Girl Gone Viral

by Alisha Rai

  Jas strode to his grandfather’s bedside. “You better have a damn good reason for—”

  “I was scared you wouldn’t come back!”

  Jas’s mouth gaped open at that admission. “What?”

  His grandfather folded his arms over his chest. He looked decidedly not sick now. “I said, I didn’t know if you’d come back. For the awards ceremony.” His voice dropped. “Or ever.”

  Jas sat down in the chair with a thunk. “So you were going to pretend to be bedridden until the awards ceremony?”

  His grandfather nodded.

  “This is the most outrageous thing you’ve done in a long time. I hope you know that. I am so angry with you.”

  “I told them it was a bad idea,” Gurjit interjected. “So did Bikram.”

  “Damn it, Grandpa. I said I would try. How could you—” He closed his eyes, hearing Katrina’s voice in his head.

  He hadn’t told anyone in his family what was really going on in his head for over a dozen years. He had deliberately avoided spending extended time with them, even when it was a huge occasion, like Bikram’s engagement. How could Jas think one dinner would make his grandpa trust he would actually try to come for this thing that was so important to him?

  He clasped his hands between his knees. “I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you so much over the years—”

  “No.” Andrés cleared his throat and shot a glance at Gurjit, who nodded his encouragement. “I was disappointed you weren’t a carbon copy of me, it’s true.” His smile was the gentlest Jas had ever seen it. “You know, the first generation that comes here, the immigrants, they keep their head down. They do their best to fit in. And then the first generation who are born here, I think we feel like we have so much to prove, we have to make all of our parents’ sacrifices worth it.” He sniffed. “I got so caught up in proving my family’s worth, I lost sight of what we want for the ones who come after us. The American Dream, eh? Pursuing whatever they want. Even if that means it’s not what I want.”

  Jas cleared his throat. Now he was the one who sounded hoarse. “You didn’t let me finish. I know I’ve disappointed you by not communicating with you as well as I could have. I’m going to be better, more honest. I want to be in your lives more.”

  Gurjit coughed. His eyes were suspiciously misty. He squeezed Jas’s shoulder.

  “If you do come to the parade, I got you some really good noise-canceling headphones,” Andrés said gruffly. “So it won’t be too loud. And I already cleared it with the committee to keep the backstage area clear so you can watch from the wings. You won’t have to be in the crowd. We’ll have a car waiting by the back door so you can leave if you need to. Any other accommodations you want, I’ll do. If I can’t do them, I’ll find someone who will.”

  If his grandfather could get multiple people to help him pull off a ruse like this, Jas didn’t doubt he’d move heaven and earth in this community to get Jas every accommodation possible. “That sounds great,” he managed.

  “If that’s still not enough for you, I would love it if you would come home anyway then. We can have a small party after. Family only.”

  The pressure lifted off his shoulders with those words was immense. “In that case, I’ll come. I promise.”

  “I love you, you know. I don’t say it enough, because I assumed you knew I love you. But that’s the problem. Sometimes we think a person doesn’t need to hear something because it’s obvious, because they know what’s in our hearts. But that’s not how the world works. We have to say the things.” He cleared his throat. “So, I love you. I want you to be happy.”

  Jas swallowed the lump in his throat. “I love you, too. I am still extremely mad at you about this ruse.”

  “Fair.”

  “I don’t quite understand how you pulled this off. Is this legal?”

  “Pshaw.” His grandfather puffed out his chest. “I am the Peach Prince. Favors have been called in for this.”

  Jas glanced around. “Do we need to leave?”

  His grandfather grinned. “It was lots of favors. We can stay here for a minute. Open that drawer, son.”

  Jas opened the nightstand drawer and couldn’t help but chuckle at the bottle of scotch inside. “Grandpa, honestly.” He glanced up when there was no response, to find Gurjit and Andrés exchanging a look.

  “Haven’t heard you laugh in a while,” his dad explained.

  Aw, jeez. Jas had something in his eye. “You’ll hear it more, I think.” He pulled out the bottle. “Who wants a drink?”

  Chapter Thirty

  “I LOVE YOU.”

  “No, I love you.”

  “I love you more.”

  “Ugh.” Jia dropped her phone on her stomach and glared at Katrina and Rhiannon. “Being sober around drunk people is so annoying. Is this how Lakshmi feels when she’s around me?”

  Katrina laughed and rested her head on Rhiannon’s shoulder. They sat on their patio, enjoying the cool evening air and relaxing after dinner. Katrina had grilled burgers for them. Then they’d opened the wine. Then they’d drunk the wine.

  And now she and Rhiannon were ensconced side by side in a chaise lounge, the chair too small to really hold both of them, but that was okay. Katrina did love cuddling.

  “How is the internet doing, Jia?” Rhiannon’s words weren’t slurred yet, so Katrina figured they hadn’t drunk enough wine.

  “Pretty good, actually. The internet is amazing.” Jia twirled a thread on the hem of her dress between her fingers. She wore a flowy embroidered caftan this evening. She looked like a garden princess.

  “Amazing,” Katrina echoed sardonically, but she was amazed at how quickly her statement had been embraced. Think pieces upon think pieces had been furiously written all day.

  She was sure there was an ugly section of the internet that had sneered at her earnest plea for privacy, but she wasn’t living for them. She had a web of people who had protected her, even if some people hadn’t. Her family. People who, even if she was exposed, would shelter her.

  “It helps that those Japanese zoo escape drills went viral.” Rhiannon tucked Zeus under her chin and scratched the kitten. Doodle was happily snoozing in the garden. “You couldn’t hold anyone’s interest, really, when up against a man in a panda suit running away from tranq guns.”

  “So glad I’m less attractive than a six-foot-tall man-panda.” Katrina stretched her legs out. “I hope the couple and Ross don’t get too much hate, though.”

  “Ugh, Lakshmi’s right, you’re so nice,” Rhiannon said.

  “I’m not nice. There’s nothing wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they’ll learn from this and grow.”

  “Too. Nice.”

  “For what it’s worth, I’m on Rhiannon’s side. You are too nice.” Jia came to her feet. “I’ll get you guys some water.”

  Rhiannon set the cat on the ground. “I don’t mean anything bad when I say you’re nice, by the way. I think it takes a certain kind of strength, when the world is hateful or mean, to come out on the other side with your heart and your kindness and your humanity intact. I honestly don’t know how you can be so optimistic after everything you’ve been through.”

  Katrina gazed at the sprawling city in front of them, the sun setting over the ocean in the distance. She’d bought this house partially for the privacy, but mostly for the view. “I think I have to be hopeful because of everything I’ve been through. That doesn’t mean I’m not angry. But if I didn’t have hope or believe in others, what’s the point?” She shook her head. “Humans aren’t meant to be indefinitely bent into pretzels. We bend until we snap, and then we put ourselves back together and hold steady until someone or something bends us again. Every part of that process requires strength, and hope, I think.” Even the breaking. Even if you need help putting yourself back together.

  Rhiannon nodded. “I get it. Everything may not be perfect all the time, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hope for more.”

 
“Happiness is a radical act.”

  “What?”

  Katrina’s smile was self-conscious. “I saw it on this sign in French Coast and it kinda spoke to me. I was raised to make sure everyone else was happy. So now, when I’m truly happy, it feels . . . radical. To be happy, or even to have the possibility of happiness, when the world tells you you shouldn’t, it’s downright subversive.”

  Rhi’s eyes shone. “Like you’re showing everyone who made you unhappy.”

  Katrina nodded.

  “I used to tell myself success was the best revenge. But I like your saying better.”

  “Whatever works.”

  Rhiannon took her wineglass, set it on the table, and then hugged Katrina tight. “Cinnamon roll. Too good, too pure for this world,” she whispered against Katrina’s hair. “I’ll protect you with my life.”

  Katrina laughed. “Hopefully it’ll never come to that.”

  Jia came back out to the patio and handed them each a water bottle. “Drink this, or you’ll be miserable tomorrow. Now, who did we drunk-text while I was gone?”

  “No one. Samson had to go to bed early.” Rhiannon gave Katrina a questioning look.

  She rolled her eyes. “Jas is with his sick grandpa, guys!”

  “Have you heard from him at all?” Rhiannon asked.

  “He texted me when he got to Yuba City.”

  Jia wrinkled her nose. “That’s it?”

  “Yes.” Katrina took a sip of her water. “What more do you want?”

  “I dunno, your smooching this morning looked way more fiery than hey plane landed texts.”

  “Like I said, his grandfather’s sick.”

  “He’s not dead, right?”

  “Jia,” Rhiannon snapped.

  “Sorry, sorry. What I mean is, you could still text him a supportive emoji. A kissy face or a hug.”

  Rhiannon stuck her tongue in her cheek. “Or the eggplant.”

  “I’m definitely not doing that last one.”

  “What’s up with you guys? You haven’t figured stuff out yet?” Rhiannon asked.

  “No.” Katrina made a frustrated noise. “He doesn’t say anything. That’s the problem. I know him and love him, but I can’t read his mind.”

  Rhiannon’s lips pursed in a soundless whistle. “Play back what you just said.”

  Katrina pressed her fingers to her temple. She’d said what she said, and she meant it. “I know. I do love him. I think I have for a long time.”

  “Omg. You should ask him how he feels,” Jia whispered, clutching her hands to her chest.

  Rhiannon shook her head. “No, she shouldn’t have to badger him about how he feels. He should be able to talk about his feelings.”

  “Even if he does, I’m worried he won’t be telling me the truth. What if he says he loves me because it’s what I want to hear?” She shook her head. “You guys, he is so damn devoted. It all feels so one-sided, like he’s seeing to my every need, and I can’t do the same for him.”

  There was silence for a minute. Rhiannon put her water bottle down. “So let me get this straight: you, a heterosexual woman, in our current modern dating hellscape, are complaining that the man you are seeing is . . . too selfless.”

  “I love you very much, Katrina,” Jia remarked. “But please don’t be offended if I kind of hate you right now.”

  “Samson is almost a saint, but I’m with you, Jia.” Rhiannon made a disgusted noise.

  Katrina choked out a laugh. “Okay, well. It sounds silly when you say it like that.”

  “Boy, does it.” Rhiannon squinted at her. “Look, I’m still not entirely sure that Samson’s as good as he seems. Like, I’m finally pretty sure he’s not being nice to me so he can kill me, but who can tell? That’s the whole leap-of-faith you kept pushing me to take.”

  Katrina’s smile was faint. “I have new respect for the leap I was telling you to make.”

  “You have no idea how terrifying it is.” Rhiannon paused. “Isn’t it entirely possible that Jas is so devoted to you because he loves you too?”

  She made a face. “I don’t know.”

  Rhiannon gestured between them. “I mean, we love you, and we are very cool people. He would be in excellent company.”

  “Ha. Right.”

  The chair they sat on rocked a little as Jia perched on the arm. Her slender hand came to rest on Katrina’s shoulder. “How long has Jas been with you?”

  “Years.” It was hard to remember a time when Jas hadn’t been with her. Or rather, she didn’t want to remember the time before Jas was with her.

  “You’ve cooked him breakfast every morning for every one of those years, right?” Jia asked.

  “Yeah, that’s not—”

  “What I’m saying is, yes, he should tell you more about his needs, especially if you feel like things are getting one-sided, but pretty sure if he does, you’ll trip over yourself to make it equal, and then he’ll trip over himself to do the same.” Jia’s smile was fond. “I’ve never seen two people more suited to each other, to be honest. You’re equally considerate and kind. In fact, you might have a spiral death match to out-kind each other. I only have one reservation.”

  “What’s that?”

  “If you get married, you cannot hyphenate your last name.” Jia wrinkled her nose. “God, Katrina King-Singh? You’ll sound like a Dr. Seuss character.”

  Katrina and Rhiannon both chuckled.

  “It’s not funny, names are so important.” Jia pursed her lips. “Anyway, send a text, open the door. See if he’ll walk through it and be emotionally vulnerable.”

  Rhiannon toasted the younger woman. “Good advice, Jia.”

  Katrina gave a decisive nod, and pulled out her phone. “What if I say How’s the, and . . .” She squinted at the tiny emoji keyboard. Phew, she must have drunk more than she’d thought. “Peach. For peach farm! His grandpa.”

  “Wait, no!” Jia grasped her arm. “Think what a peach means, Katrina.”

  She gasped. What had she been thinking? “I sent it.”

  JAS’S PHONE DINGED. He picked it up from where he’d dropped it on the hospital bed and peered at the display. He was on his third scotch, and he felt great.

  He read Katrina’s text once, then again, trying to puzzle it out.

  His grandfather broke off from telling a story to a laughing Gurjit. “Ooooh. Is that Katrina?”

  The alcohol had lowered Jas’s inhibitions. “It is, but I don’t understand this text.”

  “What does it say?”

  “It says, How’s your peach?” He glanced up.

  “Oh, son,” his grandfather said with pity. “Even I know what the peach emoji stands for.”

  Jas’s eyes widened as realization dawned. “Oh, uh.” His phone dinged again and he snorted. “Okay, this makes more sense. I meant, how’s your grandpa?”

  “She’s asking about my peach?”

  “Ew.” Jas made a face. “No.”

  Andrés sniffed. “You don’t have to say no like that.”

  He kept reading. “Sorry, peach for peach farm. There, that’s cleared up.”

  He typed out his reply. My grandpa faked the whole thing to get me to come home because he was scared I wouldn’t come to his ceremony. I’ll be back tomorrow.

  RHIANNON READ JAS’S reply out loud. “Well, his grandfather sounds like he’s a few peaches short of a—”

  “He’s very sweet,” Katrina said repressively.

  “Okay, so respond.” Jia nudged her.

  “What should I say back?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  Katrina thought about it for a minute. “I miss you.”

  “Wait, that’s way too vulnerable,” Rhiannon yelped.

  Katrina cringed. “I hit send again.”

  “Katrina!” Rhiannon swiped the phone out of her hand. “We gotta work on this. You have a real problem with premature transmissions.”

  I miss you.

  Jas sucked in a deep breath.

&nb
sp; “What did she send now? More butts?” his grandfather demanded.

  Gurjit leaned over and looked at his phone before Jas could hide it. “Aw. She says she misses him.” His mustache jumped in delight. “Jas! This is so sweet. When do I get to meet her?”

  “She is very sweet. Think carefully about what to say in reply, son. You have to woo her,” his grandpa warned.

  Gurjit scoffed at Andrés. “Let the boy write whatever’s in his heart.”

  Jas tapped the phone against his leg. “I can’t tell her what’s in my heart.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because . . . we kissed for the first time like a minute ago. It’s too soon.”

  “So you have strong feelings for her! Listen, when you know, you know,” Gurjit said dreamily.

  “I changed my mind,” Andrés counseled. “Tell her how you feel. If you don’t you’ll regret it. There’s lots of things I regret not saying to your grandma.”

  “Are there things you regret saying?”

  “Yes. But less of those.”

  Jas looked down at his phone and typed all the words in his soul. I love you.

  Delete.

  He hesitated, then typed again. I love you.

  Delete. No. That was something to be said in person, not over text.

  He typed, a third time.

  He only started panicking after he hit send.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “WHAT DOES IT say?” Rhiannon shoved Jia aside, but Katrina held the phone against her chest protectively.

  “It’s private.”

  “You don’t want help answering?” Jia bounced. “This is so exciting.”

  “What did it say?” Rhiannon repeated, this time asking Jia.

  “I don’t know, she was too fast.”

  “Katrina, we are invested.”

  Katrina came to her feet and walked away from her friends, and then reread the message.

  I love you. I always have.

  Holy motherfucking shit balls.

  She couldn’t stop the leap in her chest, every romantic part of her bursting into action. She placed the cursor in the reply box, then paused. She did need help. “He told me he loves me.”