My Boyfriend's Back

by Maureen McCarrie

  Rori smiled reassuringly. "I'd love a latte. We've already eaten, but do you have any snacks?" She glanced around, wondering where the usual bowls of pretzels and popcorn had gone.

  "Class of '91 cleaned us out, but I'm sure I can rustle something up."

  John ordered a beer. Norman returned with their drinks, and placed a large bowl of M&M candies on the table. He gave John a wink as he returned to the bar.

  Rori felt the weariness of the weekend settling into her shoulders. She knew she wouldn't sleep if she went back to her room. Scooping up some candies, she set them on the table and sorted them by color: blue, green, yellow, orange, red, brown. Popping the blue ones into her mouth, she crunched them in silence. John sat across from her, watching. Usually she got teasing comments when people saw her do it, but she couldn’t eat unsorted M&M's. There was something blasphemous about it.

  Lydon took a long pull from his beer and let a deep breath out slowly. If Rori was feeling both exhausted and restless, John was feeling tortured. Her nearness was both punishment and ecstasy. He knew he had very little time to act, but was terrified to do so. It would be so easy to drive her away.

  He'd gone about this wrong, and he'd underestimated Rori. You were right after all, mom. The thought mocked him. At every turn she had met John Lydon with suspicion, defending Jack fiercely. He'd been given a second chance— delivered into the hands of angels— and may well have thrown it away for vanity. Rori McLeary didn't want the perfect body and face. She wanted Jack Lynch.

  Jack's spirit trembled in John's body.

  "Rori, I know I have no right to ask it of you, but I'd like to say a few things. Do you think you can hear me out? Believe me when I tell you, this is what Jack would want."

  Her sudden anger didn't surprise him. "How would you know what Jack would want? I've kept my mouth shut all day, but I'm done. What exactly is this game you are playing?"

  "I know it probably looks bad—"

  "Bad? Bad? It looks criminal, frankly." She took a deep breath, crunching down on four red M&M's before sorting another handful into color-coded piles. "I've been thinking about it all day, and it's absolutely creepy the way you are imitating Jack. And I don't trust the way you're sucking up to his mother. It's almost like she has just— just— erased Jack and plugged you into the empty space!"

  "Jack knows I will look after his mother. She's more of a mother to me than my own, now." It was true enough. John's mother lived in Palm Springs, and Jack had never met her.

  "And just when did you two— the walking definitions of arch-frenemies— become besties, John? When did you get to know Jack so well? When did you stop bullying everyone around you and become mister chivalry?"

  "I can't tell you Jack's side of the story— those are his secrets to keep." He was getting really good at manipulating the truth. "What I can do is give you my side of it, if you are willing to listen."

  She shrugged, but it was a reluctant assent.

  "Jack had every reason to hate me. But I think you know, maybe better than anyone else, he isn't wired that way. He might have wanted to see me take a hit, or get a dose of my own medicine, yeah. But he isn't the kind of guy who would make another person suffer. So when he had the chance to humiliate me, and slam a door in my face, he didn't."

  He waited for her to comment. She sipped her latte and said nothing.

  "I got fired from three jobs in three consecutive media outlets. They were right to fire me. I acted like a complete asshole. Jack was willing to give me another chance, but only if I would change. He had no reason to do it. I had no right to expect it."

  "And just like that," she said, "you became brothers? Became best friends? Became— what, exactly?"

  "Kindred spirits?" He smiled. "I told you, Rori, there's a lot I can't say without betraying a trust... or two, actually. Maybe you could spend more time with Jack's mom. Ask her what she's willing to share. I think she will tell you that you can trust me."

  "She's a blind woman, all alone, about to lose her son." Rori set her jaw at that.

  "Maybe so. Maybe she will lose a son. Maybe she will gain another one. But don't for one minute get it into your head that Kate Lynch is dumb, or easily led, or dotty."

  Rori was surprised at the genuine anger she saw in his face. "I happen to be very fond of Kate, so don't make this out like I'm doubting her. I don't want to see her get hurt."

  "Give her some credit. For that matter, give Jack some."

  "What? Where do you—"

  "Hang on, Rori." John's face was flushed. "Admit it to yourself, at least. You never gave him credit. He tagged along behind you all through high school and you let him. Now you're his protector?"

  "I loved him. I still do." The words were a choked whisper. Had she really been cruel to Jack?

  "If that's true you should trust his judgment. If he trusts me with his mother, you should trust him to know he can."

  Rori stared at the table. John dropped some money beside his empty beer and stood.

  "I hope you can learn to look at me and see who I really am, Rori. Who I really am. Before it's too late."

  With that cryptic remark he left. Lifting her eyes to the space where he'd been, Rori felt the blood drain from her face. Her hands trembled.

  The candies on John's side of the table had all been eaten... except for the orange ones. They were pushed to one side in a bright, sunny pile.

  What the hell was going on?

  Chapter 10

  Rori called ahead to be sure she would find Kate Lynch alone. Assured that John was "out of the house on business," she took a cab to the house and rapped on the door with a box of pastries under her arm.

  Sitting across from Jack's mother, she poured tea for both of them.

  "I hope you don't mind me dropping in, Kate." Rori still felt the woman was far too calm for someone with a beloved son in a coma.

  "Not at all, dear. This door is always open to you."

  "Something has really been bothering me, and John told me I should talk to you." Rori pursed her lips, took a breath, and soldiered on. "I hope you know I would never want to do anything to offend you."

  "Rori, what is it? I can hear the worry in your voice. Come, out with it, dear."

  "What is going on?" She blurted it out, then wished she'd planned ahead before she came. But now the door was open. "I just can't understand this sudden connection between Jack, and you, and John Lydon. So, okay, Jack forgives the guy, and okay, maybe he's trying to get his life together. But what's with the channeling Jack thing?"

  "The— channeling?"

  "Well he just— he acts like he's trying to be Jack. The cookies, and the candy, and the nickname—"

  "Rori, dear, you are getting a little hysterical."

  "How can you not notice it?"

  Kate Lynch pushed the teacup away from herself and sat back, folding her hands in her lap. Rori felt the air rush out of her anger in a sudden whoosh.

  "You think I don't notice the changes in John?" Her voice was deadly quiet. "Rori, dear, I'm not the one missing things here. John is a son to me. Jack is my life. If you saw things as clearly as this old blind woman, you'd know exactly why."

  Rori took a breath to speak, but Kate Lynch held a hand up imperiously.

  "Listen to me, dear. I know you came home this weekend hoping for a chance to make things right between you and Jack. Young people tend to think they invented love. You didn't, you know. So listen to an old woman who knows a thing or two. You love Jack and he loves you. Sometimes... well, sometimes, sweetheart, you have to look past the packaging."

  Rori was completely bewildered, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was missing something.

  "Do you remember when Jack re-painted his bedroom a month after your husband painted it? In fifth grade?"

  Kate smiled. "His father called it one color, but Jack insisted it was another. I, obviously, was no help."

  "It was orange. Oh, the most awful orange. Jack wanted a warm tan color, and had
to do it over. But he hated orange after that— still hates it, in fact. It became a running joke. He wouldn't wear orange clothes, drink orange soda, or eat anything orange. Jack swore the color gave him a headache."

  Kate said nothing.

  "What aren't you telling me?"

  "Rori... you may think your second chance with Jack is slipping away. It isn't. All I can tell you is to listen to your heart and trust it. Even if it makes no sense. Love rarely does, you know."

  Try as she might, Rori could get not another word from Jack's mother on the topic.

  Chapter 11

  Heaven, Office of Human Resources

  Norman crept down the hall to the break room, checking each cubicle and doorway as he passed. As expected, Sidney was leaning over a bowl of microwaved pasta.

  "Hey, Sid!" Norman dropped into a chair beside him. "Uriel said you were off probation."

  "Just had the device removed from my ankle. With Cupids the urge is strong enough they don't trust us not to go rogue and start darting people left and right. Insulting. It's nothing more than bigotry."

  "Right, right. Absolutely." Norman peered around the break room, trying to act nonchalant. "So you got your arrows back and everything?"

  "Yup. Reloaded my quiver earlier. Soon as I finish lunch I'm out on a new assignment." Sidney cast a sidelong glance at Norman. "What's this I hear about you being banned from watching Next Big Star?"

  Norman bristled. "I wasn't banned. I was late for one assignment and they forbid me to watch on work nights."

  Sidney snickered. "Heard you have a regular Freaky Friday situation on your hands, though."

  "Shut up, Sidney. Eat your loopi-noodle-o's."

  Norman trotted back down the hallway, pausing only briefly to reach over the top of Sidney's cubicle in passing. He whistled cheerfully as he made for the elevator, punching the EARTH button with a grin.

  Operation Dart Board was initiated.

  Chapter 12

  Rori lay on the bed in her hotel room, flipping the channels. She couldn't decide if she wanted to visit Jack's bedside again. Calling Kate for an invitation to do so would be awkward after their last conversation. She felt, in retrospect, that she had badgered the older woman.

  Yet she was also absolutely certain that something wasn't right. It was as if all the signs were right in front of her, but she couldn't quite put them together.

  She glanced at the movie listings. Heaven Can Wait, What Dreams May Come, Freaky Friday. Weird selections.

  Garbage on the television. Reunion a total wash. Time for a drink.

  She checked her face in the mirror before pulling her hair into a ponytail and heading for the lounge. Tomorrow night was the final get-together, where silly awards and last goodbyes would be exchanged. Rori wasn't sure she wanted to hang around that long, but her hotel and flight were pre-paid, and she couldn't make up her mind about Jack.

  What if he died? What if he woke up? What did it matter?

  Was Jack Lynch even the same person she remembered? They had seen one another a time or two in passing, mostly before Rori's parents moved to Florida. He'd outgrown his awkwardness, emerging as an attractive, confident man. Yet always there had been a tremor of unresolved tension, a shiver at the slightest touch.

  Had that been her imagination?

  Emerging from the elevator and crossing the lobby to the lounge, she fell into a stool and waved Norman over. The guy never slept.

  She ordered a glass of white wine. A chill ran up her spine— sweet and familiar. John Lydon dropped onto the stool next to hers.

  Rori stiffened, and he held up a hand. "I'm just grabbing a beer. Moose Holyfield came by and we're going to play a game of darts."

  Norman pushed a set of darts toward John and gestured toward the board. One of them had a golden tip. John held it up, raising an eyebrow in question.

  "New way to play," Norman said. "You get triple points for the gold one."

  John shrugged and gave Rori a final, searching glance before joining Moose on the other side of the room. A few other guys were playing pool.

  "How's it going?" Norman was cutting lemons on the counter.

  "This may have been the worst weekend of my life, Norman." Rori sipped the wine. It was mediocre at best.

  "Always darkest before the dawn, I like to say."

  "You're seriously going to go there?" She gave him a warning look.

  "I go where angels fear to tread. Actually," Norman tilted his head, "I just go where angels tread. Most of them don't scare really easily."

  "You believe in angels?" Rori grinned, plucking a kernel of popcorn from the bowl he'd just refilled.

  "You don't?"

  She let silence be her answer.

  "You need to believe in something, Rori."

  "Right now, I believe I need to pee." Rori didn't remember giving Norman her name, but he'd been around enough he probably picked it up in passing.

  Her license, credit cards, and room-card were tucked into a small change purse in her pocket with some cash. "Watch my drink for me?" Norman nodded, and Rori headed for the lady's room.

  John Lydon and Moose Holyfield were sprawled out in a pair of chairs across from the dart board, goofing off over a pair of beers. Rori scooted between them to circumvent the guys at the pool tables, who were getting rowdy. She glanced over her shoulder at John, who held the gold dart in his hand, gesturing wildly at Moose, his face turned opposite her.

  Rori ducked toward the lady's room quickly, hoping to avoid his scrutiny.

  John gestured as he and Moose chatted, his hand going slack, and felt the dart fly from his fingers. He whipped around just in time to hear Rori shriek as it drilled itself into her backside.

  Oh no. He felt the blood drain from his face.

  Gales of laughter erupted from the pool tables. Rori McLeary twisted, saw the dart sticking out from her denim-clad cheek, and plucked it out. Glaring at John, she plunged the dart into the board as she passed, and slammed the door to the lady's room open.

  "Oh shit shit shit." John cradled his head in his hands.

  "Hey, man, it was an accident." Moose was barely containing his laughter.

  "You don't understand." John lurched toward the bathroom door. "Stop laughing, all of you!"

  "Aw, ease up, Lydon!" One of the guys was rocking back against the wall, coughing up great guffaws.

  He waited, sick to his stomach. Rori burst back through the door after what seemed to be an eternity, and shoved past him.

  "Rori, I'm so sorry."

  She whirled to face him. "Stay away from me, Lydon. Just leave me alone."

  She slapped a bill on the bar before storming out. John felt his heart breaking as he watched her go.

  See me, Rori. I'm right here. See me.

  But it was no use.

  ***

  Rori reached out to brush a lock of hair from Jack's brow, trying to ignore the tubes obscuring so much of his face. He and John had similar hair, she thought, and almost immediately recoiled from the thought.

  "I came here for you, Jack. I don't know if you can hear me, but I didn't want the weekend to end without saying it. I came here for you."

  Frustration, fear, and anger came rushing to a head and Rori broke down in tears. She choked down a sob, afraid to alert the nurse who had only let her in because she recognized her from the last visit.

  "I think I've been in love with you since nursery school, Jack. And I waited for you to see it. And I was afraid to be the first to say it. And now I'm really scared that it's too late."

  The rhythmic beep of the life support equipment was her only answer. Was Jack even here? Was this body in the bed, unmoving and silent, just an empty shell?

  "I don't know what to do, Jack. I think something weird is going on with your mom and John Lydon." John's face swam before her, then, impossibly handsome. She'd hated him for so long. Was she even capable of giving him a fair chance? Why were he and Jack's mom acting so secretively?

  "I have
no idea what secrets you can't share, Jack. I don't know if it's just stupid to think I could come back to Hammond for a reunion and somehow— I don't know, just— fix it. I guess that was just ridiculous. But I didn't want to leave without saying it. I waited twenty years and never said it. So now you know. I love you."

  "He knows."

  Rori turned, startled at the voice behind her. A fair haired man in a white coat stood in the doorway.

  "I'm sorry I startled you." The light from the hallway obscured his features, but Rori caught the glimpse of a smile.

  "No, I—"

  "I didn't mean to interrupt. But I can tell you that he knows."

  "I just didn't want to be too late."

  "It's never too late. The body dies, but the spirit never does. Even if your friend's body expires, you can always find his spirit again if you know where to look."

  It was an odd way to phrase what Rori thought was meant to comfort her. She glanced back at Jack, struck again by the notion that the body laying so still was not him. She turned back to ask the doctor what he'd meant.

  He was gone.

  Chapter 13

  Heaven, Eternity Court, Probation Department

  A tall angel in a navy blue and white uniform stood to one side of the court room. He stood as John Lydon's spirit filed in. John had been noticing his body— or, the memory of his body— growing disturbingly transparent. He was pretty sure it had something to do with Jack Lynch and the accident, but was having trouble remembering things lately.

  "All rise!" The uniformed angel's voice boomed through the room. "The Honorable Chief Justice Camael, Holy of the Sefiroth, Personification of Justice, and Grand Poobah of the Order of the Magic Moose Lodge presiding!"

  A few of the angels lingering in the corners of the courtroom snickered.

  "Very funny, Ofiel." The huge, winged figure atop the bench above him dropped into his seat, his massive wings settling around him. "Please be seated."