Whoops! Our New Flatmate Is A Human (A Susan Hall Mystery Book 1)

by Adele Abbott

  “I’m not sure Ryan would approve.”

  “Come on, Dreams. You’re entitled to a night out with your friends every now and then.”

  “I guess so, but I couldn’t have made it tonight. I’ve got something on.”

  “Anything exciting?”

  “You’d only laugh if I told you.”

  “Now you’ve got me intrigued.”

  “If you must know, I’m going to a meeting of PAW.”

  “Paw? What’s that? Some kind of animal charity?”

  “It’s P-A-W. Paranormal Activity Watch.”

  “Since when were you interested in the paranormal?”

  “I’ve always believed that we share this world with fairies, goblins, witches, and all manner of supernatural creatures.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Deadly. I’ve been going to PAW every week now for nearly two years. I wouldn’t expect you to be interested in stuff like that.”

  “I might be, as it happens.”

  “You’re just taking the mickey now.”

  “No, I’m serious. I don’t suppose I could come with you tonight, could I?”

  “Not if you’re going to write an article, and make us all look stupid.”

  “You know me better than that. I’m your friend.”

  “You’re my friend, but you’re also a journalist, and I know what journalists are like. The story comes first.”

  “I would never do that to you. You helped me get this job. I’m not going to stab you in the back, am I?”

  “I’m still not sure it would be a good idea.”

  “What harm can it do?”

  Dreams checked her watch. “I have to be there in thirty minutes. Are you sure you want to come?”

  “Definitely.”

  “Okay, but you have to promise you won’t write a story about PAW?”

  “I promise.” Susan crossed her heart.

  They each took their own car. Susan followed Dreams. PAW held its meetings in an old church hall on the west side of Washbridge Park. Susan had no idea what to expect, but in the back of her mind she had a picture of lots of Margies, each with their own conspiracy theory. She fully expected whoever was in charge of PAW to be the mad professor type.

  She couldn’t have been any more wrong.

  There were about twenty people in the church hall when they arrived. The majority were women. There were people of all ages, from a teenager to an old lady who looked to be in her eighties.

  “Everyone. This is Susan,” Dreams announced. “She’s an old friend of mine who’s just moved back here from London.”

  There was a chorus of greetings. Susan smiled, said ‘hi,’ and then took a seat next to Dreams.

  A few minutes later, a young man walked to the front of the room. He was not at all the mad professor type she’d been expecting. He was young—probably only a couple of years older than Susan. He was very smartly dressed in a suit which made him look like a banker. And, he was really good looking.

  “Evening, everyone.” He looked around the room. “I see we have a new face.”

  “This is Susan,” Dreams said. “She’s come with me tonight. I hope that’s okay, Greg.”

  “Of course. I’m Greg Lewis, Susan. You’re more than welcome. Hopefully you’ll find it interesting, and become a regular visitor.”

  One woman reported that she’d seen a ghost, who was now apparently a regular visitor to her house. Another spoke of fairies that she insisted lived at the bottom of her garden. Susan said nothing because she was under strict instructions from Dreams not to pass comment.

  After the meeting had finished, and the others started to drift away, Susan managed to get hold of the guy who’d been running the meeting.

  “Excuse me. Could I ask you a few questions?”

  “Of course. Fire away.”

  “I’ll be honest with you, I’m a reporter.”

  His expression changed immediately.

  “I’m not here to get a story or to make fun of you. I promise.”

  “Okay, but we’ve had a few problems with the press before. We’re an easy target, as you can imagine.”

  “I’m sure. Could you tell me what prompted you to form PAW?”

  “I’ve always had an interest in the paranormal. And the fact is, there are more reports of paranormal activity in Washbridge than in any other town or city in the UK.”

  “You mean in towns or cities of a comparable size?”

  “No. I mean any town or city in the UK. There are three times as many reports of paranormal activity in Washbridge than anywhere else in the UK.”

  “That’s incredible. Could that be because you’re so active here?”

  “I’m sure that has some effect on the numbers, but it doesn’t explain such a high volume of reports. Anyway, Susan, what brings you here today?”

  “A woman called Margie came to see me. She’s apparently been badgering the reporters at The Bugle for some considerable time. According to Margie, her husband was a wizard. He was supposedly snatched away from his family, and taken back to another land—somewhere the paranormals live. Apparently, the reason he was taken back was because he’d told his wife he was a wizard. I realise this must all sound crazy.”

  “Not necessarily,” Greg said. “You should speak to Mary Dole.”

  “Is she here tonight?”

  “No. She came to a couple of meetings, several months ago, but then left the group. I haven’t seen her since. She told exactly the same story. That her husband was a wizard, and that he’d been taken back to another land. In fact, she even had a name for it. Candle—err—”

  “Candlefield?” Susan prompted.

  “That was it. Candlefield.”

  Dreams had arranged to meet her boyfriend, Ryan, after the PAW meeting had finished for the evening.

  “What did you think of it, Susan?” she asked, as she was about to leave.

  “It wasn’t what I expected.”

  “How do you mean? Because they didn’t all turn out to be nutters?”

  “I suppose so.” She couldn’t fault the sincerity of everyone who’d been at the meeting, and she had been particularly impressed by Greg Lewis. He seemed to be in no doubt that paranormal creatures existed. Susan could never buy into that, but she did think there might be the germ of a story there somewhere.

  More than anything else, she was fascinated by what Greg had told her about Mary Dole, the woman who had apparently told a story similar to Margie’s. Susan fully intended to follow that up at some later date. Maybe what she was actually witnessing was a case of mass delusion.

  Chapter 18

  When he arrived home from work, Neil bumped into Craig, another wizard, who lived on the floor below them.

  “How’s it going, Craig?”

  “Great, thanks. I’m having a party this weekend, and I’m inviting everyone in the building. Are you up for it?”

  “What do you think?” Neil grinned. “Have you ever known me to turn down a party? Will there be plenty of women there?”

  “Yeah, and plenty of drink, too. I’m planning on pushing the boat out. What about your flatmates?”

  “I’m sure they’ll be up for it. Why don’t you come up and ask them yourself?”

  “Okay.” He followed Neil upstairs.

  Charlie, Dorothy and Susan were all sitting in the lounge. Neil led the way inside; Craig was a few steps behind him.

  “Everybody! Craig’s having a party this weekend! He wants to know if you’re all up for it.”

  “Count me in!” Charlie said.

  “Sure.” Dorothy nodded.

  “I’d love to come,” Susan said. “Thanks very much for the invite. It will give me a chance to get to know everyone.”

  When Neil turned around, he noticed the worried expression on Craig’s face.

  “Neil, can I speak to you outside?” Craig said in a hushed voice.

  Neil followed him back out.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” C
raig said, once they were outside.

  “Tell you what?”

  “That your new flatmate is a human.”

  “It never occurred to me.”

  “I can’t have a human at the party.”

  “Why not? Susan’s okay.”

  “The party is strictly sups only. How are we meant to let our hair down, and enjoy ourselves, if we’ve got to look over our shoulder all the time to make sure the human isn’t spying on us?”

  “She’s not a spy. She’s a—” Neil hesitated.

  “A what?”

  “Actually, she works for The Bugle. She’s an investigative reporter.”

  “Great!” Craig rolled his eyes. “A human and an investigative reporter? Does it get any worse than that?”

  “Sorry.”

  “What on earth possessed you three to take her on as a flatmate?”

  “We didn’t have any say in it. The landlord said we’d been dragging our heels. He was the one who told her she could have the place. There was nothing we could do about it.”

  “Well, she can’t come to the party.”

  “What am I supposed to tell her? She thinks she’s been invited.”

  “Tell her what you like. Just don’t bring her.”

  Craig went back downstairs, leaving Neil wondering what he was going to do about Susan. He re-joined the others in the lounge.

  Dorothy held up a copy of a newspaper. It was the first edition of In The Wash. “This doesn’t look very good for The Bugle, does it?”

  Susan was determined not to let her concern show. Instead, she tried to remain upbeat. “I’m not scared of a little competition. Remember, I learned my trade in London. There are any number of newspapers in the capital. And besides, if the first issue is anything to go by, I don’t think we have much to worry about.”

  “You must be a bit worried,” Charlie said.

  “Obviously, it’s going to make life more difficult, but it’s nothing we can’t overcome. If I was worried, I would have jumped ship to the other paper when I had the chance.”

  “They offered you a job?” Neil said.

  “Yeah. Their chief investigative reporter has asked me to join them twice now.”

  “And you turned him down?”

  “Of course I did. Anyway, enough newspaper talk. I met up with an old friend of mine, Dreams, after work.”

  “Dreams?” Charlie looked puzzled. “Is that a name?”

  “Her name’s actually Caroline Day, but we’ve always called her Dreams. She took me to a meeting of PAW—Paranormal Activity Watch.”

  “The what?” Neil looked horrified.

  “You heard right. Paranormal Activity Watch. Dreams goes there every week. She wasn’t too keen on the idea of me tagging along because she thought I was after a story. Anyway, I managed to persuade her to let me go with her, and it turned out to be very interesting—not at all what I expected.”

  “Isn’t it full of nutjobs?” Dorothy said.

  “Surprisingly, no—most of the people there seemed quite normal. They all take it very seriously. I’ve also learned a few interesting facts about Washbridge.”

  “Such as?” Charlie asked.

  “Did you know that more adults go missing here than in any other town or city of comparable size?”

  That information hardly came as a surprise to the other three. They already knew that a lot of sups were taken back to Candlefield by the Rogue Retrievers.

  “And that’s not all,” Susan continued. “I was talking to Greg Lewis. He’s the guy who runs PAW. He’s young, smart, and very down to earth. Not at all what I’d expected. He told me there are more reports of paranormal activity in Washbridge than in any other city in the UK, regardless of size. And not just a few more—there are three times as many as the nearest one.”

  “But surely all this paranormal stuff is nonsense,” Dorothy said.

  “I suggested to Greg that the reason for the high numbers being reported was because of the presence of PAW, but according to him, the figures are too high to be explained away like that.”

  “Sounds to me like you’re buying into this rubbish,” Neil said.

  “Of course not. But there may still be a story there somewhere, if only from the missing person angle. Anyway, I’m going to follow it up. Do you remember I mentioned the woman who insists that her husband was a wizard, and that he was taken away by something called a rogue retriever? Well, now Greg has given me the name of another woman who told him exactly the same story. She said that her husband had been taken back to Candleton—no, that’s not it—Candle—err—”

  “Candlefield,” Charlie said.

  The other two glared at him.

  “You’ve heard of it, Charlie?”

  “No—err—yes. Someone must have mentioned it to me. I can’t remember who though.”

  Susan talked for another fifteen minutes about PAW while the other three listened in silence—too stunned to say anything. Then she stood up. “I need to nip to the shop. I’m out of orange juice. Does anyone else need anything while I’m there?”

  None of them did.

  As soon as she was out of the door, Neil and Dorothy turned on Charlie.

  “Candlefield?” Dorothy almost exploded. “Candlefield? What were you thinking?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’m really sorry.”

  “Now she’s been to that stupid Paranormal Activity Watch, she’s probably going to pursue this further,” Dorothy said. “We have to stop her talking to the other woman whose husband was taken back to Candlefield.”

  “How are we meant to do that?” Neil said.

  “I don’t know, but there must be something we can do.”

  “There isn’t. We don’t even know who the woman is. The only thing we can do is make sure we don’t give her any more ammunition. And that means not mentioning Candlefield again, Charlie.”

  “Yeah, I’ve already said I’m sorry. Anyway, you can’t talk—you were using magic in front of her—remember the biscuit tin?”

  “You’re right,” Neil conceded. “I won’t do it again.”

  “And you, Dorothy,” Charlie said. “You can’t keep trying to drink her blood.”

  “I don’t intend to. That was just a one-off.”

  “We’ve got another problem,” Neil said. “Craig doesn’t want Susan at the party.”

  “But he invited everyone.”

  “Yes, but I’d omitted to tell him that Susan was a human. He assumed that we’d got another sup as a flatmate.”

  “We’ve got to get her to move out,” Dorothy said. “It’s too dangerous having her living here.”

  “How are we meant to do that?”

  “There’s only one way. We have to get Socky to scare her away.”

  “But she’s already been in her bedroom for several days now. It’s freezing cold in there. And then there’s the sound of him clomping around with his wooden leg on the floor. None of that seems to have scared her so far.”

  “Socky is just going to have to up his game.” Dorothy turned to Neil. “And you’re going to have to persuade him to do it.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “Who else? Charlie and I can sense his presence, but you’re the only one who can see him, and have a proper conversation with him. You’ve got to make him see that having a human living in the apartment is dangerous for everyone—including him. What would happen if she took it upon herself to bring in a Ghost Hunter? You’ve got to make Socky realise that this could affect him too.”

  “That’s all well and good,” Neil said. “But you know what Socky’s like. He’s very set in his ways, and he doesn’t like being told what to do.”

  “In that case, you’d better use all your powers of persuasion. The ones you use on all of your lady friends.”

  “You’re right.” Neil suddenly looked quite smug. “I can be quite persuasive when I want to be.”

  “Go on then. There’s no time like the present.” Dorothy us
hered him towards the bedroom. “Before Susan gets back.”

  “Socky, are you there, Socky?” Neil called.

  The ghost appeared. “It’s Tobias.” He sighed. “How many more times must I tell you?”

  “Sorry, Tobias. Look, we’ve got a bit of a problem with the woman who’s staying in your room.”

  “In my office, you mean?”

  “We need to get rid of her.”

  “Why don’t you just throw her out?”

  “That won’t work. She’s been given the room by the landlord. So as long as she keeps paying the rent, we can’t get her out.”

  “What has the world come to?” Tobias tutted. “I never used to have these problems in my day. If I wanted someone out of one of my properties, I just showed them the door.”

  “Things have changed since then.”

  “Not for the better, apparently.”

  “We can’t have a human living here.”

  “A human? What do you mean? We’re all humans.”

  “That’s not true. You’re a ghost, and the three of us—well, we’re not human.”

  “You’re not bringing up this wizard nonsense again, are you?”

  “I know it’s hard for you to get your head around, Tobias, but it’s true. Anyway, take it from me, having the human in this apartment is bad news for everybody. She may take it upon herself to bring in a Ghost Hunter.”

  That made Tobias look up. “What is that, exactly?”

  “They’re people who specialise in ridding places of ghosts. If she brought one in, you could end up back in Ghost Town permanently.”

  “That horrible place? It’s full of ghosts.”

  “That is rather the point, Socky—err—Tobias.”

  “I won’t be thrown out of my own office.”

  “That’s why you have to scare her away.”

  “That’s proving to be easier said than done. If she could see me, I’m sure I could send her running. But I can’t do that unless she allows me to attach myself to her, and I doubt that is going to happen.”

  “You could make the room even colder, and make even more noise.”

  “I’ll try, but it takes a lot of energy. You have no idea.”

  “Do your best, Tobias. The sooner we get her out of here, the better for all of us.”