Edge of the Rain

by Beverley Harper

  She was dressed for the bush. Khaki shorts and shirt, a bush hat and snake boots. She also had a look on her face Alex didn’t like. ‘I told you, Madison, you can’t come with me.’

  She gave an elaborate shrug. ‘You can’t stop me.’

  He walked to her. ‘You’ll only get in the way.’

  ‘Thanks for the vote of confidence.’

  Paul cleared his throat. Alex remembered his manners and introduced Madison to Paul. ‘Excuse us a minute, Madison, we’ll be right back.’ Paul dragged Alex inside.

  ‘Are you insane?’ he said, when they were out of earshot. ‘She’s stunning.’

  ‘She’s a woman.’

  ‘Ten points for noticing.’

  Alex grinned. ‘I mean, you idiot, the Kalahari is no place for her.’

  ‘She looks pretty determined.’

  ‘Yeah!’ Alex looked worried. ‘That’s Madison for you.’

  ‘Want to know what I think?’

  ‘No.’

  Paul told him anyway. ‘If you leave her here, my dear brother, when she is so obviously keen to go with you, then a man in a white coat will come and take you away.’

  Alex sighed. ‘She’ll get in the way.’

  Paul smiled. ‘So? Let her. I can’t think of a more delightful obstruction.’

  Madison poked her head around the door. ‘Am I coming or not?’

  ‘Very well,’ Alex snapped ungraciously. ‘Come if you must. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

  Behind him Paul muttered something about blind as well as stupid but Alex ignored him.

  He pushed her hard. He wanted her to get fed up and leave. He genuinely believed she was not physically equipped for such hard labour in such trying conditions. But she doggedly refused to give in, toiling alongside him in the heat and sand.

  ‘Admit it, Madison. You’re done in.’ She was lying flat on her face in the scant shade of a thorn tree.

  She raised her head. Sweat scribbled crazy lines down the grime on her face. ‘No.’ They had water but only for drinking.

  ‘Why are you doing this?’ He was leaning back against the tree, more tired than he ever remembered. They had been digging and sieving for five days.

  She managed a crooked smile. ‘Fun,’ she croaked. He realised she was more than exhausted; she was dangerously close to being dehydrated. He dragged himself up and got her some water. ‘Sit up.’ Sitting behind her he put his arms around her and she leaned back into him and drank from the cup. Her hair tickled his nose. ‘Better?’ he asked.

  ‘Thanks.’ She didn’t move away so he sat with his arms around her and rested his chin on her head.

  ‘You’re crazy, you know that?’

  She moved away finally and turned to face him. ‘It’s too hot to sit like that.’

  ‘Give in yet?’

  ‘Why do you expect me to give in?’

  He thought about it for a while. ‘Because you’re Madison Carter, I guess.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Don’t get mad.’

  ‘I’m not mad.’ She clipped her words when she was angry, he’d learned.

  ‘Look, Madison, you grew up wrapped in air-conditioning and cotton wool. You didn’t have to lift a finger if you didn’t want to. You don’t have that tough edge because you’ve never needed it. This is killing you and you’re too stubborn to admit it.’

  She scrambled up and stood, hands on hips, glaring down at him. ‘Get off your arse, Theron, there’s work to be done.’ She tramped off to where they had been collecting sand.

  He shook his head and followed her. She had to be crazy. But he bent his back to the task, merely commenting, ‘The cats are back.’

  She didn’t even glance to where the lions lay. They arrived every afternoon, one male and three females, and took refuge from the heat under the vehicles. From there they indolently observed Alex and Madison, never approaching them, simply watching. They were like oversized house cats and just as elegantly indifferent.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said. He knew she would ignore him until he apologised.

  ‘You . . .’ she said through gritted teeth, ‘. . . have a hell of a lot to learn about women.’ She passed him a sample bag.

  ‘Oh yeah?’ he replied, hot and irritated. ‘I suppose you think you can teach me.’

  She flung the sample bag down, making him spill the sand he was pouring into it. ‘Grow up, Madison, for Christ’s sake.’

  ‘Piss off,’ she hissed at him. She turned on her heel and headed towards her tent. The big black-maned lion growled a warning as she passed. ‘And you can piss off too,’ she growled back. The tent flap snapped shut as effectively as a slammed door.

  Alex stared down at the spilled sand. Something glinted up at him. Bending, he picked it out of the sand and held it to the sky. It was a small, worn garnet crystal. He pushed his finger through the sample. ‘Christ!’ he shouted. ‘Madison, come and see this.’

  Working a planned grid, they began to find indicators in all their samples. At first, no more than a dozen in each but, as they worked their grid further away from the tents, there were hundreds and then thousands of broken and worn garnets and ilmenites appearing in each sample.

  ‘We’ll have to dig inspection pits,’ Alex said, after counting five consecutive samples, each carrying in excess of 1500 indicators.

  ‘How deep?’ Madison wiped sweat.

  ‘Until we hit the gravel.’ Alex pulled a face. ‘It won’t be easy but that’s where the diamonds are.’

  ‘That could be thirty feet down.’

  ‘We have to try.’

  She groaned.

  ‘No-one’s forcing you to stay.’

  ‘Will you stop that,’ she yelled at him. ‘Have you any idea how bloody insulting it is to have you continually trying to get rid of me?’

  ‘Have you any idea how bloody frustrating it is to watch you work yourself into a stupor each day out of nothing more than pride?’ he yelled back. ‘For God’s sake, Madison, I’m not trying to get rid of you, I care about you. You’ve earned your keep. If I find anything you’ll get half.’

  ‘Is that what you think?’ She bit off each word. ‘That I’m in this for the money? Is that it?’

  ‘Why else would you be suffering out here every day? It’s why I’m doing it.’

  Her eyes glinted angrily. ‘My job starts next week. I’ll leave at the weekend. I don’t want half. Keep your bloody money, it’s all you care about.’

  ‘That’s not fair. Look, I’m sorry. I can see how exhausted you are.’ Angry eyes stared through him. ‘Ah, to hell with it. Do what you like, you will anyway.’

  He knew their constant bickering was due to frustration at not finding diamonds and the intensely uncomfortable living conditions. Even so, he could have done without it and looked forward to Saturday when she returned to Gaborone.

  They didn’t fight all the time. In the cool of the evenings, watching the stars or, on a couple of occasions, stunning lightning storms, they found peace with each other and their environment. Madison, he discovered, was one of those rare people who didn’t try to fill silences with words. She was comfortable with her own thoughts and happy to leave him to his. And she never asked what he was thinking. He liked that.

  ‘A man’s thoughts belong to him alone. To ask what he thinks is very rude. He may not wish to tell you and then he must lie. Lying makes him uncomfortable. Good friends should not do this to each other.’ Out here, under the stars, it was easy to remember the words of !Ka. He often shared those memories with Madison and she listened. In the silence of the desert, he could feel her interest.

  Two days before she left, they found diamonds. They were sitting facing each other, sifting through samples. More to keep their minds off the heat than anything else, Alex asked, ‘Why did you fall out with your father?’

  She rattled her sieve. ‘You don’t want to know.’

  Alex looked at her head bent over the sieve. She had one of his handker
chiefs tied around her head, keeping her hair back from her face. She looked like a gypsy. ‘Yes I do.’ He found he did. He was learning a great deal about her but he had the feeling she was hiding something.

  She carefully put down the sieve. Raising her eyes to his he saw fear. ‘What is it, Madison?’ he asked gently.

  ‘It’s between him and me.’ She ran her fingers through the sand in the sieve, took a deep breath and said, ‘Oh to hell with it, you might as well know.’

  ‘Only if you want to tell me.’

  Her eyes searched his. ‘I tried to tell you once before. The day you told me you wanted to marry Chrissy.’

  He remembered. ‘You were as jumpy as a cat that day. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong but I had the feeling I had hurt you somehow.’

  She gave a lopsided grin. ‘I probably had it coming. I behaved like a bitch that night we . . . well, you know.’

  ‘Made love?’ He looked at her soberly. ‘You were bloody horrible afterwards.’ He hesitated. ‘I did hurt you, didn’t I? Talk to me, Madison. What did I do?’

  Her eyes were still searching his. She wanted reassurance but he didn’t know why. So he said, ‘I would never knowingly hurt you. Back then, that night, it was just so good. I’d always been attracted to you but I always seemed to make you angry. When we had that fight after being so . . . well . . . close I just figured I’d never be able to please you.’

  She worried a chipped fingernail with her teeth. Spitting a piece of nail onto the sand she said, ‘I was a spoilt brat.’

  ‘True.’ He grinned to soften the truth.

  She glared at him. ‘I was Daddy’s little princess.’

  ‘Is this confession hard to make?’ He was teasing her.

  She swiped at him, deliberately missing. ‘If you don’t shut-up I’ll bloody-well brain you.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘No you’re not.’

  ‘Okay, I’m not sorry.’

  ‘Truth, Theron. Stick to it.’ She rubbed impatiently at the perspiration on her forehead. ‘This is just as hard as I thought it would be.’

  ‘You just told me to stick to the truth. Why don’t you try it?’

  ‘I’m not sure how you’ll take it.’

  ‘I’m a big boy. I’m not violent and I’m a nice guy. Just spit it out.’

  She looked at him seriously. ‘My father believed that no-one was ever good enough for me.’

  ‘And you went along with it.’

  ‘Until that night, yes.’

  ‘What changed your mind. I mean, why me?’ It was a question he had often asked himself.

  ‘When he admitted what he’d done to you my life fell apart. I’d always idolised him. I knew he had faults but what he did to you. . . well. . . they were the actions of a stranger.’

  Alex waited, saying nothing.

  ‘I still didn’t like you much. Daddy saw to that. I never realised until that night just how much he’d influenced me. When you were talking about the Bushmen it suddenly struck me that my father was wrong about you.’

  ‘You grew up.’

  ‘In more ways than one,’ she said crisply.

  He opened his mouth and she added, ‘Don’t you dare apologise.’ He snapped his mouth shut. She grinned at him. ‘I didn’t intend to go to bed with you. That sort of just happened.’

  ‘Okay, I don’t apologise but I’d like to know—do you regret it?’

  She thought about it. ‘Hell no,’ she said wickedly. ‘Compared to stories other girls told me, I was lucky.’

  ‘Thanks,’ he said drily. She was making fun of him and he didn’t mind. Two could play that game. ‘As virgins go, you weren’t bad either.’

  He held his breath but all she did was throw back her head and laugh. She had an earthy laugh, as though she had just been told a very funny dirty joke.

  ‘Touché!’ she said finally.

  ‘So what happened with your father?’ he asked. ‘Did he find out about it?’

  The fear came back to her eyes. ‘Yes and no,’ she said finally. ‘He didn’t find out, I told him. You see, Alex, I got pregnant that night.’

  If she’d kicked him in the guts his reaction would have been the same. Pregnant! ‘My God, Madison, why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘I couldn’t. I’d behaved so badly. I thought you hated me. I told Daddy.’

  ‘Jesus!’

  ‘I didn’t tell him who the father was, just that I was pregnant.’

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘He threw me out,’ she said bitterly. ‘Just when I needed him most.’ She gave a hard laugh. ‘That was when I realised I didn’t really know him.’

  He wanted to reach out and take her hand but he sensed she would resist. Proud and brave, she would hold herself to herself until her story was told. Then she would look at his face to see his reaction.

  ‘Mummy helped,’ she continued. ‘She has money of her own. She said I should go to Europe as planned. Everyone would think I was at finishing school. A couple of weeks before I left I saw you at the club.’

  ‘And you tried to tell me.’ He remembered how she had said that he and she must talk. At the time he believed she meant she wanted to talk about her father.

  ‘It was a spur of the moment thing.’ She managed a small smile. ‘I’ve often wondered what you’d have done.’

  Alex knew that in some strange way she needed reassurance. He also realised she would see through a lie. The truth, once he started to speak, came easily.

  ‘I was half in love with you before that night. After our fight I believed you hated me. Then I met Chrissy.’ He looked at her quizzically and she stared back, giving no clue to her thoughts. ‘This may be a little hard on the ego, Madison, but, compared to you, Chrissy was rather easy to love.’ Have I gone too far? She was still staring at him. ‘I don’t know now what I’d have done quite frankly. All I can say for certain is that I would not have turned my back on you.’

  ‘Thank you,’ she said with great sincerity. ‘Thank you for not lying.’

  He asked the question burning in his heart. ‘Where is our child now?’ It was an odd feeling, to know he was a father.

  A tear slid down her cheek, following a crazy sweat pattern. ‘I miscarried at ten weeks.’

  The enormity of what she had gone through hit him. Brave, frightened, alone and far from home, she had faced the consequences of their actions. ‘Madison,’ he said softly, ‘I am so sorry.’

  She bit her lip. ‘What about?’

  He knew what she was asking. ‘Everything. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. I’m sorry you lost the baby. I’m sorry about your father.’ He stretched out his hand and gently brushed the tear off her face. ‘I wish I had known.’

  She gave him a watery smile. ‘When I recovered I went into finishing school as planned. I swore I’d never tell you.’

  He picked up her hand. ‘I’m very glad you did.’

  She smiled at him. ‘We have work to do.’

  It hit him then how vulnerable she was. Vulnerable, and needing to know that their friendship was still intact. ‘You’re a bloody slave-driver.’ He grinned at her.

  ‘Compared to you, chum, I don’t even come close.’ She picked up the sieve and shook it. ‘I think I’ll get a job in the salt mines of Siberia for a holiday.’

  He took the sieve from her. ‘I didn’t think you had it in you. I was trying to spare you the hard work.’

  ‘How?’ She snatched back the sieve. ‘By making me work harder?’

  ‘I didn’t expect you to last. You’ve got more grit than this bloody desert.’

  ‘Yeah well . . .’ she rattled the sieve. ‘I’m not just a pretty face you know.’

  He laughed. ‘Lady, you sure as hell aren’t pretty at the moment.’ When she smiled he added, ‘I’d like to talk more about all this. I’ll even talk about your father if you like. I can see now why you needed to speak about the beating.’

  ‘I’ll say this for you, Theron, your reacti
ons could use a little oiling.’

  He pulled a face at her. ‘Okay, so I’m a bit slow. How about tonight? We can thrash it around then.’

  ‘Your fire or mine?’

  ‘Hell, if it’s that hard forget it.’

  They laughed together and Alex felt a rush of pleasure that, after all this time, he and Madison were friends. He emptied a bag between them and there they were, just as N!ou had said, just as Alex had always believed them to be. Diamonds! One was the size of a cherry.

  As if in a daze he picked it up. ‘Look,’ he whispered.

  She reached out and took it. He noticed how dirt encrusted her hand was, how broken the nails. He looked past the stone and saw her grimy, sweat-streaked face, rumpled and stained clothes. She was smiling at the stone and her teeth were startling white against the grime of her face. Mosquito bites stood out on her arms and neck. He stretched out his arm and placed his hand around hers. He saw her eyes focus off the stone and onto his face. ‘Madison.’

  The force with which it hit him nearly took his breath away. He was in love with her. ‘Madison.’

  She turned her head away, frowning. Then he heard it too. Vehicles were approaching. They stood side by side, waiting. Two Botswana Police vehicles lumbered up to the camp.

  ‘Mr Theron?’ A young, fresh faced English policeman who, even out in the desert, looked crisp and cool, came to meet him.

  ‘Pa,’ Alex thought. ‘Has something happened to my father?’ he asked.

  The policeman shook his head. ‘I don’t know anything about your father. I’m placing you under arrest.’

  ‘Arrest! Why?’ Madison demanded.

  ‘Not you, Miss Carter. Him. Trespassing and illegal prospecting with intent to steal government property.’ The policeman looked back at his vehicle. The other man in it, and both men in the second vehicle, looked impassively back. He was doing all right on his own, let him get on with it. The young policeman shrugged and turned back. ‘You are not obliged to say anything but it is my duty to warn you that anything you do say will be taken down and may be used in evidence against you.’

  Alex relaxed and even smiled. ‘You’re mistaken, officer. I’m afraid you’ve made this trip for nothing. I have a licence.’