Primani (Primani Series Book One)

by Laurie Olerich

I DIDN'T HAVE TIME to dwell on my newfound sense of peace. Ricki was back from her family’s trip to Charleston, and she was ready to party. It was the Fourth of July and we were headed to the marina to go skiing. I was doing a little happy dance on the dock when Dani showed up with a strange guy. I nudged Ricki in the side. “Who’s the new eye candy?”

  She squinted towards the parking lot. “Oh, he’s an exchange student. He’s from . . . Oh, I forget. Some place. Anyhow, he’s here until January. Wow, he looks like Heath Ledger.” Then she laughed evilly, and added, “Dani said Aric is so pissed! He’s gone ape-shit over this guy staying at her house. He even complained to her mom! It makes total sense now!” She was still laughing when they got to the boat.

  I hugged Dani, whispering, “Oh, my God! Who’s this guy? And why didn’t you tell me you were getting a model? I am so jealous!”

  Dani, being Dani, looked chagrined and apologized for not calling sooner. “Let me introduce you guys. Stefan?”

  The blond-haired eye candy ambled over with an adorably crooked smile. I resisted the urge to stand taller and push out my boobs. All drooling aside, I wasn’t interested in males at the moment. It was all Sean’s fault too. Jerk. Even so . . . The yummy Stefan was stare worthy, at the very least.

  “These are my two best friends, Mica and Ricki. This is Stefan. He’s from Switzerland,” Dani explained.

  Ricki was less than enthusiastic since Kevin and Aric had joined us. She was still hoping Kevin would ask her out, but he kept dragging his feet. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she should move on. There were just some bubbles I didn’t want to burst. I figured someone should have dreams! My days of dreaming were behind me. I was a live-in-the-moment kind of girl now. Happily ever after could kiss my ass—Sean, too.

  After loading skis and snacks, we all squeezed onto the boat. Ricki maneuvered the shiny craft out of the marina. The perfectly calm air turned the lake into a giant blue mirror. Gorgeous! Once we got into the open water, Ricki pushed down the throttle until we flew. The jolt sent us all stumbling into each other. Dani fell against Aric, and he made a big deal out of catching her. Yes, Aric, you’re a stud. Good job, dude. Dani was dimpling up at him but turned around to wink at me. It was time to reel her man in. I almost felt sorry for him, poor dumb guy. She was enchanting when she wanted something. Once she made up her mind, no one said no to her. Her mother never could, I hadn’t done it yet, and Aric would give her whatever she was whispering about now. No doubt about it, the dimples were impressive.

  It wasn’t long before we were out far enough to ski. Ricki slowed the boat to a stop, and I bounced into Stefan’s arm. He caught me against his bare, and very muscular, chest. I was laughing. He was laughing. Everyone else was gawking. I turned beet red all the way to my boobs.

  Still chuckling, I put some space between us and turned magenta when Aric teased, “Holy shit, Kevin—look at Mica’s face! Could she get any redder?”

  “By the way, Mica, where’s Sean?” Kevin asked with an evil smile.

  Ricki, being the awesome best friend she is, hit the throttle a bit, and Kevin fell on his ass. I gave him the finger and grabbed the skis. I’d been waiting all week for this.

  In minutes, I was flying over the water, literally. My skis were barely skimming the surface and I gave the thumbs up for more speed. I had five more minutes and was making the best of it. The boat went sixty miles an hour, and today I was maxing that out. The rush was incredible! I let myself fly. I was free!

  Buuutttt . . . not for long. Reality can be so rude. A boat was approaching from the starboard side. From the corner of my eye, I could make out a couple of people on the deck, but I wasn’t close enough to see faces. Aric kept the speed high, and I was showing off. I did a little hip wiggle as we passed the boat and nearly fell off my skis. I was so surprised, that I stumbled and nearly lost it. Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall. Aric slowed down, and I sank into the lake. I floated with my back to the Mystic, cursing fluently in two languages—English—and girlfriend.

  When Aric stopped to pick me up, I waved happily in case anyone was watching. Stefan reached over the side to help me in. Gorgeous, but clueless Stefan . . . with his ripped chest and curling blond hair . . . Perfect! I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him pull me up. Take that, you jerk on the boat.

  By the time the sun had set, I’d shaken off any lingering thoughts of Sean and thrown myself into enjoying the rest of the holiday on the beach with my friends. Stefan was occupied with someone other than me—many someones. Everyone wanted to meet the cool guy from Switzerland. Most of those people were girls, and they all wanted to screw him. Bitches. He had so many half-naked bodies sprawled against him that I’d need a bottle of bleach to clean him up again. I growled in my throat. Stupid cows. He met my annoyed glare with a lick of his lips and a quick wink. Whatever. I tossed my head and took a swig of my drink. So what if everyone else was paired up and getting all snuggly on the sand? Huffing under my breath, I dumped my empty beer can into the trash and crossed to the ice chest for another. I wasn’t interested in him. Not even a little bit. Nope.

  “I’m afraid to try to kiss you now. You look like you’ll bite me.” Stefan came up behind me and whispered against my hair. He was standing very close, and I tensed in surprise.

  “If you startle me like that again, I might accidently kick your ass,” I said with a slow smile.

  He laughed at that and came around to face me. He looked me up and down and sighed. I knew what he saw. I ran 50 miles a week. I followed an intense workout routine I bought from an infomercial on TV. My muscles were lean but strong. I did self-defense training twice a week too. Sure, I might look and behave like a typical girl, but I was training my body and mind to kick ass, if anybody ever assaulted either of those again. I knew people talked about me sometimes. The whole thing with Scott was old news now, but people still whispered. I didn’t let it bother me, but I wanted them to know I would not go down so easy next time. And if my stronger body couldn’t save me, the stun gun I carried would help out. I was in charge now. That felt pretty good. But tonight I wanted romance, not violence.

  “Don’t worry. I won’t bite as long as you play nice.” I slipped my hand in his, smiling up into his eyes. They were clear and green, unclouded by secrets. His hair was blowing away from his face, and the light from the fire flickered across his skin. I hoped I looked as good right now.

  He ran his palm down my back, and murmured, “Let’s go for a walk. It’s crowded here.”

  My stomach did a little flip-flop as we left the group. We walked barefoot along the water’s edge, skipping out of range when the cold water splashed across our feet. Someone had left a lawn chair in the sand, and we wandered over to it. Stefan pulled me onto his lap and kissed me.

  His lips were soft and felt nice against mine, but I didn’t see fireworks. I pulled back and peered into his eyes. They were still a beautiful green, and that was the problem. They weren’t filled with the blue fire that could ignite me with a glance. This wasn’t going to work. I sighed. Stefan misunderstood my sigh for interest and kissed me more passionately, his hands gripping my face, holding my mouth to his as he slipped his tongue inside. I tried, really, I did. I kissed him back with enthusiasm, but still no fireworks . . . No warmth in my belly; No tingling in my blood. Very quickly, his excitement became obvious; I should probably get up. Before I could though, the sound of voices interrupted us.

  “Mica, is that you?” Dec was striding towards us with an angry scowl clouding his normally sunny face.

  Now what?

  In my struggle to get out of the wobbly chair, I nearly knocked us into the sand. Stefan helped me up, stiffened, eyes shooting warily beyond Dec. I groaned out loud. Of course he wasn’t alone. Killian was with him. I casually looked around for the one I wanted to see.

  Killian said, “He’s not here. Don’t bother looking.”

  His tone set my teeth on edge. “I can see that. What do you want?”
>
  “Oh, now it’s attitude? Nice. We actually came to make sure you were okay.” He looked down his nose at Stefan, and added, “But I see you’re handling yourself just fine.”

  Dec still looked angry, and said, “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?” He glanced at Stefan and added, “Sorry, dude.”

  “Sure. I’ll be right back,” I told Stefan.

  We moved a few feet away before Dec stopped me. He looked over his shoulder with another frown. Killian was speaking to Stefan. To the average person, it probably seemed like they were just hanging out. But Stefan’s face was tense, his eyes narrowed. He was pissed, but he’d be crazy to try anything with Killian.

  “So what do you want, Dec?”

  “I wanted to make sure you are really okay. Do you need anything? Have you had any more trouble with Flynn?”

  Something in his voice made my skin prickle. He was warning me . . . and he was honestly worried . . . It was impossible to stay frosty with him, so I relaxed and responded with less sarcasm.

  “Dec, you’re sweet. But I don’t need you to worry about me. I’m a big girl now, and I can take care of myself. I’m ready for him if he comes after me again.” I even flexed my biceps for him.

  He didn’t look convinced. “I think you should know I’ve heard rumors . . . it sounds like he’s planning something, uh, nasty, for you. I’m sorry to have to tell you that, but I couldn’t leave it to chance.” He rolled his eyes at Killian.

  “Oh, and let me guess. Killian wanted to leave it to chance? Is that why you were so mad when you got here? Were you arguing about telling me?”

  He hesitated. “No, I was pissed at seeing you with that . . . that tool over there. How could you do that?”

  “Do what? Move on now that Sean has blown me off? Find someone else to hang out with? Someone who wants to be with me? Oh, yeah, I guess I should just sit around and wait for him to come around. Sorry, Dec, I liked Sean, really. But he’s blown me off, remember? This isn’t what I wanted.” My voice caught at the end.

  “You don’t understand what’s going on, and I can’t tell you anything else. Please, just know that Sean would be here if he could.”

  Oh, yeah, right. Like today? It was too much. I snapped, “Really? Well, that’s news to me. Where is he?”

  “I can’t say, and here comes Killian. He’s going to kill me if I say anything else.”

  Killian came up, and announced, “Time to go, Dec. The others are waiting for us.” He looked over his shoulder at Stefan, and added, “Be careful. Everything has a point of no return, and you could get caught in something you can’t handle.”

  Dec kissed my cheek, his lips brushing my ear. “Bye, Mica. We’ll be here if you need us. Just call my name.” He winked and left me standing there with an irritated Swiss hottie.

  The mood was dead so we went back to the rest of the party. We sat together, but my mind was someplace else. My thoughts drifted back to the night I spent with Sean. He had opened up about a lot of things, but what did I really know about him? He was a mystery still. And Dec? Sweet boy . . . Another mystery was he. My fingers stroked my cheek where he had kissed me. The spot had been tingling since he left.

  A few weeks later, I was playing pool at The Angry Lizard with Ricki and Kevin. I liked the funky neon lizards on the logo and there was always good music. After the third horrifying defeat, I told Kevin I was going to grab some air on the outside patio. Maybe some oxygen would help my shitty pool skills. The second I walked outside, my instincts started nagging. I was halfway to a snow-covered table when I hesitated. The streetlight didn’t quite reach the patio, and the outside lights hadn’t been turned on. Too dark. Too empty. Probably I should go back inside.

  I had almost reached the door just as he crossed the sidewalk. The blood drained from my face. Shit! I left the stun gun inside with Ricki. Damn it! With my back pressed to the wall, I moved the last two feet towards the door. I had my fingers on the handle when J.J. walked through and blocked it. I was trapped.

  “Where’re you going, baby? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Scott sneered with a smarmy tone that made my skin crawl.

  A ball of ice formed in my stomach. “Get lost, Scott. You know you’re not allowed this close to me. What’s the matter? You ready to go back to jail? Missing your boyfriend?”

  Oh yeah, when in danger, be a smart ass. This is always a good plan.

  J.J. snickered and reached out to grab me. Jerking my arm out of range, I swung around, kicking him squarely in the chest, sending him flying backwards through the open doorway. Scott charged me and snatched at my arm. I aimed a roundhouse kick at his crotch, but he turned at the last second so I caught him in the thigh instead. He grunted at the impact, but didn’t go down. He swung a fist into my cheek that sent me swaying and nearly falling to my knees. I planted my feet and shook my head to clear it. A voice inside my head was screaming to yell for help, but I couldn’t seem to get the words past the terror clogging my throat.

  Chuckling meanly, Scott circled me with his eyes locked onto mine. The madness I saw made my stomach clench. Like watching a rabid dog, I kept my eyes glued to his every movement.

  I need help. I need help.

  The thought tumbled through my mind, but I was frozen in place until Dec’s face swam in my memory. He said to call his name. Would it work? It was worth a shot.

  Feeling stupid, but more than a little desperate, I forced a ragged whisper from my lips. “Declan? Help!”

  Scott made a sound, not quite a laugh, and moved in for the kill. From the opposite side, J.J. was closing in on me too. A truck squealed to a stop in the side driveway. Someone opened its back door, shouting at Scott to hurry the fuck up.

  Oh, my God. No, no, no!

  This was very, very bad. It was crystal clear. Scott didn’t plan to attack me again and leave me here. He and his friends were going to take me someplace private. Someplace they could play with their new toy before they broke it and threw it in the landfill. Cold sweat poured down my back. If I got into that truck, I would never get away. I would be helpless, and no one would ever see me again. Well—that wasn’t going to happen without mass casualties.

  My adrenaline was running on high, and I was running on autopilot. I kept them at bay for about fifteen seconds, but I was outnumbered and they were both much stronger than me. My training wasn’t going to help for long. They were slowly backing me into a corner when J.J. shoved me hard from the side, sending me flying against the wall. The pain took my breath away. Dazed, I lost focus for a second just as Scott’s fist connected with my temple. As my knees buckled, someone suddenly caught me under the arms. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Out of nowhere, Dec had showed.

  Sean and Killian also appeared. They took about a second to size up the situation before attacking. Both of their eyes were burning like a hot blue flame. Scott and J.J. backed away. The truck roared off.

  “What the hell? What’s wrong with you freaks?” Scott demanded.

  Without a word, Sean and Killian attacked with a ferocity that sent warning bells clanging in my head again. Where did they learn to fight like that? It was freakin’ amazing—terrifying, but amazing. Scott and J.J. tried to put up a fight at first, but were so outmatched it was almost sad. Sean and Killian swatted aside any punches they threw while pummeling them into bloody wrecks. Realizing they were about to die, they tried to run away. In a split second, Sean and Killian had both men pressed against the wall. Killian held J.J. up off of his feet by his neck. J.J.’s eyes bulged in terror. He made strangling noises while frantically kicking his legs.

  Killian stared coldly, and said, “Give me one reason to let you live.”

  J.J. started babbling, and Killian squeezed his throat harder. “Shut up.”

  Sean had Scott pinned to the wall with his forearm against his throat. The lines of his face were rock hard, eyes still burning. He didn’t look completely human. Scott was panicking. His mouth was open in a scream, but no sound came out. He was lo
oking around wildly for help, but there was no one to help him. He appealed to me. I gave him the finger.

  Sean said, “I’m getting tired of kicking your ass. You just don’t learn.” Then he pressed down on Scott’s throat. “Do you want to die?”

  Sean’s words faded into silence; my vision tunneled to a single dark point. I was losing consciousness, struggling to stay awake. Dec cradled me in his arms, murmuring something in a language I didn’t understand. Face bright with rage, body shaking, he watched the fight with frightening intensity. He was so pissed his eyes were glowing. What the hell is that? I tried to wriggle away, but he squeezed me tighter, hard fingers digging into my arms. He looked dangerous, and I was more than a little freaked out.

  “What’s the matter? I’ve got you. Those guys can’t hurt you now.”

  I pointed at his face. “It’s not them I’m worried about.”

  He blinked, and his eyes were perfectly normal again. “Better?”

  “Uh, yeah, what . . .”

  “It’s no big deal, just the lights in the alley. Don’t worry about it.” He smoothed my hair away from my face and smiled crookedly at me.

  The dimples must’ve distracted me because I forgot what we were talking about. As the adrenaline wore off, pain took its place. My ribs hurt. My shoulder hurt. My hand hurt. My face was numb, though. I must be going into shock. Someone should warm me up. In response, Dec seemed to get warmer around me until I was cocooned in his body heat. He smoothed strands of hair from my bloody cheek, murmuring in a strange language. I tried to ask what was going on, but he put his finger against my lips and shushed me.

  I came to in my bed surrounded by several angry men. Sean was arguing with Killian. Killian was pointing at me, whispering furiously. Dec stood next to my head with his arms crossed, still as a statue. They were all talking with an older guy who I’d never seen before, but who seemed kind of familiar. Who was he? The others treated him with some deference. Maybe he was one of their dads? He graced me with a warm smile the second he noticed that my eyes were open.

  “Mica’s awake now. Very good. How are you feeling?” He came to the bed, squatting to study me with grave blue eyes.

  “Who are you?”

  “My name is Raphael. I’m here to help you. Do you mind if I take a look at your face? You have a good bruise coming up, and I want to see if you have any broken bones.”

  He seemed nice enough. I appealed to Dec for reassurance. He squeezed my fingers, smiling faintly. “It’s okay, darlin’. He knows what he’s doing.”

  Sean considered us with narrowed eyes. He still hadn’t said anything to me. I wanted to curl up against him and feel safe again. But now was not the time or place.

  The man named Raphael sat down on the edge of the bed and took my face in one of his hands. Long and lean, his gentle fingers were feverishly warm as they cupped my chin to examine me. Probably, I looked horrible. It seemed like my face was always black and blue or yellow and green. Why did I always get hit in the face?

  He chuckled, and said, “Hold still for a minute. This won’t hurt at all.” He closed his eyes. Running his fingers over my face, he traced the bones around my eyes and cheeks then stroked along my jawbone. My skin warmed and tingled at his touch, and the numbness vanished. Gazing at him in awe and a little fear, I raised my trembling fingers to my cheek.

  “Did you heal me? How is that possible?” I winced as my rib protested the movement.

  “Here, let me see that.” He laid his hand across my rib cage—I felt the same flow of heat—and the pain was gone. He had definitely healed me.

  “I’m afraid this will have to be our little secret, Mica. I’m not allowed to talk about this and I’m asking you to keep this to yourself. Many people could get hurt if word got around. I’m going to leave now. You and I will meet again, but for now, I believe young Sean would like a word with you.”

  Dec gave me a pat on the head like I gave the dog. He grinned crookedly, and said, “Try to stay out of trouble, and call me any time you need help. I’ll always be there. It’s what I do.” He waved Killian out the door, and they were gone. The silence was preternaturally loud.

  Sean stared out of the window with his back to me. He held himself rigid, and I ached to touch him to release the tension. What was eating at him? He’d looked miserable ever since he’d shown up tonight. I drank in the lines of his body, the curve of his skull, and swallowed the lump in my throat. When I closed my eyes, the memory of his touch, his taste, flooded my senses, sending my heart into happy skitters. It was no use. I still loved him. Just seeing him made me want to throw my arms around him and beg him to stay. The silence grew uncomfortable until I finally wrapped my arms around his back. There was an instant shock at the contact, but I refused to let go.

  “You can shut off your force field—I don’t bite.”

  He stiffened at my words, but started to laugh, the sound rich and welcome. He laughed until he had tears in his eyes. I hate being left out of a private joke. What was so funny? I must have looked irritated because he finally went from laughing, to chuckling, to a heartbreaking grin.

  “All done? Do you want to tell me what the joke is?”

  “No. I. Do. Not.” He said each word distinctly, grin gone in a flash. Serious Sean was back.

  “Well, then . . .”

  “Mica, you’re driving me fucking insane. Why can’t you stay out of trouble? You’re just one girl! This should be easy! But you have a psychopath determined to rape you and cut you to pieces. You’re reckless with no regard for your own life! Do you think you can just run around taking risks without consequences?”

  He gripped my shoulders, pulling me against his chest, tipping my chin back to force me to meet his eyes. He stopped shouting, but the quiet anger in his voice was worse. “I can’t keep up with you! I can’t keep you safe. I can’t stand to be around you. I can’t stand to be away from you. You’re a complication I don’t need and can’t afford.”

  Stung, I cried, “What do you want from me?”

  “I wish I knew.” He crushed his mouth over mine.

  He kissed me in frustration and anger; hard and demanding, taking everything, giving nothing back. Moaning in protest, I tried to squirm away, but he refused to let me go. Bending me backwards, he gripped me so tightly his fingertips dug into my skin, but his mouth gentled. His tongue swept over my bruised lips, soothing the slight twinge of pain before slipping inside to mate with mine. The familiar current slammed through me, making me dizzy and hungry. Tiny lights danced behind my eyes—my knees went weak—my body sang for his. I was light and weightless and whole again. Our breaths mingled as we clung together; all thought vanished until there was nothing but raw need and desperate passion.

  Plastering myself against him, I clutched his shirt, dragging it over his head, smoothing my palms over his muscles on the way. His beautiful mouth molded perfectly to mine as he angled me down on the bed, covering me with his body. He was burning hot and gloriously hard. I closed my eyes as he trailed his tongue over the pulse jumping in my throat, nibbling and kissing his way down. With one hand on my breast and the other pushing my thighs open to cup my sex, he took over, and I swear my entire body cheered. I arched my hips, inviting more, ready to beg if he didn’t cooperate.

  He groaned against my nipple, clever fingers stroking my folds through the thin fabric of my pants. When he brushed the sensitive little nub, I gasped and rolled my hips against his hand, helping, urging, wanting him to finish what he started. Was that me making those little panting sounds?

  “God, baby, you’re so hot. I want to strip you naked and make you scream.” He dipped his head and caught my straining nipple between his teeth, nipping hard before wrapping his tongue around it.

  My hips jacked off the bed, jamming his hand harder against my crotch and nearly strangling him with my breast. “Yes, yes. Good plan!” I was so totally on board with naked and screaming.

  But instead of stripping my clothes off and
burying his cock between my legs, he dragged his mouth away and shoved himself up to his elbows. The loss of his touch was nearly painful; my heart ached, my lungs desperately reached for air. My sex tingled and wept—and not happy tears, either.

  “I’m so sorry, love.” He practically flung himself off of the bed.

  “What’s wrong, Sean? It’s okay.” I was on fire and didn’t want to wait. I was in love with him and there would never be anyone else for me. There was a click in my head when he kissed me. “I want to be with you.”

  “What you want doesn’t matter.” He eyeballed the door as though it were an escape hatch on a sinking ship.

  I put my arms around him again and pressed my cheek against his chest. I stood there listening to his breathing. It was ragged like my own. My heart pounded in my chest. I drew a deep breath to slow it down. Surely he could hear it too. He drew me closer and sighed. I tensed. I knew that sound. He was about to leave—again. Oh, no you don’t! I eased up on my tiptoes to press my lips against the side of his neck. I could feel the blood flowing through him, and I kissed him where the pulse throbbed.

  “Stay?” I whispered.

  In answer, he walked us over to the bed with a resigned expression. As the backs of my calves bumped against the mattress, the light bulb went off in my head. Ah ha! Two could play this game. A hint of a sad smile crossed his mouth as he lowered his mouth to mine. I started to feel it—the strange drowsiness I’d felt before.

  Not today, Sean. I bit his lip and held it between my teeth. Surprised, he tried to jerk back but couldn’t move without losing flesh. I smiled in victory.

  I put my hand over his mouth, and warned, “Don’t you dare.”

  He blinked at me. Twice.

  “Oh, yeah, I know about that. I don’t know how you do it, but I know you’ve been making me fall asleep. Now that I think about it, you’ve done it a few times. When you get uncomfortable, you knock me out. It’s cheating, you know. And you should be ashamed of yourself.” I was feeling righteous.

  His expression was a cross between shock, horror, and amusement. His sense of humor finally won out, and he burst into laughter for the second time tonight. I was speechless.

  “You’re too smart for your own good!” His chuckles petered off into a weighty silence. He lifted my fingers and kissed them hard. “You’re right. I am ashamed. But not for the reasons you think. I’m not cheating—I’m trying to protect you. I can’t seduce you; it wouldn’t be right. I’m ashamed because I can’t keep my hands off of you. My control is slipping, and I’m putting other people in danger by allowing this to go on. I can’t stay here with you, and you deserve to have someone who can build a life with you. I’m not that person.” His eyes glittered like ice. He stood up to go, finishing bluntly, “I’m not taking your virginity.”

  I blushed to the roots of my hair. “You jerk! Don’t act like I’m throwing it at you! You don’t want to have sex with me? Fine—you keep telling yourself that—but the massive hard-on in your jeans doesn’t freakin’ lie. Deny it all you want if it makes you feel righteous. We’re meant to be together and it’ll happen whether you fight it or not. I feel it in my heart. It’s destined.”

  He had frozen halfway to the door. Now, he turned slowly, his face and throat flushed, eyes still gleaming, hands shaking as he struggled to calm down. The next words were forced through his teeth. “You’re wrong. I’m not your destiny.” He sucked in a deep breath and said, “I should go. This convo’s going nowhere.”

  My turn to take a deep breath. “Wait. If you leave, I’ll have nightmares. Stay here and talk to me. Your virtue is safe with me. I won’t even think about touching you. Please?”

  Scowling at the ceiling, he ground his teeth but didn’t voice the argument that seemed to be strangling him. Choosing to ignore his simmering annoyance, I got us some drinks and put on some music to hopefully soothe the savage breast.

  After a few minutes, Sean rolled his stiff shoulders, leaned against the side of the bed, and closed his eyes. “Tell me about your nightmares. What do you see? What triggers them?”

  “Scott Flynn triggers them. I dream every time I see him.”

  I described the dreams; I told him about the endless hallways and doors, the shining knife, and the beast. I had never shared them with anyone else, but he made me feel as though I could tell him anything. He wanted to know everything about them so I took a long time to get through them and was emotionally drained at the end of my story.

  “So at the end, there is only fear. That’s it—just overwhelming fear.” Sitting beside him on the floor, I had my knees tucked up to my chin and was hugging them.

  He stroked the palm of my hand. “Is there nothing else there? No hope for you in your dream?” He sounded oddly wistful.

  His eyes were a deep ocean blue with bright flecks of gold that caught the light around us. Another light bulb went off. “Hope? I suppose there is. Sometimes I see a golden light. It’s beautiful and pure, and I feel . . . protected . . .” My voice trailed off at his nod of encouragement.

  “It’s you,” I breathed.

  He tried to shake his head, but he wasn’t fast enough. “Now, Mica—”

  “Don’t deny it. It all fits together. The light in the hospital, in my dreams, around your body—it’s the same.” Holding my breath, I searched his face for answers. “What are you?”

  He took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh. “Would you like me to lie to you? I can’t tell you the truth.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Can’t—I’m not allowed to tell you the truth. No one is supposed to know about us. A lot of people could get hurt if this got out.”

  “Sean, I’m not going to say anything to anyone. I think I’ve been way more trusting and patient than you deserve. I want to know what I’m involved with.”

  “Let’s just say we’re really well-trained operatives keeping an eye on things.”

  Uh-huh. “Like spies?”

  Spies that glow when they’re sleeping? What? Is he radioactive?

  “Something like that.”

  “Mm hmm. I’m not buying that.”

  “Well, that’s what I’m selling you. Take it or leave it. I can’t say anything else; if I do, they’ll make me leave here and reassign me someplace else. You don’t want that, do you?”

  No, but I did want a better explanation. “Okay, fine. That’ll work for now.” But only for now. I’d bide my time. Clearly he wasn’t trying to hurt me so I’d give him some space. He’d come around eventually. I’d wear him down.

  Sean took me by my shoulders. “Will you keep our secret, Mica?”

  He was back to scary soldier-mode again. This version of Sean was more like Killian. I could imagine his hard face scaring enemies across the planet. I swallowed and put on a brave mask.

  “Cross my heart. I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

  He relaxed a little then, so I asked, “Does this mean you’ll stay, now that I know? There’s no reason to avoid me now, is there?”

  He pulled me into his arms and rested his chin on my head. “I’ll stay. God help me.”

  Chapter 9: Pain and Suffering