Hoping for Forever (The Lottery Winners Book 1)

by Elizabeth Lennox

  “Scarlett, you make me proud,” Thomas leaned in and kissed her cheek.

  Scarlett accepted his kiss, but looked up at him curiously. She knew perfectly well that her parents expected her to marry him. And he’d become very attentive since Mick had departed. Had her parents said something to him? That was an issue she hadn’t considered yet.

  Regardless, she sighed and looked at her parents. “I guess the next step is to find a job,” she announced, a small burst of excitement hitting her at the idea. It was a relief to know that she could still feel excitement. Ever since Mick had left her, she’d pushed everything out of her mind other than her schoolwork. Her focus had taken her to the top of her class, but she hadn’t had any job offers. Yet!

  The men in her class were talking about where they would work, what job offers they’d received. Scarlett knew that a female had a harder time of things. But she was up for the challenge!

  Thomas stepped in at that point. “I wanted to talk to you about that, Scarlett,” he began and took her hand. “Would you do me the honor of dining with me tonight? I would love to take you out to celebrate.”

  She hesitated, not wanting to encourage Thomas in any way. But one look from her parents told her that they wouldn’t approve of her turning down the offer.

  So instead, she smiled up at Thomas. “I would love to have dinner with you tonight.”

  He smiled as well. An hour later, they were seated at one of the best tables in the restaurant and Scarlett was impressed. When Thomas tried to amaze, he didn’t pinch pennies.

  The waiter arrived with a bottle of champagne and Thomas nodded, indicating that the vintage was appropriate.

  When the sparkling wine was poured, he lifted his glass in the air. “To great success!” he toasted.

  Scarlett clinked her glass with his and took a sip, enjoying the wine.

  He pulled something out of his pocket and slid a black, velvet box towards her.

  She put her glass down and stared at the box. “What’s this?” she asked, even though she knew.

  He smiled and Scarlett thought that the expression seemed a bit smug.

  “I want to marry you, Scarlett. I think we would be great together. I have a good job and I’m working my way up in my father’s law firm. I can promise you a good future.”

  She thought about that for a moment, knowing that there was a major issue with his suggestion. “But you don’t love me. And I don’t love you.”

  He waved that aside. “Love is for other people. You are a beautiful woman, Scarlett. And you know that I’m attracted to you. I think you feel the same. Or at least, you used to, before something happened.”

  She didn’t tell him about Mick even though she knew that he was probing for an explanation. Even after all this time, she still couldn’t talk about Mick. It hurt too much, especially since she hadn’t heard from him. She didn’t even know if he was still alive, although she perused bookstores, looking for his novel, every few weeks.

  “Thank you for the offer, Thomas. May I think about it?” she asked, knowing that she’d still turn him down. She just didn’t want to do it today of all days. She wanted to let this happiness linger in her heart since it had been so long since she’d felt it.

  “Absolutely. I admire a woman who thinks through issues before jumping in.” He nudged the ring box closer. “How about if you take a look at it? Put it on and feel it out. If it isn’t what you want, I can exchange it.”

  Scarlett didn’t like that he was assuming that she’d eventually accept his proposal. And she also didn’t like that he was willing to exchange something that he should have taken a great deal of time choosing. She liked the idea of her potential husband choosing a ring with her in mind, something that represented her and what he thought about her.

  But still, she lifted the velvet box and opened it. Inside was a massive diamond ring with a platinum setting. Cold. Sparkly. Ostentatious.

  Definitely not her style.

  “You don’t like it.” Thomas laughed. “I should have guessed that you’d like something smaller.” He took her hand. “You’re a more elegant woman, which I didn’t take into consideration.”

  Scarlett didn’t reply, not sure what kind of a response was needed. Thomas was nice enough, but he didn’t stir her the way Mick had with just a look.

  They ate dinner and had a wonderful conversation, steering clear of any controversial issues such as politics or Scarlett getting a job. Thomas definitely wanted a wife and mother, someone to take care of the home while he went out and worked. He wanted a hostess, she realized.

  Chapter 16

  Two Years Later…

  Mick stepped out of the building and looked both ways, wondering which way to go. He needed to celebrate and, of course, his first thought was to call Scarlett and tell her the big news. It had taken much longer than planned, mostly because he’d left college and gone traveling instead of focusing on his novel. He’d work only long enough to earn enough money to pack up his typewriter and get to the next town. He worked odd jobs, learned new skills, all of which he put into his writing. Once he’d finished one story, he didn’t bother submitting anything to an editor – just started working on another idea. Without Scarlett’s approval and reassurance, he just…didn’t give a damn.

  But he wrote. For years, he’d traveled and wrote and learned new skills and wrote. While in California, he mentally created a character that was an investigator that traveled the country, solving odd mysteries. Once he started down that path, the mysteries continued coming to him. After all that time, he had seven books in the series finished. He still didn’t do anything with them, just carted them off from one town to the next.

  A month ago, he’d had enough traveling. He wanted to settle down.

  And stop running.

  In a moment of self-actualization, he realized that he’d been running from Scarlett. It was time to stop. It was time to…

  He sighed, rubbing his jaw.

  It was time to get her back. If she’d have him. He’d tried getting over her, but after all this time, he still loved her. He’d tried finding another woman, but no one measured up to Scarlett. She was beautiful inside and out. She was everything!

  If she’d take him back, he’d move down to Huntsville, Alabama where the new space program was starting to take shape.

  Walking over to the newsstand, he pulled a nickel out and paid for a newspaper. He’d keep this one, he thought, thinking of the monumental news he’d just received. All of his books, every single one, had been accepted for publication. His original novel would be released first and then each of the mysteries at six to nine month intervals. He had a book tour scheduled soon, plus radio and television interviews to promote the books.

  And he wanted Scarlett by his side.

  Walking into the diner, he sat down in one of the booths and ordered a cup of coffee. Five minutes later, he was flipping through the paper and came across the news that…

  Scarlett was engaged! Mick crumpled the newspaper up in his fist and stared at the black coffee. Scarlett…he’d waited too long! Damn it! She was marrying that ass, Tom something-or-other, and he hated the idea! But he had no one to blame but himself. He’d waited, feeling sorry for himself instead of fighting for her! Now he’d just…

  Mick wasn’t sure what to do with his life. So he did what he always did – he wrote. His anger and frustration came out in his stories. Intellectually, Mick knew that his writing was getting better, edgier. Angrier. And it would be a roaring success.

  But it would all happen without Scarlett.

  Chapter 17

  Marsha Jefferson huffed in exasperation. “Scarlett, what’s wrong? I’ve shown you several different designs for your wedding dress, but you’ve turned up your nose at every one of them.”

  Scarlett knew that her mother was right. She and Thomas hadn’t even set a date for the wedding. Thomas had been a constant presence in her life ever since she’d graduated from college. He’d courted her
with an intensity that she hadn’t thought him capable of during their college years, showing her a sincerity and eagerness that she’d never imagined. After all this time, she’d finally agreed to marry him, but…

  It just didn’t feel right. She didn’t want to marry a man she didn’t love.

  Rubbing her forehead, she tried to figure out how to get over the past, over Mick, and move on with her life.

  “I don’t know, Mother. I just…I want…”

  “You need something elegant,” Marsha told her daughter. “You’re marrying into the Kincaid family and they are very important in society.”

  Scarlett thought she’d accomplished a minor miracle when she didn’t roll her eyes. “I know, Mother. I know all of this.”

  “I think this one would be best. It is simple and timeless. Exactly what the Kincaid family would expect.”

  Scarlett turned to her mother. “You don’t like to color outside of the lines, do you?” she teased.

  Unfortunately, Marsha Jefferson was not in the mood to laugh. The stress of putting together a wedding was making her more than a little crazy.

  “Why would anyone color outside of the lines, Scarlett?” she scoffed. “Why have lines if not to color inside of them?”

  And that was exactly what was wrong, Scarlett realized. She didn’t want an elegant wedding dress. She didn’t want a dress at all. The idea of wearing slacks actually occurred to her. She wanted to wear slacks to her wedding and no veil. Heresy, of course. Brides wore dresses and veils.

  Of course, brides were also virgins.

  She’d love to get married on a beach somewhere. She could picture herself in a filmy dress with the waves lapping at her bare feet, flowers in her hair, and…

  “And satin shoes. You need to choose a color for the bridesmaids dresses so they can get their shoes died to match.” Scarlett listened with only half an ear, unconcerned about the shoes of her bridesmaids matching their dresses. Mitzy was her matron of honor, of course. And Thomas had two sisters, both of whom had already informed Scarlett that they would be bridesmaids as well. Scarlett supposed it was nice that she didn’t have to ask. But she also wondered how much of this wedding was actually for her and Thomas, and how much of it was for the parents and siblings.

  Because, in truth, no one had asked Scarlett what she really wanted.

  Not really true, she thought. Her mother was asking about the wedding dress. It was Scarlett that wasn’t offering any feedback.

  Maybe she’d know more when they actually set a date. A date that even Ms. Kincaid was pushing for, so she could reserve the country club.

  But Scarlett didn’t want to get married in a country club! She wanted to get married on the beach!

  So unorthodox. And so different from what everyone expected of her. But after working as a secretary for so long, an over-qualified secretary who found the errors of the other math personnel on staff who made literally twice as much as she earned, Scarlett was sick of coloring inside the lines.

  Two months later, Scarlett took a deep breath and nodded to her father. “Ready,” she whispered. Her lips were numb. Her heart was numb. Her whole body told her to run away. She was marrying the wrong man.

  But running would be wrong. It would be so inappropriate. She’d agreed to marry Thomas. This was good. It was for the best. She had to move on with her life, forget about Mick. Thomas would make a very good husband, she told herself. Mick wasn’t here. He’d abandoned her, thinking he was doing the right thing.

  Thomas was a good man. He’d courted her patiently for so long, which must mean that he had feelings for her, right? It suddenly occurred to her that neither of them had ever said that they love each other. Was that wrong? She suspected that the detail was important.

  But in that moment, her father placed her hand into Thomas’.

  “Dearly beloved…” the minister intoned, beginning the ceremony that would bind her to Thomas Kincaid.

  Scarlett stepped through the white doorway, her heart pounding in her heart. “It’s going to be okay,” she told herself as Thomas led her into the honeymoon suite. They were in Niagara Falls in a beautiful hotel and their suite looked out onto the magnificence of the massive waterfalls.

  “Why don’t you go change?” Thomas called as he headed over to a bottle of champagne, chilling in a bucket of ice.

  Scarlett knew what was expected of her tonight. They’d flown up here right after the reception, her first time in a plane and this was her honeymoon. Her mother had sewn her a beautiful trousseau. Walking over to her suitcase, she pulled out the white silk negligee and walked into the bathroom. There, she leaned against the door, closing her eyes as she tried to calm down. She didn’t want to do this. It felt wrong. The man standing on the other side of this door wasn’t Mick!

  Yes, it had been two years. Two long years and Scarlett suddenly realized that she’d been waiting for Mick to come back to her. Come back and explain, apologize and she’d throw herself into his arms and everything would be wonderful again.

  But Mick wasn’t here. He’d left, telling her that he wasn’t the man for her. He thought he’d sacrificed his happiness so that she could have a good life.

  Looking around at the pristine bathroom, she wondered if this was the good life. She’d done as he’d suggested and married Thomas. She’d colored inside the lines. Scarlett had followed the rules.

  So here she was. She needed to lift her chin and do the right thing.

  With that admonition in her head, she stripped off her traveling suit and slipped the silk on. She didn’t bother to look at herself in the mirror, just walked out and forced herself to smile at Thomas.

  “You look beautiful, my dear.” He handed her a glass of champagne. “Nervous, but beautiful.” He bent and kissed her lightly. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll be very gentle.”

  Scarlett sipped the champagne and forced herself to not think about anything but doing the right thing. What was expected of her? She’d just follow the script. She’d do what was expected and be happy.

  With that, she downed the glass of bubbly wine and handed him the glass. Thomas chuckled but took the glass, setting it on a table. He then came back to her and kissed her gently. Taking her into his arms, he lifted her up and carried her over to the bed.

  While still kissing her, he pushed the silk up around her hips and, a moment later, she felt him pressing into her. It wasn’t a horrible experience, she thought, but waited for that excitement to kindle. Nothing. It wasn’t painful. It wasn’t bad. And it was over in just a few moments. Literally, he grunted out his orgasm in less than two minutes.

  Thomas pulled away and sighed, rolling off her as they both stared up at the ceiling. “Want to walk down by the waterfall?” he asked.

  Scarlett stared up at the ceiling, shocked and…confused? She wasn’t really sure what she was thinking or feeling. Was it over? Had he…finished?

  Sitting up, she looked around, not sure what was going on. The sex was over? That was it? He’d finished and…what about her?

  Looking at Thomas, she realized that he was waiting for an answer. And yes, he was finished so the sex was done, their marriage consummated. He’d had his pleasure. Hers was unimportant.

  Scarlett blinked, looking at the room. She noticed a lot of things, including her lack of…everything. She didn’t even care that she hadn’t had a climax. It was over. Her duty completed.

  “Um…yes. That would be lovely,” she agreed, knowing that was the appropriate response.

  For the next week, they toured the city of Niagara on the Lake, dined at the best restaurants, watched plays, went to the movies, and walked hand in hand along the pathways of the falls. Once a night, he rolled onto her, grunted for a few moments, then finished off and…that was it! Scarlett thought about saying something, about asking for more. But…she just wasn’t comfortable with Thomas. Besides, everything was over with very quickly so…?

  When they returned home, Thomas kissed her the morning after thei
r arrival before he walked out the door, off to his job. “I have total faith that you will be able to turn this house into a home, dear,” he said and was gone.

  Scarlett stared at the massive house, wondering what she was supposed to do with everything. Thomas had asked her to quit her job, “Just until we’re settled.” And she thought it was a good idea. So maybe if she got the house fixed up and got them both into a routine, she could then find a job.

  Two months later, Scarlett realized she was pregnant. Thomas was thrilled and Scarlett was excited. That summer, she had a baby boy and Thomas suggested the name, James. Scarlett agreed and dove into the wonderful world of motherhood. Which wasn’t always wonderful, she found. The sleepless nights, the nursing, the pain of recovering from childbirth. Thomas stayed home for two days after she’d come home from the hospital. On the third morning, as she limped out of bed, still sore and exhausted, he’d kissed her goodbye, then went off to his office. He was fast becoming a sought after criminal defense attorney and Scarlett was proud of him. But he was also a man who never bothered to change a diaper!

  Eighteen months after James was born, Scarlett discovered she was pregnant again. And yes, she truly loved being a mother and was excited about having another baby, but…she’d love to work again. She’d love to stimulate her mind, learn new things, and challenge her brain. Motherhood was stressful, difficult, and challenging, but her mind was turning to mush!

  Nine months later, she gave birth to another boy, Thomas suggested naming him Christopher. Scarlett agreed it was a very good name.

  But she also went to her doctor and asked for birth control. She was done having babies. Two was enough. Thomas preferred to be consulted on all decisions, but on this, she didn’t waver. It was her body and she didn’t want more children.

  Besides, their sex life was…fine. Yes, it was fine, she told herself. Even if their interludes together lasted about five minutes, that was fine. “You’re such a lady,” he’d chuckled one evening after he’d grunted for a few moments. The man was certainly efficient! “I like that about you, honey,” he stood up and walked into the bathroom. Scarlett heard the shower running and knew that he would be back in a few minutes.