Fathom

by Ashley L. Knight

  When I told Jacob about my past mistakes and fears, he told me the only real mistake is the one from which you haven’t learned anything. What I’d been, including all the mistakes I’d made didn’t matter – what did matter was who I was right now. That made a lot of sense. I suppose it did because I had been dwelling on the past so much and now I could let it go and start fresh. I guess I just needed someone to let me know it was okay to do that.

  The days passed quickly, especially during those rare ones when both Jacob and Aletheia taught. They said it was important to try and help me gain as many powers as possible before having to take on Limus. I agreed; being prepared was far better than facing your opponent empty handed. The more I learned, the more I grew in strength.

  Despite her rocky start with him, Mom grew to really like Jacob and it wasn’t long before she told me she’d been too hasty in her decision about him. I understood she was just being protective. Something was definitely going on with Mom though and I hoped she wasn’t getting sick. She was worried about me, Naira, Thayde, Tammer, and Ezen. It was taking its toll on her, but I hoped that it would all go away when the guys returned and everything got back to being somewhat normal.

  Despite the peace I was now feeling, my worries about Thayde did not go away. I knew very soon he was going to be in a lot of trouble and only I could help him. Though I dreaded that day, I also wanted it to be over. I wanted Thayde back more than anything - back and safe with me. Then maybe the dreams would stop and maybe I could fix him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Leap

  Dear Diary,

  We’ve been in Idaho for just over a month. Already two new people have joined our circle. Lars Fawning is ambitious, ready to follow orders and already in love with Aletheia. I caught them in a lustful embrace one morning. They seemed embarrassed, but I think it’s great they’ve corded. It might take some of that sorrow away from Aletheia. Lars sometimes rubs me the wrong way and I think it’s because of his inability to hold back his thoughts. Ever heard of the saying ‘think before you speak’? Lars hasn’t.

  Jacob Mac is a good friend. He’s a human, which made Mom go through the roof, but she’s grown to like him and has accepted him into our group. He is an honest, kind and caring man. We got along right from the start. I like him; he calms me. I feel different around him. Sometimes, I wonder if he’s so holy that it just rubs off on me. He’s a peaceful person and I understand why Lars thinks he’s wonderful.

  Lars’ best friend, Raif, returned to Portland, Oregon, just after Lars and Jacob joined us. He called Lars to make sure things were okay. When I asked him if he had told Raif about me, he shook his head.

  Thayde. I miss you, so very much. Where are you? Mom hasn’t heard anything else from Tammer and she’s about ready to have a mental collapse from worry. Aletheia said she wanted to work on extended mind reading. I think we’re supposed to work on that tomorrow.

  Are you all right? I’ve heard you calling me. I know you need me. Why don’t you contact me again? Use the phone! I know you’re in pain. I feel it every day. This waiting is killing me.

  I had fallen asleep hours ago. The entire time, I saw nothing but blackness and it was starting to irritate me. This past year, I’d learned to love the solitude, but now, not knowing anything was getting to be a real pain. I could feel myself shifting and turning in bed as my restless body fought to either dream or wake up. Is it right to sleep this way? I don’t think it should be allowed.

  Then, in the distance, a faint light began to grow. I moved toward it, hoping this would be the start of a good dream. The closer I got to the light, the larger it grew until I stepped into my dream. I recognized the beach instantly; it was the beach where Thayde would die. Hastily scanning both directions, I found myself alone. I wasn’t sure what to do. In the past, the dream had always started with me instantly coming across Thayde dead in the waves, but this time, he was nowhere to be seen.

  I settled into the warm sand and pulled my knees to my chin. What now? Not a darn thing happened. After a while, I began to relax. Maybe this was one of those rare nice dreams, where I could just sit and watch the waves roll in, listen to the surf and try not to get pooped on by a passing seagull. I stretched my legs in front of me and leaned back on my arms. This was certainly better than dreaming nothing.

  A dark, thin shape formed in the water. Squinting against the glaring sun, I held my hand up. The waves continued to push the form to shore. When I stood, I could see it was a person. There were no boats on the horizon and I wondered where they had come from.

  Eventually, he reached the surf’s edge and collapsed. I ran toward him at a full sprint, hoping I’d be able to help in any way. My heart stopped when I realized it was a merman. The dark blue tail was too familiar and I instantly recognized the tribal tattoo on his left arm. It was Thayde.

  Rolling him onto his back, I hardly recognized him. He was emaciated and his skin was grey like the sky on a cold, rainy day. Feeling for his pulse, I placed my fingers against his throat and felt sick when there wasn’t one. I began CPR right away.

  After several minutes, he began to cough and threw up sea water. His eyes opened briefly, then shut in pain as he grabbed at his chest and screamed in agony.

  “Oh God!” I panicked. “Baby, what do I do?”

  “Take it out,” he cried, curling against the pain.

  “I don’t know how!” I couldn’t see him. The tears were blinding my vision and I hastily wiped my hands across my eyes. Still, there was nothing.

  “Morgan, help me,” he pleaded, breathless.

  “Thayde!” I was wiping my eyes, trying to see through the tears. When I opened them again, the light was retreating from me.

  “No!” I screamed, running toward it, but the faster I ran, the faster it disappeared, taking Thayde along with it. The moment the light disappeared, I was alone in the dark. A nasty laugh echoed, growing louder and louder.

  I awoke a shaking mess. Mom sat on the edge of my bed, shaking my shoulder.

  I leapt out of bed. “It’s Thayde, he’s in trouble! I have to go now!”

  “Honey, we don’t even know where they are!” Mom objected, swiveling around on the bed to face me.

  “I don’t care.” I pulled on a bikini. “Tammer’s not with him. I don’t know where he is, but I’m going to find him.”

  “You can’t!” Mom stood in an attempt to show authority. “You haven’t completed your training!”

  I finished snapping on the bikini top and faced her.

  “He’s dying, Mom,” I said matter-of-factly. “I can’t let that happen.”

  She said nothing.

  “What would you do?” I asked and she threw her hands up in defeat.

  “Probably what you are doing.”

  I grabbed a shirt and pulled it on. “I’ll try to connect with him and leap to him.”

  “The farthest you’ve leapt is a few yards! How do you expect to leap half a world?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I didn’t know. It seemed impossible, but the one thing I’d learned lately was that nothing was impossible. I kissed her on the cheek and flew from the room, skipping down the stairs two at a time. Mom hurried after me and stopped where I stood at the edge of the water.

  “Good luck, Morgandy,” she whispered. “Be safe.”

  “I will.” I turned from her, closing my eyes.

  Focus. Focus on peace and calm. Focus on love and Thayde. Focus. Lord, help me find him.

  My breathing slowed and I felt light as a feather. The ends of my fingers seemed nonexistent. The golden orb I conjured began to swirl around me as its power amplified, the intense heat making my skin prickle. I forced the power through just as I had in the lake.

  I could see the beach. I didn’t know where it was, but I would recognize it anywhere. Once the vision appeared before me, my body filled with electricity. Seconds later, a tremendous force slammed into me, throwing me forward as if I’d been hit by a car. When I opened m
y eyes, I found myself on the beach, its warm sand filtering between my toes.

  It was just the same as always - the white beach, green palm trees and the turquoise ocean. The sun hung high in the sky and I knew I had to be very far from Idaho. It was still night time back there. Seagulls hovered in the toasty breeze, calling out to one another.

  I did as I always had done and scanned the beach both ways. When I heard the screaming, I knew where to go. Sprinting toward the figure lying half submerged, I recognized Thayde in an instant. He looked just as he had in my dreams - too thin, the skin sucked tight against his muscles and bones. He was curled on his side, his arms pulled into his chest, his fists clenched against the pain.

  “Thayde!” I cried, kneeling next to him. He didn’t open his eyes. He was breathing so rapidly I knew the amount of pain he had to be in was great.

  I placed my hands on his forehead and his side closing my eyes. I tried to ignore his shaking as I focused on trying to take away his pain. His body instantly attempted to reject my touch and power, but I concentrated harder and forced Mom’s healing powers through. The power hesitated before flying into Thayde’s body. Instantly, he grew still. Thank you God!

  Rolling him onto his back, I pulled his limp body into my arms. The waves lapped against his tail, spraying me with salt water. I stared down at his beautiful face and buried my head into his neck. I knew what was coming next.

  “We must leave,” the voice instructed.

  This time I ignored it.

  “They are on their way.” It persisted.

  “Thayde,” I began, looking back to my love lying heavily in my arms. “I can’t do all this alone.”

  I brushed my hand against his face, sweeping the particles of sand away from his sunken cheekbones and grabbed his hand, holding it tight. His wedding ring hung loose around his finger. My gaze fell on the scars around his wrists. Guilt wracked me to the bone. Why had I waited all this time to bring him back? I leaned forward and kissed his forehead

  “Morgan,”

  Thayde’s dark blue eyes had changed – they were lighter, almost the same pale grey as his skin.

  “Baby, are you still in pain?” I asked.

  “No,” he relaxed in my arms. “How did you find me?”

  “Shhh…” I hushed him. “We’ve got to get you home. Can you hold onto me?”

  He struggled to put his arms around my shoulders, barely able to embrace me. I pulled him as close as I could, his icy skin making me shiver. He was so skinny, I was scared to hold him too tightly.

  Again, I focused, slowing my heart rate, getting ready to leap. The golden orb returned, surrounding us in its heat. Thayde groaned and I pushed the energy harder in hopes that it would speed the leap. Seconds later, we were hit with the tremendous force and Thayde cried out in agony.

  When I opened my eyes, we lay on the beach at the house on the lake. Thayde lay unconscious on his side, naked and curled in my arms. Leaping had obviously forced him to phase.

  Mom and Lars were running toward me with Aletheia bringing up the rear. Leaping was easy, but it took too much out of me. I felt sick and the world began to swim. My body gave out just as Mom reached me. Feeling myself collapse into the sand, I was barely able to focus on Thayde as unconsciousness dragged me under.

  “It shouldn’t have been allowed.” Clearly, Aletheia was upset.

  “What would you have suggested? I tie her to a chair?” Mom’s exasperated voice was the easiest to hear.

  “No, she would have just burned through the ropes,” Lars chuckled and Aletheia’s voice rose.

  “It’s not funny, Lars!”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t see what the big deal is! She did just fine.”

  “What if she hadn’t?”

  “Do you live your whole life by ‘what if’s’?”

  “Lars, it’s something we have to think about all the time!”

  “You guys aren’t giving her much credit.”

  “Do you have kids?”

  “No.”

  “Then hush.”

  Time to wake up.

  Lars stormed from the table in frustration with Aletheia hot on his tail, trying to explain what she had meant. Mom began to pace the kitchen, but she came to an abrupt halt.

  “Thayde! What are you doing out of bed?” Her voice squeaked, as if she’d just had the fright of her life. “You scared me.”

  “I’m sorry.” His voice was so different - quiet and frail. “Can I get some water?”

  “Yes, of course!” I heard the faucet turn on. “Do you want to sit down?”

  “No, thank you.” I could tell he felt weak just by the tone of his voice. “I think I need to lie down again.”

  “Yes, of course. Can I help you up the stairs?”

  “No, thank you.” His wedding ring clinked against the glass Mom gave him and I heard her walk him to the stairs.

  “Try and get some more sleep, Thayde,” she said. “I’m sure Morgandy will wake up soon. Try not to worry. I’ve told Tammer and Ezen that Morgan found you and you’re safe. That lifted a huge burden off their shoulders. Tammer was very concerned about you but couldn’t leave Ezen alone with Limus.”

  “Thank you.”

  I listened to Thayde slowly ascend the stairs and realized how stiff and sore my body felt – like I had been run over. Aletheia never told me leaping would hurt this much. I sat up in bed and looked around the room. I’d been moved into the guest bedroom. Two twin beds stood next to each other, separated by a beautiful wooden side table. Matching red and white down filled quilts lay on both beds. I had kicked mine off, noticing the bed next to mine had been slept in.

  There was a soft noise at the door and Thayde walked into the room. I gasped at what I saw. He was wearing soft blue running pants with white vertical stripes down the sides and a black tank top. His collar bones pushed white against his grey skin and he was slightly hunched over. When he turned his face to look at me, I could have cried. He looked like death, but he was still my Thayde.

  I leapt off the bed and flew into his embrace. He hung his arms around me and sighed. He didn’t even feel the same - it was as if I was holding onto a different person, not my strong husband. He kissed the top of my head and stroked my hair.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” I sniffed and he let go of me.

  “I’ve got to lie down, Morgan,” he mumbled and I helped him to his bed. Once he lay down, he smiled that gorgeous smile. “Man, I’ve missed you.”

  The edge of the bed sagged as I sat down. I ran my hand down his arm. “Thayde, what happened to you?”

  He didn’t answer at first – he just stared at me, love splayed across his face.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

  I felt awful I hadn’t told him I loved him. I leaned forward and kissed his cool lips.

  “I love you so much, Thayde. I want you to know that.”

  “I know.” He reached for my hand and I took it, holding it to my chest. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

  I wasn’t, but that was the last thing I would have told him. Instead, I nodded and stroked his hair.

  “Are you in pain?” I asked and he nodded.

  “The pain’s always there and my body is not strong. It’s failing.”

  I didn’t know what to say. Panic gripped my heart as the feeling of helplessness overwhelmed me.

  Thayde gasped at the same time. “Baby, you’ve got to stop having these intense reactions. They’re killing me.”

  I was mortified. “I’m killing you?”

  He smiled weakly. “No. It’s just I can feel what you’re feeling and it’s more intense than usual. I could feel it when we were tracking Limus too – that’s partly why it took so long.” His breathing changed. “You can’t block this pain.”

  I didn’t know what to do. How could I stop what I was feeling? I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack.

  “Please stop,” he cried and clutched at his chest. “Morgan!” His chest rose as
his back arched and he grunted in pain.

  I turned and ran out of the room screaming for Mom and Aletheia. They were lounging on the patio with Lars and Jacob. The four of them leapt to their feet, drinks flying.

  “What’s happened?” Mom flew through the door.

  “It’s Thayde. I don’t know what to do. I feel as if I’m going to have a panic attack and it’s affecting him.”

  She ran around me, bounding up the stairs. Aletheia guided me to a chair.

  “Focus on controlling your emotions, Morgan. Pull yourself together and slow everything down.”

  Instinctively, I looked up at the open bedroom window from which Thayde’s cries poured. Aletheia grabbed my face, forcing me to look into her eyes.

  “Do it now, Morgan!” She ordered and I obeyed. Moments later, there was silence.

  “Is he all right?” I asked and Aletheia hung her head.

  “Because of the cording, your emotions enter him and open the pain from The Shadow back up. You cannot get overly emotional with him.”

  “Why can’t I feel his pain any longer?” I asked, my eyes nervously darting from Aletheia’s face to the upstairs window.

  “Because you’ve grown much stronger. As The Link, no one should be able to harm you. Thayde will still feel your pain and emotions, but you won’t feel his physical pain anymore.”

  Aletheia paused. She seemed to be considering what she should say next.

  “You have got to kill Limus to end this.”

  “I can’t.” I shook my head.

  “If you don’t, Thayde’s going to die,” Lars added, standing next to Aletheia.

  “There has to be another way,” I argued.

  “There isn’t.” She stood and Lars put his arm around her waist.

  “You should listen to her. She knows quite a bit,” he said. “The way I see it, you have two choices: kill Limus and save Thayde or allow Limus to live and let your husband die. Not only will he just die, he’ll die in absolute agony.” He looked deep into Aletheia’s eyes. “If it were up to me, I’d make the jerk reverse it and then kill him.”