Addicted to You

by Porscha Sterling

  “I mean… you don’t have to tell me. It’s your personal business but I—”

  “Nah, it’s cool,” he said, no sign of anger or irritation in his tone. “I mentioned it so I can’t blame you for asking. To answer your question, I messed with the wrong chick and she got me caught up. She was a good girl who wanted a taste of a thug. When shit went south, she told her pops that I drugged and raped her. I didn’t but, when it comes to a man with a background like mine, it doesn’t matter either way. She was pregnant and had to explain to her family why she was about to have a Black baby. She didn’t have money for an abortion and I wouldn’t pay for no shit like that. So she went to her dad with that lie.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  He nodded. “Yeah… but I was young and dumb. While I was in, Tami held me down, even though I never would’ve gotten caught up if I hadn’t cheated. I guess that’s why I don’t do her dirty, though she’s been a headache to deal with most times. She fucked up eventually. After I got out of prison and hit the streets hard, she thought I was cheating again, but I never did no matter what she believed. Getting locked up gave me a reality check about life that I needed.”

  “We’ve all had our young and dumb moments.”

  My mind immediately went to my ex, Grey, and I felt sadness take over me. I was over him, but the time wasted and the hopes and dreams that I had about what was supposed to be our future together still affected me.

  “You sound like you’re speaking from experience. What somebody like you know about being young and dumb?” He laughed a little and I felt nervous energy course through my stomach. “It seems like you’ve always had your shit together.”

  I paused and twisted my lips to the side before speaking. Through my hesitation, I wondered if I should tell him my story and how much of it I should share. I felt pressed to say something since he’d been so open and honest with me.

  “My ex was my first love and he took me through hell,” I suddenly heard myself saying. “So, believe me when I say that I know how it is to be dumb when it comes to love and life.” I stopped speaking but when he didn’t say anything, I felt like I should continue on. Crazy enough, Ink made me feel comfortable enough to speak my truth.

  “He made me fall in love with him and then, after I was too attached, I found out that he had a wife. Not like in the way you say—he had a real wife who he had no intentions of leaving. He said he loved her and would never leave her for me.”

  “Damn, that’s fucked up,” Ink said and blew out a breath. “What crazy ass chick did he think would go for that?”

  I hung my head in shame. “Well, I did.”

  His eyes widened and I continued.

  “I went along with it for some time after because I was in love and I didn’t know how to live without him. But I got tired of being his secret… my feelings were involved. I was stupid— I believed what he said about being a prisoner in his marriage because he was trying to look out for his kids. But then I thought about it one day. There was no way he could love me but put me in that situation. He wanted me but didn’t want to give me the love I deserved. When I told him that I was leaving, he turned into someone else. He said I was ruining him. He even hit me.”

  Tears came to my eyes as I thought back to my ex, Grey. I was thankful that my back was to Ink so that he couldn’t see.

  “That’s one thing I don’t do—put my hands on a woman. Ever. Which is why it’s so fucked up that I got locked up for the shit. Everybody that knows me can tell you that shit ain’t in me but, to them white boys in the courtroom… I guess it didn’t matter.”

  We continued talking as he worked on my back, I didn’t share much because there wasn’t all that much to my life beyond private schools and college life. I’d always lived the model life, never stepped out of line, and always did the things I was expected to do. My only issues came from out of my experiences with love.

  Listening to Ink speak about his past was interesting. His upbringing was so different from mine that it was fascinating. I was born into a world of wealth; never had a day passed by where I knew how it felt to not be catered to or live the privileged life. To hear about how it is for someone living on the other end of the spectrum was like reading a book that I couldn’t put down.

  “You’re finished. For tonight anyway,” he added with a sigh.

  My brows jumped. I hadn’t realized that time had passed by so quickly.

  “I wanna see it!”

  Before he could say anything, I leaped up from the chair with only my arms covering my double D-sized titties. When Ink had started the tattoo, he offered me a blanket to wrap up in after taking my shirt off, but I hadn’t really used it. I was playing with fire, especially after I was the one who placed him into the ‘friend zone,’ but I wanted him to see my body. I thought about the look in his eyes at the club when he was staring at my perky breasts. It was shameful but I would’ve given anything to see that lustful stare again.

  “It’s so pretty,” I said, staring at my fresh new tattoo through a mirror on the wall. It sat high, and I had long ago slipped out of my heels, so I had to get on my tiptoes and toot my booty up on a small shelf in order to be tall enough to see into it.

  Through the reflection, I saw Ink purposely not looking directly at me, respectful of the fact that I was half-clothed. I liked that about him—he was a gentleman now that I’d laid out the rules. But I wanted him to be a little more of the thug that I’d met the other day.

  “Same day and time next week work for you?” I asked him.

  He nodded. “Yeah…”

  He kept his head down and ran one hand over the top of his head. When he shifted his feet, somewhat spreading his legs, I couldn’t help but shift my gaze down.

  “Ahh!”

  As I tried to get off the shelf, it tipped forward and, though I reached out for something to break my fall, there was nothing there and I busted my ass, falling right onto the floor.

  “Oww!” I whined, bringing my hand to my head. I scrunched up my face and started to laugh at myself as Ink ran over to help me up.

  “You good?”

  I laughed through my embarrassment, steadying myself before reaching out to grab his outstretched hand.

  “Yes, thanks.”

  My perky tits bounced when he hoisted me to my feet and, though I was dead wrong, I didn’t move to cover them. Being that the shop was closed for the night, the blinds on the front windows were closed as well, preventing me from giving the entire street a show. The only person able to get a good look at me was Ink.

  “Sage… you gotta put your clothes on, ma.”

  The way he said the word ‘ma’ only made me want him that much more. He placed more distance between us and sat down on a stool a short distance away. His body was doing one thing, his mouth was saying another, but his eyes were still on me.

  “Ink.” I licked my lips. “I—I think I changed my mind.” Walking in closer to him, I positioned my body between his thighs and grabbed his hands in mine. “I know what I said but… I know what I feel, and I want what I want. We’re connected. Can’t you feel it? We are meant for this.”

  With that said, I placed both of his hands on my breasts and groaned when he gave my nipples a squeeze. Pushing both of my large melons together, he positioned my nipples between his thumbs, forcing them together and then leaned over, sucking them both into the warmth of his mouth.

  “Oh god…” I moaned, letting my head fall back.

  His tongue danced around my nipples and my pussy puckered, gushing honey. Ink released my breasts from his grasp and ran a hand to my backside as he sucked hard, nearly swallowing one half of my chest in his mouth. He kneaded my ass through my jeans, and I allowed him to pull me forward, pushing my center right into his. I felt his hardness through his sweats, and I began to wind my hips against it, wanting nothing more than to rub it against my clit before allowing him to force his girth inside.

  “You want that?” he whispered against my nec
k.

  With one hand on my ass and the other under my chin, he jerked my head upwards and then sunk his teeth into my neck. At the same time, he nudged my thighs apart and jerked his manhood forward, rubbing against my center. I sucked in a breath, loving the way he was balancing me in between pleasure and pain.

  “Yes, I want it… so bad.”

  I was in heaven. The man was creating in me a feeling that I’d never felt before. I wanted to say that I was in love, but that couldn’t be love. Or could it? It seemed like it was too soon to tell but it felt so right.

  “Once we go there… you know that means you’re mine, right?” His words made me shutter as he spoke them against my neck. “The way you got me feelin’, I’mma be territorial about this pussy. I don’t share. Won’t nobody be able to even sniff her but me.”

  And with that said, he released my chin and the next thing I felt was him slipping his fingers into the waist of my pants. The material stretched to give him room. He dipped his finger into my center, hard, pressing on my clit with his thumb, working it with expert precision.

  “Fuck…oh god,” I cried out. We were alone so I didn’t even try to stay quiet.

  I leaned into him, feeling my body go limp as he held me in his arms. Whispering in my ear, he said everything that I needed to hear to bring me to a gushing climax. I let go while screaming his name, clutching on to him for dear life.

  “Damn,” he said, suckling my juices from his fingers. “I can’t wait to taste the real thing. But I’ll wait.” He added the last part and I shot my eyes open.

  “Wait? After all of this?” I questioned, pointing eyes to my exposed chest. “After what we just did, you want to wait?”

  He nodded. “There’s no turning back once we cross that line. I know the kinda man I am and I don’t like to share when I feel like something is mine. But I can’t claim somebody who can’t claim me. Once I can find a way to get my issues in order, we can go from there.”

  Longingness settled over me but I tried to ignore it as much as I could in order to collect my things. I’d waited a long time for love and, once again, it was so close but other things were in the way. I wasn’t sure how long it would be until Ink got his situation together but the way he had me feeling, I couldn’t wait much longer. From the look in his eyes as I pulled on my clothes, neither could he.

  11

  Ink

  * * *

  Laughing to myself, I turned onto the ramp for I-285 and began the long ride home. Although it had been almost a half-hour since she’d left, Sage was still on my mind. I guess she’d made sure of that with the ‘oops, my titties are out’ trick.

  The chick was slick as fuck.

  That stunt shouldn’t have worked on someone like me; I was a professional at curving beautiful chicks. But she got me on some sucker shit, and I couldn’t resist touching her again. She was right; something about our interactions felt supernatural, like we were meant to be. It was beyond the sexual, even though my shit was rock hard after being around her for hours. I couldn’t stop staring at the soft skin on her back, the curve of the top of her ass poking out of her low-rise jeans and the pretty, caramel sides of her breasts as I outlined her tattoo.

  When she’d shown her bare chest, I’d bricked up like never before, but I couldn’t let myself slip. I’d dodged a bullet once I got rid of Brisha but I didn’t want to fall back in my old ways. I didn’t have the patience for that shit. I wanted something real. My daughter was getting older and the last thing I wanted was for her to read one day in the blogs about how her daddy was fuckin’ around on her mother because he didn’t love her. Tami and I kept no secrets; she knew we were only playing house, but I didn’t want news of that getting to Tamiyah.

  It was almost five in the morning by the time Tami strolled her drunk ass into the house, talking loudly on the phone with one of her bird-ass friends. I was in her room when she arrived. I wasn’t asleep because I’d been waiting for her to get home. Although there was no love between us, Tami and I had a history that made it so that I would always care about her and would always look out for her no matter what. She did some stupid shit when we were younger—we both did—but though that made it so that I could never look at her the way I once did, I still made sure she was safe. The truth was, if it hadn’t been for her, I wouldn’t be me.

  “Why the fuck are you still up?” she asked as she entered the room, like that was a new routine for me. “And why are you in my room?”

  “I’m always up waiting for whenever you decide to bring yo’ ass home. And lower yo’ voice. Your daughter is sleeping,” I purposely put emphasis on ‘daughter’ which, from the sound of her sucking her teeth, must have pissed her off.

  She rolled her eyes. “Right… she’s sleeping. The same way she would be if I were here. So you can drop the attitude, Ink. You got so much to say but you’re just gettin’ home, too.”

  I watched her from the chair I was sitting in near the closet as she pulled off her stiletto heels, stumbling to keep her balance since she was clearly intoxicated. Once they were off, she stomped by me into the closet, making sure to cut her eyes sharply in my direction as she passed by. I caught a whiff of something and, before I knew it, I’d jumped up from my seat.

  “Yo, what nigga you was all up on to the point that you wearin’ his cologne? I can smell the shit on you so don’t lie.”

  Tami sucked her teeth as she headed into the closet, stripping along the way, not at all bothered about the fact that I was right behind her, damn near standing on the back of her heels.

  “I wasn’t on no nigga and what if I was? You don’t care. Clearly.” She snatched the zipper down on the dress and then began to step out of it. “You know we ain’t like that so why the attitude?”

  She had a point. The same way she didn’t trip about what I did, I never said a word about what she did. My only stipulation was that she told me before she did it. But according to her, she wasn’t interested in anyone else because she wanted things to work out between her and me. No matter how much I told her that I couldn’t see that happening, she refused to move on.

  “Are you done with the twenty-one questions?” she asked, stepping out of her panties. “I had a long night of dancing with my friends and I need to get in the shower.”

  She didn’t wait for me to answer and, instead, stomped by me butt-ass naked to walk to the adjoining bathroom. I wasn’t able to stop myself from turning around to get a glance at her fat ass. Tami had a ghetto booty and she was thick as hell. No matter how determined I was to not want to be with her on a real level, we still messed around every now and then. Her body always caught my attention and she knew it, often using that knowledge to her advantage.

  When I heard the shower start, I left the closet, walking back into the room only to see that Tami had left the bathroom door wide open, giving me a clear view of her in the shower. The glass was slightly fogged, but I could still make out the sight of her rubbing her body down, covering it with soap.

  My dick sprung to life when she caught me looking, wiped away some of the fog, and began to cup her fat pussy in her hands. She lifted her head to look at me before dipping a finger inside, jerking it in and out slowly as I watched.

  Captivated, I stood in silence and enjoyed the show. The whole thing was a set up but, unlike what Sage had pulled earlier, I didn’t have to use restraint. Technically, Tami was still my wife. Meaning, I had a license to fuck with zero consequences.

  I watched her intently as she put on a show, rubbing her breasts, pinching her nipples, and stroking her clit. When she turned around and spread her ass cheeks apart, bending down low so that I could get a clear image of both of her holes, my dick was hard as a baseball bat. Holding the muscle in my hand, I stroked it as I watched Tami continue with her visual seduction, rubbing her hands in her wetness before sucking it off her fingers as she poked each one in her mouth.

  “Want a taste?” she asked, and her words were like a remote that controlled my feet.r />
  With a mission in mind, I strode over to her and opened the door to the shower, stepping right inside after removing my clothes. As soon as I closed the glass door behind me, I twisted her body around and pressed her back down so I could enter her from behind. With her hand on the tile wall, she braced herself as I deep-stroked her from the back, squeezing my eyes as I imagined that I was splitting Sage’s pussy in two instead.

  “Mmm, I love that juicy dick!”

  Tami’s pussy hugged me like it was a custom-fit. No matter how many women I’d been with, I had to admit that her sex was one of the best. She was always soaking wet and when I fucked her, she fucked me back. When giving me head, she could swallow me whole like she was born without a gag reflex. If only I could’ve trusted her, we could’ve been the perfect couple. But I couldn’t and the saying was true: there was no love without trust.

  Finishing fast, I unloaded into her without thinking twice. Tami didn’t want to get pregnant as much as I didn’t want another child from her. She took her birth control religiously. The shower rained down on my body as I breathed heavily, hanging on to the memory of Sage’s body in my mind’s eye. I lifted my hand to my nose and sucked in the sweet remains of her fleeting scent. Though I’d showered as soon as I got home, I avoided removing her natural aroma from my fingertips. I pulled back and leaned against the back of the shower, massaging my manhood in my hands. Thinking about Sage made me rock up again, and the moment Tami saw it, she dropped down to her knees.

  “Nah, you good, T. Listen, I don’t need—”

  Before I could protest further, she opened her mouth and nearly covered my entire twelve-inch dick with her mouth. Hers weren’t the lips that I wanted wrapped around me, but it was too late for me to object.

  Smacking loudly, Tami gobbled me between her jaws like I was a full-course meal. She was relentless when it came to that. All her life, she’d been competitive. She kept her body tight because she wanted to look her best. When it came to men, she wanted to be with the best. And when her bedroom skills came into play, she was like a porn star with it; no lie. That time, however, her masterful skills weren’t having the same effect because the erection she was trying to satisfy was one she hadn’t caused.