by J. H. Croix
Chapter Twenty-Six
Charlie
One afternoon, my phone rang at work, but I was too busy to check it. The office had been just nuts so far that day. Within a few minutes, Rachel knocked on the door where I was finishing up with a patient.
After I called for Rachel to come in, she poked her head around the door. “Mrs. Stan is on the phone,” she said.
Confused, I glanced over at her. My mother had now been going regularly to Norma’s. Since she’d been doing that, she hadn’t called a single time during my workdays. She seemed to like it. It had relieved an enormous amount of pressure from me.
Rachel arched a brow, as though I could somehow interpret what she meant by that. Finishing up with my patient, I followed Rachel down the hallway, waiting to speak until we stepped into my office.
“What the hell is going on?”
“It’s not your mom, but I didn’t know what else to say to get you out of there fast.”
“What is it?” I asked, worry spinning inside.
“It’s the high school principal. They can’t find Emily.”
It felt as if I was falling, my stomach bottoming out and dread churning inside. I nearly dropped my phone twice trying to call back. Rachel waited with me.
“Yes, this is Charlie Lane, I’m calling about Emily Lane,” I said as soon as the receptionist at the high school answered.
“Oh, just a moment,” she said.
I bit back a curse. I didn’t need to let my impatience get the best of me.
The cheery hold music played while I waited. Finally, Principal Anderson got on the line. “Hello, Dr. Lane, how are you this afternoon?” she asked.
“Where’s Emily?” I asked in return, completely skipping past any polite conversation.
“Well, we were hoping you could help us with that,” the principal replied. “The last few times she hasn’t been in her afternoon classes you’ve sent a note in with her. But today, there is no note, and she left classes after lunch.”
Fear, anxiety, and anger flashed through me all at once. Because obviously I hadn’t been turning in notes for Em to miss afternoon classes. But I didn’t want to get into that just now. The immediate issue was to figure out where the hell she was.
“Um, okay…” My words trailed off because I had no fucking clue what to say here. Remember how I said I wanted an instruction manual? Said manual would definitely include instructions on what to say to the principal when you found out your niece had been skipping class and forging notes from you.
As I was internally fumbling for what to say, the principal filled the silence for me. “Emily’s a good kid. Her grades are excellent. Otherwise, I might’ve called you and said perhaps she shouldn’t miss so many afternoon classes, but she’s a straight-A student.”
Again, I stood there silently on the phone, looking to Rachel in a panic. Rachel shrugged and stepped over to me, curling her arm around my shoulders and squeezing lightly. As if that would somehow help. I knew she was just doing what she could in the moment, but it was a little funny. I almost laughed at the absurdity of the entire situation.
Uncertain what to say, I finally just said, “Do you mind if I come to the school to talk with you in person? Maybe we can figure this out together.”
“Of course not. I’d be happy to talk with you,” the principal said politely.
I mean, what else was she going to say?
“Our last bell is ringing shortly, so if you want to wait at least fifteen minutes, you’ll miss the rush.”
“Okay, I’ll be there,” I replied.
As soon as I tapped to end the call, I looked over at Rachel. “Em has been skipping afternoon classes and turning in notes that I excused her. Apparently, she forgot to forge today’s note,” I said with a sigh. I scrubbed my face with my hands. “What the hell do I do?”
“It’s probably not an emergency,” Rachel said calmly.
“What do you mean?”
“Did you ever skip classes?”
I stared at her and then finally shook my head slowly. “No, actually I didn’t.”
Rachel arched a brow and shook her head. “Well, I did. All the damn time.”
Staring at her, I managed to take a deep breath. I wasn’t quite ready to think it was funny, although I was considering the idea.
“Your best bet is to just call her. Right now,” Rachel suggested.
I slipped my phone out of my pocket and pulled up her number. Em picked up on the third ring.
“Hey, what’s up? The bell’s about to ring,” she said by way of greeting.
I was so frustrated, I didn’t even try for finesse. “Yeah, I know. But you’re not there, so I don’t see why it matters.”
I let that comment just sit there. Em was dead silent.
“Em, where are you?”
She mumbled something.
“Em,” I warned. “The principal just called. I know you’ve been turning in notes, allegedly from me, to excuse yourself from afternoon classes. You forgot today. So, tell me now where you are.”
Her following sigh was epic. I could practically see the look on her face.
“Fine, I’m with my friend.”
“Kayla?” I asked hopefully. Because at least I knew who Kayla was.
Another long, drawn out, and rather dramatic sigh. “No,” she mumbled. I’m with Aaron.”
Aaron? Who the hell is Aaron?
I was furious and wanted to barrage her with questions about the mysterious Aaron, but now wasn’t the time.
“Okay and where are you?” I asked.
“Right here on school grounds. We’re out back underneath the bleachers. Before you go getting worried that we’re making out, he’s just a friend,” she offered.
I filed that information away to deal with at another time. “Okay. I’ll be at the school in about twenty minutes. I expect to meet you there in the principal’s office.”
I hung up to the sound of another epic sigh. I didn’t even wait to make my next call. I immediately called the principal back and let her know precisely where Emily and Aaron were.
Within another few minutes, I got a return call from the ever friendly principal. She informed me that they’d caught Emily and her friend smoking under the bleachers.
Rachel thought that was absolutely hysterical. While I was furious. Layering onto that, I was even more upset about the forged notes and skipped classes. I wished for the thousandth time that I wasn’t doing this alone. I wished I could call my sister and ask her what we should do. But my sister Karen wasn’t here for her little girl, the one she had treasured and adored and who was no longer little. No, she was fifteen and skipping classes to smoke with some boy.
I figured Karen probably wouldn’t turn over in her grave over the smoking. Although I knew she wouldn’t be happy about the lying. No, she’d have been furious right along with me about that.
Looking over at Rachel and letting my phone fall to my desk, I reached up to let my hair down. The moment I did, Jesse danced through my mind. I wondered if I’d ever be able to take my hair down without thinking of him again. Shaking those thoughts away, I focused on the moment at hand.
“Can you let Doc know I had to leave for the afternoon? Also, please have Sandy reschedule the rest of my appointments for today. I need to go talk with the principal and with Em. Even if we finish in time for me to come back, I don’t think I should today. I need to take some time with her.”
Rachel nodded quickly. “On it.” She cocked her head to the side and then tugged me into a quick hug. Stepping back, she squeezed my shoulders. “Hey, this is teenage stuff. It’s not the end of the world.”
“I know it’s not,” I finally said, trying to corral the muddle of emotions rushing through me—worry, anger, and disappointment, all colored with the fact I felt like somehow I’d let Em down. “Thanks for the moral support. I gotta go.”
Later that night, after a pretty bumpy afternoon, I looked across the kitchen table at Em. She was still pissed off at me
. She was absolutely furious that I’d called the principal and told her where she and her friend were. Because now she was in trouble not only for skipping class, but also for getting caught smoking on school grounds. You’d have thought I’d practically ruined her life.
My mother had gone to bed, and Em was currently finishing up homework, still stubbornly refusing to speak to me. I didn’t particularly care right now. I was rightfully pissed about the smoking, the skipping classes, and the forged notes. After enduring her silence for the afternoon and evening, I decided I was going to talk even if she wasn’t going to reply.
“So here’s the thing, none of this is okay. Skipping classes is absolutely not okay, smoking is not okay, but lying and forging notes in my name on top of all that is unacceptable. Lying to get away with it makes it all worse,” I said flatly, my voice vibrating with fury.
Em sighed elaborately. “Please put your tablet down and look at me,” I said.
Without looking at me, she did. “Why do you have to make such a big deal about everything?” she mumbled.
“Because I care about you! This matters. You can’t pull stunts like this and think it’s okay!”
“It doesn’t matter!” she said fiercely. “I just skipped a few classes and smoked a few cigarettes. You’re not like my mom! She wouldn’t have freaked out like this.” At that, she stood, finally looking at me, her eyes dark and her cheeks flushed.
I was so stunned by her words, I couldn’t speak. I felt as if she’d punched me right in the heart. She spun around and raced up the stairs, slamming her door shut behind her.
I was frozen in place, the anger I’d felt crashing up against the words she’d just thrown at me. I sat there in the silence, only snapping out of it when I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Standing, I snagged a napkin off the counter and blew my nose. I didn’t quite know how my sister would have felt about this. Rationally, I knew it was an easy place for Em to go in her mind—to think I’d handle things differently from her mother. She was likely right, just because we were different. Yet, my sister wasn’t here. I was, and we had to find a way forward.
With anxiety tight in my chest, I forced myself to walk upstairs. I couldn’t let this slide. I knocked lightly on her door and waited. I barely heard her call for me to come in.
When I opened the door and saw her, my heart cracked. She sat on her bed with her knees tucked up and her arms hugging them tightly. She simply looked sad. She had every reason to be. She had said goodbye to her mother at a young age within months of her grandfather passing. Both of those things had been hard enough on me, and I was an adult. She’d only been thirteen. She’d also had to accept that her father couldn’t be bothered to act like a father.
Then, in all my brilliance, I’d decided we should move clear across the country. At the time, I’d been thinking about my mother and Em too because she’d gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd back in Boston. Smoking under the bleachers was nothing compared to what some of those kids had been doing. Yet, none of that changed how hard all of this must’ve been on Em. Sometimes, I wished I could turn back the clock for myself, so I could have been thinking more clearly in the aftermath of my sister’s death.
As difficult as my father’s death had been, I supposed we’d all been somewhat prepared for that eventuality. Yet with Karen, I felt as if I’d been slammed by a truck when we found out she had pancreatic cancer. I’d known the grim numbers associated with her diagnosis, and it had terrified me. None of us had been ready, most certainly not Em.
Then, I’d uprooted her from the only home she’d known. I couldn’t undo it now, but I wished I could find a way to make things better. Sometimes I worried I relied on her too much with my mom. Yet, they were close, so their connection was also a positive for her. I hoped now that we’d found an option for my mom during the daytime that Em would feel less of a burden.
With all of these thoughts tumbling through my mind, I held Em’s gaze. “I know this sucks, but what happened today isn’t okay,” I said, steeling myself.
She stared back at me and slowly nodded. “Okay.”
I’d been so braced for more push back that I felt as if I’d spun loose on a swing and lost my balance after I got off. “Okay,” I managed. “Let’s see what the principal decides and then go from there as for consequences. I just want to add that I understand why you might’ve said what you just said about your Mom. I can’t…”
My words trailed off when she sighed again. If there were a world championship competition for sighing, I was fairly certain she would get a gold medal.
She shook her head sharply. “I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t really know what Mom would’ve done, but she probably would be mad.”
I took a steadying breath. “I know I haven’t had enough time for you…”
Another sigh. Pausing, I watched her.
“Oh God,” she finally said. “Are we back to that? I don’t care about Jesse. I can’t believe you think I do.”
I took a few steps and sat on the end of her bed. “Okay, well, what’s this all about?”
Em threw her hands up in the air, letting them fall to the bed with a thump. “It’s just me screwing up! I’m not saying it’s okay, but lots of kids skip classes and smoke,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
I wasn’t about to share with her that Rachel had made that same point. It still didn’t make it okay in my mind. Holding her gaze, I shrugged. “And lots of kids deal with consequences. I’d ground you, but you hardly go anywhere. Principal Anderson said something about community service. Let’s see what she thinks and if I think you need more consequences at home, we’ll discuss it. Okay?”
Em looped her arms around her knees again and nodded, her chin bumping on her knees. Seeing as we seemed to have somehow gotten on level ground, I decided this was enough for now. Standing, I walked to her door. “I expect you to come downstairs for dinner, okay?”
At her nod, I turned and left, closing her door behind me.
The thing was I just didn’t know how to juggle all of this. I felt like I was doing everything halfway and, as a result, half-failing at everything.
The other night when I had dinner with Rachel and Holly and met some new possible friends, it had only highlighted how little room I had in my life.
For anything.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jesse
Dust kicked up as the helicopter settled down for a landing behind Willow Brook Fire & Rescue. This was shaping up to be a busy fire season in Alaska. Although most seasons were busy for our crews. Alaska was massive, and we also served the Western United States when called. Yet, fire seasons had been getting worse everywhere out West. Climate change had led to drier, hotter summers. With the addition of the swaths of forest ravaged by spruce bark beetle in Alaska, the landscape was ripe to serve as fire fuel.
This time, we’d actually gone out to do some preventative, controlled burns in areas that were considered high risk. Whether fires were planned or not, it was still a ton of work. I was weary, ready for a hot shower, and I missed Charlie.
As I stepped out of a helicopter behind Caleb with Ward following, I watched as Caleb strolled across to the parking lot where Ella was waiting for him. The wind caught her hair as he leaned over and lifted her into his arms. Ward shifted into a jog when Susannah, his wife, came walking out of the station to meet him. She held their baby boy, Ward Jr., in her arms. When he reached them, he dropped a quick kiss on her lips and then took Ward Jr. from her, lifting him high in the air and grinning. Ward didn’t tend to be the most cheerful guy. Yet, when he was around Susannah, he softened.
In that vein, I wasn’t much for standing around watching people. With a shake, I strode past them into the station, heading straight for the showers.
As luck would have it, or in my case not so great luck, I couldn’t get a hold of Charlie that afternoon. So after a shower and a stop by Wildlands for an early dinner with a few of the guys from the crew, I headed home. My mother,
Frannie, had been checking on Waffle for me while I was away. When I arrived home, she was just returning from walking her.
She glanced up smiling when she saw me. “Jesse! You’re home.”
“Hey, Mom,” I replied, stepping to her and pulling her into a quick hug, while Waffle circled around our feet.
I leaned down and gave Waffle a hug and scratched her neck. “Missed you, girl, how you been?”
Waffle answered with a lick on my chin and a full-body wiggle. Straightening, I walked beside my mother into the house. “I’m assuming everything went okay while I was out,” I commented as I tossed my keys on the counter.
My mother leaned against the counter. “Of course it did. Waffle’s a sweet dog.”
I’d inherited my dark amber hair and green eyes from my mother. Her hair was shot through with gray and quite a bit longer than mine. She had it pulled up in a slapdash ponytail today. She and my father had worked together for years. She helped him run a fishing charter business and did accounting for a few other small businesses in Willow Brook.
I used to wonder how they didn’t get on each other’s nerves, but then I met Charlie. Being with Charlie was just easy. I supposed I should’ve thought otherwise, seeing as there was more than just Charlie in that equation. Yet, none of that changed how easy it was to be with her.
My mother cocked her head to the side, her gaze considering. “So, I hear from Janet that you’re seeing someone.”
I had just opened the refrigerator to pull out a beer and was thankful my mother couldn’t see my face. It wasn’t that I minded Janet talking with her, it was more that I was a private person. Turning back, I twisted the cap off the bottle, took a swig and then looked over at her.
“Well, I’m not sure what else you need to ask since I’m sure Janet filled you in.”
My mother threw her head back with a laugh. Straightening, she grinned at me. “Janet just cares about you. She seems to like this Charlie quite a bit. So tell me about her.”