Beware the Ranger

by Debra Holt

  “I have something to say, Kat, and I need you to listen and not interrupt.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “I’m here to apologize. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. But I guess I let things get a little out of hand that night in the barn. And since then, I’ve given you the wrong impression—about things—about us.” He ventured a look and he saw the smile completely fade. A look akin to panic came into her eyes. Make it quick.

  Her voice was low as she fixed him in her gaze. “What about us?”

  “There isn’t going to be an ‘us’.” The words were out. Clay saw them hit their mark. It felt like a knife blade had gone into his own chest when he saw the look that crossed her face. Clay watched her fight to keep her chin up.

  “I see.”

  “It was my fault that I let things get out of hand these past weeks, especially the other night. I guess the moonlight and that dress and, well, everything that night. It just made me do something that I…”

  “Regret.” She finished for him.

  He was about to say “shouldn’t have” but if that thought could make her believe him at that moment, then Clay would just let it stand.

  Kaitlyn stood as still as a statue. Her eyes grew bigger in her face, which had gone visibly pale, until they were glittering with unshed tears.

  Clay hated himself in that moment. “Look, Kat, I have plans for my life and being tied down right now just isn’t one of them. You still have some growing up to do. They’ll be other boys that you’ll have crushes on.”

  “Crush? Is that what you think I have? That this was just a crush on you? And what about you? You said you loved me. You said you wanted us to be together always.”

  “Things were pretty hot and heavy that night in the barn. I wasn’t thinking straight; no man could with you standing there like you were. I’m just glad that owl made an entrance when it did. No telling what else I might have said or done.” Clay despised himself for the callous sounding words, but he had to make her want to let go of him. She had to not care if she ever saw him again. It was best for her.

  “So it was just lust… not love,” she whispered, her voice breaking on the last word.

  “You can’t blame me for being a man. You offered and I took. Simple as that.”

  A single tear escaped down her cheek and she hastily swiped it away, trying to put up a valiant front. The sight of that tear and Clay knew how it felt to be gut punched.

  “No. It’s not your fault. You’re right. I’m just a silly school girl with a crush. What do I know about love? It’s a crush. I’ll grow out of it.” She turned away from him then, moving slowly toward the house.

  “Kat… Kaitlyn.” He spoke up, not able to let her go, yet knowing he had to. She paused for a moment, but did not turn. Her slender shoulders drew themselves up in a show of resolve. Her voice cut him to shreds even though it was just above a whisper.

  “Goodbye, Clay. I hope you have a good life… the life you want.” She never looked back. The sound of the door closing behind her, shutting him out—that sound he still carried in the recesses of his mind. It had been the sound of a heart breaking in half… his.

  *

  That was not the last time he saw her before she left town. Kaitlyn never knew it, but two days later, he stood across the street from the bus station, hidden from her view by a huge oak. Clay should have stayed away, but he had to see her. He had to see her take the final steps that would take her away from him. Maybe he was hoping she would not show for the bus. Maybe she would defy them all and stay. Clay didn’t know. But that thought was but momentary when he saw the dusty gray truck pull in and park. Watching in silence as she and her grandmother shared a final hug, his breathing came with difficulty as she placed her foot on the first step of the bus. Kaitlyn had hesitated for a moment. He saw her turn and cast a quick look behind her. He moved further behind the tree. When he next ventured a look, the doors were closing and she was gone from his sight. The bus ground into gear and slowly pulled out of the drive and onto the street. Clay watched as it lumbered away, slowed at the blinking light, then turned the corner and disappeared. Kaitlyn had gone. He had simply been placing one foot in front of the other… marking time since that day. That much had been made obvious by her return.

  Slowly, his thoughts returned to the present. The past had its lessons learned. The future was hidden from view. His thumb moved slowly over the glass and a deep sigh of regret escaped him. Turning the frame over, he replaced it inside the drawer. Switching off the desk lamp, he rose from his chair. Another sleepless night lay before him. Tomorrow would be one more day closer to losing her all over again.

  Chapter Eleven

  “You look like hell,” Angie said with the truthfulness only a best friend could get away with.

  Coming into Kaitlyn’s room the next morning, she brought a glass of orange juice to her sleep-tousled friend. Kaitlyn was still in the middle of her bed, the covers looked as though she had fought them all night and lost the battle.

  “Thanks a bunch, Miss Sunshine.” Kaitlyn managed, taking the offered glass.

  Angie plopped on the bed beside her. “So I take it by the looks of those circles under your eyes that things did not go as one might have hoped when I left you and Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome, alone last night? What did you do or say this time?”

  Kaitlyn watched Angie over the edge of her glass as she took another sip, counting slowly in her brain to keep from saying the wrong thing.

  “I think I warned you about letting your imagination run wild. Stop reading those romance novels.” Kaitlyn set the glass on the bedside table as she sat straighter on the bed.

  “I read those romance novels because there are few opportunities for real romance in my everyday life. I live vicariously through characters on a page of paper. Which I wouldn’t have to do if you would, as my dearest friend, just find Mr. Right and start to live happily ever after.”

  “First of all, I am not a science experiment or lab rat in some romance scenario running rampant in that brain of yours. Second, why don’t you take your head out of your sketchpad long enough and find your own Mr. Right and let the rest of us have some peace?”

  Angie studied the question for a second or two before making her reply with a shake of her head. “No… nope, I much rather think I am more suited to play the part of the fairy godmother in Cinderella… with a really killer dress of course… which I would design. And then be a smashing Auntie Angie to a darling little one that I could spoil and then send back home to you.”

  “You know, your mind is a scary place at times.”

  “Thank you… now get a move on.” Angie gave her a playful kick of her bare foot as she rose from her seat. “Edie has a great breakfast almost ready to eat and Clay’s taking us to the hospital in a couple of hours.”

  Clay was taking them to the hospital? That thought darkened the daylight for a moment. She still hadn’t worked it all out in her mind as to how things had gone the evening before. The kiss. Why had he done it? Did she wish he hadn’t? Why did she respond so automatically with all those feelings she had buried? Because she hadn’t really buried them? She had just fooled herself? Maybe the past wasn’t done with yet? So many questions and so very few answers had come to her. Somewhere around dawn, she had made a flimsy cease-fire with her brain and her feelings. Not so much out of the need for sleep, but out of the need to try to find a way to gain perspective before she faced the man again. There was one overriding fact in the matter… she would soon be gone from McKenna Springs. They would never have to see each other again. She had her life and he had his. Why didn’t that thought bring any comfort? She was a young girl before. Now she was a woman… a woman who still felt betrayed.

  No matter what, there would be no forgetting on her part how he had played her for a fool. He had taken advantage of the heart she had given him. Okay, so maybe he had not been in love with her. It hurt to acknowledge that to herself. Otherwise, how could he have le
t her go so easily… even if her grandmother had begged him? Well, people suffered broken hearts every day and managed to still go on with life. What was making it so hard for her to let go?

  The need for answers to bring a conclusion? Why would he play with her in such a way? Because he could? It just didn’t make sense. She would have sworn on her life Clay Morgan was a man of his word, a man to be counted on to always be there, a man to uphold honesty at all costs. Her mind told her it was time to move past all the old hurt and pain. She had been young. It was clear he had not felt what she had. If he had, he couldn’t have also been fooling around with another girl at the same time. It was hard to get past that fact and especially so when faced with the child that was a constant reminder Clay’s heart had belonged elsewhere. She couldn’t fault him for a being a man when faced with a naked female before him, throwing herself at him. How did she expect him to react? The fact she had read something else altogether different into his reaction—that was her naivety. Naturally, she had been embarrassed. That was her inexperienced youth. Bottom line, it was the past. She was a grown woman of the world. It was useless to hang on to the anger and pain from so long ago and allow it to color the present.

  No matter when all was said and done, it had been him who had walked away, not her. He had made the choice. He had not chosen her. He had not fought for them. Life had been full of changes and choices for both of them. He chose his path and she hers. He was a father with a son to raise. She had a career most people would die for. They weren’t going in the same direction.

  The photograph was the most perplexing of all. Kaitlyn could not imagine why he would still have it after all this time. She had to admit deep down, she was glad he did. She was glad there was a little reminder of her in this house. Her dream house had turned out to be all she had envisioned it to be. If she were totally truthful, she was glad one of them was living in it.

  Where do we go from here? Kaitlyn wasn’t sure but she needed to try and find a middle ground with him for all their sakes, especially her grandmother. It was clear Georgia had made peace with him for whatever reason a while ago. There was also something else she couldn’t ignore. Even though they had parted badly, there had been a lot of really good times before the end had come. Those memories had been made fresh as they walked the streets of McKenna Springs yesterday. They shared a past. They had laughed and teased and been happy—once upon a time. Maybe that was what she needed to focus on for the remainder of her time with him. The time would grow shorter each day. Surely they could be civil enough to behave like adults? The idea began to grow. She would try her best to be a pleasant houseguest. It might not be the easiest thing to do, but it was the best thing. How hard could it be?

  *

  Kaitlyn chose to wear a sleeveless teal colored tunic over a pair of slim-legged jeans with a pair of comfy espadrilles on her feet. She wound her hair up on top of her head in a semi-casual, semi-chic topknot with a few wisps trailing around her neck. The day would heat up and the soft gossamer material of the tunic with its camisole underneath would be cool and comfortable. Tiny gold studs were her last addition before she came down to the kitchen. She was determined to be pleasant and start over with a clean slate… or at least one that didn’t have too much writing on it! Bottom line… try.

  “My sense of smell led me straight here,” she stated, pushing through the swinging doorway to pause on the threshold when she saw Angie seated at the bar… next to Clay. Joshua was on his other side. Play it cool… like an adult. She hoped the smile on her face looked more natural than it felt. Once Joshua turned his megawatt grin on her, she forgot the rest and responded in kind. He really was an engaging young boy.

  “It tastes good too, Miss Russell.” The boy chimed in. “There’s a seat here next to me if you want.”

  “That sounds like a winner to me,” she replied, sliding onto the bar chair. She reached for the coffee carafe first, filling her mug. Edie appeared at her elbow with a covered basket and sat it in front of her plate.

  “Oh, my.” Kaitlyn breathed in the scent. “That wouldn’t be homemade buttermilk biscuits would it?”

  “It would. And there’s this fabulous gravy to go along with them,” Angie added, her plate already full.

  Kaitlyn soon began to fill her own plate with eggs and a sausage patty and then the biscuits came last.

  “Homemade cream gravy… how long has it been since I tasted that?”

  “Something you can’t get in New York?” Clay’s question came benignly enough and while the others might not note the subtle undercurrent in his tone, Kaitlyn was well aware of it and his meaning. He had not gotten past their last conversation evidently. Take the high road.

  She didn’t venture a glance in his direction as she replied, intent on stirring her coffee. “I’m sure you can get it, it just might lose something in the translation.”

  “Well, this is wonderful,” Angie added. “How do you get it to not have lumps and the flavor is really good, too.”

  “It’s all in the stirring and adding of the flour to the bacon grease, and then the milk.” Edie beamed.

  “Bacon grease?” Angie paused between bites, her eyes on the gravy.

  “Yes, Angie, there is bacon grease in it and you’re eating the taboo food.” Kaitlyn couldn’t hold back the amusement in her voice.

  There was a pause, and then Angie shrugged, her fork going back for another bite. “Let my runway models worry about calories, I’ll be the fat and happy designer in the corner.” Laughter did ease the tense air.

  “I wanted to go to the hospital today,” Joshua said, turning to face her in his chair. “But my dad says I have to go to school instead. We have early dismissal today because it’s the last week of school before spring break and all. So I wouldn’t miss that many classes.”

  Kaitlyn sensed Clay’s tensing without looking in his direction. She nodded at the little boy. “I can understand that. But, first of all, I don’t think they even allow children your age on that floor of the hospital. You wouldn’t be able to see Gran at all. It could even upset her if she thought she was the reason for you missing a day of school. Do you think she’d be happy about that?”

  Slowly, he nodded in agreement after a couple of moments of contemplation. “I guess not. She’s always telling me to make the best grades I can.”

  “Speaking of school, you best get a move on or you’ll miss the bus. Your lunch is on the cabinet,” Edie said, beginning to load the dishwasher.

  “Yes, ma’am.” The boy grabbed the bag and then stopped beside Kaitlyn’s chair before leaving the room. “You’ll still be here on Friday, right?”

  “Well, I really don’t know Joshua.” She wasn’t sure where his questioning was headed so tried to tread carefully in case the man now waiting at the doorway had a problem. “Why do you ask?”

  “That’s our field day and picnic, before our spring break begins. It would really be neat if you all could come to it. I’m entered in a couple of races.”

  “Our guests will probably need to be on their way by then, Joshua, let’s get a move on.” Clay added, “We’ll leave for the hospital in an hour.”

  She wanted to hit Clay over the head with something really heavy at that moment. The crestfallen look on the boy’s face cut into her heart. It would serve the man right if she turned the tables and agreed to stay. But then he clearly hoped to be rid of her as soon as possible. Kaitlyn remained silent and Joshua followed after his father.

  *

  “I’m surprised Clay changed his plans about bringing us to the hospital,” Angie remarked, as they stepped into the elevator. “I know he seemed pretty determined to be here for the procedure.” Her eyes lit on Kaitlyn’s face. “Wait a minute… he did change his plans right? He did know you were coming to the hospital in your car?”

  “I don’t have to let him know my plans, Angie. My car arrived yesterday afternoon and there’s no reason we should be dependent on him for transport. McKenna Springs is not tha
t difficult to navigate. I did live here, you may recall.” Kaitlyn stepped out of the elevator ahead of Angie, hoping to have a change of subject.

  Angie was having none of it as she caught up to her in wide hallway. “That’s beside the point. Although, for the record, you didn’t fool me with that ‘taking a little scenic tour’ excuse of yours when we went around the same block three times before getting here. You guys need to give this… whatever this is between you two… a rest… call a truce. Or kiss and make up. That would be even better.”

  Kaitlyn stopped outside her grandmother’s door. “For the last time, there is nothing between us and kissing is definitely not a solution to anything.”

  “I would disagree with that statement.” The door had swung open at the moment Kaitlyn spoke and Clay stood looking at her, an amused smile on his face that didn’t quite meet his gaze. “But that’s for another time and place. They’re about to take Georgia upstairs.” He held the door open for them to step into the room.

  Kaitlyn kept her focus on the woman in the wheelchair in the center of the room. How had he beaten them to the hospital?

  “Shouldn’t you be in the bed?” Kaitlyn leaned down and the two shared a warm hug. Then she stepped aside for Angie to do the same.

  “It’s so good to see you again, Angie,” Georgia beamed at the girl. “I trust you’re keeping my granddaughter out of trouble?”

  Angie shook her head. “I’m afraid that’s a full-time job. You need to hurry and get out of here and take over for me. I’m about worn out.”

  “I’m doing my best to get out of here. In the meantime, could I have a word with Kaitlyn before they haul me away?”

  “We’ll be in the waiting room.” Clay stepped forward and gave the woman a quick kiss on her proffered cheek. Angie added another hug. The door whispered shut behind them.

  “Sit down for a moment,” Georgia said, nodding toward the edge of the bed.

  Kaitlyn did as she was asked, a feeling of dread knotting in her stomach. “Is there something wrong? Something you aren’t telling me?”