Her heart ached as the memories came rushing back as bitter and as painful as ever. How could she believe a word he said after betraying her like that?
* * *
With Beth out of action, it put even more pressure on them at work. Callum agreed immediately when Daniel asked him if he would drive over to Hemsthwaite and work there until lunchtime. Anyone with an afternoon appointment would be offered the chance to be seen at The Larches instead. It wasn’t ideal but it was the best they could do in the circumstances, although it was obvious that they couldn’t continue running both surgeries with so few staff.
Callum left Daniel phoning around the agencies and drove over to Hemsthwaite. Hopefully, Daniel would find someone to cover until Beth returned to work, although he didn’t want her rushing back and end up hindering her recovery. He frowned. He didn’t want her doing too much at home either. She had insisted on keeping Beatrix with her instead of taking her to Alison’s, but he should have insisted that she stick to the arrangements. After all, childcare wasn’t all down to Beth; he should take an active role in it too. He grimaced. Thinking like a parent didn’t come easily to him.
Thankfully, he got through the morning without any major hiccups. One of his patients was a three-year-old boy who had chickenpox. It turned out that he went to the same playgroup as Tilly Outhwaite so no doubt he had caught it there and there would be other cases too. Although chickenpox was a fairly mild childhood illness and rarely caused complications, it could be extremely serious in the latter stages of pregnancy. Callum put through a call to the woman who ran the playgroup and explained what was happening so she could warn any expectant mums. There was no point putting people at risk.
He drove back to Beesdale after he had finished, pausing at the crossroads as he wondered if he should check on Beth. Although she had assured him that she would be fine, he didn’t like to think of her being on her own with Beatrix all day. He drew up outside the cottage a few minutes later and let himself in, heading straight to the sitting room where he was met by a scene of chaos. There were toys everywhere—on the couch, on the coffee table, all over the floor. Beatrix was lying on the rug, fast asleep, while Beth was slumped on the couch. She looked up and he saw the tears in her eyes.
‘I’m sorry it’s such a mess. I’ve never known Beatrix to throw everything around like this before.’
‘Hey, it’s only some toys,’ he said gently, going over to her. ‘It won’t take more than a few minutes to put them away.’ He bent down, his heart aching when he saw how weary she looked. ‘How are you doing? That’s the main thing. Is your ankle all right?’
‘Yes,’ she began then grimaced. ‘Not really. I didn’t like to take the painkillers in case they made me feel a bit woozy and my ankle is throbbing like crazy now.’
‘You need to take them every four hours,’ Callum said firmly. ‘If you let the pain get too bad then it will just take longer for it to die down.’
‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘I was just worried in case I wasn’t in a fit state to look after Beatrix.’
‘I can understand that but you still need to take them.’ Callum lifted them down from the shelf and handed them to her. ‘I’ll fetch you some water.’
He went into the kitchen and filled a glass with water, wishing that he had thought about this before. Beth was bound to be wary of taking the tablets if she thought they could affect her ability to look after their daughter. A fine doctor he was not to think about that, he thought wryly, not that he wanted to be Beth’s doctor, of course.
The thought of exactly what he would like to be was something he knew that he mustn’t dwell on. The situation was volatile enough as it was. Although Beth had spent the night on the sofa, he had been very conscious of the fact that he’d been sleeping in the bed they had once shared. He wouldn’t have been human if he hadn’t recalled how different life had been before the strain of trying for a baby had affected them.
Making love with Beth had been everything he could have dreamed about, their passion for one another reaching heights that he had never known existed before. He had loved her with both his heart and his soul and the thought filled him with a deep sense of regret for all he had lost. It was an effort not to show how he felt as he took the glass of water through to the sitting room. However, the last thing he needed was Beth noticing he was upset, and wondering about it.
‘Here you are.’
‘Thanks.’ Beth downed the tablets then leant back against the cushions with another sigh. ‘I can’t wait for them to kick in.’
‘I bet you can’t,’ he said, sympathetically. ‘Right, now that’s sorted, how about I make you something to eat? What do you fancy?’
‘Anything. I’m famished, but are you sure you’ve got time?’ she said, glancing at her watch.
‘Yes, well, enough time to make you a sandwich. The cordon bleu meal will have to wait until another day, I’m afraid,’ he replied, drolly.
Beth laughed out loud. ‘Since when did you start cooking cordon bleu meals? Eggs and bacon were your speciality. It’s the only thing you ever made for us.’
Beth knew she’d made a mistake the moment the words were out of her mouth but there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t unsay them, couldn’t pretend that she remembered nothing about the time when they had lived together.
‘Hmm, cooking’s definitely not one of my major accomplishments,’ he agreed, ruefully. ‘It’s a good job you could cook, Beth, or we’d have starved.’
‘I doubt it,’ she said quickly, not wanting to go down the slippery slope of remembering all the cosy evenings they had spent, enjoying meals she had made for them. It would only lead to the next memory about how those evenings had ended, with them in bed together. Pain seared through her and she hurried on. ‘I’m sure you would have managed to make something, even if it was only beans on toast.’
‘Maybe. Anyway, I’d better go and rustle something up for you,’ he said flatly, and she had a feeling that he was as keen as she was to change the subject. ‘Should I make something for Beatrix as well?’
‘No, she’s already had her lunch,’ Beth explained, quietly. Had Callum been thinking the same as her? she wondered as he disappeared into the kitchen. Remembering how wonderful their life had been? She knew it was true and it hurt to know how much things had changed. She had honestly thought that they would be together for ever but she’d been wrong. Their love hadn’t been strong enough to withstand the pressures of them trying to conceive. How ironic that what had led to the break-up of their marriage had brought them back together. If she hadn’t given birth to their daughter then Callum would never have contacted her again.
It was hard to shake off the feeling of melancholy that thought aroused when he came back with a plate of sandwiches and a mug of coffee but Beth knew that she had to keep things on an even footing. She frowned when he set the plate and mug on the table beside her. ‘Aren’t you having anything?’
‘I’ve not got time. I covered Hemsthwaite Surgery this morning but I’m needed at The Larches this afternoon so we’ve had to close Hemsthwaite early.’ He shrugged. ‘We simply don’t have enough staff to run both surgeries.’
‘It’s a nightmare, isn’t it?’ Beth said, worriedly. ‘Is Daniel trying to find locum cover?’
‘He was phoning around the agencies this morning when I left,’ Callum explained.
‘How on earth will you manage if he doesn’t find anyone? I suppose I could come in. I mean, if I just sit at my desk then it won’t affect my ankle, will it?’
He shook his head. ‘You know it isn’t as simple as that, Beth. You’ll have to get up to fetch things and examine patients. All it needs is for you to go over on that ankle and you could be out of action for months. No, you need to be sensible and rest it, which is why I was going to suggest that I drop Beatrix off at Alison’s on my way to the surgery. It would be easier if she was
there, wouldn’t it?’
‘I suppose so,’ Beth conceded. ‘I thought I could cope but after this morning, I’m not so sure. She’s run me ragged!’
Callum laughed. ‘Don’t sound so disgusted. You aren’t the only mum who needs a helping hand, especially at a time like this.’
‘Maybe not but I just feel that I should be able to cope.’
‘You can and you do cope wonderfully. But sometimes you have to accept that you can’t do it all yourself and this is one of those times.’ He paused then carried on. ‘It isn’t just down to you, Beth, or it shouldn’t be. Beatrix is my responsibility too.’
‘But for how long, though? Until my ankle’s better? Or until you grow tired of being responsible for her?’
‘You still don’t believe that my interest will last, do you?’ he said harshly.
‘No, I don’t, if you want the truth.’ She spread her hands wide open. ‘Oh, you seem keen enough right now but who knows how you’ll feel in six months’ time?’
‘I don’t know how to convince you that I mean what I say,’ he began, but she cut him off.
‘Oh, I’m sure you mean it at this very moment, but you could change your mind. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time, would it?’
‘Meaning when I asked you for a divorce? You’re never going to believe that I had my reasons for doing what I did, are you, Beth?’
The bitterness in his voice surprised her and she frowned. After all, it had been Callum’s decision to end their marriage, so why should he sound so upset about it? It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him but she managed to hold back. Did she really want to go down that route again, start looking for excuses for his behaviour? She had done that in the months after he had left, dreamt up increasingly bizarre explanations as to why he had gone, and she refused to do it again. Callum had left because he had stopped loving her, and that was all she needed to know.
‘Quite frankly, I don’t care what your reasons were, Callum. The only thing that concerns me now is making sure you don’t do the same thing to Beatrix.’
‘I won’t.’
‘No, you won’t because I won’t let you.’
‘So that’s it then, is it? You’re not even going to give me a chance to prove that I mean what I say?’ he said, hotly.
‘Do you blame me?’ she countered, just as hotly. ‘Why would I want to take the risk of Beatrix getting hurt?’
‘Because I will never, ever hurt her! She’s my daughter and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s safe and happy.’
‘Even if it means staying in Beesdale for the rest of your life?’ she said, sceptically.
‘Yes! If that’s what it takes then that’s what I’ll do.’ He bent so that he could look into her eyes and Beth shivered when she saw the anguish on his face. ‘This is more important than anything else and I only wish I could convince you of that.’
‘And I wish I could believe you, but I can’t.’ Beth could feel her own emotions bubbling up inside her, all the pain and heartache she had felt after Callum had left her coming together to form a huge torrent that threatened to overwhelm her.
‘Then it seems we’ve reached an impasse.’ He straightened abruptly. ‘I just hope you don’t regret your decision when Beatrix is old enough to start asking why she doesn’t see her father. Admitting that you stopped me having any contact with her might not go down too well with her.’
‘If that’s a threat—’ she began.
‘It isn’t. It’s merely a statement of fact. Maybe you need to think about it.’
He didn’t say anything else as he picked up Beatrix and carried her out to his car. Beth watched them go with a heavy heart. She didn’t want to be at odds with him but it was obvious that they saw the situation from two very different perspectives. She sighed as she started to clear away the toys. Callum seemed so sure that he would stay the course but would he? He had spent most of his life since he had qualified working overseas and she simply couldn’t imagine him settling down to life as a rural GP. He might be content enough for a while but at some point the need to move on was bound to surface and she could imagine how devastated Beatrix would be if he disappeared from her life when she had grown to love him. Even if it was difficult to answer Beatrix’s questions in the future, it was a risk she wasn’t prepared to take for any reason. Or anyone.
* * *
The days flew past and the spell of bad weather gradually improved. Callum woke to blue skies on the Saturday morning but it did little to improve his mood. Relations between him and Beth had hit an all-time low and they were barely speaking now. Fortunately, her ankle was healing and she was much more mobile now, although she still had difficulty negotiating the stairs. He knew that once she was able to manage them, she would insist she didn’t need his help, so his time at the cottage was limited.
Although he loved the fact that he got to spend so much time with his daughter, he couldn’t deny that he found it stressful. Being in the cottage had brought back a lot of memories, both good and bad, and he wouldn’t have been human if he hadn’t found himself thinking about what had gone on there and regretting it.
Beatrix didn’t go to Alison’s at the weekend. Callum knew that Beth would claim that she could manage on her own and didn’t need his help, but he had no intention of leaving her to fend for herself all day long. It was just gone seven when he went into the nursery, smiling when he discovered that Beatrix was wide awake.
‘Good morning, madam, and how are you this fine day? Full of beans from the look of you.’
Lifting her out of the cot, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head, feeling his insides scrunch up with love. Although he had treated many children in the course of his work, he’d had very little to do with them on a personal level, and he hadn’t expected to feel this way. It made him see how important it was that he and Beth resolve their issues. He needed to be part of his daughter’s life, not just for her sake but for his as well, and to do that he had to convince Beth that she could trust him, although how he was going to achieve that was a mystery. He was still mulling it over when he carried Beatrix into the kitchen and popped her in her high chair.
‘Oh, I didn’t know you were in here.’
Callum swung round when he heard Beth’s voice. Just for a second his senses whirled as he took stock of what she was wearing, which was very little. In a fast sweep his eyes ran over her, drinking in the sight she made as she stood there dressed only in a pale blue bath towel. It was only when he realised that she was waiting for him to say something that he managed to drag his thoughts together, but it was an effort. The sight of her near-naked body was definitely having an effect on him!
‘I...er... I thought you were in the shower,’ he murmured, desperately trying to clamp down on the surge of desire that was racing through him.
‘I just got out,’ she said, then suddenly seemed to realise her state of undress. Colour bloomed in her cheeks as she swung round and hobbled out of the kitchen. ‘I’d better get dressed.’
Not on my account, Callum wanted to say, but managed to stop himself. He needed to heal this rift between them, not make it bigger. ‘And I’d better give this little lady her breakfast.’
He got everything ready, forcing himself to concentrate on what he was doing and nothing else. Thinking about how beautiful Beth had looked in that scanty little towel certainly wouldn’t damp down his raging hormones. By the time Beth reappeared, Beatrix had finished her porridge and was eating a banana, squeezing the fruit so that it oozed between her fingers.
‘I think she prefers mashed banana,’ he said, desperately trying to keep his thoughts on his daughter’s antics. Maybe he did want Beth but it wouldn’t help his case one iota if he let her know that.
‘So I can see.’ Beth tore off a length of kitchen roll and wiped the baby’s hands. ‘You’re supposed to eat it, darling, not squeeze i
t to death. You’re such a mucky little thing!’
Callum laughed as he took the empty cereal bowl over to the sink. ‘She’ll grow out of it eventually, I expect.’
‘I hope so.’
Beth rolled her eyes as she sank down onto a chair and Callum felt his heart lift just a little. She didn’t appear quite so hostile this morning and he had to admit that it was a relief not to be treated like a pariah for once. Maybe they could arrive at a compromise, he thought as he washed the bowl and put it back in the cupboard. If they tried talking to one another rather than arguing all the time, then surely she would start to trust him? It was that thought that made him make a suggestion he had never planned on making.
‘How would you feel about having a day out?’ He turned to face her, feeling his emotions swirl once more. It had nothing to do with how she was dressed this time but how she had always affected him. Right from the beginning he’d only had to look at her to want her and it was disconcerting to realise how little his feelings had changed.
‘A day out,’ she repeated. ‘You mean go somewhere, together?’
‘Yes.’ He shrugged, trying to keep a tight grip on his emotions. ‘Your ankle’s a lot better and so long as you don’t do too much then it should be fine. I’m sure Beatrix would enjoy a change of scene so why don’t we take her out for the day?’
‘I’m not sure if it’s a good idea,’ she began.
‘It’s just a day out, Beth. I’m not suggesting that we bury the hatchet, although I’m more than willing to do so if that’s what you want.’ He sighed when she didn’t say anything. ‘I just feel it might make things...well, easier if we at least tried to get along. So what do you say?’
CHAPTER NINE
Reunited by Their Baby Page 9