“Ohhh-kay.” Marcus looked unsure as to what to say next. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he finally got out, his voice laced with concern. It was a different Marcus than I was used to. “You need to talk about something? I could maybe help...” he trailed off.
I pushed his car door open. “Nope. I’m fine. Nothing to worry about. I’m just spending too much time up late working on my sculpture. This is probably the effects of sleep deprivation. That’s all.” I know I had just crossed the line I said I wouldn’t cross with Marcus. I was telling him lies. But what were my options here? Should I really tell him I took some unknown, untested drug that lead me to have the biggest black out I’ve ever experienced, leaving my brain scrambled and fried because I was doing the Lappell secret society initiation test? Or...should I keep him at a safe distance where he couldn’t be sucked into the Lappell’s vortex of mind-numbing madness? I chose to keep Marcus at a safe distance. A lie can’t be that bad if you’re protecting someone you care for; is it?
I climbed out of his car and tried to walk, shuffling my feet slowly as I moved. Marcus only stood staring at me. Even with my shoulders turned, I felt his eyes bore into my back.
I spun on my heels. “Are you heading out?” I asked, diverting the conversation away from myself and my inability to walk properly. I must have looked like some sort of crippled mental patient as I dragged my body across the floor of the garage.
“I’m heading to classes. It’s nearly nine,” he said, still staring at me like I was about to collapse. His smile had fallen from his face now. He was watching me move, probably wondering if I’d hit the floor at any second.
I lifted up the garage door so I could head up to the apartment, purposely showing strength that I wasn’t about to pass out. I turned quickly to Marcus, trying to be friendly. I also wanted to try and diffuse his look of doubt he had in me and my ability to take care of myself.
“Thanks for your concern Marcus. But everything is cool.”
“Yeah...cool,” he mumbled and started his car. Before I turned around he yelled out to me, “We’re friends James. You know that right? Which means I’ve always got your back. No matter what. Okay?” Serious Marcus was back in his voice, again taking me by surprise. Marcus had more emotional dimensions than I had given him credit for.
I grinned in appreciation, hoping it was enough. He waited another minute before he backed out and drove off. Marcus was a childish guy, but he certainly wasn’t dumb. He could smell as lie as easy as the rest of us. He also had eyes too, meaning he could clearly see something was wrong. There was no way I could’ve hidden what Marcus just saw. I was obviously someone who was in lots of trouble.
As I stared off after the Mustang, I saw my motorbike parked on the street out front. I tried again to remember my night, but came up with dead air in my head. Fuck that flashback for messing with my wires. Everything was crossed.
I took off up the stairs back to my apartment. I needed to call my mother — priority number one. I couldn’t have Marcus’ Mom harassing him anymore. I owed him that much. Then after I called my mother, I would go see Anais. I needed to speak to her next. Get some more clarity about what exactly I said and did last night while I was blacked out in that tent. I had a dream that I ran away from Anais and didn’t look back. How much of that dream was true?
When I got to the door, it was already open. Did Marcus forget to close the door? Or did I forget to close the door? Or did I open it already? Fuuuuck this! I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t. I needed a shower. Perhaps that would help clear this confusion.
I heard a sound coming from my workroom. Someone was here. I walked slowly in, and to my surprise saw Byron standing and looking at my sculpture, with his back to me. He turned suddenly, hearing me enter the room. I could see he was holding my lucky coin box which was open in his hands. He shut it loudly, smiling wide. I had to admit, it was very unusual that he was here and looking at me like I was a million dollar prize. I had already learned that a happy Byron is worse than a manic Byron. His happiness was only reserved for the Lappell and getting ahead. There was nothing comforting in seeing a smile on his face.
“You look great,” Byron said sarcastically looking me up and down. “Long night?”
“How did you get in here?” I said dryly as I shuffled closer.
“Your roommate let me in.”
Marcus let Byron in and didn’t tell me he was here? That’s strange. Or did Marcus tell me he was up here and I just didn’t remember? I shook my head. “C’mon James. Get your shit together,” I mentally screamed to myself. My head starting to pound harder. One of my hands went to the back of my neck to hold my head up straight. It was all I could do to maintain my balance.
“What do you want?” I asked with a kind of bitterness coming off my tongue. “I’ve done what you’ve asked me to do. I came to your event. I took your stupid pill. I’ve submitted haven’t I?”
Byron didn’t stop smiling. Instead he leaned back on my work desk and turned his attention back to my sculpture.
“He was right you know. You are good at this sculpting thing. And in the beginning I thought that was why you were untouchable...why you weren’t to be considered an investment.”
Untouchable?
Not to be considered?
“But the way you took down those guys...and your performance on race night...I knew there was something different about you. Something he was keeping from all of us. You were special.”
I don’t even thinking Byron was speaking properly. Everything he was saying was repeating itself twice over. Like we were standing next to the Grand Canyon and he was yelling into my ears. Everything was loud and repetitive and nothing was making sense. His statements were always so cryptic, and I knew he was being that way on purpose. Always fucking with me. Always fucking with everyone.
“What are you talking about Byron? Can’t you just give me straight answers?”
“I mean, why couldn’t we go near you...or recruit you?” He cleared his throat. “Or hurt you? And it’s no secret I’ve had my doubts about our chapter president’s reign. He’s soft. Too lenient. Bends rules he shouldn’t bend. Doesn’t feel as committed as the rest of us. And yes, curiosity did indeed get the better of me. In the beginning you were a little challenge against his authority. And as much as he says you are out, I’m putting you in. I’m in charge of recruitment after all, and you passed initiation with flying colors. You belong with us James. You see, I think you’re going to make a spectacular addition. A gem that will give us lots of attention. You’re going to bring us everything that we’ve been searching for.”
There was only one piece of his weirdo speech that I actually heard properly. “You said your president wants me out?”
“President is a loose term for what he is. And our chapter needs new leadership.” Byron moved closer to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I cringed at his obvious attempt at camaraderie, but yet it felt real...even sincere. “You see James; I think together we’ll bring the Lappell to where it needs to be. So tonight we celebrate and we’ll finish your official initiation tomorrow. I’m going to take you out and show you a good time.” He let go of me and started to walk towards the door. Then he looked at his hands which were still holding my coin box. “I’ll swing past here at seven.” He threw me my coin box and I caught it with one hand. At least my reflexes were working.
“Good catch,” he noted. “You don’t want to lose...” He pointed to the box. “What is that exactly?”
“It’s my lucky coin.”
Byron smiled again. “Indeed it is,” he said and walked out of the room. “See you tonight,” he yelled once more before I heard the front door close.
I placed the box back on my work desk and took off to my bedroom. I couldn’t waste anymore time thinking about Byron and what he just said. I couldn’t piece it together or analyze it even if I tried. I just had to move forward with my day and hope everything would start to m
ake sense.
I had left my cell home last night before I went to the initiation test. The next thing on my to-do list was to call my mother. When I picked up my cell, I could see why Marcus’ cell had been inundated with calls. I had fifty-two missed calls from my Mom, and seventy-three text messages. What the fuck Mom? Stress much!
I dialed her cell right away. She picked up on the first ring.
“James!”
“Yes Mom.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes of course. I’m here. I’m safe. I’m alive. Did you really need to call Marcus’ Mom trying to find me? Were you that worried I’d been abducted by aliens or something?”
“James, we’re coming over.”
“Wait, what? What do you mean, we’re coming over. Coming where?”
“Me and your father. We’re getting on a plane as we speak.”
“Mom — this is crazy. You’re being crazy. You need to calm down. There’s no reason for the two of you to get on a plane and come over.”
“Isn’t there James?”
She suddenly went very quiet. My mother never just went quiet. She was a storm. Not a cool breeze. Although the silence suggested she had gone past the point of being mad. She was now taking matters into her own hands.
What exactly did she know?
“Look Mom...you and Dad just need to stay where you are. There’s nothing to worry about, alright? There’s absolutely no reason you need to get on a plane and fly halfway round the world to see...”
Click.
“Mom? Mom!”
I threw my cell to the floor, realizing she had hung up on me.
She fucking hung up on me!
“FUCK!” I yelled out. Not the outcome I wanted. Not. At. All.
I needed to pull myself together. What was going on? It was like my life was suddenly on fast forward and there was no pause or rewind button. One minute I was saving a girl tied to a tree; the next I was less than a day away from joining a very powerful secret society. In the span of six weeks, I had flipped my entire reason for living upside down and inside out, all for love. My mother and father were flying over to check on me and probably to stop me from joining. I had some weird date night with Byron and his droogs. And on top of that, I could hardly remember anything in the last twenty-four hours.
There was only one thing I needed to do next. I needed to be with my compass. My soul’s companion. My heart. My destiny.
I needed to find Anais.
{21}
I must have passed out on my bedroom floor, because it was late in the afternoon when my eyes opened. I didn’t even remember lying down. The last thought in my head was running into Anais’ arms. I had told myself to pick up my keys and walk out the door, but clearly my body had different ideas. I had dropped in the last place I remember standing.
When I woke, I had a sudden burst of energy. I threw some jeans and a fresh T-shirt onto my body and hurried downstairs. I knew I should have probably gone to see a doctor. Having blackouts and forgetting time. These were not good signs, especially after taking some weird drug. But it wasn’t myself that I cared about most, it was Anais. I needed to find her. Be with her. I needed to find out what I said last night in that tent before I completed the initiation ceremony tomorrow.
I drove fast to her mansion. It was getting late and I was running out of time. The security guards at her gates had informed me she was at her uncle’s. At least I knew how to get there. I wondered why she was at her uncle’s house. She went to him every time she had a problem. Perhaps he was the only one she could trust, especially since her parents were members of the Lappell.
The professor didn’t have guards out front like at Anais’ house. He didn’t even have a security system. I discovered the front door was unlocked after I had banged repeatedly over and over with no success and then twisted the door knob out of pure frustration. I was a little shocked when it flew open in my hands. What kind of person has a place this grand and doesn’t keep it locked up or secure? Was this complacency or something else entirely? Would people dare not consider coming in without permission? I was getting sick of the millions of questions about these people who offered no true answers. In any case, this was where I was told Anais was, so I walked in, without invitation this time. I couldn’t be worried about the consequences at this point of the game.
Liam’s house looked completely different in the daylight. When there were people in here during the student invitational, it brought the whole flow of the structure to life. Like it needed humans to give it heart. Without anyone around, there was an empty coldness. An almost sterile feeling to the place. Even with the sculptures and artwork. Maybe that was why the professor had filled the place with all this art. There were no signs of family or friends who walked the halls. Nothing that made the house a home. There was no warmth about it in the cold light of day. It was kind of like a shell. A hideout. A cover. A front. I couldn’t imagine someone like the professor living here full time. It was art that was missing the artist.
I walked the halls and climbed the stairs, just listening for something; anything that signaled Anais’ presence. I walked past the room in which Anais had dragged me into the massive wardrobe. I stopped for a second, remembering that night. I thought about the warning she gave me. The way her eyes pleaded for me to stay away. But I also remembered the way her hands touched my skin. The way she smiled when she thought I couldn’t see her, and the way her whole being craved mine all the way across the room. You just don’t run away from a connection like that.
I had travelled all the way to the other side of the massive two-storey home when I finally heard the professor. But when I heard his voice coming from a room, he wasn’t alone. He had company and it wasn’t Anais. It sounded like a man just as old as him. Probably a colleague. I was about to turn and leave his house. It was the right thing to do. I shouldn’t have been intruding the way I was, nor should I be eavesdropping on the professor’s private affairs, but I stopped my legs from walking away when I heard my name. I pressed my head up against the door behind where the voices were coming from. Perhaps the conversation had to do with me and Anais. Maybe it would help with my search to find her. I cringed at myself and my actions at that moment. This was something I would never normally do, and I hated that I was already changing because of the Lappell.
“Anais has it under control. She will find James today. She will stop all of this. I believe her. I have faith in her. She loves him and he loves her. You of all people should know what is possible for love.”
“Do you really think she can stop him? He seems headstrong...and very determined. I don’t think he’ll just give up because she asks him to. He has so many qualities like...”
I couldn’t quite hear the other man. He must have been further from the door than the professor. But there was something about the other man’s voice in the room with Liam. I found myself pressing my face harder against the wood, wanting...needing...to hear him clearer. It was the oddest sensation. Desperation to get closer. An urge to open the door.
“Yes. I agree. I can see him going down the same path. That’s why she has to stop this...it’s the only way...”
Liam stopped talking suddenly. An abrupt silence between the two men.
“What? What’s wrong? What is it?” the other man spoke.
“Did you hear that?” Liam said.
I stood away from the door. I didn’t realize in those few seconds but one of my hands had begun to shake and was thrumming against the wooden door. It started shaking the moment I heard the other man’s voice. I was trying so hard to listen that I didn’t even notice I was doing it.
The door swung open and there was Professor Aston. His eyes open wide in shock and surprise. He pushed my chest hard, forcing me to walk backwards. He shut the door fast behind him and then went to my side, helping me up as I stumbled to the ground.
“What the heck are you doing here James? Alone? In my house?” The professor was clearly angry. And rig
htfully so.
“I’m sorry,” I managed to get out, feeling mortified that I’d been caught snooping in his house. “I was told Anais was here. I was looking for her. Your front door was open...and...”
“And what? You just walked in? Uninvited?”
“Again, I’m very sorry. I just really need to find her. I should have never come inside.”
This was beyond embarrassing. He was right. I shouldn’t have just walked in, even if the front door was open. What had come over me? Anais had come over me.
“For the last time, it’s Liam.” He helped me to my feet. His eyes went back to the door of the room he just came out of and back to me. “Look, let’s go talk in my library James. There’s something important I need to discuss with you anyway, so it’s probably a good thing you’re here.”
Liam practically pulled me by the shirt down a corridor until we were in a big circular room filled ceiling-high with books. He looked more distressed than usual. His forehead was sweating, and his hair was slicked back as a result of the sweat. He clothes looked un-ironed and he wasn’t wearing shoes.
“Anais has been looking for you all night. Where have you been? She’s been worried sick.”
At that moment, there was nothing I wanted to do more than take Liam up on his offer of friendship. Tell everything that had happened to me and Anais. Tell him about what I saw happening to his niece on that tree. About the race. Seth. The memorial event and the drug. I wanted to get it all out of my head. I hated carrying all this on my own. I needed a shoulder. Words of wisdom. Fatherly advice. The idea only made my hand shake again. Yet, I didn’t know why it was happening. Why were such thoughts causing the tremors to erupt like this? It had always been acts of violence which set them off. Not thoughts of a father I never knew. And I couldn’t replace what I never had. Not with my step-dad. Not with Liam. I was more confused than ever. It must have been more after-effects of the drug.
Fiendish Play Page 19