After dinner Emma and Jenna helped Helen clear up after the dinner. Louise and Conner left early because Andrew was beginning to get a little grizzly and Louise said it would be best to get him home and try to settle him for the night.
“You know there are a couple of bottles of wine in the fridge if you girls fancy some,” Helen said when they finished the dishes. “Your Dad and I are going to head down to O’Grady’s for a couple of drinks so you will have the house to yourselves, well yourselves and the girls.”
“That sounds great Mom,” Emma said giving Helen a kiss on the cheek.
An hour later Emma had the two girls asleep, Mia up in bed, Lily in her basket next to them, and Helen and Gerry were gone out and the two girls settled in front of the fire with their glasses of wine.
“Your parents have a lovely home” Jenna said looking around the sitting room. “Really very modern, for a couple of their age I mean.”
“I love being here,” Emma admitted with a big smile.
“I can see that,” Jenna replied. “You are the most relaxed I have seen you since you lost Jonathan. Mind you I didn’t know how.”
“Why?” Emma asked.
“Well first of all there is all the crap with this Zach guy,” Jenna said and stopped to take a sip of her wine. “Also the weird way your family reacted to Jonathan’s name. Like tonight when Conner mentioned that he met me when he came to visit you and Jonathan. Everyone just stopped and looked at him like he had committed a murder.”
“When did that happen?” Emma asked surprised by this bit of information.
“When you got up to get him some dinner,” Jenna explained. “The poor guy didn’t know where to put his face.”
“I know it’s really weird,” Emma agreed. “It’s like if they don’t mention his name I won’t be upset. Like I will forget I’m a widow.”
“That sounds so strange,” Jenna said.
“I know” Emma agreed. “I remember when I was a kid there was an old lady that lived down the street and everybody referred to her as The Widow Cullen. My Mom always called her The Poor Widow Cullen. I remember every time I saw her she would be wearing a black coat and a black scarf. And I remember thinking, how sad and old she looked. But now that it has happened to me; it’s so weird.”
“The Widow Daniels,” Jenna said in an old crotchety voice and burst old laughing.
“The Poor Widow Daniels,” Emma added and the two girls burst out laughing. When the laughter subsided they sat in silence for a few minutes. Emma stared into the fire and thought to herself, ‘The Poor Widow Daniels’, if it wasn’t so funny it would be heart breaking.
“What do you think Helen and Gerry would say if they found out about Zach?” Jenna finally asked.
“I don’t know” Emma said. “I mean Louise has always been the wild one and Jack, well Jack was too good for everyone he brought home, at least in my Mam’s eyes but I was the sensible one. The one who was settled down, who never brought them any trouble. I think sometimes they saw me as some kind of saint. I think if they found out I wasn’t this perfect child they believed they had they would be disappointed in me.”
“It must have been hard to try to always please them,” Jenna said as she took a sip of her wine.
“Actually, not really,” Emma replied. “It never occurred to me to be any other way. That’s why, when I met Zach, and we decided when we were going to leave together, I decided to sneak away. I couldn’t look at my Mom and Dad and see their disappointment in me.”
“I am sure if you tell them the truth now they will just want for you to be happy again,” Jenna tried to reassure her.
“I hope so,” Emma replied. “But there are so many people I will be letting down if the truth came out. And I don’t mean my family. There is Jeff and Alycia and of course there is Jonathan parents. They are so wrapped up in Mia, especially since we lost Jonathan, it will devastate them to find out the truth.”
“I know it’s going to be hard,” Jenna said as she filled the two glasses once again. “But it’s not about them. It’s about you and the two girls. It about you three trying to find happiness again. And I am sure that nobody would begrudge you any of that.”
“God my head is so messed up,” Emma groaned as she flopped back on the sofa.
“I know it is,” Jenna said flopping back beside her. “But just think, if you do hook up with this guy. Think of all the sex you’ll get to have.”
“Oh my God” Emma exclaim and giggled. “Trust you to think of sex.”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t,” Jenna replied. “I mean it has been almost a year since you had a bit of action.”
“God it has,” Emma realized.
“At least you have an excuse,” Jenna sighed flopping back on the sofa next to Emma. “Do you know how long it has been since I got any?”
“How long?” Emma asked looking over at her friend.
“Well let’s just say” Jenna replied. “If it goes much longer, my virginity will have officially grown back in.”
“It hasn’t been that long,” Emma laughed loudly.
“I’m telling you,” Jenna giggles. “It’s been so long, I am starting to worry they have changed it and I will be the only one who won’t know how to do it.”
Emma doubled up laughing and Jenna laughed too.
“Thank you,” Emma said when the both girls managed to stop laughing for a few minutes.
“What for sweets?” Jenna asked.
“For being here,” Emma replied. “For being my friend. And for knowing just how to make me smile again.”
“You’re my best friend, Em,” Jenna replied. “And that’s what friends do. They are there for each other. I know you would be there for me.”
Chapter 13
~Five years earlier~
Emma was supposed to meet Zach the next afternoon but she decided she wasn’t going to go. After what happen the morning she got back from Zach’s, she decided it was too risky. She had lied to her family and friends. She had gotten Grace to lie to Jonathan. And worst of all, she too had lied to Jonathan and she had cheated on him.
She was so angry with herself. She has never been unfaithful on anyone in her life. The one thing Emma had always prided herself on was her loyalty. To her friends, to her past loves she never even contemplated being unfaithful before.
Emma was so disappointed in herself for her behaviour. She knew she could never tell Jonathan the truth about Zach but she vowed she would never be unfaithful to Jonathan again.
Zach text her again and again but she ignored his efforts to contact her. Part of her was afraid that Zach might come to her parents’ house to try and see her but she decided she would cross that bridge if it happened.
She tried to get keep herself busy by concentrating on her wedding plans. But in the back of her mind she kept thinking of Zach. He had texted her almost hourly for the first couple of days but then they grew less and less. Finally he text her that he understood she had to make a decision and that he would respect that.
A week had passed and she had finally gotten herself back on track for the wedding. She had an appointment for another dress fitting. When she arrived the first thing she did was apologize for her behaviour the week before. The dress maker told her that there was nothing to apologize for. She understood how stressful it was for her trying to plan a wedding on her own and that she wasn’t the first bride to snap and she probably won’t be the last.
Emma was relieved when she managed to get through the whole fitting without being stuck by one single straight pin. She left the dress makers an hour later much happier then she had the week before.
She was walking back down Main Street towards the bus stop when a voice from behind her made her jump. It was Zach.
“Hi,” he said nervously as she spun around to come face to face with him.
“Zach,” she said as her face burned with embarrassment. Once again she couldn’t help but notice just how gorgeous he was.
�
��I’m sorry if I startled you,” he began. “I hope you don’t think I am some crazy stalker or something. It’s just I remembered you mentioned you had a fitting today. I just needed...I thought I might see you and maybe we could talk.”
“Zach I’m sorry,” Emma said. She couldn’t help but feel a little flattered at how persistent he was. “You are a really nice guy and maybe if things were different but they’re not. I am marrying someone else in two weeks and I don’t think it fair to lead you on anymore.”
“I understand,” Zach replied. “All I ask for is a few minutes.”
Emma said nothing for a moment. She stood in front of him and looked in his eyes. She knew she should just say no and walk away. But she couldn’t.
“Okay,” she agreed. They walked side by side without saying anything to where his car was parked, down a side street. They both sat into the car for a moment in an awkward silence. Emma stared down at her hands because she knew if she looked at Zach she wouldn’t be able to stick to what she had decided.
“How have you been?” he asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.
“Good,” she replied, still looking down at her hands. She could smell his aftershave and her stomach flipped. Immediately she knew she had made a mistake agreeing to talk to him. “Really busy.”
“I guess so,” he replied struggling hard to find something to say. “What with the wedding getting closer and all.”
“Zach I really need to get back,” Emma sighed, as she opened the door to the car.
“No wait!” he begged as he placed his arm on her arm. It sent shock waves up her body. She turned back to him and closed the door.
“Zach I can’t do this,” she pleaded with him, looking deep into his eyes.
“Okay,” Zach agreed and held her gaze. “If you tell me that you don’t have feelings for me. I will walk away and I promise I will never bother you again. But I know in my heart you feel for me the way I feel about you”.
“I...I can’t,” she admitted sadly, as her heart raced. Zach leaned forward and kissed her softly. Then he slid his arms around her and pulled her closer to him and kissed her again. This time Emma kissed him back. She knew the right thing to do would have been to get out of the car and turn her back on him forever but something held her back. Something stopped her from walking away from him and it scared her.
“I thought I had blown my chances,” he said when their lips finally parted. He leaned his forehead against hers and looking into her eyes. “I have never felt this way about anyone before.”
“Neither have I,” she admitted honestly.
“Do you want to get out of here,” he asked her.
“Yes!” she smiled eagerly.
As they drove through Bray, Emma asked herself again and again what the hell she was doing. She loved Jonathan so much. She couldn’t wait to marry him. He was her best friend. She glanced over at Zach sitting on the far side of the car. He met her glance and smiled. She returned his smile. What was it about him she just couldn’t resist?
They barely made it into Zach apartment before they were pulling each other’s clothes off once again. Zach picked her up and carried her straight to his bedroom. He threw her down on the bed and crawled over her and found her mouth. His hands slid down to his trousers and quickly pulled the buttons open, free his rock hard shaft. He reached for her panties and slid them down her legs as Emma pulled her summer dress over her head. Zach pushed his trouser further down.
He pressed himself up against her and quickly found her mouth, plunging his tongue inside. He wanted her now. Zach had thought of nothing else for the last week except making love to her again. He could wait no longer. He reached down between them and position himself against her and push himself inside her hard. Emma cried out in pleasure.
“Oh God, Emma” he moaned as he rocked into her again and again. “Do you know how much I want you? I have thought of nothing except you for the past week.”
“Well you have me now,” she said breathlessly as she wrapped her legs around him pulling her closer to him. Pulling her closer to him he rolled over until she was now on top. Emma straddled Zach and looked straight into his eyes. She gave him a half smile as she reached around and unhooked her bra, letting it drop slowly down her arms revealing her breasts.
Zach reached up and cupped her swollen breast in his hands and gently stroked her nipples with his thumbs as she slowly began to move above him. She slowly picked up pace and she reached back and grabbed his thighs for support. She threw her head back, lost in the feeling of this addictive man deep inside her.
She threw herself forward as she rode him harder, spreading her hands on his bare chest for balance. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him and he matched her thrust for thrust and both grew closer, Emma was the first to find her release. Her body shook as her orgasm ripped through her.
Seeing this beautiful creature cry out in pleasure was enough to push Zach over the edge as he gripped her harder and slammed up into her one more time, as he came deep inside her.
Emma collapsed breathlessly on top of Zach. As they both lay there breathless and sweating. Zach held her close to his chest and kissed her head as she closed her eyes and listen to his racing heart. She could feel her eyes grow heavy.
“Oh fuck, Emma!” he exclaimed.
“Hmm…” she replied fighting the exhaustion.
“Emma,” Zach said, as he looked down at her resting on his chest. “I am so sorry, I never used protection.”
“It’s okay,” she sighed totally not registering the significances of what he just said. She could fight sleep no longer.
Zach lay there and wasn’t sure what he should do. He knew he would have to tell her again once she woke because he knew what he just said hadn’t registered with her and he felt awful.
He knew he had made a big mistake. He had been reckless and stupid. He knew she was going to be upset and this made him feel worse. He lay there and listened as her breathing became shallow and slower and soon he could feel his eyes growing heavy too. He closed his eyes and soon he too, was fast asleep.
*******************************************
She woke with a start and the room was already cloaked in darkness. She sprung up from the bed and grabbed her clothes and quickly dressed.
“What’s wrong?” Zach asked quickly sitting up in the bed.
“I’ve been gone all day,” she said sitting back down on the bed to put her shoes on. “My Mom will be wondering where I got to.”
“Is that the only reason you’re in such a hurry to leave?” Zach asked as he rested his two arms on his knees.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Emma said stopping what she was doing.
“Are you going to rush off and not see me again?” he asked.
“I wish I could say yes,” she replied honestly. She was touched by his obvious vulnerability. “But I can’t. I don’t know what you have done to me but I can’t seem to stay away from you.”
She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips.
“Don’t go,” he whispered.
“I have to,” she replied. “But I promise you I will see you again.”
“When?” He asked.
“I will try to get away tomorrow,” she promised. “And I promise I will call you.”
She got up and walked to the bedroom door but she stopped when she reached it. She turned back and looked at him sitting in the bed.
“Are we really doing this?” she asked.
“I guess we are,” he smiled.
She smiled back and blew him a kiss then she turned and hurried to the door of the apartment and down the stairs. When she got outside she slumped against the wall and wondered what she was going to do next. She turned and looked up at the window of his apartment. What was she thinking?
She pulled her coat tighter around herself and hurried in the direction of her parents’ house.
Chapter 14
When Emma woke the next morning her h
ead was pounding. She and Jenna had drunk two and a half bottles of wine the night before and she wasn’t feeling the better of it now.
The sound of Lily crying for her bottle pierced right through her head like a dagger and when she sat up the room spun very quickly. She slid her legs out of the bed and took a moment to steady herself. She reached for the bottle and walked over and picked Lily out of her crib and sat in the chair beside the window. She looked down at the little girl lying in her arms sucking contently on her bottle.
“Your Mommy is in such a mess,” Emma said softly as Lily stopped sucking for a moment and looked up at Emma. Emma couldn’t help but notice how much like Jonathan she looked.
“Your Daddy would have loved you so much,” Emma whispered to her little girl. “And I think you would have loved him too. He was a good man. I wish he was still here. He would give me the kick in the arse I need right now. Mind you if he was here I wouldn’t be in this mess right now.”
“Mommy,” Mia said still half asleep from the bed. “I’m hungry.”
“We’ll go down and get breakfast in a few minutes sweetie,” Emma said and smile at her. “And maybe get Mammy a couple of aspirin for my head.”
Twenty minutes later after she had finished feeding Lily and changed her nappy, she headed down stairs followed closely by Mia.
“Good morning pet,” Helen said when Emma walked into the kitchen. “Good morning girls.”
“Morning Mom,” Emma replied as she lay Lily down in her pram. “You’re up early.”
“Ah didn’t really sleep too well,” she replied as she placed a cup of tea in front of Emma.
“Are you ok Mom?” Emma asked noticing how exhausted her mother looked. “Is there something wrong?”
“No pet,” she replied with a reassuring smile. “Just didn’t sleep.”
Emma made Mia some cereal and sat her up at the table.
“So did you have a good night?” Helen asked her daughter as they both sat down at the table.
“Yeah,” Emma smiled as she thought about the night before with her friend. It had felt good to feel normal again even if it was just for a few hours. “It was nice to feel like one of the girls for a night.”
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