Hidden Trails

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  “Thanks.” Drake dropped the reins awkwardly to dangle by the mare’s legs. He moved to find himself beside Stefanie on the boulder. He shoved his hands in his pockets, humbled to discover that it didn’t matter how expensive his clothes were, he was still an insecure teenager with his crush in his sights.

  “You seemed pretty enthusiastic this morning. What has you down now?” He rolled his eyes at himself. Could he sound anymore green? Emma would laugh at how he was talking. He had a feeling she’d always suspected how he felt about Stefanie, but she’d never out and out said it.

  Drake could respect that or appreciate it – either way, his pride could be intact as long as Emma kept her mouth shut.

  With her chin on her knee, Stefanie shrugged. “It’s hard to be enthusiastic when your plans don’t work out the way you want them too.” Her mumble reached him but it was more like she was talking to the fish, the ones jumping up to snag flies on the water.

  “Isn’t it weird how the fish seem to eat around this pond all day and night instead of just in the morning and evening? In Wyoming, it gets so hot the fish won’t feed unless it’s dusky or shaded.” Drake could’ve shot himself in the foot. He was an idiot. Who wanted to talk about fish?

  Stefanie lifted her large eyes to him and gave him a soft smile. “It’s really shaded here and it’s cool. Even on a hot day they don’t get that much discouragement from swimming up to the top of the waters. The Salish believe the spirits protect the fish here because it’s an epicenter for all things holy.” She bit her bottom lip, the soft skin tugged between her white teeth. Squinting at him, she continued, “I didn’t know that about Wyoming. Do you like it there?”

  Interest in Drake? He could get onboard with that. He wouldn’t fight her questions. Stefanie showing interest in him was like a wolf being friendly to a rabbit – it never happened.

  Drake edged closer to her. He leaned a hip on the expansive rock. “Yeah, it’s been okay. It took me a while to appreciate it for it what it is because I’ve been so mad at my parents. But eventually I did. There’s a whole lot of rugged beauty there, in the people and the land.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure if I’m even over my parents and being... banished.”

  The serenity of the moment snared him into a level of intimacy he might not have reached at Bella Acres. Like their secrets were safe there, and they could say anything because it would never leave that clearing.

  He still didn’t know how he felt about his parents. That was the whole point of the ride – come out there and figure out what he was supposed to do regarding them.

  Calling them wasn’t on his list of priorities. He didn’t want to call them. Thinking about the promises he made Emma and the stuff waiting for him back at Bella Acres, Drake grew pensive. He stared into the water, matching the direction of Stefanie’s gaze.

  “I want to buy Bella acres.” Stefanie sniffed, as if she too were caught up in the moment. “But now Old Man Riddick wants it. He has the money, right? I’m just a kid to them.” Even in her early 20s, Stefanie looked nothing like a kid.

  Her hair had been pulled halfway back, leaving her curls to fall around her shoulders. The softening of her hair allowed the angles of her face to smooth, enhancing the curve and color of her eyes. Drake had always been drawn in by her eyes but now her lips were even more intoxicating to look than the rest of her.

  “You want to buy it? Riddick was going to stop you from doing that? That doesn’t sound like the Stefanie I know.” He didn’t want to fight her, wasn’t going to bring up the things that caused so much tension between them. He was enjoying the peace too much. But if he didn’t goad her away from accepting failure, he feared she would lose herself in the grief of loss before even really trying.

  As if holding back a sob, her breath hitched. “Yeah, well, there’s only so much a couple hundred dollars can do for you, you know? Nate was serious when he said we don’t have any extra money. I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to do it. How can I get money at this stage of the game? Mr. James said I only have two weeks.” She wiped at the sudden moisture under her eyes with quick, efficient strokes.

  An instant pang tugged at Drake’s chest.

  He wanted to buy the land. Him. He wanted to kick Nate off the land.

  He’d never thought about how it would affect Stefanie and Hannah when Drake bought the land and kicked their brother off. What would he do with the girls?

  They didn’t deserve to leave their home. Plus, he couldn’t handle doing anything like that to Stefanie.

  How did he kick only one part of a family off the land?

  He had to rethink things, but now more than ever he had to buy that land. Especially since Stefanie couldn’t afford it. “Are you positive you can’t buy it?”

  “Yeah, Ronan James is the bank owner in Colby. He told me I didn’t have enough... enough anything.” Her sardonic laugh ended her words as if she too believed him but hadn’t thought about it much or even considered it to be a stopping point. “You know what’s crooked? To borrow money from the bank, you have to be able to prove you don’t need their money. Which doesn’t make sense at all.”

  Drake couldn’t handle the condescension with which she treated herself. He’d cared for Stefanie for far too long to allow her self-esteem to waiver. “That’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever heard, which is something I would expect from you. But this lackluster attitude of giving up? Who are you? Stefanie Rourke doesn’t take no from anybody.”

  He nudged her shoulder with his, leaning over to invade her space just enough to capture her attention. “Do you remember that night? When Nate came and grabbed you? And Emma sent me home?”

  Stefanie stilled, as if Drake had brought up the bull in the room, the topic not to be discussed. She nodded slowly. “Yeah, I remember that night. I remember a lot of things.”

  “Oh, I remember that you didn’t take crap from anyone. Especially a loser guy like me.” He winked at her, as if trying to calm the ire starting to brew in her gaze.

  Her voice stiffened even further, vulnerability strong in her tone. “You can laugh about it all you want. You hurt me. I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten over that. Heaven knows I never was able to really date guys because I was so certain it was going to be a game to them.”

  A certain level of satisfaction rent through him that she’d never dated, but he couldn’t focus on that when her words shocked him. He’d hurt her? How had he hurt her? She ripped his heart out by not responding to his calls, by not doing anything every time he reached out. “I called you a couple times. I wanted to talk to you. I tried talking to you at school before that night. You wouldn’t have it.”

  “I was never good enough for you, Drake. Never good enough for the Benson boy.” She stood, dusting invisible dirt from the back of her denim skirt. The curves of the line of the skirt traced her thighs and her rear end without being overly snug. Drake envied the skirt.

  He shook his head and blinked hard. “What are you talking about? I liked you all through high school, even into middle school.”

  Stefanie thrust her finger toward the ground, holding her tone taut and controlled. “Don’t start with me. You and I both know that you did not feel anything for me. If you had, you wouldn’t’ve made a fool of me of that party. You wouldn’t have...”

  “Made a fool of you? I kissed you and you pushed me away, no interest. Nothing. Look what it got me? I kissed you in front of everyone, and then I was sent away.” Drake’s bitterness shot through him. He’d held that kiss as the only positive thing of that day. Even though she’d pushed him away, his lips still throbbed with the memory of her lips on his.

  She threw her hands in the air. “Alright, remember it how you want to, cowboy. I know what happened in my head and in my heart.” She turned to walk down the slope of the boulder to the grassy trail that led away from the water.

  Rushing around to that side, Drake reached out and grabbed her elbow. “Now wait a minute. If I hurt you, I didn’t mean to. The
last thing I’d want to do is hurt you.”

  She lifted her chin, the challenge in her eyes. “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do, right?”

  Her words rushed Drake back through the things he promised Emma, back to the things that he had to do. Back to the things that he had decided he wanted to do, if he bought that land.

  “Yeah,” he mumbled. He had the money. He could something he didn’t have to do. Something she’d never expect. “Let me buy it for you. I’ll buy the land. I’ll buy you Bella Acres. No strings attached, Stefanie.”

  Stefanie twisted toward him, disbelief warring with expectant hope in her eyes. “Don’t you dare tease me or taunt me or make light of this. Bella Acres is my home. This isn’t a box of cookies or chocolate that you can give to me. It’s not something you give me to make up for the things that happened in our past. Sure, you broke my heart. No big deal. Not like life or death. It’s not like losing your home. Don’t make this about that. Please.”

  Drake’s thumb rubbed the edge of her elbow, the soft inner skin tantalizing to his touch. He looked down at his hand on her. “I’m not turning this into anything. I just feel like I can help you, so why shouldn’t I?” Someone had to let him help.

  “You don’t have the money, Drake. There’s no way you have enough money for me to borrow from you like you’re a bank. If you do, why not use it to help Emma?”

  She had the exact reaction Drake expected. Why didn’t he use his money to help his sister? Why was he just rolling over and helping Emma pass peacefully? There had to be advancements since Emma was a child. There had to be something they could do.

  Drake lifted his chin, dropping his arm. “I’m very wealthy. Stefanie, you have no idea what I’ve been up to since I’ve been gone.”

  “You’re not even humble about it. There’s the Drake Benson I know.” She laughed, throwing her head back, exposing the soft skin of her throat, the creamy lines distracting. “Besides, even if you did have it. I couldn’t take it.”

  “Do you ever think about that night? Do you ever think about what could’ve been with us?” Drake had to ask. He had to. She was losing the soft side of her, her walls slamming up. He had to ask before her vulnerability disappeared.

  Something soft glimmered in her eyes, and she said, “I wondered if you would’ve come over and kissed me like you did if Nate and Emma haven’t been there. You probably would’ve kept ignoring me, Drake.”

  “No. I saw you. I had planned on approaching you that night. I had big plans. I...” His voice trailed off as he realized how weak his declarations sounded.

  She stepped away from him, her walls up and pride lifted her chin. She drew her shoulders back. “You don’t need to tease me. You don’t need to assuage me. When I buy the land, Emma is going to be on it. She’s my sister, too. I love her. I don’t need blood to have a bond like that. I’m going to do this. You just stand there and watch me. All of you – can watch me.” She turned, her long strides carrying her further and further away from him, but never as far as her pride would take her.

  Stefanie would never be able to get anything lined up for the loan. The banker had most likely recommended a cosigner. Or a job. Stefanie didn’t have time to come up with either. She certainly didn’t have enough time to come up with the money to cover any kind of down payment or good faith amount. Not in the time frame she’d been given. He knew it.

  One thing Drake Benson understood was money.

  He returned to the mare, grabbing the reins and wrapping the leather strips around his hand. Playing with them as the sweet animal continued munching on the grass.

  Maybe he wouldn’t kick Nate off the land when he bought it. Maybe Drake would buy the land, force Stefanie to stay there, and maybe he’d make her marry him.

  The only way any of that would fulfill his desire for revenge was knowing that every single time Drake touched Stefanie, Nate’s blood would boil.

  Talk about sweet revenge.

  Chapter 7

  Stefanie

  Stefanie missed her mom’s homemade bread.

  The bread Stefanie and Hannah made was a little too thick, a little too heavy. At least for sandwiches. Stefanie smoothed the knife over the chunky peanut butter, the thin amount that she was allowed to have. She would make up for the lack of peanut butter with homemade huckleberry jam.

  She couldn’t dispel the ache of hunger gnawing at her belly. Nothing quite satisfied that ache – except for solid food that you couldn’t see the end of.

  Dinners were slim anymore, food was getting scarce with money. They watched their pennies like they watched predators in the prairie.

  Stefanie had skipped dinner to avoid Drake and the flood of emotions he spread throughout her body – that and the sensations he wrought on her with his closeness. His eyes...

  She’d missed dinner, and mashed potatoes were her favorite, too.

  She sighed, careful to spread the peanut butter as much as possible.

  Ever since that morning, her discouragement had drowned her enthusiasm.

  Ronan sure knew how to take the whip out of the girl.

  She tried to shake off the despondency.

  No, she could still do it. She could succeed. She was a Rourke after all.

  Rourke’s could do anything. Look at everything she’d survived.

  She just had to come up with a plan. That was all. The lamp on the kitchen island sent a pool of warm, glowing light through the kitchen and over into the dining room. Everyone else was asleep. She loved that quiet part of night.

  She slapped the two pieces of bread together and lifted them to take a bite.

  Drake shuffled into the kitchen.

  Stefanie froze in the middle of eating, watching as his blue jeans hung just a little low on his hips. The expanse of his chest and back moved, gliding, and rippling.

  Didn’t the man own a shirt?

  Drake stretched. Nodding toward the sandwich, he asked, “Anything left for me?”

  “We have enough for a PB and J.” Stefanie offered the almost empty bottle of peanut butter toward him. “There’s not much left. Sorry about that. I didn’t think anyone else would want one.”

  “That’s all right, I’ll just get something else.” Drake opened the fridge door, blinking at the empty shelves. “Where is everything?”

  He stood, closing the door, and walked over to the pantry.

  Stefanie took a bite of her sandwich, chewing. She knew what he would find.

  The pantry was even more bare. Plenty of jars of jelly and honey, but not much else. Their gardens had been low with lack of funds for fertilizer and no one home to till it.

  The Rourke’s were getting used to hunger. All the money was going into Emma’s medical care.

  Stefanie didn’t resent anything about it. She loved Emma just as much as rest of them did. What she resented was watching Emma fade even faster because she was hungry, too.

  Drake closed the door and turned back to face her, crossing his arms over his chest. He tilted his head to the side and studied her. “Where’s all the food?”

  Stefanie avoided his gaze. She took another bite of her sandwich. Chewing, she waited, hoping he would look away.

  But he didn’t.

  “We don’t have the money. We really do not have money. Even for food.” Stefanie straightened her back, turning away from him. She didn’t need judgment.

  She was going to buy the house and feed everybody. She just had to figure out a way how.

  Drake angled around until he stood in front of her. “Go grab your boots and let’s go.”

  Stefanie put her sandwich on the plate. She looked everywhere but then glared at his chest. Exasperated, she threw her hands on her hips. “Don’t you own a shirt?”

  Drake arched an eyebrow. “Does this bother you? Because if it bothers you, I’ll throw away all my shirts. I’ll walk around like this every day. Just for you.”

  Stefanie huffed. “Why do I need my boots, Drake?”

&nbs
p; Drake took her by the shoulders and turned her. “Go get your boots, Stefanie. I’ll grab a shirt to make you feel all safe and warm. And I’ll grab my boots and meet you out by my rig.”

  Pure curiosity was the only thing that had Stefanie following his directions. She didn’t know how to address what happened at the watering hole that morning. Maybe just acting like nothing happened was a way to go. Heaven knew that if she studied their conversation too closely and how it affected her breathing and her pulse, she would get all kinds of confused about what she wanted.

  No one needed that.

  Stefanie grabbed her boots, glancing at her sandwich with regret.

  If Drake made her miss out on a perfectly acceptable sandwich, he better make up for it. Ignoring her growling stomach, Stefanie pulled on her boots, and padded down the stairs on the back porch.

  She stood beside his “rig”.

  Moonlight from the clear skies graced the top of the hood. She hadn’t seen a paint job like that in years. She didn’t want to rest against the vehicle and risk scratching it.

  Drake came out the door, boots on his feet, buttoning up a flannel. He nodded at her. “Door’s unlocked, go on, climb in.”

  He jumped in the front driver’s seat.

  Stefanie leaned over, opening the door. “Wow, you’re such a gentleman.” She climbed into the rig and slammed the door behind her.

  Drake laughed, turning the key. “Last time I opened the door for you, we were in high school, and you said something so rude, I promised I’d never open another door for you again.” He draped his forearm across the steering wheel and looked at her. “Do you remember that?”

  Stefanie leaned back in the chair, the leather already warming to her presence. She chewed on her top lip. Of course she remembered that. She had just found out that he was dating Tawnie Meridale and Stefanie had been extremely jealous. How could he have fallen for that high-maintenance-wanna-be-rodeo-queen? Drake had opened the door for her and she’d never given him any reason to date her only. It hadn’t been his fault. “Sorry about that.”

  “I’m pretty easy to train, Stefanie.” Drake started the engine, the slow hum and purr vastly different from the rough start of the Rourke family truck.