Expectations

by Brenda Novak

  Eventually this was confirmed when the van paused in front of the sign, then swung into the drive.

  “Come on, squirt, we’re outta here,” Adam said, taking his jacket and shrugging into it. “Your mom and the others will be busy, so we’ll grab a burger and stay out of their way.” He winked. “Guys’ night out.”

  “Do you think we could get a chocolate shake, too?” Ryan asked as they headed up the drive.

  “What good’s a burger without a shake?” Adam took his car keys from his pants pocket and unlocked the passenger side of the Mercedes. Ryan hopped inside. “While we eat, you can tell me a little about Oregon and where you grew up,” he added. And what it was like to know your mom through most of the years I missed.

  THE SOUND OF POUNDING woke Jenna while it was still dark. At first she thought she was banging the brass bunny against Dennis’s hand, that he was trying to get to her again. Then reality intruded, and she opened her eyes to stare at the alarm clock.

  “Three o’clock,” she muttered. Who could want in at—

  Dennis! Was he back? Already?

  Throwing off the covers, Jenna slid out of bed and wrapped her robe around her. Nights were turning into a circus around here, starring her as the Amazing Insomniac. She’d slept only a couple of hours after tossing and turning, trying to forget Adam and the way he’d looked at her outside at the mailbox, the intimate words he’d spoken.

  There was more pounding on the door as Jenna scurried to the top of the stairs. She didn’t want Dennis to wake the hotel guests, or Ryan and the Durhams, but as she stood there, gazing into the darkness of the front parlor, she lost the nerve to go down and confront him. The memory of his vile threats, even the violence of her own defense, curdled her blood and made her doubt she could handle another encounter with him so close on the heels of the last.

  Despite her desire to keep Adam out of her life, she turned and hurried into his room. As he lay sleeping, she could see his profile silhouetted against the moonlight—the straight nose, narrow at the bridge, his full lips. His torso was bare; all the blankets, except for the sheet that rose as far as his hips, had been kicked away. One arm was thrown carelessly above his head.

  As Jenna moved closer, her presence—and probably the insistent knocking below—must have disturbed his sleep. He lifted his head to blink at her. “Jen? Is that you? Are you okay? What is it?”

  She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “Someone’s downstairs.”

  “Dennis?”

  “I think so.”

  Adam sprang out of bed, seemingly without a thought for his nudity, and grabbed his pajama bottoms off the chair next to the closet. Jenna tried not to watch him, but the sight of his muscular body, still taut and trim but broader and fuller than it had been in his youth, worked like a magnet.

  “Do I pass muster?” he asked, giving her a devilish grin as he finished tying the drawstring on his pants.

  To her relief Jenna didn’t have a chance to respond before he said, “Stay here,” and left.

  Instead of waiting behind as he’d told her to, Jenna followed Adam down, too afraid Dennis might have brought some kind of weapon this time. Her ex wasn’t the same man she’d once known, and she had no idea how far he would go to carry out his threats. Especially when he saw Adam. The last thing she wanted was for Adam to get hurt trying to defend her.

  When he reached the front entry, he threw open the door and flipped on the porch light at the same time. Jenna braced herself, expecting to see Dennis’s rage-filled face in the doorway, to smell the booze on him even from several feet away.

  Instead, two police officers waited on the porch. They identified themselves, flashed Adam their badge and nodded toward the drive. As Jenna came up behind Adam, she could see a black-and-white patrol car with the shadowy figure of a man sitting in the back seat.

  “Todd, it’s been a long time,” Adam said, recognizing one of the officers, as Jenna did, from high school. “I didn’t know you’d gone into law enforcement.”

  “I was still in school when you left. It’s good to see you again, Adam.” He nodded at Jenna. “You, too, Jenna. I heard you were back in town. I’m sorry to wake you, but Billie from across the street called in, said there was a Peeping Tom in the neighborhood. When we drove by, we found an unfamiliar car parked at the end of the street and caught a man prowling around your yard. Won’t give his name or his reason for being here, and he’s not carrying any identification. Thought you might know him.”

  “I could probably wager a good guess,” Adam said. He gave Jenna a look that said he’d take care of this and stepped outside.

  Their voices dimmed as they walked down the porch and descended the three steps to the gravel drive. Jenna followed them as far as the swing so she could hear. They stopped next to the police car, and Adam bent to peer through the window.

  “Yep, that’s Dennis Livingston, Jenna’s ex. He’s been harassing her ever since she moved in with my grandparents in August. She’s got a restraining order against him, but he doesn’t let that bother him.”

  Adam’s presence and his words acted on Dennis like a lit match to a can of gasoline. Her ex-husband shouted something Jenna couldn’t make out, then leaned back and started kicking the window.

  Todd’s partner smacked the door with his palm. “You keep that up and you’ll do time for damaging police property.”

  Dennis stopped kicking but continued to shout obscenities and glare at Jenna as though he wanted to choke the life out of her.

  Adam bent closer to the window. “Leave her alone,” he said simply.

  The shouting and thrashing stopped, and Dennis started to laugh, but Adam ignored him.

  “So this is what’s become of Dennis Livingston,” Todd said. “I knew him in school, too, but I didn’t recognize him. He looks bad.”

  “He’s been living in the bottom of a bottle. Calls here every now and then, threatening to kill Jenna.” Adam rubbed his bare arms against the chill wind. “What’ll happen to him?”

  Todd jotted a few notes in a pad he took from his pocket. “Probably not enough. Violating a restraining order is only a misdemeanor, but since it’s Saturday, we can hold him until he’s arraigned, which happens Tuesday morning in Fort Bragg.”

  “After that it depends on the judge,” Todd’s partner added.

  Adam looked back at Dennis. “What do you think the judge will do?”

  Todd shrugged. “Who knows? Mr. Livingston could be fined or required to do community service. I doubt he’ll do any real jail time, maybe a couple of weeks. Depends on how he behaves. If he bothers Jenna after this, though, he’ll be asking for trouble.”

  Adam turned his back to the car and lowered his voice. “You’ll keep an eye out and make sure that doesn’t happen, won’t you, Todd?”

  Todd put his pad away. “Sure. Won’t you be around?”

  “No, I just came for a visit. I live in San Francisco and I’ll be going home soon.”

  With a quick glance at Jenna, Todd’s voice dropped, too, but she could still hear what he said. “I’ll look after her. I used to have a crush on her, you know. I think a lot of boys did, but she only had eyes for you. If all that’s truly in the past, maybe I’ll come by sometime and take my protective duty a step further by asking her out to dinner or a movie. You know, two divorcés whiling away some time.”

  Adam was a few inches taller than both officers; to Jenna, he seemed to use the advantage of his height to emphasize his words. “She’s not interested in a date. Just make sure she’s safe.”

  Jenna’s mouth fell open at the curtness of Adam’s response. He had no right to interfere in her love life, and she would have told him so, except she didn’t want to go out with Todd, anyway.

  Todd chuckled. “I guess it’s not over. That tells me what I wanted to know. Didn’t mean to step on any toes.” He headed to the passenger side of the car.

  “Thanks for taking care of things tonight, Todd,” Jenna called, and for Ada
m’s benefit she sent the officers a beaming smile. “It was good to see you again.”

  “You look great, Jenna,” Todd replied.

  Adam didn’t say anything, but Jenna could see his scowl, despite the distance and the darkness, and felt a moment’s satisfaction. He might have left her fifteen years ago, but it still bothered him to think of her with someone else.

  Todd waved and got in the car while his partner climbed behind the wheel. “We’ll let you know what happens.”

  The slamming of their doors reverberated above the sound of the surf only fifty yards away, and Adam turned to her. “It was good to see you again, Todd,” he mocked in a high-pitched voice as he strode toward the porch.

  Jenna hurried inside and tried to make a dash for her room, but Adam’s hand closed over her elbow and spun her back to face him. “Tell me about the window,” he demanded. “The truth this time.”

  An angry glint shimmered in his eyes, and Jenna flinched, feeling a twinge of guilt. “I didn’t want to…to involve you. I shouldn’t have dragged you into it tonight, but I…I just—”

  “Dammit, Jenna, I’m trying to help you!” His other hand came up to grasp her upper arm and give her a little shake. “You’re pregnant and sick, and you’ve got a boy upstairs who has a right to feel he and his mother are safe. Why are you fighting me? Why am I the enemy?”

  His face was only inches above her own, forcing her to tilt her head back to see his eyes. She tried to put some space between them under the pretense of adjusting the messy hair she’d tied in a ponytail before going to bed, but he held her fast.

  “The enemy?” she repeated. “Why wouldn’t you be? I told you before—I don’t want to be friends,” she said when she realized he wouldn’t let her go until he was good and ready. “Although I appreciate your help tonight, my problems shouldn’t concern you. And how dare you tell Todd I’m not interested!”

  “He’s not your type.”

  “And you know this because…”

  “I am.” His arms went around her, bringing her against his chest, and when he spoke, she could feel the warmth of his breath on her ear. “I’m sorry, Jen. I know the past few years haven’t been easy for you.”

  Jenna stiffened. She didn’t want Adam’s sympathy or his kindness; they made it too hard to protect her heart against him. But she did want him to hold her, because when she was in his arms, nothing else mattered. “I’m okay,” she whispered, closing her eyes and burying her face in his neck.

  “What about the baby?”

  She breathed deeply, smelling the musky scent of his skin, wishing she could taste it. “I’ll take care of the baby just like I do Ryan.”

  “And who will take care of you?”

  Jenna felt her body softening, melting into his. He felt so good. Why not let herself hold him again, just once, just for a moment? “I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” she whispered. Head back, she looked into his eyes…and watched his gaze drop to her lips.

  He wanted to kiss her. She could feel it. Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his mouth, and that single action seemed to snap his restraint like a rip cord. Holding her more firmly against him, he moved his lips over hers with a hunger that easily matched her own.

  Jenna told herself to pull away, to break off the kiss, but the rivulets of pleasure that ran from one nerve to another kept her clinging to him. Fifteen years was a long time to miss a man….

  “Remember this?” he asked when she didn’t resist. “It feels like coming home, doesn’t it?”

  Jenna shook her head in denial, but it was a feeble unconvincing effort.

  “Evidently you need more proof.” With a smile he kissed her again, gently this time. Sucking her bottom lip between his teeth, he nipped at it. Then he deepened the kiss, using his tongue to meet hers and stroke the soft inside of her mouth until he simulated a motion so primitive Jenna could think of nothing else. She was no naive teenager anymore. She knew what she wanted, and she knew Adam could give it to her.

  Her heart pounded and Jenna could feel the rush of blood through her body. It made her light-headed and dizzy; at the same time, the rest of her grew heavy and began to throb, wanting more. “Adam…”

  His name was a sigh that spoke more of longing than reproach as he trailed kisses down her throat. Then he pushed her robe and the straps of her top off her shoulders to expose her breasts. “Jenna, you’re beautiful,” he said, drawing back to study what his hands had revealed. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman.”

  It was too much. It was sensory overload—the smooth skin and male muscle beneath her hands, the smell of his aftershave, so uniquely and appealingly Adam, his words of admiration ringing in her ears. Jenna thought she’d burst from the heat radiating inside her, and that was before he lifted both her breasts in his palms and brought first one, then the other to his lips.

  She thought it might hurt, her breasts were so tender. But Adam seemed to sense that she needed him to be extra-gentle. He nuzzled his face between her breasts, then sucked with just enough pressure to send sparks flying through her veins to meet and collide somewhere in her womb.

  Shaking, Jenna clung to his shoulders, knowing if he let her go, she’d fall. He was everything she’d imagined, better than she remembered. The shiny thickness of his hair created anchors for her hands as she arched toward him, abandoning all hope of resistance.

  “Tell me you want this,” he whispered, needing her consent from somewhere besides her body’s response.

  “You mean say uncle,” she murmured.

  He raised his head. She gazed back at him from beneath half-closed lids framed with thick black lashes—the sexiest pair of eyes he’d ever seen. The creamy whiteness of her breasts spilled over his hands, and the feel of her, along with the peach scent of whatever lotion she’d used, had his mind so befuddled he couldn’t think straight. He shook his head to clear it. “What?”

  “You want me to say uncle.”

  He smiled. “Uncle’s not so bad.” Lowering his hands, he cupped her bottom and pressed her against him so she could feel how badly he wanted the same thing she did. If only she’d give him some sign that she wouldn’t regret it in the morning.

  She drew in a ragged breath. “I won’t wave the white flag, Adam. Not again.”

  Adam felt her stiffen in his arms and knew he’d lost her even before Ryan’s voice reached them from the top of the stairs.

  “Mom, are you down there?”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  JENNA FLED up the stairs to answer Ryan’s call with a soothing murmur, leaving Adam feeling cold and empty. Gram’s worried voice floated down to him, too, and he heard Jenna assure her that everything was okay. Soon, Gram went back to bed and only Jenna and Ryan’s muted whispering reached him while he stood in the middle of the living room, his heart slowly softening its hammerlike blows as other parts of his anatomy began to ache in disappointment.

  Damn. He reached up to massage his temples, wondering what the hell had just happened. One minute he thought he’d found the other half of himself. The next he felt as though he’d been leveled by an ax.

  A creak drew his eyes to the darkness that pooled near the stairs where there were no windows to let in the moonlight. Jenna appeared, sparking the hope that she’d come back to him. They needed to talk. But she didn’t even glance his way. She hurried to the kitchen. A cupboard slammed and the water went on just before Ryan, closer now, called Adam’s name.

  “What’s the matter, squirt?” he asked as the boy stepped into the half light.

  “I had a bad dream.”

  “You did? Come here.” Adam sat in one of the more comfortable sofas arranged near the fireplace and waited for Ryan to take the seat next to him, but the boy surprised him by climbing into his lap. Thin arms went around Adam’s neck as Ryan pressed a wet cheek to his chest.

  “I’m glad you’re awake,” the boy said, his legs dangling over Adam’s thigh. “I heard something down here and I was afraid my d
ream was coming true.”

  Adam put one arm around him and ran the fingers of his other hand through the boy’s hair. “Tell me about your dream.”

  Ryan shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as though he still saw an image that frightened him. “It was too scary.”

  “Was it monster kind of scary?”

  When he answered, Ryan sounded far older than his age. “There’s no such thing as monsters, except people who turn into monsters.”

  “Who was the monster in your dream, Ryan?” Adam asked, even though he could guess the answer. He wanted the chance to tell the boy he was safe from Dennis and to let him express whatever fears he still harbored.

  “Just someone we used to know,” Ryan murmured.

  “Your father?”

  The boy pressed his fists to his eyes as though trying to staunch fresh tears. He nodded, and Adam thought his heart would break. The memory of Dennis’s enraged face taunting him from the back seat of the police car made it easy to imagine some of what the boy must have experienced over the years.

  “I couldn’t protect my mom,” he sobbed suddenly. “I tried, but I couldn’t help her. It happened again, and I tried to stop him, but he only threw me away and…” Sobs choked off his words.

  “And he hurt her again?” Adam finished the sentence, wanting to get the worst of it out into the light so they could face it together.

  Ryan nodded, obviously trying to control his emotion. “When I get big…” he managed, his words broken. “He better not try that when I get big.”

  Adam felt Jenna’s presence behind them and wondered if she’d take Ryan away. Holding the child in his arms evoked a powerful protective instinct that surprised him. Adam knew she’d be bothered by the fact that he’d involved himself in her life again, but this kid…Jenna was right. Ryan was special. So courageous and trusting and loving, even after everything Dennis had put him through.

  “It’s not your fault your dad hurt your mom.”