Poor Folk Anthology

by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  Chapter 8

  1.

  All that night I dreamed of roulette, of play, of gold, and reckonings. I seemed in my dreams to be calculating something at the gambling table, some stake, some chance, and it oppressed me all night like a nightmare. To tell the truth, the whole of the previous day, in spite of all the startling impressions I had received, I had been continually thinking of the money I had won at Zerstchikov's. I suppressed the thought, but I could not suppress the emotion it aroused, and I quivered all over at the mere recollection of it. That success had put me in a fever; could it be that I was a gambler, or at least—to be more accurate—that I had the qualities of a gambler? Even now, at the time of writing this, I still at moments like thinking about play! It sometimes happens that I sit for hours together absorbed in silent calculations about gambling and in dreams of putting down my stake, of the number turning up, and of picking up my winnings. Yes, I have all sorts of "qualities," and my nature is not a tranquil one.

  At ten o'clock I intended to go to Stebelkov's and I meant to walk. I sent Matvey home as soon as he appeared. While I was drinking my coffee I tried to think over the position. For some reason I felt pleased; a moment's self-analysis made me realize that I was chiefly pleased because I was going that day to the old prince's. But that day was a momentous and startling one in my life, and it began at once with a surprise.

  At ten o'clock my door was flung wide open, and Tatyana Pavlovna flew in. There was nothing I expected less than a visit from her, and I jumped up in alarm on seeing her. Her face was ferocious, her manner was incoherent, and I daresay if she had been asked she could not have said why she had hastened to me. I may as well say at once, that she had just received a piece of news that had completely overwhelmed her, and she had not recovered from the first shock of it. The news overwhelmed me, too. She stayed, however, only half a minute, or perhaps a minute, but not more. She simply pounced upon me.

  "So this is what you've been up to!" she said, standing facing me and bending forward. "Ah, you young puppy! What have you done! What, you don't even know! Goes on drinking his coffee! Oh, you babbler, you chatterbox, oh, you imitation lover … boys like you are whipped, whipped, whipped!"

  "Tatyana Pavlovna, what has happened? What is the matter? Is mother? … "

  "You will know!" she shouted menacingly, ran out of the room—and was gone. I should certainly have run after her, but I was restrained by one thought, and that was not a thought but a vague misgiving: I had an inkling that of all her vituperation, "imitation lover" was the most significant phrase. Of course I could not guess what it meant, but I hastened out, that I might finish with Stebelkov and go as soon as possible to Nikolay Ivanitch.

  "The key to it all is there!" I thought instinctively.

  I can't imagine how he learned it, but Stebelkov already knew all about Anna Andreyevna down to every detail; I will not describe his conversation and his gestures, but he was in a state of enthusiasm, a perfect ecstasy of enthusiasm over this "masterstroke."

  "She is a person! Yes, she is a person!" he exclaimed. "Yes, that's not our way; here we sit still and do nothing, but as soon as she wants something of the best she takes it. She's an antique statue! She is an antique statue of Minerva, only she is walking about and wearing modern dress!"

  I asked him to come to business; this business was, as I had guessed, solely to ask me to persuade and induce Prince Sergay to appeal to Prince Nikolay Ivanitch for a loan. "Or it will be a very very bad look-out for him, though it's none of my doing; that's so, isn't it?"

  He kept peeping into my face, but I fancy did not detect that I knew anything more than the day before. And indeed he could not have imagined it: I need hardly say that I did not by word or hint betray that I knew anything about the forged documents.

  Our explanations did not take long, he began at once promising me money, "and a considerable sum, a considerable sum, if only you will manage that the prince should go. The matter is urgent, very urgent, and that's the chief point that the matter's so pressing!"

  I did not want to argue and wrangle with him, as I had done the day before, and I got up to go, though to be on the safe side I flung him in reply that "I would try"; but he suddenly amazed me beyond all expression: I was on my way to the door when all at once he put his arm round my waist affectionately and began talking to me in the most incomprehensible way.

  I will omit the details of the conversation that I may not be wearisome. The upshot of it was that he made me a proposition that I should introduce him to M. Dergatchev, "since you go there!"

  I instantly became quiet, doing my utmost not to betray myself by the slightest gesture. I answered at once, however, that I was quite a stranger there, and though I had been in the house, it was only on one occasion, by chance.

  "But if you've been ADMITTED once, you might go a second time; isn't that so?"

  I asked him point-blank, and with great coolness, why he wanted it? And to this day I can't understand such a degree of simplicity in a man who was apparently no fool, and who was a "business man," as Vassin had said of him! He explained to me quite openly that he suspected "that something prohibited and sternly prohibited was going on at Dergatchev's, and so if I watch him I may very likely make something by it." And with a grin he winked at me with his left eye.

  I made no definite answer, but pretended to be considering it and promised to "think about it," and with that I went hastily away. The position was growing more complicated: I flew to Vassin, and at once found him at home.

  "What, you … too!" he said enigmatically on seeing me. Without inquiring the significance of this phrase, I went straight to the point and told him what had happened. He was evidently impressed, though he remained absolutely cool. He cross-examined me minutely.

  "It may very well be that you misunderstood him."

  "No, I quite understood him, his meaning was quite clear."

  "In any case I am extremely grateful to you," he added with sincerity. "Yes, indeed, if that is so, he imagined that you could not resist a certain sum of money."

  "And, besides, he knows my position: I've been playing all this time, and behaving badly, Vassin."

  "I have heard about that."

  "What puzzles me most of all is that he knows you go there constantly, too," I ventured to observe.

  "He knows perfectly well," Vassin answered quite simply, "that I don't go there with any object. And indeed all those young people are simply chatterers, nothing more; you have reason to remember that as well as anyone."

  I fancied that he did not quite trust me.

  "In any case I am very much obliged to you."

  "I have heard that M. Stebelkov's affairs are in rather a bad way," I tried to question him once more. "I've heard, anyway, of certain shares … "

  "What shares have you heard about?"

  I mentioned "the shares" on purpose, but of course not with the idea of telling him the secret Prince Sergay had told me the day before. I only wanted to drop a hint and see from his face, from his eyes, whether he knew anything about "shares." I attained my object: from a momentary indefinable change in his face, I guessed that he did perhaps know something in this matter, too. I did not answer his question "what shares," I was silent; and it was worth noting that he did not pursue the subject either.

  "How's Lizaveta Makarovna?" he inquired with sympathetic interest.

  "She's quite well. My sister has always thought very highly of you… ."

  There was a gleam of pleasure in his eyes; I had guessed long before that he was not indifferent to Liza.

  "Prince Sergay Petrovitch was here the other day," he informed me suddenly.

  "When?" I cried.

  "Just four days ago."

  "Not yesterday?"

  "No, not yesterday." He looked at me inquiringly. "Later perhaps I may describe our meeting more fully, but for the moment I feel I must warn you," Vassin said mysteriously, "that he struck me as being in an abnormal condition of mind, and …
of brain indeed. I had another visit, however," he added suddenly with a smile, "just before you came, and I was driven to the same conclusion about that visitor, too."

  "Has Prince Sergay just been here?"

  "No, not Prince Sergay, I am not speaking of the prince just now. Andrey Petrovitch Versilov has just been here, and … you've heard nothing? Hasn't something happened to him?"

  "Perhaps something has; but what passed between you exactly?" I asked hurriedly.

  "Of course, I ought to keep it secret … we are talking rather queerly, with too much reserve," he smiled again. "Andrey Petrovitch, however, did not tell me to keep it secret. But you are his son, and as I know your feelings for him, I believe I may be doing right to warn you. Only fancy, he came to me to ask the question: 'In case it should be necessary for him very shortly, in a day or two, to fight a duel, would I consent to be his second?' I refused absolutely, of course."

  I was immensely astonished; this piece of news was the most disturbing of all: something was wrong, something had turned up, something had happened of which I knew nothing as yet! I suddenly recalled in a flash how Versilov had said to me the day before: "I shan't come to you, but you'll come running to me."

  I rushed off to Prince Nikolay Ivanitch, feeling more than ever that the key to the mystery lay there. As he said good-bye, Vassin thanked me again.

  2.

  The old prince was sitting before an open fire with a rug wrapped round his legs. He met me with an almost questioning air, as though he were surprised that I had come; yet almost every day he had sent messages inviting me. He greeted me affectionately, however. But his answers to my first questions sounded somewhat reluctant, and were fearfully vague. At times he seemed to deliberate, and looked intently at me, as though forgetting and trying to recall something which certainly ought to be connected with me. I told him frankly that I had heard everything and was very glad. A cordial and good-natured smile came into his face at once and his spirits rose; his mistrust and caution vanished at once as though he had forgotten them. And indeed he had, of course.

  "My dear young friend, I knew you would be the first to come, and, and do you know, I thought about you yesterday: 'Who will be pleased? he will!' Well, no one else will indeed; but that doesn't matter. People are spiteful gossips, but that's no great matter… . Cher enfant, this is so exalted and so charming… . But, of course, you know her well. And Anna Andreyevna has the highest opinion of you. It's a grave and charming face out of an English keepsake. It's the most charming English engraving possible… . Two years ago I had a regular collection of such engravings… . I always had the intention, always; I only wonder why it was I never thought of it."

  "You always, if I remember rightly, distinguished Anna Andreyevna and were fond of her."

  "My dear boy, we don't want to hurt anyone. Life with one's friends, with one's relations, with those dear to one's heart is paradise. All the poets… . In short, it has been well known from prehistoric times. In the summer you know we are going to Soden, and then to Bad-Gastein. But what a long time it is since you've been to see me, my dear boy; what's been the matter with you? I've been expecting you. And how much, how much has happened meanwhile, hasn't it? I am only sorry that I am uneasy; as soon as I am alone I feel uneasy. That is why I must not be left alone, must I? That's as plain as twice two make four. I understood that at once from her first word. Oh, my dear boy, she only spoke two words, but … it was something like a glorious poem. But, of course, you are her brother, almost her brother, aren't you? My dear boy, it's not for nothing I'm so fond of you! I swear I had a presentiment of all this. I kissed her hand and wept."

  He took out his handkerchief as though preparing to weep again. He was violently agitated, suffering, I fancy, from one of his "nervous attacks," and one of the worst I remember in the whole course of our acquaintance. As a rule, almost always in fact, he was ever so much better and more good-humoured.

  "I would forgive everything, my dear boy," he babbled on. "I long to forgive every one, and it's a long time since I was angry with anyone. Art, la poésie dans la vie, philanthropy, and she, a biblical beauty, quelle charmante person, eh? Les chants de Salomon … non, c'est n'est pas Salomon, c'est David qui mettait une jeune belle dans son lit pour se chauffer dans sa vieillesse. Enfin David, Salomon, all that keeps going round in my head—a regular jumble. Everything, cher enfant may be at the same time grand and ridiculous. Cette jeune belle de la vieillesse de David— c'est tout un poème, and Paul de Kock would have made of it a scène de bassinoire, and we should all have laughed. Paul de Kook has neither taste nor sense of proportion, though he is a writer of talent … Katerina Nikolaevna smiles … I said that we would not trouble anyone. We have begun our romance and only ask them to let us finish it. Maybe it is a dream, but don't let them rob me of this dream."

  "How do you mean it's a dream, prince?"

  "A dream? How a dream? Well, let it be a dream, but let me die with that dream."

  "Oh, why talk of dying, prince? You have to live now, only to live!"

  "Why, what did I say? That's just what I keep saying. I simply can't understand why life is so short. To avoid being tedious, no doubt, for life, too, is the Creator's work of art, in a perfect and irreproachable form like a poem of Pushkin's. Brevity is the first essential of true art. But if anyone is not bored, he ought to be allowed to live longer."

  "Tell me, prince, is it public property yet?"

  "No, my dear boy, certainly not! We have all agreed upon that. It's private, private, private. So far I've only disclosed it fully to Katerina Nikolaevna, because I felt I was being unfair to her. Oh, Katerina Nikolaevna is an angel, she is an angel!"

  "Yes, yes!"

  "Yes, and you say 'yes'? Why, I thought that you were her enemy, too. Ach, by the way, she asked me not to receive you any more. And only fancy, when you came in I quite forgot it."

  "What are you saying?" I cried, jumping up. "Why? Where?"

  (My presentiment had not deceived me; I had had a presentiment of something of this sort ever since Tatyana's visit.)

  "Yesterday, my dear boy, yesterday. I don't understand, in fact, how you got in, for orders were given. How did you come in?"

  "I simply walked in."

  "The surest way. If you had tried to creep in by stealth, no doubt they would have caught you, but as you simply walked in they let you pass. Simplicity, cher enfant, is in reality the deepest cunning."

  "I don't understand: did you, too, decide not to receive me, then!"

  "No, my dear boy, I said I had nothing to do with it… . That is I gave my full consent. And believe me, my dear boy, I am much too fond of you. But Katerina Nikolaevna insisted so very strongly… . So, there it is!"

  At that instant Katerina Nikolaevna appeared in the doorway. She was dressed to go out, and as usual came in to kiss her father. Seeing me she stopped short in confusion, turned quickly, and went out.

  "Voilà!" cried the old prince, impressed and much disturbed.

  "It's a misunderstanding!" I cried. "One moment … I … I'll come back to you directly, prince!"

  And I ran after Katerina Nikolaevna.

  All that followed upon this happened so quickly that I had no time to reflect, or even to consider in the least how to behave. If I had had time to consider, I should certainly have behaved differently! But I lost my head like a small boy. I was rushing towards her room, but on the way a footman informed me that Katerina Nikolaevna had already gone downstairs and was getting into her carriage. I rushed headlong down the front staircase. Katerina Nikolaevna was descending the stairs, in her fur coat, and beside her—or rather arm-in-arm with her—walked a tall and severe-looking officer, wearing a uniform and a sword, and followed by a footman carrying his great-coat. This was the baron, who was a colonel of five-and-thirty, a typical smart officer, thin, with rather too long a face, ginger moustache and even eyelashes of the same colour. Though his face was quite ugly, it had a resolute and defiant expression. I describe
him briefly, as I saw him at that moment. I had never seen him before. I ran down the stairs after them without a hat or coat. Katerina Nikolaevna was the first to notice me, and she hurriedly whispered something to her companion. He slightly turned his head and then made a sign to the footman and the hall-porter. The footman took a step towards me at the front door, but I pushed him away and rushed after them out on the steps. Büring was assisting Katerina Nikolaevna into the carriage.

  "Katerina Nikolaevna! Katerina Nikolaevna!" I cried senselessly like a fool! like a fool! Oh, I remember it all; I had no hat on!

  Büring turned savagely to the footman again and shouted something to him loudly, one or two words, I did not take them in. I felt some one clutch me by the elbow. At that moment the carriage began to move; I shouted again and was rushing after the carriage. I saw that Katerina Nikolaevna was peeping out of the carriage window, and she seemed much perturbed. But in my hasty movement I jostled against Büring unconsciously, and trod on his foot, hurting him a good deal, I fancy. He uttered a faint cry, clenched his teeth, with a powerful hand grasped me by the shoulder, and angrily pushed me away, so that I was sent flying a couple of yards. At that instant his great-coat was handed him, he put it on, got into his sledge, and once more shouted angrily to the footman and the porter, pointing to me as he did so. Thereupon they seized me and held me; one footman flung my great-coat on me, while a second handed me my hat and—I don't remember what they said; they said something, and I stood and listened, understanding nothing of it. All at once I left them and ran away.

  3.

  Seeing nothing and jostling against people as I went, I ran till I reached Tatyana Pavlovna's flat: it did not even occur to me to take a cab. Büring had pushed me away before her eyes! I had, to be sure, stepped on his foot, and he had thrust me away instinctively as a man who had trodden on his corn—and perhaps I really had trodden on his corn! But she had seen it, and had seen me seized by the footman; it had all happened before her, before her! When I had reached Tatyana Pavlovna's, for the first minute I could say nothing and my lower jaw was trembling, as though I were in a fever. And indeed I was in a fever and what's more I was crying… . Oh, I had been so insulted!