He always thought about telling Karen off, but since she was dating his best friend and was a coworker, that would probably cause more problems than the momentary relief would be worth. Instead, he changed the subject. “Shannon’s ex-boyfriend is apparently at this party. Do you know what he looks like? I’ve only seen him in his armor.”
“Just think of the word ‘douchebag’ and try to put a face to it.”
He tried that, but all he could think of was Lance. “Hey, where’s Lance?”
“Somewhere around here having fun.”
“And you’re not?”
She shrugged. “At least I’m not sweaty and nervous-looking.”
“Maybe you’d have more fun if you were a nicer person.”
She sipped her drink. “That doesn’t seem worth trying.”
Behind Karen, Terrance noticed another pale, eyeless face. Noseless, too—just two nostrils. And a mouthful of sharp, yellow teeth.
“What are you staring at?” Karen asked.
“Oh…there’s some sort of demon soldier at this party.”
“There are lots of weird people here.” Karen looked behind her, then started to walk away. “I think I’ve talked to you enough; I’m going to mingle elsewhere.”
The thing was facing Terrance—not that Terrance was sure it could see him, but he made sure to direct his attention elsewhere. He was never comfortable at parties, but he seemed to have reached his nadir this time. He headed back to where Shannon had been, but all he found there now was Lance talking to Shannon’s friend Amber. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but as he got near, Amber smiled at Lance and walked off.
Lance turned and saw Terrance. “Hey, I have to say, Shannon has a lot of attractive friends.”
“Aren’t you dating Karen?”
“Well…yeah. But it’s not super-serious.”
“Does she know that?”
“You worry too much, dude.”
Terrance looked around the crowd. “I have reason to worry. Shannon’s ex-boyfriend is here, and he seemed kind of psycho when I last met him.”
“What’s he look like?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only seen him in big, scary armor.”
“Like that?” Lance pointed to a figure across the room in a horned helmet. Chet. He was looking right at Terrance, walking toward him.
“Dammit.” He turned to Lance. “If something happens, will you back me up?”
Lance glanced at the approaching figure. “Against him? I’ll give you moral support.”
“Terrance!” Chet called to him, his booming voice loud and clear over the din of the party.
“What?” Terrance stood his ground. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”
Chet came right up to Terrance, looming over him. “I disagree, little man. I am wary of you.”
Terrance felt he should have been a little more scared—especially because of the giant axe strapped to Chet’s back—but with all the weirdness going on, he was happy to have someone to lash out at. “Well, wary away, buddy, but leave me and Shannon alone.”
Chet leaned in close and whispered. “You are nothing, and she will be mine to enjoy again.”
Now Terrance really wished he had his sword. He was so enraged that his first instinct was to punch Chet, but he knew that was a bad idea because of the armor, so instead he struck Chet’s helmet with an open palm. Chet barely budged, but returned the favor with much more force to Terrance’s head, sending him backward into a folding table, knocking it over. Terrance was dizzy and his face felt wet. He tried to get up, but Chet was on top of him, pressing him down and whispering, “I know about you, little man. I know your secrets. This is only the beginning.”
Shannon screamed obscenities, rushing to Terrance’s side as Chet stood up. “Get away from us, you psycho!” Shannon yelled.
Chet chuckled and turned to leave. “It’s not me you should worry about.”
Chapter 16
Frightening, snake-like eyes stared at Terrance, yellow with vertical black slits in the middle. There was something disturbing and unnatural about them that chilled him to his very soul. Sure, in his memory, cats always had eyes like that, but it was yet another one of those things that, for some reason, Terrance now thought just weren’t right. Like demon soldiers wandering around a party. A vast cavern under one’s apartment. One’s girlfriend having an ex who always walked around in armor, carrying a huge axe.
“Just lie still.” Shannon doted on him, dabbing his face with a wet cloth. She frowned. “I’m so sorry this happened.”
Terrance was having a bit of trouble getting comfortable, as he was currently inside the evil-looking fortress next to the volcano. It was Shannon’s apartment, though, so the walls of black stone were decorated with posters of kittens, and pink curtains decorated the window overlooking the volcano and the large flying creatures above it. And silently staring at him was an overweight tabby cat named Amidala—though Garfield seemed like the better pop culture reference, if Garfield could still be considered “pop” culture.
Terrance was lying on Shannon’s soft bed while she sat next to him, watching him carefully. Standing near them was Lacey, looking embarrassed. “This is all my fault,” she said. “I should have just told Chet not to come.”
“It’s okay,” Terrance said. “I’m okay.”
“I just feel awful,” Lacey continued. “We teased you, and then you get hit by Chet. I really want to make it up to you.” Lacey started to unzip the back of her dress. “Here, let’s have a three-way.”
“Not funny, Lace!” Shannon shouted. “You’re making him all red again.”
“Sorry. Sorry.” Lacey looked at Terrance, her expression more serious. “You’re a good guy, Terrance. I appreciate how you stood up for Shannon. Next time we see each other, hopefully it will be in much friendlier circumstances.” Lacey turned and left, her dress still partially unzipped.
Terrance lay back on the bed and took a deep breath. “You have some interesting coworkers.”
“Me and the girls, we are something,” Shannon said. “But sorry you even had to see Chet.”
“That one is a real piece of work.”
“Yeah, I feel stupid for ever having anything to do with him. You didn’t need to try to fight him, though.”
“I didn’t like how he talked about you. I definitely don’t like him near you.” He was worried about Shannon’s safety around someone like Chet, but that wasn’t all of it. He wondered how much there was to Chet’s claims about knowing his “secrets.”
“I avoid him most of the time, but I can’t always do that because of…the job.”
“Maybe…get a different job.”
Shannon laughed. “Over him? No. I love this job. And you should see me and the other girls in action together.” Shannon hesitated a moment. “Well, I guess you probably shouldn’t see that, but anyway, we’re really good at what we do.”
He remembered how Shannon had told him that Talia had slain a couple of her coworkers. “Do you often lose your friends in this line of work, though?”
She lay down on the bed and snuggled up next to him. “That’s nothing to worry about.”
“I don’t understand how that’s nothing to worry about.”
“Then just trust me.” She kissed Terrance on the forehead. “What I’m worried about is you getting into fights. You really fought Chet over my honor?”
He really had. He certainly had never done anything like that before, but when Chet had referred to Shannon as a possession, Terrance’s anger made him forget all his fear and other concerns. She was beautiful and sweet, and he wanted nothing more than to protect her from jerks like Chet and every other evil in the world. A realization came to him, and with trepidation he voiced it: “I love you.”
The pause before Shannon reacted felt like an eternity, but then she smiled as happy tears welled up in her eyes. “I love you, too!”
They kissed, the moment only somewhat spoiled by Terr
ance’s cut lip making it slightly painful.
After the kiss, they continued to lie on the bed together, looking into each other’s eyes. “I have a man who loves me and fights for my honor.” Shannon giggled. “Well, you’re very brave. Like Batman.”
“Batman would have lasted longer than one punch.”
“Yeah, well Batman probably couldn’t code web applications, so you’re even.”
Terrance thought about that; his guess was that Batman was a pretty good programmer, but he decided not to dispute the assertion.
“Anyway”—Shannon frowned—“because I love you, please don’t do something dangerous like that again. If you ever run into Chet, just ignore him.”
“Seems like someone should do something about him before he hurts anyone.”
Shannon shook her head. “He only hit you because you hit him. He’s never going to start anything or do any real harm…unless it’s against one of those terrorist people.”
“Terrorist people?”
“Yeah, the ones I told you about before, the ones trying to destroy this world. I believe they call themselves the Infinite.”
That’s who he’d assumed she meant. The moral choice of having to pick a side in some supposed fight between good and evil had been tearing Terrance apart, but now that he realized he loved Shannon, things seemed clearer. There was so little he understood lately, but now he had one thing to hold on to: he and Shannon loved each other and needed to be together. The other details would have to be figured out around that. He wanted to believe her, about her people fighting on the side of good and preserving the world, but if he decided her side was evil, then he’d have to save her from it somehow. It was as simple as that. “So what does this fortress guard?” Terrance asked.
“What do you mean?”
He sat up in the bed and looked out a window at the things flying outside. “It’s just, well, a fortress. Up on a mountain. I thought maybe there would be something behind it that it was guarding.”
Shannon sat up, too, and shrugged. “I don’t know; that’s above my pay grade.” She leaned her head on Terrance’s shoulder, her soft, blonde, sour-apple-scented hair rubbing against his chin. “Probably something important but not worth worrying about.”
He put his hand around her waist and held her close. There was so much he still had to decide, but he was determined to figure it out.
The building shook with a high-pitched roar. Terrance pulled Shannon closer and looked out the window to see something flying just outside, massive and covered in spikes.
Shannon giggled. “That’s just Malcus. Don’t worry about him.”
Terrance couldn’t avert his eyes from the terrible creature until it was out of view. “What is it?”
“A demon dragon—a combination of a demon and a dragon. He was sent here to help with stuff.”
“Sent here by who?”
“I don’t know. The higher-ups.”
“Who are they?”
“Again, I don’t know. Wow, you sure ask a lot of questions about my work. You make me feel bad that I never ask many questions about your job.”
“My job is stupid and boring.” Terrance once more looked around the dark, stone room deep within the ominous fortress, decorated with girlish sensibilities. This was wrong, and he couldn’t convince himself otherwise.
“I guess what I do may seem interesting, but it’s all pretty routine,” Shannon said.
“A demon dragon is routine?”
“Whatever gets the job done.”
“And that job is?”
“To protect this world.” She gently caressed Terrance’s cheek. “And everything we care about. Now, I think we have better things to talk about.” She kissed him, and Terrance tried to lose himself in the moment, but it was hard with the soreness, the overwhelming sense of evil in this place, and the cat watching them.
Terrance needed to pee. It was the middle of the night, and Shannon was sleeping soundly next to him. He watched her lying there peacefully, feeling once again how lucky he was—other than that he had apparently stumbled into some giant world conflict involving her. And his need to pee didn’t make him feel too lucky, as Shannon’s little apartment in the fortress didn’t have its own bathroom and he’d have to wander down the dark hallways of the creepy, evil-looking place to find the men’s room.
There was no other option, so Terrance got up, pulled on his pants and shirt, and looked out the window. He didn’t see Malcus…not that he was likely to run into the giant monster on the way to the bathroom. He glanced down again at sweet Shannon. This was insane; he had to get her away from all of this somehow.
He headed out of her apartment, into the hallway. It was long and very dimly lit, the only light coming from the glowing eyes of demons’ heads carved into the walls. Terrance slowly crept down the hallway, looking carefully at each of the demon faces to make sure they weren’t actually moving. He definitely preferred it when he and Shannon crashed at his apartment.
He eventually reached a wooden door labeled MEN and slowly pushed it open. Inside, it was pitch-black. He groped against the stone wall until he found a switch. He flipped it, and a couple of fluorescent bulbs hummed to life. It was a normal-looking bathroom, other than the black stone that made up the walls, ceiling, and floor, and Terrance quickly made his way to a urinal. After completing his business, he went to wash his hands, but it was one of those annoying faucets that you push down and the water runs only for a few seconds. With some effort, he got his hands washed. When he glanced back up at the mirror, he thought he saw a face behind him.
The lights went off. Terrance spun around, looking through the darkness in terror. Then he saw the shine of eyes from the ceiling. One of those dark things that he had seen in many other places was up there, staring at him. “Hey.” With effort, Terrance got some control over his trembling. “I’m just going to head out of here, okay?”
Suddenly, there was another pair of eyes on the ceiling next to the first, then another. And then another and another. He looked down to find that they were standing next to him on the floor, too. They were all around him, moving toward him. He was about to cry out but something grabbed him from behind and clasped a cold hand over his mouth. Then they were all on him.
Chapter 17
Terrance found himself on a hard, smooth floor. He must have blacked out, but he was now in a place that was well-lit. He was on his back, staring up toward the ceiling…but he couldn’t see it. The building he was in seemed to go up and up forever. The heating bills for the place must be enormous. He got to his feet and looked around. It was a very large room with a marble floor, lit quite brightly, though Terrance couldn’t make out any light sources, and above him was the infinite ceiling. It was like he was in a completely hollowed-out skyscraper.
Near one wall was a throne on a platform, and on it sat a cloaked figure. “Hello, Terrance,” the figure called out in a friendly voice.
“Um…hey.” Terrance approached the man. “Where am I?”
The figure rose from his throne and descended the stairs of the platform. “You are nowhere, really.”
Terrance finally got a good look at the figure: he was dressed in a red hooded robe, black gloves, and a golden mask for a face that stared out with black eyes and a frozen, stoic expression. It creeped Terrance out more than a little. “So, who are you?”
“This we will discuss. But first…” He made a sweeping motion with his arm, pointing to the side. “Coffee and doughnuts.”
Terrance looked in the direction of the gesture, and saw an elegant oak table holding a box of doughnuts and a cardboard container of coffee. He didn’t really feel hungry or thirsty, but when he noticed the doughnuts were Krispy Kreme and the coffee was Starbucks, it was difficult to refuse. “Oh, thanks.”
“You may sit if you wish to be more comfortable,” the masked figure said.
There was a maroon easy chair next to the table. Terrance loaded one of the elegant china plates on the tabl
e with three doughnuts—a cream-filled, a jelly-filled, and a plain glazed—and poured himself a cup of coffee, then took a seat in the chair. All the while, the figure stood nearby, watching silently through his frozen, golden mask. “Thanks for the doughnuts,” Terrance said. “So, what’s going on here? Am I in trouble?”
“No, we are just going to talk. Oh…” The figure walked to a cabinet, opened it, and leaned over it. Terrance could only see his back, but when the figure stood up and turned back to Terrance, he was wearing a new mask. It was golden like the first, but featured a large, grotesque smile, as though it was the death mask of someone who had died from the Joker’s laughing gas. “Hopefully this face appears friendlier.”
Terrance had found the first one much less creepy. “Are the masks necessary?”
“I have no corporeal form.”
Terrance nodded, as he guessed that made sense. “So who are you?”
“Think of me as like the one called Drakpor.”
“I don’t know who that is.”
The masked figure was silent for a moment. “Sorry, I must have gotten confused; I thought that was a pretty common reference from your universe. What’s the name of the planet you’re from?”
“Um…Earth.”
The figure nodded. “Okay, I remember which universe now. Think of me as like the Wizard of Oz…the unseen man behind the curtain, manipulating things.”
“So should I call you Mr. Wizard or something?”
“I am often referred to as ‘The Caretaker’ in your realm, when referred to at all, for I am the caretaker of your universe and many others.”
Terrance wondered if this was the Adversary that the Infinite had told him about. “Have I done something wrong?”
“Again”—the Caretaker pointed at his freakish smile—“this is a friendly discussion. I like to keep close watch over the inhabitants of my universes and to personally get involved when necessary. I always have time for my people, because I live in a realm beyond time.”
Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled Page 13