Degrees of Passion

by Michelle M. Pillow

  ‘Pouting?’ Sasha giggled. ‘If all you’re going to do is pout when you think about me when you’re all alone, late at night, I must be doing something wrong.’

  Kevin grinned and made a move as if he’d pull her back on top of him. Sasha put her hand out, stopping his advance with a chuckle. ‘Maybe you should take me back to the cabin so I can shower and change. At this rate we’ll disappear into the woods and never be seen again.’

  ‘Like that’d be so bad.’ Kevin buttoned his pants, as Sasha righted her clothes. ‘Come here.’

  Fully dressed, Sasha went to him. He put his arm over her shoulders, holding her.

  Kevin kissed her temple. ‘I’ll talk to my mom and see what’s up with her, though I think you’re just reading too much into it.’

  ‘I’ve seen reactions to my mother all my life. Even you, who’d been warned about her eccentricities, reacted badly.’ Sasha sighed.

  ‘I’ll admit her statements shocked me a little, but I like the results.’

  Sasha smiled. ‘Me, too.’

  Kevin watched Sasha’s face from across the table. A night away from her had been too long and he couldn’t help but stare at her, ignoring his breakfast. She was too far away to touch, but close enough to hear and see. Her long lashes swept up, fanning over her beautiful eyes. He found himself grinning when he looked at her and he didn’t want to look away.

  The long dining room had several tables to accommodate the inn’s guests and every chair was filled. The main Sawmill Pine Inn had ten rooms, all currently occupied. Lively talk and boisterous laughter rang over him, adding the noisy backdrop to conversation he remembered well.

  Decorated purposefully around a long picture window showing off the perfect mountain landscape, the dining room gave the impression of comfort and ease. His grandma, ever tireless, worked to keep the buffet line fully stocked in scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy. Since they were busy, his mother and grandpa helped.

  ‘One of the guests took it off trail last year,’ Samuel answered Jackson’s question about a lame stallion. His brother sat next to him at the table, smelling of horses and the outdoors. Samuel didn’t say much, as was his brother’s quiet way, but Kevin translated what little he did into volumes of information. ‘One of the guests took it off trail’ translated into ‘a fucking city slicker idiot didn’t pay attention to what I told him to do, tried to scale a cliff like he’d seen in a movie, broke our prized stallion’s leg and is damned lucky I didn’t kill him for it’.

  ‘I love this gravy,’ Zoe said to her sisters. ‘I wonder if they’ll show me what they did. I taste the cream, but there’s something else.’

  Kevin turned his attention once more to Sasha, wishing he could talk to her. He didn’t have anything to say, he just wanted to have her voice directed at him. Her eyes met his and she gave him a lopsided grin.

  ‘Same thing happened a couple years back in my hometown,’ Jackson said, drawing Kevin’s attention back to his brother’s conversation. ‘Some rich guy from Florida thought he knew everything about horses. He tried to race one of ole Thompson’s stallions without permission. The horse threw him, the guy broke his leg and later tried to sue, but the courts sided with Thompson since the man technically stole the horse. It was a shame, too. The animal couldn’t be ridden at all after that.’

  Kevin hid his smile. It seemed someone else spoke Samuel at the table.

  His brother nodded. ‘Where you from?’

  ‘Dabery, South Carolina,’ Jackson answered.

  ‘Dabery stallions?’ Samuel pushed his plate aside, his tone showing the first real sign of interest in the conversation he was having.

  ‘The same.’ Jackson nodded. ‘I worked for the rancher who put that name on the map.’

  ‘You want to check out the stables?’ Samuel stood, prompting Jackson to do the same.

  ‘Oh, no, we’ve lost them now,’ Zoe teased. ‘There is something about horsemen talking about horses. We won’t see Jackson all week.’

  ‘Oh, I want to see,’ Kat announced. ‘Come on, baby.’

  Vincent dutifully stood. ‘Douglas?’

  ‘I’d love to,’ Sasha’s dad agreed. Samuel grunted, but didn’t protest.

  The five of them left, giving Kevin a chance to slide closer to Sasha. He took his brother’s seat and it brought him next to Sasha’s mother. Zoe smiled at him, tasting a small spoonful of the cream gravy thoughtfully.

  ‘This home is lovely,’ Beatrice told him. ‘It must have been exciting growing up with so many people around all the time.’

  ‘It had its moments,’ Kevin allowed. To Zoe, he said, ‘I’m sure my grandma would share the recipe with you.’

  ‘Then you clearly don’t understand the concept of the secret family recipe,’ Zoe answered.

  ‘She likes the mystery,’ Sasha told him. Her eyes had softened when she looked at him. Every nerve in his being told him to jump up and shout it out to the world that she was his. He refrained. Such foolish gestures were best left for the movies.

  ‘You’ll have to meet Ella,’ Beatrice told him.

  ‘If you can catch her at home,’ Sasha inserted.

  ‘She’s my free spirit,’ Beatrice explained.

  ‘I’ve heard. It must be very exciting for her to travel the world,’ Kevin said. ‘It takes a special kind of person to join our military and serve.’

  ‘When Ella was born I knew she was different than the others,’ Beatrice said.

  ‘What?’ Zoe snorted.

  ‘You did not,’ Sasha added.

  ‘I did too,’ Beatrice admonished. ‘It wasn’t just that she was a tomboy, it was her need for adventure. Megan was my disciplinarian. Kat was my creative soul. Zoe my nurturer. And Ella was my adventurer. I knew she’d never settle down. I wouldn’t be surprised if she never gets married. Some people aren’t meant to be, you know.’

  ‘This is news to us,’ Zoe said.

  ‘It’s not OK for you,’ Beatrice said. ‘Why would I tell you it was? I knew you’d find a man like Jackson.’

  ‘Here she goes.’ Sasha rolled her eyes. ‘Mom, we talked about this. You promised.’

  ‘No, wait.’ Kevin lifted his hand and turned his full attention to Beatrice. ‘What about Sasha?’

  ‘She was my confused one.’ Beatrice nodded. ‘It was like I was telling Taffy. Sasha could never decide what she wanted, but she was always driven to get it.’

  ‘Oh, Mom, you didn’t,’ Sasha groaned.

  ‘Why? It’s the truth. There’s no shame in the truth.’ Beatrice tried to pat her daughter’s hand, but it was out of reach. Sasha’s face read that there were a lot of things she wanted to say in return, but she held back.

  ‘I don’t know about that,’ Kevin said. ‘I think she’s making decisions.’

  ‘Like?’ Zoe asked.

  ‘Like,’ Sasha interrupted, ‘I’m finishing school. I’m getting my masters in Latin Studies.’

  ‘That is something,’ Beatrice agreed.

  ‘And?’ Zoe prodded, a secretive smile crossing her features like she knew some secret. She pretended to examine her gravy.

  ‘And I’m –’ Sasha paused, stumbling over her next word ‘– dating someone.’

  ‘Try not to choke on it,’ Zoe teased.

  ‘What was that?’ Beatrice asked, leaning forwards as if she hadn’t heard the obvious statement. ‘I didn’t quite catch what you said.’

  ‘I said I’m dating Kevin,’ Sasha announced. The declaration was loud and several of the nearby tables paused in silence before erupting into playful laughter as they went back to their own conversations. Quieter, she repeated, ‘I’m dating Kevin and I’m happy about it.’

  Kevin glanced down at his plate, trying not to grin quite so much.

  ‘It’s good to hear you’ve made a decision,’ Beatrice said, nodding.

  ‘Kevin,’ his mother interrupted them. She stood beside the table, a small frown marring her features. At Taffy’s stern look, he wondered if maybe Sasha h
adn’t been imagining his mother’s disapproval. ‘I need you to help your grandpa.’

  ‘Not a problem.’ Kevin instantly stood. To Sasha, he said, ‘I’ll catch up with you later so we can work.’

  His tone might have been a little too deep with meaning because she blushed.

  ‘Aren’t these kids just adorable?’ Beatrice announced cheerfully.

  Taffy glanced over the table, not saying anything. Kevin followed her through the formal dining room where no one ever seemed to eat. They continued into the living room past the laughter of guests echoing in from the mud porch. Warmth radiated from the wood-burning stove. Kevin’s eyes glanced over the decorative books only the rare guest seemed to pick up and read. He knew every one of them.

  ‘Where’s Grandpa?’ he asked.

  ‘Outside. I need you to help him unload a car. Sam usually does it, but he’s showing your friends the stables.’

  Catching her arm before she could whisk away, he asked, ‘Mom, everything all right?’

  Her face softened when she looked at him. ‘Of course, sweetheart. Everything’s fine. We’re just busy.’

  ‘Are you sure? You seem put out by Sasha’s family. I know her mother can be a little . . .’ Kevin tried to think of a diplomatic word, but the truth was he’d just met her himself.

  ‘She’s a loon,’ Taffy said. Kevin frowned. ‘What? Don’t give me that look. You know better than to ask me a question you don’t want answered. I love you and will always tell you what I think, even if it’s not the popular opinion. Now, is there something you need to tell me?’

  ‘Sasha is not pregnant.’

  Taffy blinked in surprise. ‘But Beatrice said . . .’

  ‘It’s just a reading for fun,’ Kevin explained. ‘I’ve talked to Sasha and she assures me she’s not pregnant. Beatrice is just eccentric.’

  ‘So then it is possible that she could be,’ Taffy reasoned.

  Kevin wanted to groan. He’d fallen right into that trap, admitting more than he intended. He might be in his thirties, but that didn’t mean he wanted to talk about his love life with his mother. ‘We’re dating.’

  ‘What happened to partners?’

  ‘Dating happened.’ He kept his tone even, giving her an impish smile.

  Just like when he was a boy, she couldn’t resist. Taffy chuckled, shaking her head.

  ‘I promise there’s nothing you need to worry about.’ He kissed the top of her head.

  ‘Talk to me about worry when you have children,’ she dismissed. ‘Only don’t have them too soon.’

  ‘You’ll love Sasha if you give her a chance.’ Kevin sighed. This was not the reaction he expected from his mother. She normally liked everyone. When Michael and Oliver brought home their future wives, she’d been overjoyed. ‘She’s not like her mother.’

  ‘She’s not right for you,’ Taffy said. ‘And I don’t think her family is either. They’re strange and her mother, trying to trap you with her fake readings like some sort of prize. It’s odd. What mother makes up a fake pregnancy for her daughter?’

  ‘You don’t know her,’ Kevin defended.

  ‘I know you,’ Taffy answered. The sound of laughter drew near and she glanced past his shoulder. ‘Now’s not the time. Go help your grandpa. We’ll talk more later.’

  ‘There’s not much more to say.’ Kevin grabbed his coat off the coat tree, jerking it over his arms as he marched outside. His grandpa struggled to pull a large suitcase off the top of a car. Guests stood nearby, pointing up at the mountains. ‘Here, Grandpa, let me help.’

  She’s not right for you. And I don’t think her family is either. They’re strange and her mother, trying to trap you with her fake readings like some sort of prize. It’s odd. What mother makes up a fake pregnancy for her daughter?

  Sasha breathed deeply, wishing she could sink into the wall and disappear. Her mother had insisted she go after Kevin to see if she could be of help. Hoping to smooth things over with Taffy by being of use, she never intended to eavesdrop on the woman’s conversation with her son. She didn’t catch everything they said, but she heard enough.

  She’s not right for you.

  The words cut deep, creating an ache in her chest that wouldn’t subside. Taffy didn’t think Sasha was good enough for her son. And why would she? Kevin was handsome and smart. Sasha could barely make a decision about what she wanted.

  No, that wasn’t true. She knew what she wanted. She wanted Kevin. Just Kevin. None of the details of it mattered. They could live in the jungle, eating bugs and she wouldn’t care.

  She’s not right for you.

  Pressing her hand against her chest, she bit her lip and concentrated on not crying. It was much worse having her fears confirmed. Thinking Taffy might not like her was nothing compared to hearing the words said out loud.

  The ache only became worse and she found herself unable to move. There was nowhere to run. Guests of the B&B filled almost every room. Her family was outside and in the dining room. She didn’t have a car and running away into the mountains wasn’t a viable option.

  A couple walked out of the dining room. Sasha held her breath, watching the tall man with his redheaded wife, hoping they didn’t see her. The wife glanced in her direction, looked like she would say something but held back.

  ‘Did you enjoy your breakfast?’ Taffy asked, her voice travelling from the other room.

  ‘It was wonderful!’ the redhead exclaimed.

  As Kevin’s mom made small talk with the couple, Sasha finally managed to push herself off the wall. She hurried forwards, trying to stay out of Taffy’s eye line.

  ‘Sasha?’ Zoe asked, standing near the breakfast room archway. ‘What’s wrong? Where’s Kevin?’

  ‘He left.’ Sasha motioned weakly to the front room, not sure where she was going. ‘Get me out of here. Please?’

  ‘Oh, OK.’ Zoe nodded, concern shining on her face. She appeared torn between comforting Sasha and turning around. ‘I’ll, ah, go get Mom’s keys.’

  Sasha waited, dabbing at her eyes with her fingertips, sweeping the moisture of threatening tears. To herself, she whispered, ‘Hurry, Zoe.’

  Zoe came back, keys in hand. ‘Mom’s going to stay and wait for the others. She’ll catch a ride with Jackson.’ She threaded her arm through Sasha’s. ‘There’s a back door through the kitchen.’

  Arm in arm, they hurried through the messy kitchen and through the side door. The way was clear of people until they came around the side of the house. Sasha pulled Zoe back, waiting as Kevin carried a trunk inside with his grandpa. When the two disappeared, she made a run for the car.

  Zoe slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. As they backed out of the drive, she said, ‘Not that I don’t like playing secret agent with you, but what the hell is going on, Sasha?’

  ‘Please, just drive. I can’t face him right now.’ She sniffed, tears slipping onto her cheeks. ‘I don’t want them to see me cry.’

  Chapter Thirteen

  ‘I don’t know what I did, but the woman hates me.’ Sasha sniffed, feeling much better now that she had taken a long shower. She sat on the couch, her legs pulled in close to her chest as she rested her head on Kat’s shoulders. Everyone else in her family was outside, admiring nature. ‘This morning I asked her if I could help. She told me that it wasn’t my problem and that it was a family business and family would take care of it.’

  ‘I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it,’ Zoe tried to reassure.

  ‘You didn’t hear the way she said family. It was like she was saying, you’ll never be a part of this family.’ Sasha sniffed louder, reaching her hand out and wiggling her fingers towards a box of tissues.

  Zoe pulled a tissue from the box and handed it over. ‘Do you want to be a part of his family?’

  ‘I think that’s rather obvious,’ Kat answered for her. ‘Why else would she be so upset by Taffy’s comments?’

  ‘She doesn’t think I’m good enough for her son,’ Sasha said.


  ‘As if mothers are supposed to like who their sons date,’ Kat dismissed. ‘Mimi tolerates me.’

  ‘You’re not dating Taffy,’ Zoe added. ‘What matters is that Kevin likes you.’

  ‘You don’t see the way he talks about his family,’ Sasha put forth. ‘If you all hated who I was dating, I don’t think I could get serious about that person. I’m sorry, but I want my family to get along with the man in my life. Why do you think I keep them from you? I’m scared of what you’ll think or say. And, when I get married, I want my husband’s family to like me, too. I want to be able to do the holiday rounds and weekly phone calls with both sides.’

  ‘Did you say married?’ Kat gasped.

  ‘Omigod, Sash, did Kevin ask you to—’ Zoe began.

  ‘No,’ Sasha broke in before the rumor magically reached their mother’s ears. ‘I’m just saying. I really like him but, if his family doesn’t like me, I’m afraid he’ll realize he’s too smart for me and . . .’

  ‘Too smart for you?’ Kat grumbled, shaking her head. ‘Honestly, I don’t like hearing you talk like this. You are very intelligent.’

  ‘No man should ever make you feel stupid,’ Zoe said.

  ‘He doesn’t,’ Sasha quickly corrected. ‘I make me feel stupid. It’s just I worry that I won’t keep him interested with my mind.’

  ‘Oh, is that all?’ Kat giggled, nudging Sasha lightly in an effort to cheer her. ‘I find interesting them with your body works just as well, if not better.’

  Sasha laughed despite herself. ‘Come on, I’m being serious.’

  ‘So am I,’ Kat exclaimed. ‘I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. He’s all grins and gazing. You could stand there listing your kindergarten color names and he’d be interested in you.’ Lowering her voice, she recited, ‘Red. Green. Blue.’

  ‘Purple,’ Zoe added, hugging Sasha from her other side. ‘Yellow.’

  ‘Orange.’ Sasha tried to keep her depressed expression, but couldn’t manage it.

  ‘Orange?’ Beatrice asked her daughters from the doorway.

  ‘Your hair, Mom,’ Kat said, smiling angelically.

  ‘Oh,’ Beatrice touched her locks. ‘Do you like it? I tried a new hair color mixture. It’s not too carrot-y, is it?’