Never Keeping Secrets

by Niobia Bryant

  “And plotting to take us the fuck out,” Keesha added around the wad of gum.

  “And the big dick son-of-a-bitch pulled no shots because I’ve known him as the manager for Kelson Hunter,” she said. “Oh shit, I forgot about Kelson.”

  “The actor?” one of them asked.

  Monica barely heard them as she snatched up her phone and walked outside the restaurant located just off the hotel’s lobby away from the table. She dialed Kelson’s cell number, pacing as it rang.

  “Hello,” he said.

  She paused at the coolness in his voice. “Kelson, hey this Monica—”

  “Look, Monica, I’m not going to change my mind.”

  She frowned in confusion. “Excuse me?”

  “Look I appreciate the work you’ve done for me already but I shouldn’t be harassed for deciding to have my investments handled by another firm.”

  “What?” Monica snapped, drawing the many eyes of people in the lobby.

  She held the phone away from her face and bent over to grip her knees as she forced herself to breathe. “Kelson,” she said, pressing the phone back to her face. “Are you saying you fired me?”

  “Are you saying you didn’t get the certified letter I sent?” he asked. “It was signed for today.”

  She massaged her forehead. “I wasn’t in the office all week. My assistant must’ve signed for it.”

  “It’s just business, Monica,” he said.

  “No, that’s more than fine,” she assured him. “I’ll get the letter when I go in Monday.”

  “And this is not because you picked Usain over me either.”

  That bastard told Kelson. She shook her head and punched the air. “Kelson, where did you meet Usain?” she asked, coming to a stop.

  “He’s an associate with XXL Entertainment,” he said. “Why?”

  “You’re still with XXL?” she asked. “I assumed you left them to work with Usain.”

  “Nope, they sent him to me, wanted someone to work more closely with me, like a liaison between the company and me,” he said.

  “Did you ever meet with him at his office?” she asked.

  “Nah, we usually did lunch or dinner meetings and he always paid so I was like cool, you know.”

  Monica nodded even though she knew he couldn’t see her.

  “I hope the next one is as cool as Usain.”

  Monica arched her brow. “What’s that?”

  “He resigned this morning.”

  Had he ever worked for XXL or had he conned Kelson just to get close to her? Or did Xavier Long own XXL?

  “All right, Kelson, I’ll see about the transfer of funds and a full accounting report of your investments first thing Monday,” she said, switching into business mode. “You have a good weekend, okay?”

  “Seriously, this is not about—”

  “Bye-bye,” Monica said, sounding robotic as she ended the call.

  She pulled up her contacts and her thumb floated over Cameron’s name. She just wanted to know what she was going up against when she went home. No, not yet.

  When she got back to their table Danielle was already halfway through another glass.

  “Well, at least you didn’t fuck him,” Danielle said, her voice sounding tired and slightly slurred as she sat with her chin in her hand on the tabletop.

  Monica slid back into her seat. “Or let him eat you out,” she added as she slid in on the end of their conversation.

  “Do you think we can press charges?” Latoya asked.

  “For what, being stupid?” Keesha snapped, picking up her vibrating cell phone to check the caller ID before setting it back down.

  Monica glanced at the screen and saw Corey’s face. “Congratulations on your books,” she said, seeing how Keesha looked worried as hell. She was going to bite straight through one of her acrylic tips.

  Keesha actually smiled a little. “Thank you.”

  “You got your book published?” Danielle asked.

  “Actually my third one comes out next year,” Keesha said.

  They all looked surprised at seeing Keesha’s bashfulness.

  “I have to buy a box and see if I can get it on the show some way or at least tweet something,” Danielle said, her eyes a mix of sadness and happiness all at once.

  “And congrats on your TV show,” Keesha said. “Kimani told me about it. She is so proud and went to school and told all her friends.”

  “You’re on TV?” Latoya asked, reaching over with the hand not clutching her purse to squeeze Danielle’s hand. “What show? What are you doing on it? That’s great, Dani.”

  She smiled and took another sip of her wine. “Doesn’t really matter now does it?” she asked, looking down in the depths of wine left in her glass.

  Keesha bit at her bottom lip. “I could seriously hurt Xavier for this shit he did to all of us. I cannot go through this pregnancy—my life—without Corey. I know I fucked up but damn like . . . like what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

  “You go home and you talk to him and you beg him for his forgiveness,” Monica said, leaning forward to lock her eyes with Keesha’s. “It’s hard but people do have the capacity to forgive. Trust me.”

  “Xavier didn’t,” Latoya said, taking a sip of her water as she kept one hand resting atop her purse on the end of the table.

  “If he’s this fucked up in the head about it, thank God he didn’t have a small dick,” Danielle said with attitude.

  “Chile please,” Keesha said, releasing a heavy sigh before she went back to chewing on her nail.

  “I am not done with Xavier Lofton,” Monica said, her eyes glinting with just as much anger as Xavier had held in his own when he glared at them.

  They all fell silent. All were lost in their thoughts. In imagining the worst and hoping for the best. In dreading going home to face the havoc wreaked on their lives.

  Latoya stood up suddenly. “Excuse me,” she said, walking away from the table.

  Xavier Lofton had played with them all like pawns on a chessboard, sitting back plotting every move and laughing at every turn. For years his hatred and need for revenge had festered until he had nothing but darkness and evil to put back out into the world. Nothing good had come from it. His revenge—his hatred—of them had tarnished his life for well over a decade.

  Monica wondered just how the effects of his game would overshadow their lives as well.

  She closed her eyes as she tapped her finger against the screen of her phone. Sitting there and not knowing if the man she loved had been delivered a bomb that would completely tear down the foundation of their relationship? Not easy. Not easy at all.

  And if Xavier Lofton thought he got to piss over their lives and walk away to enjoy his without a care in the world then he was sadly mistaken.

  Chapter 26

  Keesha

  8:59 P.M.

  Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby—

  Keesha glanced around the table as she bit at her cuticle bed. She winced as she pulled at a piece of skin too deeply and caused a pop of blood to fill her mouth.

  The track lighting of the restaurant glinted off her engagement ring on her left hand. She shifted her eyes away from it. My marriage is over before it even began, she thought.

  Everything it stood for had just been shitted on.

  Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn.

  Keesha knew she had fucked up. And all of her chickens had come home to roost.

  She crossed and uncrossed her legs under the table as Danielle motioned for the waiter. He came over to her right away.

  Keesha couldn’t blame her. She knew if she wasn’t pregnant she might roll her first blunt in five years and get Bobby Marley wasted. Still, she counted the empty glasses crowning Danielle’s place setting.

  Keesha squinted her eyes as she watched Danielle smooth her hand
s over her sleek ponytail. I wonder what’s wrong with her? Xavier the Ass hadn’t divulged that when he vomited all their secrets.

  Keesha glanced across the table at Latoya. Her eyes drifted down to take in the way her left hand stayed pressed against her clutch sitting on the table. Her eyes shifted again to take in the tiny beads of sweat on her upper lip and the rapid blinking of her eyes.

  Latoya needed a pill and Keesha knew that as soon as she got out of their company or even thought they weren’t looking that she was going to get her fix. She had been there and the craving for the drugs was all the more intense when it was just sitting there near you but you couldn’t risk taking it.

  What happened to her? How did Ms. Hallelujah end up on drugs?

  She looked at each of these women she shared so much of her life with.

  Even after she betrayed Monica they had bridged the gap and chosen their friendship over Rah’s abusive ass.

  Danielle had always been the one to call for good advice or just someone to let you rant.

  And Latoya was the one that it just was hard not to love.

  So what happened to all of us?

  Keesha reached in her purse and pulled out the king-sized pack of gum she carried to try and chew and pop her way through her nicotine cravings. She pressed her hand up against her belly. The curve of her unborn baby had barely raised her waist up a size but touching her belly and knowing she was growing another child inside her was comfort. It made her calm when she wanted to go crazy. It made her relax when she wanted to flex.

  I am going to be a better mother to you than I was to your big sister, she thought, looking up just as Monica shifted her eyes away from her hand on her belly.

  Keesha sat up a little straighter, wondering what she had been thinking.

  You’re pregnant and two cousins could be the daddy and now they both know about it.

  Keesha packed another piece of gum into her mouth.

  Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn. Corey knows about the baby. Corey knows about Shawn.

  Kimani’s father was taken from their lives by death and Keesha had to scrimp, save, and strip to take care of her daughter. Now she was looking at going it alone again. Corey would leave her and she didn’t want Shawn.

  Shawn had been a distraction from the unhappiness she caused in her home. He had been nothing more than a reason to think of how out of control she had become. Shawn was nothing more than a reason not to admit to Corey that he had been right and she had been wrong.

  I want Corey. Not Shawn. I want Corey. I love Corey. I need Corey.

  But going home and finding out that Corey has left me will destroy me.

  Keesha nervously pushed yet another piece of gum into her mouth to chew as she eyed Latoya’s steady touch on her purse tighten into a grip.

  She understood all too well the other woman’s urge to forget all the bullshit by getting high. All too well.

  Keesha thought of how they all had been played by Xavier.

  Hell, no wonder I never met his boyfriend Marcus. That slick, lying bastard!

  Monica picked up her phone and walked outside the restaurant.

  Keesha almost choked on the wad of gum as her phone lit up and began vibrating against the table.

  Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . .

  She picked up her phone. Corey.

  Danielle and Latoya shared a long look.

  Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . .

  “At least you’ll know where he stands before you go home,” Danielle advised.

  Keesha eyed her. Danielle had always been the one to make sure everybody else was okay. To make sure everybody else got what they needed. When both she and Tiffany needed a place to stay it was Danielle who opened up her doors to them. She was the most giving of them all.

  It felt good to know that had not changed but Keesha wondered if she had anyone doing the same for her.

  Keesha picked up the phone and placed her wad of gum inside her napkin as she answered the call, her heart pounding so loudly and so hard in her chest. “Hey baby—”

  “You’re fucking Shawn, Keesha? In our house? Are you for real? You were fucking Shawn IN OUR HOUSE? Are you fucking kid—”

  She hung up on him and sat the phone back on the table as she pressed her hand against her belly. A tear raced down her cheek as guilt flooded her. Fear flooded her. Shame flooded her.

  She was drowning.

  Corey knows.

  “He knows?” Danielle asked.

  Keesha nodded and wiped the track of her tear.

  “That bastard,” Danielle said, signaling the waiter for another glass.

  “I cannot believe this shit. I cannot wrap my brain around this shit. I just can’t. I can’t,” Latoya said, visibly trembling.

  Keesha eyed her, wondering if it was her emotions or the pills talking.

  Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . .

  Her eyes shifted back to the phone but she didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer. She could not deal.

  “Corey asked me to marry him,” Keesha said with a sad smile as she tapped her still-vibrating phone. “He rented a carriage and we rode around Central Park and . . . and we came to a beautiful lake . . . and . . . and . . . and while I’m sitting holding the flowers and the candy he gave me he asked me to marry him. It was out of a movie or something and . . . and . . . it sounds corny as fuck but it felt so good for a man to do that for me. It made me feel so special, so loved, so happy.

  “And I didn’t deserve it because I knew what I did to him, but I wanted it,” she said, her bottom lip trembling. “I wanted it so bad, y’all.”

  Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . .

  Tap-tap-tap.

  “And now it’s gone,” she said softly as she looked down at her engagement ring.

  The phone stopped vibrating for a few moments before it kicked right back in. Corey was blowing up her phone with the same speed and intensity that Xavier blew up their lives.

  Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . .

  Tap-tap-tap.

  The icon for a text message filled the screen.

  Danielle and Latoya looked on quietly as Keesha picked up her phone. She released a shaky breath as she opened it:

  FUCK U! DON’T FUCKING CALL ME UNTIL ITS TIME TO TAKE A DNA TEST. FUCK U!!!

  Keesha closed her eyes. Although it was just words his anger as palpable.

  “I cannot believe Xavier is such a damn lunatic,” Latoya said, as she rubbed her fingers against her palm and then dabbed at her sweaty neck with one of the cloth napkins.

  Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . . Bzzzzzz . . .

  Keesha felt a jolt as she eyed Corey’s face filling her screen with another incoming text. She reached for her cell phone.

  I HATE U. HOW COULD U DO THIS?

  She sat the phone back down as her soul continued to ache. She bit at her acrylic nail again.

  Her world was collapsing around her.

  In another place and under different circumstances she knew she would enjoy being back in the presence of her friends. But it was hard to marinate in the old times and their unlikely reunion when she knew all hell had broken loose in her relationship.

  Fuck you all the way to hell, Xavier.

  Even as they all made idle chit-chat about their careers and accomplishments, still pulsing in the air around them was that vibe of trouble ahead.

  Keesha eyed the way Latoya fidgeted in her seat but kept her hand on that purse like her ass was playing Twister. She was ready to snatch it from her.

  She focused her eyes on her silent phone.

  Corey gave up. He was so beyond done with me that he don’t have shit to say to me now.

  She picked up her phone and read Corey’s texts again, shakin
g her head in disbelief at it all.

  She had made the first fatal mistake by cheating on him, and choosing his cousin had been so disrespectful. She delivered up the bullets Xavier Lofton used to shoot her relationship to death.

  Keesha looked up as Latoya stood up suddenly.

  “Excuse me,” she said.

  Her eyes followed her as she stopped a waiter and then headed toward the restroom he pointed to.

  Danielle and Monica glanced at her and then glanced away, lost in their own thoughts and problems.

  Keesha stood up and quick-stepped across the restaurant and into the bathroom behind her.

  Chapter 27

  Latoya

  8:59 P.M.

  Father God, I know I have forsaken You again. Please forgive me.

  Father God, my marriage may be over . . . and I don’t really think I care. Forgive me, Father.

  It wasn’t that Latoya didn’t want her marriage but as she’d proven with the same tactics she pulled to ensure she didn’t lose custody of Tiffany to Bones, she couldn’t deal with losing her children. Right now if Xavier was telling the truth—and Latoya had no doubt that he was—then he had provided Taquan enough proof for her to lose far more than just her marriage. Did he send the evidence to Bones too?

  Latoya pressed her hand against her clutch sitting on the table beside her glass of water. She wanted so badly to take a pill and knock off the rising edge. Just one would get me right. Just one.

  She felt so high strung and anxious. So unbalanced and lost. Sweat was already beginning to dampen her clothes. She felt it on her upper lip. Her pulse raced. Just one would level me off and I could think.

  Latoya shifted her eyes away from her purse just as the waiter brought Danielle another glass of red wine. Everyone has vices to cope and maintain.

  She shifted on her seat, feeling the pressure of the folder she sat on. She hadn’t dared to leave it behind in the ballroom and she didn’t want it sitting on the table mocking her so she stuck it under her when she sat down.