You Are My Sunshine

by Angie Merriam

  Chapter Nine

  I only lived about ten minutes from Trish's place by car, twenty minutes on foot. We bought the house I live in when Matt was hired onto the police force. It was on the outer limits of town and sat on half an acre. The property that bordered mine was my parents. I liked having them close, especially after Matt and I split up. I felt safe having them so close.

  I pulled into the long driveway and saw my dad fixing the fence that surrounded both lots. I stopped and rolled down my window. “Hey, Dad,” I yelled. His head turned towards the car, and his face lit up. “Well, hello, Sunshine,” he called back before setting his tools down and walking over to me. I often wondered why my parents named me Sunshine. Sometimes it seemed so cliché when people greeted me. My parents loved the clichés and used them whenever possible. When I asked my mother about my unusual name, she told me that I was her little miracle baby. She and my father had tried various times to conceive, but none of the pregnancies went full term. She said the sun was shining right into the window when she read the pregnancy test and it was positive, and she took it as a sign. She knew this pregnancy would be different, and she was right. From that moment on she told my father that the baby was her little ray of Sunshine so if I were a boy I'd have been called Sonny. My mom was naming her baby after the sun, boy or girl.

  “I'm glad to see you. Your mother was worried, but I told her there was nothing to worry about.”

  “Worried about what?” I asked as I got out of the car. I knew where this was heading and didn't want my little big ears in the car to hear.

  “You didn't come home last night and with all these murders going on she got all upset. I assured her you were fine and here you are. You should go over and see her, let her know you're okay.”

  “Yeah, Dad, I will”

  “Where were you?” And there it was. I knew he wouldn't leave it alone, and I couldn't lie to my parents. I tried many times as a teenager but it never worked out for me. Kenny and Alice, my wonderful parents, had a special talent, seeing right through their daughter’s bullshit. It didn't take long for me to realize the truth was always better. My punishment was always worse when I lied.

  “Matt's,” I said nonchalantly hoping he wouldn't press the subject, but I knew he would. My dad, God bless him, was not a man who would just let things go. A slow smile spread across his face, not the reaction I was expecting. I'd expected a stern look and serious lecture but a smile, no, I wasn't expecting that.

  “Well, it's about time you forgive him,” he said, his arm resting on his shovel. Standing there in the sunshine in his dark blue jeans, button up flannel and cowboy hat, my dad looked like he should be on a ranch in Texas. He was a working man, always had been and when he retired he went to work on his land. He worked the land, and my mom worked the kitchen. Their marriage was what I always envisioned for my own marriage and was sorely disappointed when it fell apart.

  “What are you talking about, Dad? Have you been in the sun too long? Matt cheated remember? I don't know what's happening between us yet. I don't know if I am going down that road again. We are taking it slow and keeping it private. The kids don't even know so please don't let this conversation leave us. Okay, Dad?” He let out a sigh and brushed the hair out of my face. We shared the same curly dark hair and olive skin, but it was my mother’s face that mimicked my own. Round with high cheekbones, deep green eyes, and small mouths. I'd always hated my mouth but my mother always pointed out how my upper lip curved into a perfect bow in the center. Dani has the same mouth which I now love.

  “Why don't you take the kids up to our place? They can play outside while you and Mom talk. I think she might be able to help your dilemma.”

  “What are you talking about, Dad? Are you going crazy in your old age?” I asked sarcastically. In truth, my parents were young still, early fifties and lucky to have retired early. My dad made some smart investments that allowed them both to retire by fifty.

  “Just do as I say. Tell your mother to tell you the story,” he ordered with emphasis on 'the'.

  “The story, huh?” I mocked, and he smiled his striking smile. “Yes, now go.” He kissed my forehead and went back to the fence he had been mending before my interruption.

  Well, now I had to go see my mother. I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't. I took the left turn at the fork in our driveway and drove to my parents’ modest house. My mother was hanging clothes on the line that was strung between their house and the garage. Their place was really a classic building. Beautiful craftsman style painted in bright yellow, like the sun. As I previously stated, my mother loves the sun. It boasted a huge wraparound porch, an enormous swing set and small play structure for the kids. Having me as their only child, they spoil the hell out of my kids.

  “Well, hello, sweetheart,” my mother said in her sweetest voice. I knew she was itching to ask me where I'd been all night and maybe scolding me for not calling her and making her worry. I didn't blame them for worrying. Two girls from our town had shown up dead recently. I should be more considerate.

  “I was at a friends house,” I said not ready to tell her about Matt. She was already pissed at me. I didn’t know how she’d respond to me staying at Matt’s. She didn't respond. She really was pissed at me.

  “I'm sorry if you worried, Mom, I should have called but I didn't plan to stay there. It just kind of happened.” She continued hanging her clothes. Once the last piece was secured to the line with the old fashioned clothes pin, she lifted the wicker basket and walked over to the porch swing. She sat down and patted the seat beside her for me.

  My mother never lost her cool. She always remained calm and levelheaded. She rarely raised her voice, but her silence was enough to wound you. She never cussed and her hair and makeup was done to perfection every day. I sometimes thought she was a southern woman reincarnated. I was the complete opposite. I cussed like a sailor and was a screamer. My dad raised me to be tough, not to let anyone take advantage of me. I loved him for that.

  “Dad said to have you tell me 'the' story, whatever that means,” I said and sat beside her while Elijah played on the swing set and Danica played in her little play yard.

  “He did, did he?” She responded. “Well, I guess it's time.” She was confusing me as my father had. What the hell was going on with all their rambling and story talk?

  “Please, Mom, what is this story you’re supposed to tell me. You and Dad are freaking me out!”

  “Do you love Matt?” She asked to my surprise.

  “Why are asking me that?”

  “You didn't come home last night. I assume you stayed with Matt since I know you're not dating right now.”

  “Maybe I stayed with Trish? I said I was at a friend’s house,” I countered.

  “You have the look, Sunshine,” she said sweetly, her mouth turned up in a small smile. She knew me well, so once again I had to tell the truth. My mom always saw right through bullshit.

  “Yes,” I replied softly.

  “And we know he loves you and those kids.”

  “How do you know that when I don't even know it? I mean, I know he loves the kids, but me?”

  “Because, at one point in time I was you, sweetheart and your dad was Matt,” she said softly. It took my brain a second to catch up.

  “Holy shit, Mom! Are you saying Dad cheated on you? What the fuck?” I blurted out without thinking.

  “Watch your mouth,” she responded scolding me.

  “Sorry, Mom, but really, that's kind of a shock. What do you expect me to say?”

  “Shocking or not if you don't clean up your mouth your kids are going to be running around with the word flying from their mouths.” She hated that word. I usually tried to keep my mouth in check around her, but she'd just laid a bombshell in my lap, so I figured I deserved to say fuck at least once.

  I decided on, “Sorry, Mom,” instead and encouraged her to go on.

  “It's not an easy story to tell, especially with what's been going on arou
nd here lately. You see before you were born your dad and I were having some problems. I was severely depressed about not being able to carry a baby full term. Four miscarriages will take a toll on a woman's heart, mind, and confidence. Anyway, I took things out on your father and he just didn't know how to deal with the situation. Back then we had our own town whore and the day her daughter was born I knew history would repeat itself.”

  “Dad had an affair with Keely's mom?” I asked. This story was getting twisted. Keely's mom went missing shortly after her tenth birthday, and the town assumed she ran off with a man. ‘Like mother like daughter’ was not just a saying for the Braxton girls. Keely was raised by the minister of our church after her mother's disappearance but even his holiness couldn't tame her. She'd definitely taken after her mother.

  “Yes, only it went on for a few months before I found out. We split up. I was devastated as was your father. But I still loved him. To make a long story short, after about a year I decided to forgive him and we've been happy since, twenty five years later,” she said happily.

  “But didn't you have a problem trusting him?” I asked. “Weren't you afraid he'd hurt you again?”

  “No, because if he didn't truly love me he would have walked away and never came back but he didn't. He courted me and fought to win me back. He knew if it happened again there would be no second chances, no redemption. Plus, I know your father, inside and out. I knew he would be true to me but we had to work at it. We both had to change some things about ourselves to make it work but it was worth the fight. We got you out of it,” she said and patted my knee.

  “Well, you have definitely given me a lot to think about, Mom. You know. I’ve done the math. I think. But can you please confirm for me, was Keely my half-sister?”

  “No. Brenda left town after your father called it off with her. She came back months later pregnant. I honestly was concerned and demanded a paternity test. He’s not her father. No one knows who is?” She seemed certain and that was enough for me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “What did you mean when you talked about history repeating itself? I mean I get the whole cheating thing but something tells me there's more.” I watched my mother suck in a deep breath and fidget with her hands. My mother only fidgeted when she was really upset and that wasn't often. She had perfect self-composure.

  “Well, I know everyone in town assumed Keely's mother, Brenda, ran off with some man. Maybe she did but there is a different theory that only a few of us older folks know about and we tend not to discuss it.”

  “What is it?”

  “Well in the months prior to her disappearance, two women’s bodies were found outside of town, just like Keely and Amanda. I believe Brenda Braxton was murdered like those girls, like her daughter. We have no proof though. Back then we had no evidence and the murders stopped so the case closed but now, it's happening again.”

  “Holy shit, Mom. Sorry but holy shit! Do you think Matt knows about the old murders?”

  “Probably not. We decided a long time ago to put it to rest but maybe that was a bad idea.”

  “Well, he needs to know now. What about Trish's dad, does he know?”

  “No, it was before they moved to town. The only one left on the force that knows about it is Walt Davis. He was a young rookie back then and I'm sure he wants to forget about the killings.”

  “Yeah, well it's time to remember. This is big, Mom. I have to tell Matt,” I said and kissed her cheek. “I have to get home and change but thanks for the talk. I'll keep it all in mind.” I called for Elijah and scooped up Danica while my mother kissed her and hugged her grandson.

  “I'll talk to you soon, Mom. Oh and by the way, Matt's coming for game night and dinner tonight. Who knows?” I said and winked at my mother.

  “He's a good man, Sunshine. Don't let your pride get in the way.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too, Sunshine.” She waved as we drove back down her driveway and towards my own home.

  I felt giddy inside, like things were the way they were supposed to be. I reminded myself not to get my hopes too high. Things with Matt had to be taken slowly. Knowing my parent's history helped though. I was glad my mom shared the story with me. I was also excited to talk to Matt about the old murders. I figured any information would help the case and find the bastard. Murders were definitely not something the town of Lincoln saw every day, or even every twenty years. I pushed all thoughts from my head when I pulled up in front of my little house.

  It's an older farmhouse that I'd been in love with my entire life. When the couple who lived in it were forced to sell it and move to a retirement home Matt and I jumped at it. It was two stories and painted red with white shutters. Near the back of the property stood a barn that matched the color of the house and stood empty, waiting for a horse or two. We'd planned on buying horses for the kids when we first moved in, but well, life took us in a different direction. As I walked up to my door, I couldn't help but wonder if our plans of the future might still be a possibility.

  “Hey, little man, Mommy needs a shower. Wanna watch cartoons?” He didn't need to answer. He sprinted to the living room and plopped his butt on the couch. My house was modestly decorated with older pieces of furniture that I'd either refurbished or recovered. I loved it. Made the place feel homey. I flicked on the television that was tiny compared to Matt's, but it did the trick. I left Elijah in the care of Handy Manny. I locked all the doors and put Danica in her crib. I'd recently had to drop the mattress almost to the floor when she learned how to climb out.

  “Now you stay here and be a good girl while Mommy showers.” I kissed her head and left her playing with her favorite little doll.

  The hot water felt like heaven against my skin, and I reveled in the peace for as long as I thought the kids could cope without me. I was drying off when I heard a knock at the front door. I quickly threw my robe on and raced to answer it before Elijah did. Didn't matter how many times I told the boy not to answer the door he didn't listen, except this time. I raced to the door and saw him still sitting in front of the television. Hmm, that Handy Manny is a great sitter. I reached for the lock on the door. “Who is it?” I asked as I turned the handle.

  I didn't wait for an answer and was surprised to find Nick standing on my front porch. “Hey, Sunny. You got a minute?” He asked. His shaggy blond hair was matted around his head as though he hadn't combed it in days and his eyes looked permanently blood shot. He looked like shit.

  “Yeah, sure. What's up?” I asked, closing my door behind me. I pulled my robe tighter and walked over to my patio chairs. I sat and offered him a chair, but he didn't take it. He just paced. I knew Nick fairly well. We went to school together and of course dated, but I didn't know him that well and his behavior was making me uncomfortable.

  “Are you okay, Nick?” I asked carefully.

  “Do I fucking look okay, Sunshine?” His tone was laced with anger and took me by surprise.

  “I'm sorry about Shannon. I can't imagine how you're feeling. I'm sure they will find her,” I said and meant it. Losing someone you love is devastating.

  “You're right. You can't imagine how I'm feeling. I don't know what to do with myself. I’m crawling out of my fucking skin right now! Why would someone hurt her? Why Shannon?”

  “I don't know, Nick, but we don't know that she's hurt. Maybe she needed some time away. The police are doing everything to figure this out.” I had given up on sitting and stood beside him. I patted him on the shoulder for comfort but took a step back when he turned to me, his blue eyes frenzied and pained.

  “She was fucking someone else! Did your precious Matt tell you that? That whore was fucking someone else and I'm pretty sure it was him.”

  “I'm sorry, Nick, about everything, but she and Matt are not sleeping together.”

  “Are you fucking stupid, Sunshine? She never stopped lusting over that cocksucker!” He was clearly angry and ready to hurt someone and completely fucking delusio
nal. Matt wasn't sleeping with Shannon. He never had but that wasn't going to make Nick feel better. I needed to calm him down and get him away from my house.

  “Look, you're upset and looking for someone to take it out on. That's fine. I get it. I am truly sorry, Nick. If there's anything I can do….” Before I could finish my sentence or stop him, his mouth crashed into mine, and his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly to him. I pushed against his chest, trying to free myself but he held harder. His mouth finally broke from mine long enough to say, “Come on, Sunny. Let's make them sorry they ever fucked with us.”

  “Nick, let me go. You're hurting me. Please.”

  “Oh no, if Matt gets a taste of my girl I get a taste of his.” Then his mouth found mine again. He was too strong for me to push away. He had my legs in a position where I couldn't reach to kick him in his balls, so I did the next best thing I could think of, I bit his lips, hard. I tasted blood before he realized what I'd done, and he let me go. I stood back, trying to catch my breath. The wild look on his face was terrifying, and I knew I had to figure something out to stop him. To reach him.