Their Downfall

by Skylar Heart

  He’s easy on the eyes... Very easy on the eyes. Which makes me want to do things to him that I shouldn’t be thinking of, especially not after I confessed to Mia last night... Or because it would make things a lot more awkward with Dylan, and I don’t want to complicate what he and I have any more than it already is. But at the same time, I have no idea what’s going on with that anymore, and Jake... He seems... He doesn’t seem uninterested in me. Which makes all of this even more complicated in my head.

  “I grabbed us some pizzas for in the freezer. That way you don’t have to keep coming up with dinner every evening. Or lunch. Or breakfast.” He flashes Mia one of his dazzling smiles and she nods, smiling back, a soft smile, a smile as if this isn’t the first time he’s done this for her. Reminding me how out of my depth I am with these two, I won’t stand a chance, ever, not with either of them.

  “I’m not at uni anymore, you know?” Mia steps to the other side of the cart, looking through it as she puts her own items in it. “And you picked up way more than just pizzas and the meat I asked you for.”

  Jake shrugs, looking pleased with himself. “You don’t have much at the house, you needed a couple more things to stock up on.”

  She narrows her eyes at him and it makes me smile, their bantering so easygoing. “I don’t think I need three cans of hot dogs for the next week. Or two jars of mayonnaise or mustard. This looks like you’re stocking your pantry, not mine.”

  He pulls up one shoulder, not looking sorry in the least, almost looking smug. “You didn’t give me a list for your pantry, so I had to use my own staples.” Then his eyes fall on me, making my stomach do a little flip at the look in them. “Not my fault, right?”

  I quickly look away before the blush I can feel coming up shows on my face. “Can’t argue with hot dogs. And, in that case... I’ll grab some more pantry staples.” And I almost flee. Feeling a little too flushed to stay around them right now.

  Fucking hell. How did I get into this situation? How do I now react to Jake like this? Like our situations aren’t complicated enough.

  Jake was right to pick up the pizzas, because as soon as we got back to the house, we couldn’t actually be bothered to cook, so we made pizzas instead.

  It made Elly really excited, since she’d had pizza last weekend and apparently they don’t eat pizza that much at Tom’s. Which made me laugh, as I know that Poppy loved pizza, if she could, she’d eat it every day, all day. Which is probably why Tom has a ‘pizza once per month’ rule at their place.

  The pizzas disappear quickly, leaving us without any leftovers for breakfast tomorrow. Though, as Jake pointed out when I grumbled about it, we can pick up more pizza tomorrow, if we want to.

  Which made me doubt that he’s really planning on leaving tomorrow. Every time it comes up, Mia’s eyes darken, giving her that ‘don’t you dare’ look about her. I don’t think Jake wants to leave, but Mia wants him to, because she’s way too worried about his work, about him missing out on anything at the lab. But Jake doesn’t seem that worried about it himself.

  While I’m cleaning up some plates and cups from dinner, the others having gone to the living room, I suddenly feel like I’m not alone in the kitchen anymore. And as I look around, Dylan is standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his eyes on me serious, his body tense for some reason.

  “Are you sure you’re staying here tonight? Are you sure it’s a good idea?” His voice is low, doing funny things to my body, but I nod.

  “Yeah. Don’t want to leave her alone, and it doesn’t really matter if I’m staying here or at your place, it’s not going to make a difference for when I leave to go to band practice.” I put another plate in the dishwasher.

  “You know she’s not really alone here, right? Not with Jake around. She wouldn’t be alone. She’d be safe.” He comes closer, and then his hand is on my back, his strong and steady hand.

  “I know.” My voice has gone hoarse, my body responding to him.

  “If you stay over at mine, we could have some fun.” He steps even closer, his body pushed against mine, trapping me between the counter and his hard body, his warm breath on my neck.

  I swallow hard, my whole body tight with excitement. Fucking hell. I want him, so badly. And letting him fuck me silly, just to forget everything, it would be so easy. But I have no idea what he heard last night, when he found me in the shower with Mia, and the way I’ve been reacting to Jake... It’s not a good idea. Hell.

  I’ve been scared to lose Dylan all week, that Mia would prefer him over me, that I’d lose everyone in one go, that I’d be all alone. I’ve been craving having some alone time with him and now I’m the one who has to turn him down... I have no idea how to.

  His fingers slide up my sides, teasing me, sending electricity through my body and making me even harder than before. “Nobody will be able to hear us when we’re at mine. I can make you feel so good. Make us both feel so good.” I hear the need in his voice, feel it in the tension in his body, but no matter how much I wish I could do this, I can’t. Not tonight. Not right now, when everything is a mess.

  I take his hands, holding them tightly, my heart heavy. “Sorry. Can’t.” My heart beats fast, like it’s trying to break from my chest, fear. Fear that he’ll get angry, that he won’t understand. That he’ll do something bad. I don’t have too many good experiences with turning people down, even though it’s never been a problem with Dylan before, it feels different now and that makes it scary.

  But he simply kisses my neck before letting out a slow breath. “I guess I should have expected that. With Mia here... I should have expected it. It’s okay, I understand.” Then he steps back and I want to turn around, tell him that I was kidding, that I didn’t mean it, his voice sounds so... broken. But I can’t, because I can’t do that to him.

  I can’t call him back when I can’t really explain why I had to turn him down, when I can’t really explain it to myself, when everything is so messed up.

  3

  Dylan

  It feels strange, an uncomfortable pressure in my chest, when Mal turns down an offer for a good time together. He’s always up for some playing around together, he always has been. But, of course, having Mia here changes everything, and now I’m not so sure I can count on anything anymore.

  I should have expected this, I shouldn’t feel so disappointed just because he wants Mia now. Now she’s here, I’m no longer needed. We both knew that what we had wouldn’t last, this thing we have, but I didn’t expect to feel this sad when the time came to let him go.

  “Let me know if you need me to bring anything over, or if you need a drive into town.” I turn to the kitchen door, about to walk off when Mal speaks.

  “It’s not a ‘no’ forever, just not tonight.” His voice is rough, almost sad, and I turn to him, but he’s back to putting plates in the dishwasher, his back to me, and he doesn’t say anything else.

  “Okay.” I walk out of the kitchen, surprised by how much him turning me down affects me and how much I just want to make him tell me what’s going on in his head. But after finding him with Mia last night, I know that I’m no longer the most important person in his life. When Mia is here, he’s hers, not mine. And I’ve always known that. I’ve known that from the start, so why does it hurt?

  The door to the living room opens, and Tom steps out, his eyebrows going up when he sees me. “We’re going home soon. Do you want to walk back together?”

  “Yeah. Sure. Lemme grab some things.” I go up the stairs, into the bedroom, and I pack the clothes I’d taken here with me.

  This feels weird, packing my stuff up when Mal and Jake’s stuff is still here. Like I’m leaving, not just for the night, but like I’m giving up or something. Like I’m stepping away.

  Even when I know that I’m just going home because I need to get to work on time tomorrow and I can’t do that from here, way too many temptations to stay at home just a little longer. It’s the sensible choice, even when it’s not one I like.


  As I come back down the stairs, everyone is in the hallway. Elly is already wearing her jacket and Tom is just putting his on. I grab my jacket and put it on too, trying to stay busy while avoiding a conversation I don’t really want to have with Mia or Mal.

  I turn around and Mia is smiling at me, her smile growing as she looks at my jacket and I can’t help my own smile at her, she looks so good. “I’ll be back for dinner tomorrow. Don’t you worry, you won’t have to be without me for long.” I wink and she lets out a happy laugh.

  “I’m not worried, really.” Then she comes closer and gives me a hug, her arms around me feeling so good. “I’ll have my hands full with these two anyway. I’ll probably appreciate the quiet when everyone has left the house for a couple of hours tomorrow.”

  I laugh too. “I can imagine. Well, have a good night, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” I give her a quick kiss on her cheek, my heart a little lighter at her relaxed smile. “Don’t let those guys keep you up with their stories all night.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” She steps back, smiling.

  I quickly give Mal a hug. “Be good to her. And behave.” I try to let it sound at least a little serious, but Mal bursts out laughing.

  “Behave like you, or like me?” He winks, but I feel how he quickly sneaks his cold fingers under my jacket, teasing me for a moment, before he steps back. I guess not all is lost, yet.

  “Don’t know. The one that means that you won’t get kicked out of this place too, and they won’t get tired of your antics before the sun comes up, that one. The ‘good’ good behaviour.” I smile, then give Jake a quick nod. “Seems I’ll have to put all my trust in you, that someone can keep this place running until the morning. I have a feeling that these two can’t be trusted not to set it aflame or something.”

  “I’ll make sure.” He tries to keep his face serious, but still breaks out laughing, while both Mal and Mia give me an annoyed “Hey!” at my words.

  Then, Elly’s voice comes floating in from outside. “Dylan! Hurry up!”

  “Coming!” I grab my bag and dart out the door, closing it behind me. Then I catch up with Tom and Elly, who are already halfway down the path.

  We’re quiet, until we’re at the bottom of the garden, at the gate, and Tom stops me for a moment, his eyes serious. “Did something happen between Mal and you?”

  I let out a slow breath as I shake my head. “I don’t think so. He’s just... I don’t know.” I step through the gate and start walking down the path.

  “What happened?” Tom’s voice stops me.

  “He doesn’t usually turn me down. I guess I’m not used to it.” I don’t really want to talk about what happened. I feel bad enough for reacting like I did already, this upset feeling inside.

  “Do you think it has something to do with Jake?”

  “Jake?” I twist around, staring at Tom. “What do you mean?”

  I can’t really see the look in his eyes, but it doesn’t give me a good feeling. “You didn’t see it? The way Jake and Mal have been acting around each other since last night?”

  “What?” I try to remember if I’ve seen anything different about them, but all I can think of is Mia. I never even thought that Jake would be any influence on Mal. He didn’t even really register for me, apart from Mia probably being better off with him than with any of us. But why would Mal act differently around Jake?

  Tom shrugs. “Maybe it’s just me. It seemed they were different around each other last night, and when they came back from shopping with Mia today. But maybe I’m just seeing things.”

  “Maybe?” Now I’m really confused. Is Jake why Mal turned me down? Is he going to get his fun elsewhere? Did I wait too long to say something to him? Did I lose Mal to Jake?

  Losing Mal to Mia is one thing, but to Jake? A guy we barely know? I don’t like that idea. At all.

  “Dylan?” Tom’s voice is low, a warning in it, and he steps closer. “Don’t go there. That’s not what I meant. F--” He stops his curse as Elly is still closeby. “I meant that they’re up to something, something to do with Mia. Like they’ve got a plan of how to take care of her or something, like they’ve taken it on the both of them to take care of her. Mal was acting more like an adult than I’ve seen him in a long time, and it seems that Jake is the one getting that out of him. I didn’t mean anything else by it.”

  “Right.” I nod. “I guess I’m just misinterpreting things. Sorry. I’m just tired.” Really tired.

  “Don’t let your brain run wild. Mia was right. Mal loves you. And no matter how bad you two are at telling each other those things. He knows it. He wouldn’t leave you. Ever.” His voice goes a little rough at the end, but before I can even figure out what he means, he takes Elly’s hand. “If you wanna chat more. You can have a drink at my place, but it’s getting too cold to stand out here.”

  “Nah. I’m good. Thanks.” I pull my bag higher up my shoulder. “See you tomorrow.”

  “See you tomorrow. And stop worrying. Really.” He picks Elly up and starts walking to his place.

  I stare after them for a moment. Tom, with his house, his place in the company he works for. He’s the most independent of us all, he’s got everything set up right for himself. And here he is, worrying about me, the fuckup.

  He’s right. There is no reason to worry about Mal, or Mal and Mia and Jake. It’s not like it’ll be any of my business if something changes. Whatever happens between them is between them. I may just have lost my moment with Mal, or Mia, and that’s on me, not on them. That’s because I’m too chicken to do anything anymore these days. I’m too scared to take any more chances, so I can’t blame anyone but myself when people move on. It’s my own fault.

  I walk to the town, to the place I call ‘home’, my parents’ garage, and I wish I could turn around. Go back to the house with Mia and the guys. This place doesn’t feel like ‘home’ anymore, not since I’ve spent all week with Mia, not since I’ve felt so welcome and loved all week, surrounded by people I love, who love me. And now I’m back on my own, alone.

  On my own, during the worst week of the year. I may not have had a close relationship with Poppy, I wasn’t her twin, or her husband, but we’d always been friends. She was smart and a joker, and she always made everyone feel welcome. I helped her out a lot with her maths and chemistry back in the day, we spent a lot of time together that last year of her secondary school, before her exams. But I never had any interest in her as a love interest or to have sex with her, that was never on my mind. But then, did I consider those things when I was with Mal?

  I stop as I’m about to slide my key into the lock, freezing where I’m standing, realisation setting in. Yes.

  Yes.

  I always considered those things with Mal, but our friendship stopped me. I didn’t want to lose him, because he’s not one for relationships, so I never wanted to push what we had by confessing to him. I put those thoughts out of mind, because confessing to him would mean losing him as a friend forever.

  For Mal, there was only ever Mia and his music, nothing else. And now he’s got Mia back, what place do I have in his life?

  Can I even compete with that, with her? Especially if I want her too?

  I’ve always wanted Mia, from the moment I was old enough to realise what these feelings I had for her were. She’s always been the one I wanted.

  I groan, opening the door to the garage and dump my bag by the door. I’m fucked. So fucked.

  I don’t just want Mia. I don’t just want Mal. I want both of them, and I don’t want to lose our friendship.

  This is messed up. I’m very much fucked, because this doesn’t sound like something that will happen. Ever...

  The only way this can end is that everything breaks down and I’ll be on my own, all alone, and I don’t want that either. What the hell can I do now?

  4

  Mia

  The house is so much quieter without Dylan, Tom and Elly here. It’s strange how different it feels when
you go from six people to just three. It didn’t feel busy, but it’s so much calmer now.

  I turn to the final two guys in the hallway, two very sexy guys, who are both looking at me with soft smiles and it’s tempting to grab them and drag them up the stairs because they look very sexy together. But that’s not really going to get me anywhere, I’m pretty sure neither Mal or Jake is into those things, at least, not that I know of...

  ‘Those things’ being sharing a partner during sex. Sure, Mal and Jake are both pansexual, like me, so it wouldn’t be a problem with partner choice, but I have no idea if they’d actually be into doing things with other people around. We... We never talked about those things.

  And now my mind is going places that it shouldn’t be going, I guess I’ve got a lot of pent-up sexual energy right now, after a weekend surrounded by sexy guys, and having had some of their kisses... And it’s not like I didn’t want to do things with them, it just didn’t happen.

  “Who wants something to drink?” Jake is the first one to move, turning to the kitchen. “I’m thinking some tea... Something warm would be nice right now. Cold nights and everything.”

  “Sounds good.” I nod. “Thanks.” Then I walk to the living room and Mal follows me. When I sit on the couch, he slides close to me, putting his head on my shoulder and I laugh as I pull the blanket over the both of us. “What’s with you?” I put my head against his for a moment.

  “Nothing much.” His voice is soft and he puts one arm around me, before snuggling even closer. “Just enjoying this.”

  Finally being alone together, after being in a place where everyone can overhear us for days, it makes me feel like I should say something. “About last night...” I’ve been thinking about his confession and how I turned him down way too much today.

  He slowly shakes his head. “That was last night. I’m okay. Really.”