and he grunted in response, seeming curious. Maybe he wondered why she wasn’t surfacing.

  Swimming forward to reach his face, she waited for him to go still before she approached to pet him. He wouldn’t hurt any of the Mer. He was there to protect. But even a fool would be cautious reaching for his giant maw.

  Starting at his neck, she ran her hand along his rough skin, avoiding the scales that were larger than her head. When she got to his face, she stroked his jaw and watched his eyes close. That was how she knew it was okay to get closer. So she laid her head against his cheek and closed her own eyes, letting the memories of what kept her from her mate come.

  She’d spent the weeks apart from Jase rehashing the things of her past and wishing she’d made different decisions. It only seemed right to spent this night, the same way.

  The man from her past, the one her mate descended from, wasn’t always known as McCarthy. In the old days, he was Carthaigh of Brigantes, a warrior so brutal he was known to get drunk off of killing. He wasn’t a pillager like the rest of them, treasure seekers, killing only to conquer. As bad as that was, he was worse. A murderer for the glory of it. And she was sure he’d journeyed across the sea with her people only to escape his own doom. After all, many sought vengeance on him.

  Vada curled her fin around the serpent’s body, pressing closer and letting more of the past assault her. She didn’t understand the serpent’s magic, but it almost seemed as though he could absorb her ills.

  For many of her years on land, before the curse, Carthaigh pursued Vada, wanting to rut with her. But she wouldn’t give her body to a male who was cruel. Once, she’d even considered—briefly—letting Carthaigh take her, after he befriended her and used his words to make her feel important. But the heart that beat in her chest, stopped her. Warned her he wasn’t right. And she heeded that warning.

  Maybe he loved her, maybe it was just obsession. Nevertheless, she didn’t return the sentiment. And if there was a silver lining to being cursed the way they were, it was that they could no longer mate with one another. Only with humans during the land-cycles. So his advances stopped.

  For a time.

  Until he found his human mate and broke free of the lake. Vada hoped his centuries in the water would have changed him for the better, and he could live out the rest of his days happier. With a family. Fulfilled.

  But nothing can satisfy the kind of darkness a soul like Carthaigh contained. And even mated, he wasn’t done trying to win Vada. Time and time again, he used her land-cycles to pursue her. Even try to force her. But she wasn’t easily taken. She was a shieldmaiden who could fight her own battles.

  Eventually, she stopped going ashore when the moon danced with the auroras. McCarthy, as he was called now, would die eventually, and she wouldn’t have to spend her time fighting him off. She knew she could continue searching for her mate when he was long gone.

  Except things didn’t go as planned.

  He hunted her down one night at the grotto behind one of the falls on the North Shore. And it was the last night he ever bothered her.

  Vada opened her eyes to see that the serpent had brought her to the very location from their past.

  Scenes from that night, flashed before her.

  “Come out of the water, Vada. You will be mine. I’ve waited too long for this.”

  “No, I won’t.” As long as she stayed in the water, she didn’t have legs for him to part, didn’t have the possession between them he wanted to steal. But the moment her feet touched the dirt she would transform. “Go home to your mate.”

  “I don’t want her. She’s too easy. Too soft. Cried when she birthed our son. Who is just as soft. I deserve a fighting maiden. The gods chose wrong for me.”

  He was no better than a pig wallowing in mud. “She loves you,” Vada hissed, “or else she could never have broken your curse.”

  “Love?” he scoffed. “Since when do you care about love? You rut with men you don’t love all the time.”

  His accusation was a slap to the face. She didn’t rut often, but when she did, it was because she had a connection with the male, just like she’d once had with him. And because she fucking wanted to.

  “Go home, Carthaigh.”

  She turned to dive below the surface when he bellowed, “If you don’t
come out, I’ll drag you out by your fucking hair. And believe me female, I will have you on this rock before you can stop me. It will hurt.” He was already unbuttoning his pants. “But it will be good for me. So good after waiting so long.”

  “No.” He wouldn’t. He couldn’t enter the water as a human. Not this close to the sunken ship. The serpent would have him for dinner. “You can’t. You know you cannot.”

  Carthaigh’s evil glare cut to her soul and she knew this time was different. He was ready to risk everything for a piece of her. He wasn’t afraid of her or what she might do to him. And he definitely wasn’t afraid of the serpent.

  “Last chance,” he warned.

  Vada shook her head. “No.” She would swim away. She could move faster through the water than he could. Her fin was an advantage.

  But before she could tell him this, he dove in, hitting the water just beside her and wrapping both arms around her tail so she couldn’t move. He was strong. Too strong.

  Vada let him pull her under and used the momentum to push them both past the rocks where the water fell to the lake until they were in an open swath of water. If she was going to escape him, she’d have a better chance of it here.

  With her tail, she thrashed against his hold. She only needed to get free and then she could swim to safety, go deep where he couldn’t get air.

  But just as she slipped his muscular arms and dove for freedom, she was paralyzed by a vicious pain stabbing up her center.

  Fire. Dying. Want to die.

  Arching her back for relief, a desperate scream ripped from her throat, vibrating through the water until her own ears rang. Her vision dimmed as the lake in front of her turned ruby red, mixing just enough with the moonlight for her to recognize what it was.

  Blood.

  Searching for the source, she was horrified to realize it was coming from her. But of course it was. Pain. She was in so much pain. Gods help.

  Her fin… her beautiful flowing fin. The one that propelled her through the waves. The one that kept her warm when she chose to sleep in the depths… it was ripped in two, shredded by Carthaigh’s brutal hands, and so deep that the damage had even split her tail, forking it in a bloody snarl of flesh and scales.

  She looked around for him, desperately hoping he’d returned to the surface. But he was right there, evil grin in place, as his hand reached for her bloody fin where it dangled in two. She jerked away, but not in time, and another searing pain wracked her body as he ripped the piece off completely.

  Fight. Fight, Vada.

  She was a fucking shieldmaiden, godsdamnit.

  Biting down her agony, she flung her battered tail at his head and missed. As she rounded back to try again, a woosh of current sent her sprawling backward.

  The serpent had arrived.

  Its long, scaled body moved between her and Carthaigh, and through the blood-tinged water, she finally saw fear in the man’s eyes. Realizing he was in danger, he aimed for the surface, but didn’t make it even halfway before the serpent surged upward, slicing him in half with his sharp fangs.

  Vada screamed at the sight. Not because she was sorry for it. It was a scream of victory, the way she would’ve done on a battlefield so long ago when an enemy fell.

  Before her scream even ended, the serpent had swallowed the male down with a single gulp, and it was over.

  Over.

  Vada had never been weaker than she was then, torn and hurt. Inside and out. Never more vulnerable. Not until the night she met Jase. The moment she realized he could see her mating mark. She had opened up in the minutes after, filling to the brim with hope. So much it felt like her own waterfall. All because he existed.

  She had a mate.

  And he only existed because of a wicked man whose death she had rejoiced in.

  The night McCarthy attacked her, she’d been too weak to swim. The serpent had dragged her to the edge of the lake and pushed her onto the shore so she could shift. And heal.

  Just as he was doing now.

  He broke the water, his snout rising just enough for her head to come above the surface. But she held on tight, not wanting to meet what faced her on land.

  “What will I do?” Vada whispered to the beast. “What will I tell him?”

  His only response was an urgent nudge that forced her fin to touch the land. The thing had never healed right. The bone on the side that had been ripped off had hardened into something sharp while the other side was still flowy and beautiful, billowing with the current the way it should. The sharp part served as a useful weapon underwater, so she couldn’t complain.

  As her tail touched earth, Vada felt the magic of Tamsin and those like her, work through her body, turning her scales into skin and her fin into feet. And when she was fully human again, she drew in oxygen from the air instead of the water.

  She still didn’t know what to tell Jase, but she had to see him. She had to know if he was okay without her. Because she sure as hell wasn’t okay without him, and the serpent knew it.

  She stared down at the beast as it slowly sank beneath the surface.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Chapter Eight

  The moon was full and The Saucy Wench was filling up, growing louder as the Mer crowded the place. Yeah, there was no mine. Huran confirmed it. So all these monthly visitors were warriors coming out of Lake Sapphire to search for their mates.

  Yep, it had taken all three of those weeks away from Vada for Jase to get used to this new reality. But now he was ready. He knew as much as any human could about the curse and how to break it. Though Huran said each experience was different, he knew the basics.

  If he wanted to save Vada from the never-ending loneliness of the lake, he had to commit to her. For life.

  He sucked in a sharp breath, letting it out slow to help his nerves.

  He was ready.

  He’d thought about it a lot. Knew only what he’d learned about her through the vision he had after he touched her mark. Which was more than he could’ve learned by being with her for any length of time, no doubt. It was more than just history and events. He’d felt her emotions. Her joy and despair. Her determination.

  Her heart.

  And it was enough. He wanted her, and he was ready to make it permanent.

  Only one thing hung in his chest, scaring the living hell out of him: why did she leave in the first place?

  They could’ve had two more nights together. He could’ve learned all this from her instead of Huran… who turned out to be less of a bastard than Jase originally thought. But that was beside the point.

  Vada running out on him was something none of them could explain. Not Jase, not Huran, and not Sheriff Holmes who surprisingly knew all about the Mer. Huran called him a keeper.

  Of secrets?

  Of history?

  A Trapper Keeper?

  House keeper?

  Keeper. What a lame title.

  Jase sat on the same barstool he’d chosen a month ago. For good luck. Or just because it was the one closest to the door so he wouldn’t miss her.

  She was coming. He knew it.

  Huran thought so too. As he put it: “No Mer is going to keep away from their mate on purpose. She’ll be the first one out of the water. Trust me,” he’d said.

  Trust him.

  Okay. Well, Jase was here. Trusting him. And the place was packing in. And there was no Vada.

  “First one out of the water, my ass,” he muttered into his jalapeno ginger ale.

  He was aware of the time going by, but tried not to think about it until the place began clearing out. At first it was just a couple here and there, walking… or stumbling… hand in hand as they left through the front. Then more and more until there were only pocket of people left. And no one at the bar except him.

  Shit.

  His gut churned inside. Where was Vada?

  He fidgeted with a napkin, crumpling it into a ball and then flattening it out so he could do it all over again.
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  She… she wasn’t coming.

  Why?

  He had mentioned his father to Huran once as he wondered out loud if his family’s reputation might have scared her away. “Why would she care if your father was an asshole?” he had countered. And Jase figured that was right. If there was a person who wouldn’t care about his family history, it would be Vada, right?

  She’d been a warrior. Made bad judgement calls. He’d seen them in the vision. And he didn’t want her any less because of them.

  But shit. Huran had such archaic ideas about males. Maybe Vada did too. Maybe she thought Jase was weak, like Huran had. Maybe she didn’t want a future with someone like him even if it meant breaking the curse.

  He finished his drink and pushed the empty glass away. He stood, giving the place one last look around to make sure he hadn’t missed her.

  Yep. He was stood up by his mate. His forever girl. The one he was destined for according all the lore… and according to his damn heart.

  And even worse than that? He’d been double stood up. Because Mansen hadn’t showed either.

  Shaking his head and feeling stupid as fuck, he strode for the door. The faster he got out of here, the quicker he could start pretending he was okay.

  “McCarthy,” the bartender called, jerking his attention back to the counter. “It’s for you.”

  The man held up the business end of the telephone that hung on the wall beside the liquor bottles.

  Vada?

  Hurrying to the counter, Jase snatched the phone and pressed it to his ear. “Hello?”

  But the voice wasn’t the one he hoped for.

  “I’m naked,” Mansen growled through the line. “Gonna need you to bring me some clothes. Bring them to the hospital. Fast.”

  Click.

  ***

  Vada watched from across the street, tucked behind a small cart that sold snow cones in the warmer months. It was all closed up now, but its vantage point was perfect for seeing inside The Saucy Wench.

  The place was already full when she got there, but she spotted Jase right away. He was sitting on that same stool from before, when she’d caught him eyeing her breasts.