A Stolen Heart

by Beverley Hollowed

  God was it really that long since he last saw her, because it sure didn’t feel that long. He remembered every little detail as if it was only yesterday.

  “Emma wait!” Jack called after her as he followed her outside. “It’s okay, you don’t have to sing and you don’t even have to go back inside. I understand it was too soon but please just try to calm down.”

  “You don’t understand,” she cried out, spinning around as she struggled to catch her breath. The tears were now freely falling down her face. “It’s him. He was in there.”

  “Who was in there?” Jack asked confused with what she was saying.

  “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t,” she just kept repeating, again and again.

  “Emma, calm down,” Jack said taking hold of her arms and turning her to face him. “Who is in there?”

  “Zach Adams!” She blurted out, the tears trickling down her face.

  “Oh,” he said as it dawned on him exactly who she was talking about.

  “Oh God!” she cried covering her mouth. “I think I am going to be sick.”

  She ran over to the bushes and threw up. Jack ran over to her and rubbed her back. When she was finished throwing up Jack waved down a taxi and put her into it. He climbed in the far side of the taxi and they headed home.

  When they got back to their parents’ house Emma asked if it was ok not to go inside right away. So Jack suggested they go for walk along the sea front. Emma linked Jack’s arm as they walked towards the sea in silence.

  “I didn’t expect to see him there,” Emma finally said after they had walked together for about ten minutes. ”I thought he had gone back to the States. That’s what his letter had said he was doing. He had been offered a job in a Law firm in San Francisco. That’s where we were going to go. I thought that’s where he would be. I don’t understand why he is here. Why did he say he was leaving if he wasn’t? Why did he lie to me? I just don’t get it. I really thought he loved me. Even after I thought he had left me I thought he was just doing the right thing. But now I wonder was it just some kind of game to him. See how far he could go to destroying my life. God he’s probably not even a real lawyer.”

  “It must have been weird to see him after all these years,” Jack replied.

  “It was,” she admitted sadly.

  “I thought he was a barman?” Jack asked confused.

  “He had taken a few months off before starting his job,” she explained. “He wanted to go traveling but fell in love with Ireland. So he never moved on. He got a part time job in O’ Grady’s to help pay for his rent and stuff while he was here.”

  “I had no idea,” he replied surprised by this new piece of information.

  “You know I was afraid going down there tonight would open up some old wounds,” she admitted honestly. “I mean I haven’t thought about him in a long time but coming back here, well it stirred some memories. You know getting over him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. For a long time everywhere I went I would think that I had seen him. And part of me was afraid that he would one day turn up and everything I had with Jonathan would be destroyed. But I never expected to see him standing there tonight, in O’Grady’s.”

  “Do you still have feelings for him?” Jack asked bluntly. Emma was a little taken back by his straightforwardness.

  “Of course not!” she snapped back, defiantly. “I loved Jonathan.”

  “I know you loved Jonathan,” Jack replied. “As I recall that wasn’t ever a problem. But Emma, you were in love with this guy. You were going to leave everything behind for him. And loving someone and being in love with someone are two very different things.”

  “But he didn’t love me back Jack,” she sighed as the tear quickly pooled in her eyes and broke free once again. “Jonathan did, he loved me so much. More than I really deserved but now I have lost him too.”

  “It isn’t the same thing,” Jack said. “Emma, Jonathan didn’t want to leave you. He loved you more than anything. But this guy, this Zach, he broke your heart and he left you to pick up the pieces.”

  “You know, sometimes I feel I was punished,” she said wiping the tears from her eyes. “Sometimes I think Jonathan was taken from me, to punish me for what I did.”

  “That’s crazy Emma,” Jack argued “You did nothing to be punished for. You just fell in love. You didn’t mean to hurt anyone; you didn’t want to hurt anyone. I know I thought you shouldn’t have married Jonathan but I was wrong. You made him so happy. You gave him beautiful Mia which he adored. And he would have been so proud of Lily.”

  Emma buried her face in her hands and sobbed even harder.

  “Emma, what is it?” Jack asked sensing there was something she wasn’t telling him.

  “Jack I have done something terrible,” she cried. “Something I am not proud of. But you have to believe me, I didn’t think I had any other choice.”

  “It can’t be that bad, can it?” he asked. Emma walked away. She couldn’t tell him the truth. If she said it out loud she could never take it back. It was a secret she had been carrying for so long and never told another person.

  “Emma, what is it?” Jack asked staring to feel anxious. “What is so bad that you can’t tell me? It’s me.”

  “It’s Mia!” she shouted suddenly. Jack stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to say what she had to say. “Mia is not Jonathan’s daughter.”

  Jack was floored. He never expected something like this. He walked over to a nearby bench. He slumped down on it and put his head into his hands. He realized that she had Mia very quickly after they had got married but it never occurred to him that she might not be Jonathan’s baby. But suddenly it made sense.

  “You must think I am a horrible person,” Emma said sitting down next to Jack. “I swear to you when I married Jonathan I had no idea I was carrying Zach’s baby. But when I found out I was pregnant, Jonathan was so excited that I just couldn’t tell him the truth.”

  “I don’t think you’re horrible,” he finally said. “I think you were put in an awful situation and you handled it as best you could.”

  “I have made such a mess of things,” she sobbed. “I thought I was over all this shit. But seeing him tonight, it has just brought it all back. I can’t even imagine what he would think if he found out the truth.”

  “Are you going to tell him about Mia?” Jack asked surprising Emma.

  “Why would I do that?” she asked. “Jack he didn’t want me back then, what makes you think he is going to want her now. Besides he probably has his own family now. The last thing he would want would be me turning up and dropping a bombshell like this on his lap. I am not going to let him reject Mia too. I won’t let her be hurt by him.”

  “You have no way of knowing that he would reject her,” Jack argued. “Emma, he has a right to know. He’s her father. And surely Mia has the right to know that her Dad, her real Dad, is still alive. ”

  “And I have no way to know he won’t,” she snapped back feeling all fired up. She stood up and began to walk towards her parent’s house. Jack jumped up and followed her. “I won’t let him hurt her Jack. She has already been through enough. We all have.”

  “Emma!” he said. “I was just asking that’s all.”

  “Look Jack, Mia is my daughter,” she replied without missing a beat. “If you can’t understand that then maybe you should just forget I said anything.”

  “Emma,” he said as he chased after her. “I think you really need to think about this. What will happen if she grows up and finds out the truth herself? She will never forgive you for hiding this from her.”

  “Look Jack, like I said Mia is my daughter” she replied “Again, if you can’t understand that maybe you should just forget I said anything, just back off.”

  “Emma, wait,” he called after as she marched home. “Emma.”

  She opened the door and went in closing it behind her. She felt too pumped to sleep. She went into the kitchen to heat some milk.

  As sh
e poured out some milk, she could hear the front door open and footsteps coming down the hall. The kitchen door opened behind her.

  “Look Jack,” Emma said without turning. “I am not discussing it anymore”.

  “Discussing what?” Louise said surprising Emma.

  “Louise,” Emma said turning around. “I thought you were Jack.”

  “Don’t tell me you and Jack are arguing again,” Louise said taking a cup from the press and switched on the kettle.

  “What do you mean again?” Emma asked.

  “You know I might have been last born,” she replied. “But I wasn’t born yesterday. I know you two haven’t talked since your wedding. I know you two had a big fight that morning. I want to know, are you two fighting again?”

  “No,” Emma sighed deeply. “We’re not the fighting again.”

  “I am sorry about tonight,” Louise said sitting down in front of Emma. “Jack was right. I shouldn’t have pushed you into it.”

  “I wasn’t your fault,” Emma replied. “It was my own stupid fault.”

  “You know,” Louise said sipping her coffee. “I know you and Jack have always been close, but I can be a good listener too. If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m here for you too.”

  “I know you can Lou,” Emma said feeling guilty. She never realized how left out Louise must have felt growing up with her and Jack. They had always been the dynamic duo. Where one was the other wasn’t far behind. Emma was seven and Jack was six when Louise was born. They loved her more than anything. She was their little sister but it struck Emma that they never really included her. Sometimes she would tag along but she was never one of the gang.

  “I’m sorry we never included you growing up,” Emma said taking Louise by surprise. “It must have been hard being left out all the time.”

  “Sometimes it was,” she admitted honestly but then smiled. “It wasn’t so bad when I was a kid, I was glad to just tag along mostly. But I’m not a kid anymore and sometimes I think you both forget that. Especially Jack, sometimes he really gets on my nerves. He thinks he knows everything and yeah most of the time he does but not always.”

  “Well I promise I will never treat you like a kid again,” Emma said squeezing Louise’s hand. “No more big or little sister, from now on just sisters.”

  Louise stood up and came around to Emma’s side of the table. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly. “Better still” Louise replied. “How about friends?”

  “Friends it is,” Emma replied.

  They stayed up a little while longer and finished their drinks. Then they locked up and headed up to bed.

  When Emma got to her room she quietly opened the door as not to wake the girls. She switched on the lamp on her bedside table. She sat down on her bed and removed her jewellery and then her make-up before sliding into bed and switched off her lamp.

  The light from the street peered in through a crack in the curtains and fell across Mia’s face, as she slept so peacefully. Emma loved that little girl so very much.

  Although everybody said that Mia was the image of Emma, as she lay there Emma could see Zach in her. She wondered what he would think of their little girl. She closed her eyes and tried not to think of it. It was too painful.

  And seeing him tonight reminded her of what she had lost, not once but twice. She could feel her heart break all over again. She buried her face in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

  Chapter 8

  “Jack called,” Helen said as Emma walked into the kitchen carrying Lily, followed closely by Mia. It had been three days since the night in O’ Grady’s. Jack had called her and called her but she wouldn’t take his calls. “He said he would be here this evening and could you please be here to see him.”

  “Fine,” Emma sighed as she took Lily from the harness strapped to her and placed her into her little basket. She turned and undid Mia’s coat. They had spent the morning with Grace. They went for a walk along the sea front and Grace bought ice-cream for Mia even though Emma said it was too cold. Grace had brought her black Labrador, Molly, with them and Mia had lots of fun throwing a stick for Molly to chase.

  Emma had considered telling Grace about Zach. She thought maybe she would understand and agree with her that telling Zach about Mia was an incredibly bad idea. But she changed her mind.

  But she was afraid Grace would agree with Jack and they would join together and try and make her come clean. She was already sorry she had told Jack so she decided against telling Grace. She decided the less people that knew the truth, the better.

  “Did you have fun out with your auntie Grace?” Helen asked Mia as Emma removed her coat, hat and scarf.

  “Yeah,” Mia squealed excitedly. “Grace brought her dog Molly and we played fetch.”

  “That sounds like lots of fun,” Helen replied. She looked at Emma who seemed a million miles away. “You ok sweetheart?”

  “Yeah,” she forced a big smile onto her face she didn’t quite feel. “I am going to bring the girls up stairs. I want to change and feed Lily and I want to see if I can get this one to have an n a p.” She had to spell nap or Mia would have caused a huge fuss.

  She brought the girls upstairs and got Mia sorted before she changed Lily and gave her a bottle.

  She sat in the chair beside the window to feed Lily and stared out at the ocean. Emma loved growing up in Bray. She always missed living so close to the sea back home. She sat there for a long time even after Lily had nodded off. She was watching people carrying on with their normal life unaware of how precious life can be. And how, in an instant, it can be turned upside down and there is nothing you can do about it.

  She had no idea how long she had been sitting there when her Mam tapped lightly on the door.

  “Emma,” she said as she put her head around the door. “Telephone for you love.”

  “Who is it?” Emma asked. She hoped it wasn’t Jack she had run out of excuses not to talk to him on the phone.

  “It’s Jenna,” Helen replied.

  “Ok I will take it here,” Emma standing up and lying Lily back in her crib. She plugged the phone wire back in. She had unplugged it so if the phone rang it wouldn’t wake the girls.

  “Mam I have it,” Emma said to her Helen, who was back on the other phone waiting for Emma to pick up her phone. Helen hung up.

  “Hi Jenna,” Emma said trying to sound as happy as she possible could.

  “Hi sweetie,” Jenna replied in her usual bubbly tone. Her voice always made Emma smile. “How is the Emerald Isle treating you?”

  “Ok,” Emma sighed and regretted it immediately.

  “That good huh?” Jenna said concerned with the tone of her friend’s voice. Jenna new Emma almost as well as Emma knew herself and she could sense something was very wrong.

  “Oh you know, just family crap.” Emma lied but she didn’t fool Jenna.

  “Come on Emma,” Jenna replied. “This is me you’re talking to.”

  “Oh Jenna everything is so fucked up” Emma blurted. “My head feels like such a mess.”

  “Why?” Jenna asked.

  “It would take too long to tell you everything,” Emma replied. As close as she was to Jenna she hadn’t even told her, her secret. Now she wouldn’t even know where to start. “And to be honest right now I really don’t have the energy but it is so good to hear your voice. I wish you were here with me though. I really miss you.”

  Jenna knew there was something big that Emma wasn’t telling her. But she also knew Emma wasn’t ready to tell anyone. So she didn’t push her. She knew that when Emma was ready, she would tell her and whatever it was, they could try and sort it out together.

  They talked for about thirty minutes. Well Jenna did most of the talking. Emma just enjoyed listening to her friend keeping her up to date on all the news from back home.

  “Well I should get going,” Jenna finally said. “I have a meeting this morning with my publisher.”

  Jenna was a writer. She wr
ote children’s stories. That’s how she and Emma had met. She had come into Emma’s class to give a talk. She read some stories to Emma’s first grade class. She and Emma hit it off. They became best friends right away.

  “Emma,” Jenna said before she hung up. “Remember, I am only ever a phone call away. No matter what time it is, I am here.”

  “Thanks Jenna, I know you are” she smiled. She knew there was nothing Jenna wouldn’t do for her. She knew Jenna really meant it. She felt so lucky to have such a good friend.

  “Goodbye Sweetie,” Jenna said. “Keep your chin up.”

  Emma hung up the phone and once again disconnected the wire from the wall.

  Emma headed down stairs. She fancied a quick cup of tea before the children were awake and demanding her complete attention again.

  She walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see Jack sitting at the kitchen table alone, leafing through the morning papers. He looked up when she walked in.

  “Where’s Mom?” Emma asked picking up the kettle and filling it with water. She returned it back to its spot on the counter and switched it on.

  “She and Dad went down to do some shopping,” he replied folding the paper he was reading. “They left while you were on the phone. They said they wouldn’t be long.”

  “Okay,” she said, taking two mugs from the cupboard. “Would you like a coffee?”

  “Is it safe?” he asked with a smile. “There won’t be any rat poison or anything like that in it.”

  “Of course not,” she replied with a giggle.

  “Yes please,” he replied as he stood up and walked over to where Emma was making the coffee and leaned against the counter. He stared at her but didn’t say a word.

  She scooped the instant coffee into the two mugs and added the boiling water. She missed coffee from home. She always used the same brand from the first day she arrived in the States. For the first time since she arrived back in Dublin she missed home. She handed Jack his coffee and took a seat at the table.