There was no way that she could walk so she tried scooting along on her bottom instead. It was sheer agony as even the slightest jolt sent a shaft of red-hot pain shooting through her ankle. In the end she couldn’t do it any longer and was forced to stop. Pulling the collar of her jacket around her neck, she tried to conserve what little body heat she had left, but she was so cold now that her teeth were chattering. Glancing at her watch, she was shocked to see that it was gone seven o’clock. Hemsthwaite Surgery had closed after she had left to do the callout, and it was unlikely that anyone would have missed her. Although Alison was bound to wonder where she was when she didn’t collect Beatrix; would she have raised the alarm? And if so, would people know where to look for her? Tears welled in her eyes when it hit her that she might be stuck out there all night long.
‘Beth!’
All of a sudden Callum was there beside her and Beth stared at him confusion. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Looking for you, of course.’ Stripping off his raincoat, he wrapped it around her. ‘Explanations can wait for now. We need to get you out of this rain. Can you stand up?’
‘No. I’ve injured my ankle.’ She bit her lip, but it was impossible to hold back the sobs that rose up inside her.
‘Shh, it’s all right. You’re safe now.’ He drew her into his arms and Beth cried all the harder. Between the pain from her ankle and the fear that she might have been stranded on the hillside all night long, it was just too much.
‘It’s okay—you’re safe now,’ he repeated as he drew her closer. ‘I know how scared you must have been, Beth, but it’s all over now. We just need to get you to my car then I can drive you to the hospital and get your ankle seen to.’
‘I didn’t think anyone would miss me,’ she muttered, brokenly.
‘Of course we missed you,’ Callum said hoarsely. He tilted her chin and Beth felt her heart leap when she saw the expression on his face, all the fear mingled with something else, an emotion that she had never expected to see. Callum was looking at her as though the thought of losing her was more than he could bear, but that couldn’t be true. Could it?
When his head suddenly dipped, Beth closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see anything else, didn’t want to know if she was mistaken. She simply wanted him to kiss her and make her feel safe even though it defied all logic. Callum had left her. He had left her because he had no longer loved her. Those were the facts but she wasn’t interested in facts at that moment, only in feelings: how Callum felt; how he made her feel. His lips found hers and she shuddered when she realised how cold they were—the coldness of fear. When he parted her lips, she didn’t resist. She wanted to feel that chill turn to warmth, feel fear turn to desire...
‘Hello! Can you hear me? Where are you?’
The sound of a man’s voice broke the spell. Callum let her go and leapt to his feet as Tim Outhwaite appeared. Beth took a shaky breath but her heart was racing. She knew that in another second there would have been no turning back. She would have given herself to Callum right here on the hillside with the storm raging around them. Had she learned nothing from what had happened in the past? she thought, bitterly. Apparently not!
‘Thank heavens!’ Tim came hurrying over to them. ‘I was starting to fear the worst when I saw the cars and no sign of you both.’
‘Beth’s injured her ankle,’ Callum informed him tersely. ‘I don’t know if it’s fractured or sprained but we need to get her to hospital.’
Beth shivered when she heard the grating note in his voice. Was Callum regretting what had happened just now? she wondered, sickly. Wishing that he hadn’t behaved so impulsively? Maybe he had been tempted to kiss her but had it been the heat of the moment that had led him to behave that way? Callum hadn’t wanted her. He had simply reacted to events.
Even though she knew it was foolish, she couldn’t help feeling as though it was yet another rejection of her. It was only the thought of him guessing how devastated she felt that helped her hide her feelings as he and Tim carried her back to the road and got her settled in his car. Hurrying round to the boot, Callum took out an inflatable splint and carefully fitted it around her injured ankle.
‘This should help protect it,’ he said, steadfastly avoiding her eyes.
‘Thank you,’ Beth murmured, her heart aching all the harder when she realised she was right. Callum regretted what had happened because he was afraid of finding himself caught up in a situation he wouldn’t welcome. It was a relief when he turned away to speak to Tim.
‘Can you phone Dr Saunders and let him know that I’m taking Beth straight to the hospital? Her ankle will need X-raying and it’s easier to go straight there.’
‘Of course.’ Tim grimaced. ‘We’ve put you to an awful lot of trouble, Dr Andrews. I’m so sorry.’
‘It isn’t your fault,’ Beth assured him, trying not to think about how hurt she felt. After all, nothing had changed. Callum may have reacted to the heat of the moment but it didn’t alter the fact that he no longer loved her. She hurried on, determined not to go down that route. ‘Can you ask Dr Saunders to phone Alison and explain what’s happened and that I’ll collect Beatrix as soon as I get back from the hospital?’
‘I will.’
Beth sank back against the seat as they set off, feeling more exhausted than she’d felt in her entire life. Between the stress of being stuck out in the storm and what had happened with Callum, she felt completely drained. She glanced at him, studying the shape of his head and the set of his shoulders. Every detail was familiar to her. It had all been logged away in her brain, stored there for eternity. She had loved him so much but her love had meant nothing to him. Tears pricked her eyes. Even if they hadn’t been interrupted, that kiss wouldn’t have meant anything either.
* * *
What on earth had he been thinking?
Callum stood up and paced the corridor outside the X-ray department. Beth was inside having her ankle X-rayed. There was a red light above the door, warning people not to enter, and he sighed. If only there’d been a red light warning him of the danger of being so close to Beth again then he might not be in this situation now. However, the moment he had held Beth in arms, all sensible thoughts had fled. He had wanted to hold her and never stop. Wanted to kiss her and promise that she would never be in danger again as long as there was breath in his body. The urge to protect her had been overwhelming—so was that why he had behaved the way he had?
His heart lurched as he recalled what had happened. It might have started out as an attempt to comfort her but there had been other emotions brewing, far stronger ones too. Holding Beth in his arms had unlocked all the feelings he had tried so desperately to forget. However, the thing that shocked him more than anything else was that he knew Beth wouldn’t have stopped him kissing her. She hadn’t tried to push him away, hadn’t shown any sign at all that she hadn’t wanted him to kiss her. She had simply looked at him and then closed her eyes...
The red light turned to green and Callum desperately tried to pull himself together as the radiographer wheeled Beth out. Allowing thoughts like that to fill his head was only asking for trouble. Maybe she hadn’t pushed him away but it didn’t mean anything. After everything she had been through, she had needed comforting, and he’d just happened to be on hand.
‘I have to see the doctor about my results,’ she informed him tersely. ‘I’m not sure how long it will take so don’t feel that you have to wait for me. I can get a taxi home.’
‘Of course I’ll wait for you,’ Callum said hotly, hurt beyond all reason that she should think that he would leave her to make her own way home. He pushed her back to A&E, his heart sinking when he realised once again what a poor opinion she must have of him. It made him see how foolish it would be to read anything into what had happened tonight. Beth had been scared and upset, and he’d been there. That was all.
It turned out that h
er ankle wasn’t fractured but badly sprained. It would take a couple of weeks for it to heal and in the meantime Beth was not to put any weight on it. The doctor asked one of the nurses to strap it up then gave them a note for a pair of elbow crutches to be collected on their way out and that was that. Callum insisted on pushing her back to his car in the wheelchair then went back to fetch the crutches and stowed them in the back.
‘Would you mind stopping off at Alison’s so I can collect Beatrix?’ Beth asked him as they set off.
‘Of course not.’
Callum left the hospital, taking the ring road that skirted around the city centre. It would be quicker this way and he was eager to get home. Tonight had been tough and he needed time to get himself back on track. Telling Beth how he felt was out of the question: he could see that now. It was guaranteed to make her reconsider her decision to allow him to spend any time with Beatrix, so he needed to batten down his feelings no matter how difficult it was.
Thoughts flowed in and out of his head as he drove and he was thankful that Beth didn’t seem to want to talk any more than he did. It was gone eleven when he drew up outside Alison’s house. Beth immediately went to open the car door but he stopped her.
‘You stay here—I’ll fetch her. Remember what the doctor said about staying off your ankle.’ He didn’t wait for her to reply as he got out of the car and knocked on the door. Alison answered almost immediately, looking relieved when she saw him.
‘Oh, good. You made it. I was wondering what to do if you didn’t get back tonight. I don’t have a cot now that the twins are that bit older, you see.’
‘I’m sorry we’re so late but it took quite a bit of time at the hospital,’ Callum explained, following her inside. Beatrix was in the sitting room, listlessly playing with some toys. She smiled when she saw Callum and held up her arms to be picked up.
Callum swung her up into the air, feeling a whole rush of emotions hit him. He already loved her so much, this tiny miracle he had known nothing about until a few weeks ago. Losing her now would be unbearable and he would do anything to stop it happening. If he had to hide his feelings from Beth for ever then that was what he would do, because he simply couldn’t risk losing his daughter for any reason.
It was a painful thought but one that needed to remain at the forefront of his mind, he realised as he carried Beatrix out to the car. Alison had offered to lend him a car seat as there wasn’t one fitted in his car so he handed Beatrix to Beth while he secured it in the back. Once he was sure it was safely installed, he strapped Beatrix in and drove back to the cottage. Beth handed him the keys to the front door so he could carry a now sleeping Beatrix inside. He took her straight upstairs and placed her in her cot then went back to help Beth.
Using the crutches proved a bit of a problem so in the end he picked her up and carried her inside as well. He put her down next to the couch, quickly steadying her when she wobbled.
‘Thanks,’ she said, ruefully. ‘I’ll have to practise with these crutches. Obviously there’s a knack to using them.’
‘They probably need adjusting so they’re the right height for you,’ Callum said, trying to sound upbeat even though he couldn’t help wondering how on earth she was going to manage. The stairs in the cottage, for instance, were extremely steep and he really couldn’t see her being able to get up and down them even with the aid of the crutches.
Beth was obviously thinking the same as him because she sighed. ‘I hope you’re right, although I don’t know how I’m going to make it up the stairs, let alone carry Beatrix up and down them. Maybe if I try doing it on my bottom, with her on my knee, it might work.’
‘Would it be safe, though? I mean, if she starts squirming around then are you sure you can hold onto her?’ Callum replied, anxiously.
‘No. I’m not.’ She frowned and he could see the worry on her face. ‘I don’t want to put her at risk in any way but what else can I do? I need to be able to bath and change her, put her in her cot—all the normal things I do each day.’
Callum took a deep breath. He had a bad feeling about what he was about to suggest but what choice did he have in the circumstances? ‘Then it seems to me there’s only one solution.’
‘And that is?’
‘That I move in here and help you.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE SKY OUTSIDE the sitting room window was grey and leaden, perfectly reflecting her mood. Beth lay on the couch thinking about what had happened and what she should do about it. Last night she had been too exhausted to argue when Callum had put his proposal to her but she knew that having him living in the cottage was the last thing she needed after what had happened yesterday. Maybe it had been a reaction to the stress of the situation, but there was no way that she was prepared to risk it happening again.
A light tap on the door made her jump and she pressed a hand to her throat to stem the sudden pounding of her pulse. ‘Yes?’
‘Can I come in?’ Callum said quietly from the other side of the door. ‘Then I can make us some tea.’
‘I...erm...yes,’ Beth replied because it would be churlish to refuse. She pulled up the quilt, tucking it under her arms to hold it in place, then sighed. Did she really think that Callum would be so overcome with passion by the sight of her wearing her nightclothes that he wouldn’t be able to control himself? Fat chance of that!
‘How did you sleep, or did your ankle keep you awake?’ he asked politely as he came into the room. It had been his idea that she should sleep on the couch. It converted into a double bed and was quite comfortable. The cottage had a downstairs loo plus a shower and it meant that she had everything to hand without needing to negotiate the stairs.
‘It wasn’t too bad,’ Beth answered in the same vein. Maybe that was the key, she decided. Behave politely and steer clear of anything that could be construed as personal. It was worth a try so she carried on. ‘I took another couple of painkillers around three a.m. and that seemed to settle things down.’
‘Good.’ He turned to go into the kitchen then paused. ‘What time does Beatrix normally wake up? I popped my head round her door but she’s still fast asleep so I left her.’
‘She’s usually wide awake by now!’ Beth exclaimed. She tossed back the quilt as a rush of panic hit her. ‘She is all right, isn’t she? You did check that she was breathing properly?’
‘There was no need,’ he said quietly. ‘It was obvious that she was asleep.’
‘Obvious to you, maybe, but I need to check on her myself.’ Beth swung her legs off the couch, completely forgetting about her ankle in her need to see her daughter. Pain shot through it when she tried to stand up and she gasped.
‘For heaven’s sake, Beth, be careful!’ Callum caught her as she slumped forward and helped her sit down. ‘If you keep putting pressure on that ankle, it will never heal.’
‘I know but I need to see Beatrix and make sure she’s all right,’ she said, raising haunted eyes to his face. ‘You read about cot deaths and I have this awful fear that she might not wake up one day...’ She broke off and Callum sighed.
‘Oh, Beth, don’t torture yourself. You know how rarely something like that happens.’
‘Yes, but I can’t help worrying. She means the world to me, Callum, and if anything happened to her, I just couldn’t bear it.’
‘That’s how I feel too.’ He bent so that he could look into her eyes. ‘I’ve only known about her existence for a few weeks but I love her, too, Beth. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’
Beth knew what he was saying, that he was asking if she had made up her mind about allowing him to take on a more permanent role in their daughter’s life. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that he could, but something held her back. Maybe he did love Beatrix, and maybe he did want to be her father, but would his interest last? She simply didn’t know and it was the uncertainty that stoppe
d her saying anything.
Disappointment crossed his face as he straightened up. ‘I’ll fetch her down then you can see for yourself that she’s perfectly fine,’ he said, his deep voice suddenly grating.
Beth watched him go with a heavy heart. She hated to know that she had upset him but she couldn’t risk Beatrix’s feelings. She had to be sure that Callum would stay the course before she allowed him to play a major role in their daughter’s life. He came back a few moments later with Beatrix in his arms and placed her on the couch next to Beth.
‘Here she is, a little grumpy ’cos she’s been woken up, but otherwise she’s fine. Give me a shout when you’ve finished having a cuddle and I’ll take her into the kitchen for her breakfast. What does she normally have?’
‘Porridge and a sliced banana,’ Beth told him, hugging the baby close to her.
‘Right. I’ll go and get it ready.’
He turned to leave but Beth knew that she had to try to make amends for his disappointment.
‘Thank you for doing this, Callum. You didn’t have to stay and I appreciate it.’
‘It’s the least I can do.’ He turned to look at her and there was a wealth of sadness in his eyes. ‘I’ll do anything it takes to prove to you that I can be a proper father to her, Beth, but, at the end of the day, it’s your call. You have to decide if it’s what you want too.’
He didn’t wait to hear what she had to say, not that there was anything she could think of. Until she was one hundred per cent certain about his commitment then she couldn’t make any promises and how could she ever be completely sure? Callum had sworn that he had loved her, hadn’t he? That was why they had got married, because they had loved one another so much. Even though she had been devastated when he had told her that he’d wanted a divorce, a tiny bit of her had still believed that he’d cared about her. When he had come to see her after the divorce was finalised, and they had slept together, she had honestly thought that he had changed his mind and wanted her back. However, when she had woken up the following morning, he had gone.
Reunited by Their Baby Page 8