"I … 1 am not exactly… . Since I cannot be a Russian, I became a Slavophil." He smiled a wry smile with the effort of one who feels he has made a strained and inappropriate jest.
"Why, aren't you a Russian?"
"No, I'm not."
"Well, that's all foolishness. Do sit down, I entreat you. Why are you all over the place? Do you think I am lightheaded? Perhaps I shall be. You say there are only you two in the house."
"Yes… . Downstairs … "
"And both such clever people. What is there downstairs? You said downstairs?"
"No, nothing."
"Why nothing? I want to know."
"I only meant to say that now we are only two in the yard, but that the Lebyadkins used to live downstairs… ."
"That woman who was murdered last night?" she started suddenly. "I heard of it. I heard of it as soon as I arrived. There was a fire here, wasn't there?"
"Yes, Marie, yes, and perhaps I am doing a scoundrelly thing this moment in forgiving the scoundrels… ." He stood up suddenly and paced about the room, raising his arms as though in a frenzy.
But Marie had not quite understood him. She heard his answers inattentively; she asked questions but did not listen.
"Fine things are being done among you! Oh, how contemptible it all is! What scoundrels men all are! But do sit down, I beg you, oh, how you exasperate me!" and she let her head sink on the pillow, exhausted.
"Marie, I won't… . Perhaps you'll lie down, Marie?" She made no answer and closed her eyes helplessly. Her pale face looked death-like. She fell asleep almost instantly. Shatov looked round, snuffed the candle, looked uneasily at her face once , more, pressed his hands tight in front of him and walked on tiptoe out of the room into the passage. At the top of the stairs he stood in the corner with his face to the wall and remained so for ten minutes without sound or movement. He would have stood there longer, but he suddenly caught the sound of soft cautious steps below. Some one was coming up the stairs. Shatov remembered he had forgotten to fasten the gate.
"Who's there?" he asked in a whisper. The unknown visitor went on slowly mounting the stairs without answering. When he reached the top he stood still; it was impossible to see his face in the dark; suddenly Shatov heard the cautious question:
"Ivan Shatov?"
Shatov said who he was, but at once held out his hand to check his advance. The latter took his hand, and Shatov shuddered as though he had touched some terrible reptile.
"Stand here," he whispered quickly. "Don't go in, I can't receive you just now. My wife has come back. I'll fetch the candle."
When he returned with the candle he found a young officer standing there; he did not know his name but he had seen him before.
"Erkel," said the lad, introducing himself. "You've seen me at Virginsky's."
"I remember; you sat writing. Listen," said Shatov in sudden excitement, going up to him frantically, but still talking in a whisper. "You gave me a sign just now when you took my hand. But you know I can treat all these signals with contempt! I don't acknowledge them… . I don't want them… . I can throw you downstairs this minute, do you know that?"
"No, I know nothing about that and I don't know what you are in such a rage about," the visitor answered without malice and almost ingenuously. "I have only to give you a message, and that's what I've come for, being particularly anxious not to lose time. You have a printing press which does not belong to you, and of which you are bound to give an account, as you know yourself. I have received instructions to request you to give it up to-morrow at seven o'clock in the evening to Liputin. I have been instructed to tell you also that nothing more will be asked of you."
"Nothing?"
"Absolutely nothing. Your request is granted, and you are struck off our list. I was instructed to tell you that positively."
"Who instructed you to tell me?"
"Those who told me the sign."
"Have you come from abroad?"
"I … I think that's no matter to you."
"Oh, hang it! Why didn't you come before if you were told to?"
"I followed certain instructions and was not alone."
"I understand, I understand that you were not alone. Eh … hang it! But why didn't Liputin come himself?"
"So I shall come for you to-morrow at exactly six o'clock in the evening, and we'll go there on foot. There will be no one there but us three."
"Will Verhovensky be there?"
"No, he won't. Verhovensky is leaving the town at eleven o'clock to-morrow morning."
"Just what I thought!" Shatov whispered furiously, and he struck his fist on his hip. "He's run off, the sneak!"
He sank into agitated reflection. Erkel looked intently at him and waited in silence.
"But how will you take it? You can't simply pick it up in your hands and carry it."
"There will be no need to. You'll simply point out the place and we'll just make sure that it really is buried there. We only know whereabouts the place is, we don't know the place itself. And have you pointed the place out to anyone else yet?" Shatov looked at him.
"You, you, a chit of a boy like you, a silly boy like you, you too have got caught in that net like a sheep? Yes, that's just the young blood they want! Well, go along. E-ech! that scoundrel's taken you all in and run away."
Erkel looked at him serenely and calmly but did not seem to understand.
"Verhovensky, Verhovensky has run away!" Shatov growled fiercely.
"But he is still here, he is not gone away. He is not going till to-morrow," Erkel observed softly and persuasively. "I particularly begged him to be present as a witness; my instructions all referred to him (he explained frankly like a young and inexperienced boy). But I regret to say he did not agree on the ground of his departure, and he really is in a hurry."
Shatov glanced compassionately at the simple youth again, but suddenly gave a gesture of despair as though he thought "they are not worth pitying."
"All right, I'll come," he cut him short. "And now get away, be off."
"So I'll come for you at six o'clock punctually." Erkel made a courteous bow and walked deliberately downstairs.
"Little fool!" Shatov could not help shouting after him from the top.
"What is it?" responded the lad from the bottom.
"Nothing, you can go."
"I thought you said something."
Erkel was a "little fool" who was only lacking in the higher form of reason, the ruling power of the intellect; but of the lesser, the subordinate reasoning faculties, he had plentyeven to the point of cunning. Fanatically, childishly devoted to "the cause" or rather in reality to Pyotr Verhovensky, he acted on the instructions given to him when at the meeting of the quintet they had agreed and had distributed the various duties for the next day. When Pyotr Stepanovitch gave him the job of messenger, he succeeded in talking to him aside for ten minutes.
A craving for active service was characteristic of this shallow, unreflecting nature, which was for ever yearning to follow the lead of another man's will, of course for the good of "the common" or "the great" cause. Not that that made any difference, for little fanatics like Erkel can never imagine serving a cause except by identifying it with the person who, to their minds, is the expression of it. The sensitive, affectionate and kind-hearted Erkel was perhaps the most callous of Shatov's would-be murderers, and, though he had no personal spite against him, he would have been present at his murder without-the quiver of an eyelid. He had been instructed; for instance, to have a good look at Shatov's surroundings while carrying out his commission, and when Shatov, receiving him at the top of the stairs, blurted out to him, probably unaware in the heat of the moment, that his wife had come back to himErkel had the instinctive cunning to avoid displaying the slightest curiosity, though the idea flashed through his mind that the fact of his wife's return was of great importance for the success of their undertaking.
And so it was in reality; it was only that fact that saved the "scoundrels
" from Shatov's carrying out his intention, and at the same time helped them "to get rid of him." To begin with, it agitated Shatov, threw him out of his regular routine, and deprived him of his usual clear-sightedness and caution. Any idea of his own danger would be the last thing to enter his head at this moment when he was absorbed with such different considerations. On the contrary, he eagerly believed that Pyotr Verhovensky was running away the next day: it fell in exactly with his suspicions! Returning to the room he sat down again in a corner, leaned his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands. Bitter thoughts tormented him… .
Then he would raise his head again and go on tiptoe to look at her. "Good God! she will be in a fever by to-morrow morning; perhaps it's begun already! She must have caught cold. She is not accustomed to this awful climate, and then a third-class carriage, the storm, the rain, and she has such a thin little pelisse, no wrap at all… . And to leave her like this, to abandon her in her helplessness! Her bag, too, her bagwhat a tiny, light thing, all crumpled up, scarcely weighs ten pounds! Poor thing, how worn out she is, how much she's been through! She is proud, that's why she won't complain. But she is irritable, very irritable. It's illness; an angel will grow irritable in illness. What a dry forehead, it must be hothow dark she is under the eyes, and … and yet how beautiful the oval of her face is and her rich hair, how … "
And he made haste to turn away his eyes, to walk away as though he were frightened at the very idea of seeing in her anything but an unhappy, exhausted fellow-creature who needed help" how could he think of hopes, oh, how mean, how base is man!" And he would go back to his corner, sit down, hide his face in his hands and again sink into dreams and reminiscences … and again he was haunted by hopes.
"Oh, I am tired, I am tired," he remembered her exclamations, her weak broken voice. "Good God! Abandon her now, and she has only eighty kopecks; she held out her purse, a tiny old thing! She's come to look for a job. What does she know about jobs? What do they know about Russia? Why, they are like naughty children, they've nothing but their own fancies made up by themselves, and she is angry, poor thing, that Russia is not like their foreign dreams! The luckless, innocent creatures! … It's really cold here, though."
He remembered that she had complained, that he had promised to heat the stove. "There are logs here, I can fetch them if only I don't wake her. But I can do it without waking her. But what shall I do about the veal? When she gets up perhaps she will be hungry… . Well, that will do later: Kirillov doesn't go to bed all night. What could I cover her with, she is sleeping so soundly, but she must be cold, ah, she must be cold!" And once more he went to look at her; her dress had worked up a little and her right leg was half uncovered to the knee. He suddenly turned away almost in dismay, took off his warm overcoat, and, remaining in his wretched old jacket, covered it up, trying not to look at it.
A great deal of time was spent in righting the fire, stepping about on tiptoe, looking at the sleeping woman, dreaming in the corner, then looking at her again. Two or three hours had passed. During that time Verhovensky and Liputin had been at Kirillov's. At last he, too, began to doze in the corner. He heard her groan; she waked up and called him; he jumped up like a criminal.
"Marie, I was dropping asleep.' … Ah, what a wretch I am, Marie!"
She sat up, looking about her with wonder, seeming not to recognise where she was, and suddenly leapt up in indignation and anger.
"I've taken your bed, I fell asleep so tired I didn't know what I was doing; how dared you not wake me? How could you dare imagine I meant to be a burden to you?"
"How could I wake you, Marie?"
"You could, you ought to have! You've no other bed here, and I've taken yours. You had no business to put me into a false position. Or do you suppose that I've come to take advantage of your charity? Kindly get into your bed at once and I'll lie down in the corner on some chairs."
"Marie, there aren't chairs enough, and there's nothing to put on them."
"Then simply oil the floor. Or you'll have to lie on the floor yourself. I want to lie on the floor at once, at once!"
She stood up, tried to take a step, but suddenly a violent spasm of pain deprived her of all power and all determination, and with a loud groan she fell back on the bed. Shatov ran up, but Marie, hiding her face in the pillow, seized his hand and gripped and squeezed it with all her might. This lasted a minute.
"Marie darling, there's a doctor Frenzel living here, a friend of mine… . I could run for him."
"Nonsense!"
"What do you mean by nonsense? Tell me, Marie, what is it hurting you? For we might try fomentations … on the stomach for instance… . I can do that without a doctor… . Or else mustard poultices."
"What's this," she asked strangely, raising her head and looking at him in dismay.
"What's what, Marie?" said Shatov, not understanding. "What are you asking about? Good heavens! I am quite bewildered, excuse my not understanding."
"Ach, let me alone; it's not your business to understand. And it would be too absurd … " she said with a bitter smile. "Talk to me about something. Walk about the room and talk. Don't stand over me and don't look at me, I particularly ask you that for the five-hundredth time!"
Shatov began walking up and down the room, looking at the floor, and doing his utmost not to glance at her.
"There'sdon't be angry, Marie, I entreat youthere's some veal here, and there's tea not far off… . You had so little before."
She made an angry gesture of disgust. Shatov bit his tongue in despair.
"Listen, I intend to open a bookbinding business here, on rational co-operative principles. Since you live here what do you think of it, would it be successful?"
"Ech, Marie, people don't read books here, and there are none here at all. And are they likely to begin binding them!"
"Who are they?"
"The local readers and inhabitants generally, Marie."
"Well, then, speak more clearly. They indeed, and one doesn't know who they are. You don't know grammar!"
"It's in the spirit of the language," Shatov muttered.
"Oh, get along with your spirit, you bore me. Why shouldn't the local inhabitant or reader have his books bound?"
"Because reading books and having them bound are two different stages of development, and there's a vast gulf between them. To begin with, a man gradually gets used to reading, in the course of ages of course, but takes no care of his books and throws them about, not thinking them worth attention. But binding implies respect for books, and implies that not only he has grown fond of reading, but that he looks upon it as something of value. That period has not been reached anywhere in Russia yet. In Europe books have been bound for a long while."
"Though that's pedantic, anyway, it's not stupid, and reminds me of the time three years ago; you used to be rather clever sometimes three years ago."
She said this as disdainfully as her other capricious remarks.
"Marie, Marie," said Shatov, turning to her, much moved, "oh, Marie! If you only knew how much has happened in those three years! I heard afterwards that you despised me for changing my convictions. But what are the men I've broken with? The enemies of all true life, out-of-date Liberals who are afraid of their own independence, the flunkeys of thought, the enemies of individuality and freedom, the decrepit advocates of deadness and rottenness! All they have to offer is senility, a glorious mediocrity of the most bourgeois kind, contemptible shallowness, a jealous equality, equality without individual dignity, equality as it's understood by flunkeys or by the French in '93. And the worst of it is there are swarms of scoundrels among them, swarms of scoundrels!"
"Yes, there are a lot of scoundrels," she brought out abruptly with painful effort. She lay stretched out, motionless, as though afraid to move, with her head thrown back on the pillow, rather on one side, staring at the ceiling with exhausted but glowing eyes. Her face was pale, her lips were dry and hot.
"You recognise it, Marie, you recognis
e it," cried Shatov. She tried to shake her head, and suddenly the same spasm came over her again. Again she hid her face in the pillow, and again for a full minute she squeezed .Shatov's hand till it hurt. He had run up, beside himself with alarm.
"Marie, Marie! But it may be very serious, Marie!"
"Be quiet … I won't have it, I won't have it," she screamed almost furiously, turning her face upwards again. "Don't dare to look at me with your sympathy! Walk about the room, say something, talk… ."
Shatov began muttering something again, like one distraught.
"What do you do here?" she asked, interrupting him with contemptuous impatience.
"I work in a merchant's office. I could get a fair amount of money even here if I cared to, Marie."
"So much the better for you… ."
"Oh, don't suppose I meant anything, Marie. I said it without thinking."
"And what do you do besides? What are you preaching? You can't exist without preaching, that's your character!"
"I am preaching God, Marie."
"In whom you don't believe yourself. I never could see the
idea of that."
"Let's leave that, Marie; we'll talk of that later."
"What sort of person was this Mary a Timofyevna here?"
"We'll talk of that later too, Marie."
"Don't dare to say such things to me! Is it true that her death may have been caused by … the wickedness … of these people?"
"Not a doubt of it," growled Shatov.
Marie suddenly raised her head and cried out painfully:
"Don't dare speak of that to me again, don't dare to, never,
never!"
And she fell back in bed again, overcome by the same convulsive agony; it was the third time, but this time her groans were louder, in fact she screamed.
"Oh, you insufferable man! Oh, you unbearable man," she cried, tossing about recklessly, and pushing away Shatov as he bent over her.
"Marie, I'll do anything you like … . I'll walk about and talk… ."
"Surely you must see that it has begun!"
"What's begun, Marie?"
"How can I tell! Do I know anything about it? … I curse myself! Oh, curse it all from the beginning!"
Poor Folk Anthology Page 259