It was a convincing argument; the monstrous creature, Carl, did have a huge mouth full of sharp teeth, and looked like he could easily swallow Terrance whole (or render him not whole). Still, Terrance didn’t want to jump to conclusions. “Carl, I’m looking for my destiny down here—a quest meant just for me. Do you know anything about that?”
“I have existed many years and know many things. I will show you what I know if you come with me.”
“He’s just going to eat you if you go in the water,” Jenna said. “You should come with me or you’re going to really regret it.”
“The mermaid—though seemingly sweet—is what you should fear,” retorted Carl.
“Can’t one of you just tell me where to go?” Terrance asked.
Jenna shook her head. “Not really; I kinda have to show you.”
“It is I who must lead the way,” Carl insisted.
Terrance grimaced. “I have to just blindly trust one of you? I don’t really know either of you.”
“You know me,” Jenna pouted. “We talked about Aquaman and you agreed he was really cool.”
“I didn’t agree to that,” Terrance blurted out, and quickly regretted it, as it was not an argument he wanted to waste time on again. He looked at the temple across the lake, which was one of the most conspicuous features of the cavern. “What about that temple over there? Should I check that out?”
“No, it is a terrible place,” said Carl.
Jenna shook her head as if responding to whether Aquaman should be kicked out of the Justice League. “You don’t want to go there. It’s filled with ghosts.”
“Ghosts are real?” Terrance asked.
“Yep,” Jenna said. “Haven’t you ever watched Ghost Hunters?”
Terrance smiled. “This reminds me of something: the end of the computer game Myst. This is a spoiler, but the game is like a million years old now. Anyway, there are two brothers who each keep telling you not to trust the other. Finally, at the end, there is one thing they agree on: don’t touch the green book, because it’s dangerous. So, guess what you’re supposed to do?”
“Stay away from the green book because even they agree on it?” Jenna asked.
“It does seem like a terrible idea to meddle with the green book,” Carl said.
“I’m going to that temple,” Terrance declared. “I don’t know what game you two are playing, but I’m not a part of it.” He smiled, feeling proud of how he had figured things out.
“So which of us do you want to take you there?” Jenna asked.
Terrance frowned. “Oh yeah.” It was quite a long swim to the temple, so it did look like he’d have to trust one of the two to get him there. He looked at the massive, scaly creature with the sharp teeth, then at the cute, smiling mermaid. “I think I’m going to have to go with the obvious choice, Carl, and have Jenna help me cross. No offense.”
“None taken.” Carl sank below the water until he was just a giant shadow moving down below.
“You can ride on my back!” Jenna exclaimed, moving near the shore and turning around.
“You can carry me?”
“Oh yeah, no problem. Come on!”
Terrance took off his glasses and put them in the hard case in his pocket that he’d thought to bring along for a situation such as this. He also took out his cellphone and set it on a nearby rock. “You think that will be fine here?”
“Yeah, it’s not a high-traffic area.”
Terrance slowly waded into the water and climbed onto Jenna’s naked back, sitting down with his hands on her shoulders. She took off, a little faster than Terrance would have thought she could manage. “You’ve given people rides like this before?”
“Just short ones, since I never really go anywhere. Such are the ways of the water nymphs.”
“Never go anywhere?” Then the last word finally registered in Terrance’s head. “You’re a nymph?”
She flipped over, sending Terrance into the water. He splashed about frantically as he looked around, seeing that he was halfway between the shore and the temple, and thus a decent distance from either. Then he saw Jenna’s face as she floated in front of him. She was still smiling, but there was now something scary about the smile. “I finally have you out here alone.” Before Terrance could react, Jenna disappeared below the water and Terrance felt a tug as he was yanked below as well. He hadn’t properly held his breath, and was already in a panic as soon as his head dipped beneath the water. He tried to swim away, but Jenna had a tight grip on his left leg and kept pulling him further below. He was soon at the bottom of the lake, Jenna holding his leg tight as he tried to kick away. And in desperation, an odd thought came to mind—perhaps the single oddest thought since Terrance had first gotten his sword: What would Aquaman do? Terrance stopped trying to kick away and instead wrenched himself around so he faced Jenna. This change in movement momentarily confused the mermaid, causing her to pull closer to Terrance. Terrance got his free leg down against the lake floor and pushed himself toward Jenna, swinging his fist in a mighty underwater punch that connected to the mermaid’s head. She fell back, clutching her face, allowing Terrance to burst up toward the water’s surface.
He gasped for air as his head crested the surface. Terrance wasn’t familiar enough with Aquaman comics to know if the superhero had ever punched a mermaid in the face, as that didn’t sound very heroic even though Terrance was feeling a bit mighty at the moment. He saw the massive Carl floating a few yards away, gazing at him. “Okay, you were right,” Terrance told him. “She tried to kill me.”
Carl opened his giant mouth full of teeth and charged at Terrance, who had suspected that might happen and therefore already had his hand wrapped around the gun tucked into his waistband holster. He pulled out the Glock and fired at Carl, who cried out before turning and sinking beneath the surface.
Terrance awkwardly swam toward the temple while holding his gun in hand. He didn’t think Aquaman ever used a gun—he knew Batman certainly never did—but he wasn’t Aquaman or Batman. He was effing Terrance Denby.
Nothing else attacked him, and he soon reached a dock made of stone that stretched out in front of the temple. He pulled himself up out of the water and stood on the dock, looking back over the lake for a second before turning to look at the temple. It stretched high above him, its face ancient and crumbling, the pillars in front of the doorway looking like they might collapse at any moment. From the entrance and the windows he could see, it looked quite dark inside. It really did seem like the sort of place that would be filled with ghosts. Terrance paused for a long while as he considered whether he really wanted to enter it, but then he heard a splash behind him and quickly ran inside.
Chapter 37
“You have come, Terrance Denby.”
The voice echoed throughout the temple. The place was dark, with a few torches scattered around, though each one seemed to give enough light only to illuminate the pillar it hung from. Terrance put his gun back into the holster tucked under his shirt and tried to brush his clothes smooth—which was rather pointless, since they were soaking wet. “Who are you?”
“I am the one who will test you.” The voice seemed to come from everywhere.
“And what do I get if I pass the test?”
“What do you require?”
“I need my sword back…and any other weapon that can help me fight the forces of the Darkness and rescue those I got captured.” Terrance thought a little more. “And I want answers.”
“Your sword will be returned. You will get what you need to destroy the Darkness and defeat its minions. And you will get the answers to all your questions.” There was the sound of stone scraping against stone, and Terrance could see a light ahead, growing bigger as a stone door lifted up. “Let us begin.”
He considered asking the tester how dangerous this would be, but he realized that with what the tester had offered him, there was no way he would refuse—or at least that he shouldn’t, when people were counting on him. And goi
ng forward would probably be easier not knowing. Still, he took one last glance at the exit behind him before proceeding.
He entered what appeared to be a small, empty room, lit a bit more brightly than the entryway, as this room had more torches. A sudden crash made Terrance jump, and he turned to see that the door behind him had slammed shut. It reminded him of The Legend of Zelda when Link would enter a new room in a dungeon and was about to be forced into a battle with a mini-boss.
A section of the floor began sliding away in the center of the room, and from the new hole rose a pedestal. On it, a small white rabbit sat, curiously sniffing the air. Next to the rabbit was a ball-peen hammer.
“Kill the bunny with the hammer,” commanded the voice.
Terrance raised an eyebrow. “Wait? What?”
“The hammer. Take it and use it to kill the bunny, to complete this test.”
Terrance looked up…not that the direction seemed to matter with the disembodied voice. “Why do you want me to kill a bunny?”
“The reasons are unimportant. I will give you all that you desire, but first the bunny must die by your hand. So pick up the hammer and crush its bunny skull. It is your destiny.”
Terrance had assumed the disembodied voice was part of the quest he sought, since it knew his name, but now he was wondering if he should have asked for some form of identification. Still, if this was what it took to help the Infinite, he thought maybe he would have to kill the rabbit. He watched as the rabbit sniffed the air and seemed blissfully unaware of the drama around it. Then he stared at the hammer. He just had to pick it up and…
“Know what?” Terrance said. “This is stupid. I’m not killing a bunny, you weirdo.”
The platform with the rabbit and the hammer lowered back down, and the floor closed above it. “You have passed the test of compassion,” the voice said. “You may proceed.” A stone door across the room now opened.
“Oh, okay. That was…interesting.” Terrance headed into the new room. It was another small, empty space lit by torches, and once again the door slammed shut behind Terrance.
“Now, the test of your mind.”
Terrance nodded. “Okay. That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“I will give you a riddle,” the voice said. “You will answer it correctly or you will die.”
“Die?!” Terrance looked around the empty room to try to see what might kill him. “You’ll kill me if I get a riddle wrong? Is there a time limit on this?”
“You have until you die to answer,” answered the voice. “Here is the riddle…” As he spoke, the words of the riddle were burned into the wall to Terrance’s left.
I swing the axe triumphantly,
Fist in the air,
Only to be made the fool.
I pick a flower not for my love,
But for whom I hate the most.
Terrance stared at the words for a few seconds. “Can I at least get a category?”
“The category is: Things You Must Answer So You Will Not Die.”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Terrance yelled. He then tried to concentrate, because he was worried about being killed at any moment, and answering the riddle seemed like the only way out of it. And the whole reason he was here was that he believed the Infinite’s claims about his own power in this world, so answering a riddle should be nothing.
He considered the part about an axe, but of all the people he could think of who wielded an axe, nothing seemed to fit the rest, not even vaguely. Then he concentrated on the last part about a flower, trying to think of when one might pick a flower for someone one hates. Maybe if it was poison, he thought, but still nothing fell into place. He tried to think of what other purposes one might have for this flower-picking scenario, but he couldn’t think of any.
“You must answer, or you die.”
“That’s not helpful!” Terrance shouted up at the voice. He was shivering from his soaked clothes, so he moved near a torch, hoping it might dry him off and help him focus his mind. He stared for a moment at the flame. A flower for one I hate…
Terrance smiled as it all clicked into place. “I know the answer. You are Mario, from the original Super Mario Bros. game.”
“Is that your final answer?”
This made Terrance hesitate, but he felt time was short if he wanted to be of any help to the others. “Yes, I mean, he has his fist in the air when he jumps to get the axe that’s past Bowser, and then he’s made a fool because the princess is in another castle. And the flower he picks for his enemies is the fire flower that lets him shoot fireballs. It all seems to fit. So”—Terrance took a deep breath—“final answer.”
There was silence. It seemed to last an eternity, during which Terrance once again tried to imagine what could kill him in this seemingly empty room. Finally, the voice spoke. “I would also have accepted Luigi. You may proceed.”
The door across from Terrance slowly slid open. Cautiously, he entered the next torch-lit room, which was much larger than the first two. He was on a raised area over a pit, and overhead was a domed ceiling with light shining down through its center, onto the pit. In the pit stood a massive figure with rippling muscles and the head of a bull.
“You will fight the Minotaur,” the voice announced.
Terrance stared at the beast. It had to be at least nine feet tall, and in its hand was some sort of mace so large that Terrance doubted he would even be able to pick it up. “Well…I don’t have my sword.” He reached for his holster. “I do have—”
“No guns,” said the voice. “You may use only the weapon I provide to you.” Another torch lit up near Terrance, revealing a long wooden stick below it. “Here is a bo staff. You strike with the end of it. Either end works.”
“Thanks for the bo staff fighting instruction,” Terrance said through gritted teeth, as he picked up the stick and looked at the massive Minotaur. “That creature is going to smash me to pieces with his metal club thingy.”
“Flanged mace,” the voice told him.
“Yeah, with that.” Terrance looked at the bo staff in his hands. The only experience he’d had with one was a brief period when he was younger of pretending to be Darth Maul. “And if I don’t fight him?”
“Then you fail the test,” the voice answered. “And those whom you know as the Infinite—both the captured ones and those going to rescue them—will die.”
“You can see the future?”
“I can see the truth no matter what time it resides in.”
Terrance looked again at the Minotaur, which stood silently staring back at him. “And if the Minotaur kills me?”
“Then they also die. If you wish for them to live, you must fight and win.”
“And I can win this, right?”
“There is a possibility.”
Terrance twirled the bo nervously. “Like how big?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“How do I know that anything you’re telling me is true?”
“If you think me false, then leave. Maybe I’m lying and everyone will end up okay.”
But the thing was, Terrance didn’t think the voice was lying. For some reason, he knew he had to do this if he wanted to help the Infinite. Before he let himself debate it any further, he jumped into the pit.
He instantly regretted it. The Minotaur looked much larger and much fiercer up close. Still, Terrance tried to calm himself. “I don’t really get what the big deal is about Minotaurs, anyway,” he said, trying to keep a steady voice. “What do you have…like, bull powers?”
The Minotaur snorted and charged. Terrance fled. There wasn’t much room to run around the pit, though, and the Minotaur had much longer legs. You have to fight! he told himself. The only way to win is to fight. So he pushed away the fear for a moment and stood his ground, swinging the bo as the Minotaur came near.
The Minotaur swung back with his mace (the flanged one), and the force of the blow shattered the staff and knocked Terrance to the ground. The beast
stood over Terrance and reared back for the finishing blow. All Terrance had time to do was put up his arms to shield himself and wait for the end.
But the end didn’t come. Terrance peeked through his arms, and the Minotaur was gone.
“You have passed the test of courage and sacrifice. You have passed all the tests, Terrance Denby. You are worthy.”
Panting, Terrance got to his feet. “I’m done?”
A door opened on one side of the pit. “You are done with the tests. Now receive your reward.”
Terrance entered the doorway and found a stairway leading down. There was another doorway at the bottom of the stairs that led out to a lit platform surrounded by darkness. Terrance could see neither walls nor a ceiling—just dark all around, except for the platform. What it was lit by, he could not tell. On the platform was a stone table, and on the table, a scroll. Beyond the platform, Terrance could sense something moving in the darkness—something massive. He could hear a faint sound above, of two people discussing which house to buy. “Is that my TV?”
“I often hear you in your apartment,” said the voice, now clearly coming from whatever massive creature waited in the darkness before Terrance. “I have tried many times to summon you.”
“You’re the thing that pounds on my floor when I make noise.”
“I have come to this little universe to rest, and sometimes your noise disturbs me…but that is not the matter here. You have completed the quest, and now your destiny awaits.”
Terrance walked over to the table. He was hoping for something more than a scroll, but still he was quite curious about what answers were inside it. He slowly and carefully unfurled it—not certain how old it was—and read the words inside.
FEAR IS YOUR DIRECTION.
Terrance stared at the words for a few seconds. “Is this it?”
“It’s a prophecy for you,” the voice answered.
Terrance rolled up the scroll and set it back on the table. He took a deep breath. “Why did I waste my time on this quest when I could have just gone to a Chinese restaurant and gotten a FORTUNE COOKIE?!”
Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled Page 29