by K. Webster
“Where do ya think yer goin’?” he demanded, roughly grabbing my upper arm. He squeezed until I yelped in pain. Markwayne liked getting rough every now and again, but he’d yet to hit me.
“Markwayne, I’m goin’ to shower. Let me go,” I seethed.
My disgust towards him must have shown loud and clear. The back of his hand connected across my cheekbone before I even knew what hit me. Gasping, I held my hand to my stinging face.
“Ju Ju, I’m sick and fuckin’ tired of you sassin’ me all the time. Now cook me some damn dinner or I’ll do it again.” His threats didn’t scare me like they should have.
Shoving him away from me, I bolted for the bathroom to take my damn shower. The thunderous pounding of his footsteps coming after me echoed through our dilapidated trailer, making my heart quicken. He’d never hit me before today, but now I wasn’t so sure if it wouldn’t happen again.
Darting around the bathroom door, I slammed it shut behind me and engaged the lock. His giant body banged against it, nearly knocking it off its hinges. A cold shiver crept up my spine as I wondered if I’d pushed him too far today. My question was answered when he smashed against the bathroom door again, this time splintering the wood. I shrank away from his massive fists that were punching through the wood. Yanking the plunger up from beside the toilet, I held it out in front of me in a defensive position.
“Get the fuck away from me, Markwayne!” I screeched as he forced himself all the way through the door.
My attempts to stab him with the wooden end of the plunger were thwarted as he swatted it easily to the floor. One of his hands found my throat and squeezed, instantly making me see stars.
Thankfully, he released my neck but grabbed my hair instead and yanked me back through the destroyed bathroom door toward our bedroom. Tears were streaming down my face as he dragged me down the hallway and shoved me to the floor once we were inside our room.
Free of his grasp, I scrambled to my feet and searched wildly for something to defend myself with. Markwayne had never taken it this far, and I wanted nothing more than to get away from his violent behavior. Eyeing the lamp and its metal base on the bedside table, I lunged for it. Before I could reach it, he rammed me into it, causing both me and the lamp to crash to the floor. Shards of glass from the light bulb sliced my palms as I tried to stand up.
A hard kick to my ribs sent me sailing into the wall and an instant fiery burn tore through my side. I gasped, attempting to suck in air between the sharp pains. He pounced on me again, jerking me up to my feet by my hair and spinning me to face him.
“You will fuckin’ learn, woman, that I’m tired of your sassin’!” The last thing I remembered before being knocked completely out was his massive fist connecting with my face.
Our last show was amazing—the best show yet. It was great to end our tour in our hometown. Even though I loved my music, I was ready for a break. We didn’t have to pick back up until the summer.
“Want to pick up some groupies and get shitfaced?” Donnie asked, taking a drag of his cigarette.
Chaz and Manny had already left us to go back to their respective homes. I wasn’t due to see Mom until tomorrow.
“What the hell,” I agreed and picked up my guitar case. The crew took care of packing up our equipment, but nobody touched my Gibson Les Paul Black Beauty.
We made our way out of the dressing room and into a throng of scantily dressed females ripe for the picking. Donnie, being the douche that he was, grabbed two busty, barely legal girls and headed toward our limo. I scanned what was left and winked at the platinum blonde with cleavage spilling out of her tube top. She squealed and ran over to me, hooking her arm through my free one.
“I’m going to show you a great time tonight, Acey,” she purred her promise. The fans knew me as Acey—a play off my last name—not Bobby.
I just nodded at her, not even giving her the satisfaction of my words. These chicks were eager and willing. It didn’t matter if we were complete assholes. They all still wanted our dicks. Rock star life had its perks.
Once inside the limo, Donnie was having his way with both of the “baby” girls, a hand on each one’s thigh as he took turns kissing them. Blondie straddled me and licked my neck all the way to my earlobe, where she gently bit down. My cock sprang to life from underneath her, earning me a devilish grin from her. These girls were all the same—freaks beneath the sheets.
Sliding off me and into the floor, she hastily unfastened my jeans and jerked them down so she could access my cock. Most guys would be embarrassed if their buddy saw their cock, but Donnie just winked at me. I nodded my head at him and closed my eyes as Blondie sucked my dick deep into her throat. Reaching over, I grabbed the bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey, unscrewed the lid, and took a long pull on it, enjoying the slow burn down my throat.
Blondie kept up her rhythm and I finally came. Like a good girl, she swallowed it all down. She put me back into my pants and situated herself beside me. Soft moans could be heard in Donnie’s direction, and I stifled a laugh when I found him spanking it while watching the girls make out. He was such a horny bastard.
The next few hours at the hotel flew by in an alcohol-and-drug-induced haze. Blondie, whose name I’d yet to ask or cared to know, fucked me six ways to Sunday. I kept tossing condoms at her and she kept coming back for more. Finally, I was tired as hell and wanted to hit the sack. Alone.
“It’s been a blast, but I’m wiped. Do you want me to call you a cab?” I asked, dragging the pillow over my face as I got comfortable. Her hands slid up my chest as she snuggled herself to me. Fuck that. I didn’t snuggle. “Blondie, time to go.” Annoyed, I tossed the pillow to the floor and sat up.
She sat up as well and frowned at me. “Baby, I thought we were having a good time.”
“As in past tense, doll. Now I’m ready to pass out, so it’s time for you to leave.”
“But could I just go in the mor—” she began, but I cut her off with a wave of my hand towards the door.
“Fucking go before I call security,” I growled, completely over this sudden needy behavior. Clearly she needed to recheck the definition of groupie. Nowhere in that definition did it say anything about cuddling.
Chin quivering, she slid off the bed to hunt for her clothes.
Pulling a hundred-dollar bill from my wallet, I tossed it over at her. “Cab fare,” I grumbled.
She snatched it up and practically ran from the room. Once I heard the front door slam, I collapsed back into bed and was instantly asleep.
The sounds of snoring woke me up and I instantly felt pain everywhere. Remembering that Markwayne had just beaten the crap out of me, I shakily tried to assess the damages. My ribs hurt the worst and I could barely turn my body. Easing myself from the floor, I fought a wave of dizziness once I was fully on my feet.
Markwayne was completely passed out. After limping to my dresser, I began pulling out some clothes. After locating a duffel bag in the closet and stuffing my clothes into it, I made my way back toward the destroyed bathroom. I quickly found my necessities and tossed them in the bag. Once I’d snuck into the kitchen, I quietly lifted my keys from the counter. On the way out, I picked up my purse and hobbled to my truck.
While driving over to Momma’s, I thought about how I was finally going to be free from our loveless marriage. This was the final straw with him, and I was slightly relieved it had come to this so that I had a legitimate reason to leave him. Thankfully, we never had any children together.
When I pulled up, the lights were still on, so I didn’t feel too bad about dropping in on her.
“Momma,” I called out as I walked in the front door.
“Honey, I’m so glad ya came to se—oh my gosh! What happened to ya?”
“Markwayne roughed me up. I’m leavin’ him for good. I don’t love him anymore and haven’t for some time. Please let me stay here until I can get on my feet.”
She made her way to me so she could inspect my injuries. Deciding t
hat I didn’t need to have it looked at by a doctor, she guided me into the kitchen, gently pushing me into the chair.
“Ju Ju, I want ya to stay here as long as it takes. It ain’t in our blood to take no abuse from a man. We’re a strong breed.” Once she’d located a washcloth, she ran it under hot water and then washed away the blood around my sore nose.
After a long chat and a late supper, I headed to my old room. Momma had never gotten rid of anything from when I lived here, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotion. My room was exactly like it always had been, as if waiting for my inevitable return.
Picking up a framed picture on my dresser, I looked at the photo taken at graduation of Markwayne and me. We were both smiling, but deep down, I knew I’d never fully loved Markwayne. He’d just been the best option. The love in my heart had only ever belonged to one boy.
I walked over to my desk, picking up an old album and flipping to the page I wanted. Bobby’s brown eyes and toothy grin looked back up at me. He’d been my best friend, who had unceremoniously been yanked out of my life with barely a goodbye. I hadn’t seen him since that day, but I always thought about him and where he was.
Walking into the bathroom, I reluctantly lifted my eyes to the mirror. I gasped in shock at my appearance. My normally sexy, wavy blond hair was disheveled. Empty green eyes stared back at me. In the past, my eyes had always twinkled, but in the last several years, they’d certainly lost their luster.
It was clear that I would have two black eyes tomorrow. My nose was swollen and red, dried blood still remaining around the nostrils. Tomorrow was going to suck having to work at the diner and deal with the nosy questions of the people in this town.
Sighing, I grabbed a towel and started the hot shower, hoping that tomorrow would be better than today. This town sucked and I was seriously considering moving to a place where I could start new and be somebody more exciting and passionate.
Until then, I’d keep on trucking along.
“Bobby! I missed you so much, sweetie!” Mom gushed as she pulled me in for a hug. She was one of the few who called me Bobby. Just her and my band mates.
“I missed you too, Mom. How is your job at the casino?” I questioned. She’d recently started at a new casino as a dealer.
Sitting down at the kitchen table, she lit her cigarette and took a drag. “Oh, just like every other casino job, Bobby. It pays the bills.”
“Mom, I told you. If you need money, I would give it to you. You don’t have to work, you know. I have plenty to take care of you with.”
She waved her cigarette in the air. “No, Bobby.”
It was our routine every time we saw each other for me to offer her money and for her to decline.
“Son, I need to speak with you about something that has been bothering me,” she began, and the tone of her voice made me a little nervous. I hoped she wasn’t ill or something.
“Sure, Mom. What is it?”
Taking another long drag of her cigarette, she shakily set it down in the ashtray and looked up at me. “Your father is dying.”
Looking up at her, I fought the anger that instantly bubbled to the surface. “Who the fuck cares?” I spat at her. She flinched at my tone and I instantly felt guilty.
“Well, Bobby, I haven’t told you the entire truth of how the divorce evolved. You see, I had an affair on your father with a fella down at the 5th Street Pub. Your dad was so upset about it. We’d talked about divorce many times, but when he caught me cheating and confronted me, I took the opportunity to leave with you.”
She put out her cigarette and lit another one before she continued. Reaching over, I grabbed one for myself and took a drag while I waited.
“Bobby, I never told you because you were my baby boy. I wanted to be the better parent in your eyes even though it was my fault.”
“Mom, it still doesn’t change the fact that Dad didn’t give a shit what happened to me. We’ve been surviving just fine the last fifteen years without that deadbeat.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she snuffed out her cigarette. My own hands were shaking as I wondered where she was going with all of this.
“There were some things I never told you.” A choked sob escaped her lips.
The beating in my chest intensified. “What things, Mom?”
“For one, he always paid child support and sent money for every holiday and birthday.”
My fists tightened at her admission. “But you told me he didn’t care about us and refused to send a dime,” I whispered, my voice unsteady with anger.
As she nodded, the tears fell from their pools above her eyelids, and she stood suddenly, walking to her bedroom. A minute later, she returned with a sack full of something. Setting the sack on the table, she proceeded to pull out bundles of letters wrapped in rubber bands. There were hundreds of them. I suddenly felt very nauseated.
She searched until she found the one she was looking for and handed it over to me. Reluctantly, I accepted the letter that was addressed to me in my dad’s distinct handwriting. Ripping it open quickly, I read his letter.
Bobby,
God, I miss you so much, son. She hasn’t let me speak to you on the phone. I can only hope she is forwarding these letters to you. You guys have only been gone a week and I miss you terribly. The house is so lonely without your laughter and sweet spirit. I’ve kept your room exactly the way you like it and even added some new Star Wars posters to the wall that I hope you’ll like.
Your mother thinks it will be too hard for you to bounce back and forth between Vegas and Texas for shared custody. I’m going to fight for you in court, son. You belong here with me. June comes by every day asking when you will come back. I always tell her, “One day.” And I hope that day will be soon.
If you get this letter, please call me. I just want to tell you how much I love you. I’ll write again soon.
Daddy
My own tears fell and splashed the letter, smearing the ink. Mom sobbed loudly as she pushed the large bag full of letters to me.
“I’m so sorry, Bobby. He’s dying now, and I kept you from him. Please forgive me,” she begged, grabbing my knee.
I stood quickly, pulling from her grasp. My mind was racing and I felt completely betrayed. Wordlessly, I tossed the letter into the bag and picked it up to take them with me. As I stalked towards the front door without saying goodbye, she called out after me.
“Bobby, where are you going?”
“Texas.”
“Ju Ju, you got yourself quite the shiners! What in the world happened?” Aunt Linda asked as she tightened her apron straps. Linda was my mom’s best friend who worked with me at the diner. I was surprised Momma hadn’t told her already.
“Markwayne hit me. I’ve left him, and Momma is letting me stay with her until I can get on my feet.”
Today, my bruising was horrible. He’d really hit me hard, and I was shocked my nose wasn’t broken. The black eyes still shone through my many layers of makeup. The questions would be endless today from my customers.
“Good for you, girl. I always thought you were better than that boy. He doesn’t deserve such a pretty, smart woman. A woman like you deserves a real man, not a redneck boy.”
And this was why I loved Linda. She was always Team June, even when Momma and I had our fights. She truly was like an aunt to me.
“Thanks, Aunt Linda. I’ve got to go help that customer that just sat down,” I told her, chuckling. She grinned and swatted my bottom as I walked away.
When I got to the table, my stomach flip-flopped when I realized it was Mr. Acer, Bobby’s daddy. The man’s health seemed to have deteriorated over the past year, but today, he looked unusually sick.
“Hi there, Mr. Acer. How are you doing today? Can I get you the usual?” I chirped, hoping to elicit a smile from his gray face.
“June. You are just what the doctor ordered this morning,” he said softly. He hadn’t looked up at me yet, but he knew my voice since he was a regular. Finally, he l
ifted his eyes to me and the gray from his face disappeared as red flooded it. “What the hell, June? That boy been beatin’ up on you?” he growled.
I sighed because it was already starting. “Yes, sir. He got a good one on me, but it will be the last. I moved back in with Momma. He ain’t gettin’ another opportunity to do this again,” I promised.
The anger dissipated a bit and he smiled at me. “Good girl. I’ll take the usual.” He looked at me expectantly, and I knew what he wanted. We’d done the same song and dance for fifteen years. Even though we both hated the way it made us feel, we still needed the words.
“When’s Bobby comin’ home?” I asked, and my lip trembled like it always did. I could still see Bobby’s mischievous brown eyes looking at mine whenever I closed my eyes, and I missed them terribly, even to this day.
“One day, June.” The tears in his eyes matched my own.
Nodding at him, I went off to fetch his coffee and put in his order. My heart ached because this man would never see his son. The son whom he loved dearly. Deciding that today was just going to suck completely, I took in a shaky breath and marched forward with a smile on my face even though I felt like crawling into a hole and crying.
I managed to make it through my entire double shift without breaking down. It was embarrassing to have to move back in with your momma because your husband had beat on you. The whole thing was so country cliché.
Walking to my truck, I suddenly got the chills as I felt someone watching me. I shrieked when a hand reached out and latched on to my upper arm.
“Shit, Ju Ju! I didn’t mean to scare ya. I just want to talk to ya,” Markwayne explained as he turned me to face him. He cringed when he saw my face, and I hoped he felt guilty as hell for marking me like this.
“Don’t touch me, Markwayne. We’re over, and I already called a lawyer today on my break about filing for divorce. We aren’t happy, and last night was proof that we can no longer be together,” I spat at him. My chest was heaving from a mix of anger and anxiety.