Hollywood Ever After

by Sasha Summers

  Will, who was curled up in my lap, sat up. “What’s that? That tall thing there?”

  “That’s Big Ben, Will. A grand old clock that’s been ticking since 1859.” Nathan added, “Which is quite a bit older than me.”

  Will looked at Nathan with wide blue eyes. “Is that very old?”

  Helen smiled. “It is. Ancient, actually.”

  Josh chuckled.

  The speaker crackled and the tour guide began imparting information about Big Ben and the Palace of Westminster. While Natalie and Helen squeezed together under the thick blanket Nathan had brought with him, I made sure Will was covered under Josh’s jacket.

  The sun setting over the Thames was an amazing sight. Fingers of red and gold seemed to be retreating toward the river’s edge, going to bed for the night.

  “Quite a day,” Nathan said, smiling at us. It had been a wonderful day.

  Tea had been delightful. No stuffy tea-rooms, no polished silver or china cups had been required. Our tea had been served in the park from a thermos into small Styrofoam cups. He’d been thoughtful enough to bring hot chocolate for Will, too. Will was an instant fan of the older Mr. Wiley.

  “I’m afraid Helen and I live in a somewhat snug flat. Though it’s a bit roomier now that Josh has left us, it’s still a tight fit. We’d be in a miserable bind attempting tea there.”

  But the park had been wonderful. We’d all played hide and seek and thoroughly enjoyed our time together.

  After tea, we decided to explore the borough of Southwark. This was where Nathan lived and worked and Josh had grown up. Once we’d explored a bit, we’d headed back to the city proper and boarded a red double-decker bus. Conversation had been constant, pausing only long enough for our tour guide to reveal the factoids of each sight.

  “Josh tells me you’re looking for a new place to call home?” Nathan asked.

  I nodded. “There’s no rush, but yes, I’m looking.”

  “We’ve a cottage sitting empty. It’s delightful, really, with a little garden and paths for long romps through that part of the country. It might be a good temporary fix for you and the children. Ever thought about an international move?”

  All eyes turned on me. “Um, no. It never crossed my mind.” Josh looked at my hands, clasped in his.

  “Why not?” Natalie asked.

  I stared at her. “I wouldn’t know where to start, Nat. I know the schools are different and there are citizenship issues and—”

  “You do have to wear uniforms to school, Nat,” Helen added mournfully. Josh and Nathan burst out laughing.

  “What kind of uniform?” Will asked.

  “Something plain. Mine was blue pants, white shirt, and striped ties. I had a blue jacket and a blue sweater vest when it was cold,” Josh said softly, running a hand through Will’s hair.

  “Oh, I was hoping it would be more like a policeman’s uniform or a soldier’s uniform or…” Will faded off as he rested his cheek against my chest again.

  As we drove closer to the hotel, Josh leaned closer to murmur, “Your mum mentioned heading to Brighton for a few days, to visit some friends?”

  “Girlfriends from Dad’s military days,” I said. “She should.”

  “She mentioned taking the children with her.” He paused. “And if they did go, I wondered if you’d come with me to Stratford. Visit the cottage? It’s rather sad, sitting empty when you and I might use it. Stratford is a lovely village, too.”

  I stared up at him, warming from the inside. “I’m not sure. Not about going with you, but what Mom’s plans are.”

  He smiled. “Let’s find out.”

  By the time we reached our room, Will was sleeping soundly in Josh’s arms. We tucked him in, laughing softly when he didn’t stir.

  Since Helen and Nathan had bid us goodnight at the bus stop, Natalie decided she would read for a bit and keep Grams company.

  My mother smiled up at me from the settee, her knitting basket at her feet. “You two go out, Claire. We’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah, Mom. You and Josh should have some couple time.” Natalie smiled at us before settling onto the settee by her grandmother and opening her book.

  Then I saw them. A huge bouquet of white roses sat on the table, tied up with a bow. There was also a box of fruit pastilles, too.

  A candy Will had discovered here in England. You couldn’t get them in the States.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  I couldn’t think.

  “Those were here when we got home. I guess the front desk delivered them?” My mother glanced at me then hesitated.

  How did Daniel know?

  I knew Mom was watching me, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. So I tried to smooth my face, tried not to look like I was going to fall apart.

  Josh glanced at the flowers then stared at me. He touched my cheek before he moved toward the table, his jaw rigid.

  “Natalie, I left my other needles in the bag in the bottom of my closet,” my mother said.

  Natalie dropped her book on the settee. “I’ll get them, Grams.” She slipped, blissfully unaware, from the room.

  Josh pulled the note from the bouquet. “He’s been sending these to you, hasn’t he?”

  “Who?” My mother looked at the flowers, confused. “I thought you said the others were a mistake.”

  I fought to maintain control, biting my lip to keep it from quivering. Apparently I didn’t do a very good job.

  My mother’s eyes widened as she stared at me. She stiffened, turning red as she gripped her knitting. “Oh, Claire.”

  Josh looked at the card. “May I?” I nodded, unable to pull air into my lungs.

  How could Daniel know about the candy? How could he know? I hugged myself as fear started flooding my limbs.

  He opened the card and read it. “It’s from the hotel. Apparently Will made quite an impression on the manager this morning?”

  Air filled my lungs. “Really?” My heart was beating again, throbbing as it tried to settle into a regular rhythm again.

  Josh smiled, his forehead wrinkling in concern. He held the card out to me and nodded.

  “Well, that was a little too stressful for my liking. I need a drink.” My mother sat down on the settee as Natalie appeared.

  “I couldn’t find them anywhere, Grams…” She paused and looked at the knitting bag on the floor by the settee. “Aren’t those your other set?”

  My mother leaned forward. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. They were right there all along.”

  Josh’s eyes hadn’t left my face. I knew my fear was evident, I could feel it. I was completely embarrassed by my own over-the-top reaction. To flowers from the front desk for Will, no less. I was feeling more than a little ridiculous.

  Josh smiled, his eyes warm and encouraging on my face. “Up for a stroll?”

  I nodded.

  His hand took mine and we waved goodbye before heading out into the crisp night air. We made our way to the lobby before he asked, “The flowers, the ones you received weren’t an accident. They were from him, weren’t they?”

  “Yes.”

  “Has he sent you anything else?” He glanced at me, his voice gentle.

  I shook my head. “Only flowers each morning. I’ve had the doorman take them away immediately.”

  “You should have told me. I want you to tell me, Claire, when something’s troubling you. I might not be able to fix it, but I can share your burdens so you don’t feel so alone.”

  I squeezed his hand, but didn’t say anything. I was mortified that I’d let myself get so upset. I hated that I still gave Daniel that kind of power over me.

  We set off on one of the winding paths of Green Park, but Josh pulled me toward a bench situated under one of the huge trees that made this park so lovely. He sat, quirked an eyebrow, and patted the bench beside him in invitation. I sat and smiled up at him. His hand captured my face, pulling me close to kiss me softly. His eyes were velvet as he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned in
to him and his warmth.

  He rested his cheek on my head. “You smell good,” he murmured into my hair.

  “You’re trying to cheer me up.”

  “Possibly. But there’s also the fact that you smell good.” He kissed my forehead.

  “I thought we were going for a walk?” I looked up at him.

  “It’s cold. And I was hoping you’d let me hold you for a bit.” His voice was soft.

  I smiled. “I suppose I can do that.”

  He was watching me curiously, almost uncertainly. “Arthur said you found my emails?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  His smile grew hesitant. “Oh?” He regarded me carefully. “What did you think?”

  “You’re a gifted poet. They’re lyrics?”

  “Yes, they could be, if I were to write music to accompany them. I’m glad you like them.” He laughed softly. “I’ve been writing non-stop. I suppose you’re not just Shannon’s muse.”

  “That’s very sweet.”

  “You’ve told me I was sweet before.” His eyes were heavy on me, his fingers coming to trace the side of my face.

  I closed my eyes, his touch affecting me powerfully. I found myself turning into his hand, kissing his palm.

  “I can’t seem to stop touching you.” His voice was rough. “I want to kiss you right now.”

  “Those words sound familiar, too.” I let my eyes linger on his lips. I wanted him to kiss me.

  His fingers continued to trace my mouth, his eyes mesmerized by their movement. He lifted his hand, taking mine in his. “Claire, I’d like Meg to issue a statement about our relationship.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “There’s an element of secrecy to us. I’d like to change that, for the two of us to go public.” His eyes were searching again.

  “Public?”

  A very slow smile spread across his face, leaving me at a loss. “Claire, I want you.”

  “You have me.” I held his hand to my face. “I’m here.”

  “And I know I should be happy with that. I’m selfish, remember? I want more.”

  “What does more mean?” My chest felt heavy.

  “I want you to be mine. Not just here, when we’re alone. But in front of everyone.” He was serious.

  “It’s not just me, you know.”

  “Your children are wonderful. I like them very much.”

  “But your career. Your family. How is your making a statement about us being involved a good thing? I mean, I’m older than you. I have some baggage…okay, lots of baggage. I’m kind of a PR nightmare for your image.”

  Josh tried not to, but he laughed anyway. “You’re worried about my image?”

  I took a deep breath. “A bit, yes.”

  “You’re worried about press, my image, and my family’s opinion. But not about us—you and me?”

  I stared at him, trying to find the right words. “When I’m with you, it seems clear. Everything feels right and good.” He kissed me quickly, holding me tight. “But then the rest of the world enters the picture and nothing about this makes any sense. I think issuing a statement will only tip the scales in favor of us not making sense.”

  He tilted my chin up so that I was meeting his eyes again. “I love you. There hasn’t been an hour in every day since we’ve met when you haven’t been in my head and in my heart. I know without a doubt that what I want, my future, is right here.” His hands tightened around mine, his brow furrowing. “I understand that until you know what you want, we should be more careful in front of the children. It’s difficult because I already feel…connected to them, too.” His eyes were searching again, intense and anxious.

  My heart raced. I tried to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions and words spinning through my head. What he was saying was more than I’d ever thought to hear. And yet I held back. I felt like I had to.

  “Josh, most people can’t declare their feelings after such a short time with the absolute certainty with which you do.” My hand squeezed his. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I was scared. How could my loving him be a good thing for him? “I’m here, with you, with my children.”

  His arm came around me, holding me close to him, his eyes not quite peaceful. I was shaking in his arms, I wasn’t sure why. I knew what he wanted me to say, knew that I wanted to say it. But I was too scared to tell him how I really felt. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t help worrying that I was bad for him.

  Chapter Eleven

  “So what are we going to do now?” Natalie looked at me as our breakfast was placed on the table.

  They’d taken the news of Shannon and Arthur’s midnight departure in stride. After all, it’s hard to argue with such a romantic gesture. And Arthur had felt extremely romantic, whisking Shannon off to a castle in Scotland, just the two of them. I was impressed. I think Shannon was too.

  Will grumbled about Arthur deserting him on their dragon quest but was appeased by the arrival of the clotted cream and scones.

  “I have some ideas,” I said.

  Voices began at once, each one louder and faster than the other. I smiled and Mom shook her head. She spoke loudly, quieting the kids, “I’d like to go see Maureen. She’s desperate for us to come. And she so wants to meet the kids. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to take them with me to Brighton.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” She smiled back at me.

  “Why is that so hard to believe, Mom? I mean, look at Will. He’s awesome. Everyone wants to meet that.” Natalie leveled a long-suffering stare at her little brother. Will had constructed a wall from the creamer cups and was now arranging the sugar cubes across the top. He had a thick mustache of clotted cream, milk, and jam.

  “Will, don’t play with the food, dear.” My mother started putting the sugar back, unfazed.

  “Maybe we’re comic relief, Mom.” Natalie eyed Will as he shoved several sugar cubes into his mouth. “Will, if you throw up, it’s your own fault.”

  Will shot her an offended look, then swallowed forcefully.

  “No more sugar, Will,” I said.

  “Claire, we’ll have a nice visit. Besides, I’m sure you’d like some time with Josh. Nat mentioned something about his family cottage in Stratford? Go and explore together.” My mother waited for my nod before she patted my hand and gushed, “I’m so excited. I’ll go give Maureen a call now.” She left the table in search of her phone book.

  I sipped my coffee, shaking my head at my imp of a son. “Will,” I gently chided as he tried to shove an entire scone into his mouth.

  Will smiled, half of his scone falling into his lap.

  Natalie rolled her eyes, ever the blossoming teenager. “Mom, am I seriously related to him?”

  “It’s a fact, girlie.” I winked at her. “Deal with it,” I said, repeating her favorite sibling zinger. “While you, mister, need to remember your manners, please,” I said to Will sternly. “We don’t talk with food in our mouth. And you should try not to wear so much of what’s supposed to be breakfast.”

  “Yeah, it’d be kind of nice to have a normal, less messy breakfast,” Natalie added.

  “It’d be boring without me.” Will smiled, adding more milk to the sticky mustache on his upper lip.

  “Um…Peaceful is more like it,” Natalie shot back. Her smile widened at something behind me.

  I peeked over my shoulder to see Josh entering the dining room, freshly showered and bright-eyed as he made his way to us. He returned Nat’s smile and winked.

  “Mom, he may not be Jake Gyllenhaal, but he’s gorgeous. You know that, right?” Natalie said.

  “It’s hard to miss.” I smiled at her.

  “Any jam left?” Josh asked as he sat by Will. He laughed at the boy’s jam and cream covered face—and napkin and lap.

  I peered into the jam pot. “I’m not sure there is, actually.” I started wiping Will’s face with my napkin. After a thorough rubdown, he was a little less creamy but still exceptionally sticky.r />
  “Good thing I prefer toast.” He reached for two pieces of toast from the toast rack in the center of the table, then the butter. “So what are you lot up to?”

  Will took a long swallow of milk and said, “Grams has gone to call her friend.”

  “Maureen in Brighton?” He cocked an eyebrow and nibbled his toast.

  “Right,” Natalie said.

  “That’s a bit of a train ride.” He smiled. “Ever taken a proper train, Will?”

  Will nodded, taking a somewhat smaller bite before saying, “There’s a red train at our zoo.”

  “That’s not a real train, Will. It’s a kiddie train.” Natalie shook her head, eating some strawberry scone.

  “Will, you have food in your mouth. Please swallow before you try to talk.” I smiled. “It is a real train, Nat, just miniature.”

  Josh was watching us with an amused smile. “Will you all go to Brighton then?”

  I peeked at him over the coffee cup.

  “We’re going with Grams. Grams said it was important for a couple to have special time together. Like Uncle Arthur and Aunt Shannon, who are gone now.” Will poked his scone, momentarily crestfallen. “Natalie said you might go to Stratford cottage or something. Is that another hotel?” Will finished his milk, adding to his mustache. “Why do houses here have names?”

  Natalie choked on her drink as Josh shot one of his knee-wobbling, lethal smiles my way.

  “No, it’s not a hotel. Stratford is the name of a town. But you’re right. The cottage does have a name. It’s Summer House.” He reached for my hand.

  I shrugged, asking, “If the offer still stands?”

  “Of course,” he said.

  There was a slight lull in conversation. Will stared at Josh’s hand wrapped about my own. I started to pull my hand away, but Will smiled up at the two of us.

  “Are you going to hold hands a lot while you have your special time?” Will asked.

  “If that’s all right with you. I like holding your mum’s hand,” Josh replied, smiling.

  Will nodded. “Fine with me.”

  I took a large sip of coffee to hide my smile.

  “Can Helen come with us?” Natalie asked. “Grams said it was okay, but I didn’t know if she’d want to.”