The Village Nurse's Happy-Ever-After

by Abigail Gordon

  ‘Yes, I know that’s what you said,’ he agreed, accepting her obvious reluctance to talk to him. ‘Goodnight Phoebe.’

  ‘Goodnight,’ she said tonelessly as he turned away.

  The ‘bathtime’ that she’d been hammering home was over. Marcus’s eyelids were drooping, and as she wandered restlessly around the apartment, Phoebe was desperate to talk to someone she could trust. Who better than her sister who had already been her rock once before?

  ‘So who is this guy?’ Katie croaked in surprise when she’d finished explaining.

  ‘Harry has taken Ethan’s place at the practice, and for the first time in my life I’m so in love I can’t think straight,’ she told her. ‘He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man.’

  ‘So do you think you’re going to get married, then?’

  ‘Er…no. The attraction is mutual, but the love is all on my side. He is a widower who lost his wife in a dreadful accident in Australia and doesn’t want to tread that path again.

  ‘Obviously he will have to know that I’m pregnant and that I will expect some support from him, but wedding bells are not on the agenda. It would be for the wrong reason, however much I love him. I’m leaving Bluebell Cove and am looking for a job elsewhere, so if you hear of anything…’

  ‘Will you have to work out your notice?’

  ‘Yes, unless they find someone to replace me immediately.’

  ‘So come and stay with us when you’ve finished there. You know we love having you, and I’m longing to see how much Marcus has grown.’

  ‘Thanks for the offer, Katie,’ she told her. ‘I’ll bear it in mind, and give my love to Rob.’

  ‘My sister wants me to go and live with her and her husband up north,’ she told Janet Crosbie, the middle-aged practice manager, the next morning, when Harry was ensconced with his first patient of the day. The rest of the staff had dispersed after their early morning tea, leaving just the two of them in the kitchen.

  ‘I’m undecided what to do, but did wonder how much notice I would have to work if I took her up on the offer. I suppose it would depend on how quickly a replacement could be found, wouldn’t it?’

  Janet was smiling. ‘Yes, it would normally,’ she replied, ‘but not in this instance. I know someone who is looking for a position of district nurse locally and would fit in here very nicely…my daughter!

  ‘Bethany and her husband have just moved into the area and that was her job where they lived before. Their two young ones have been accepted into the village school and they are all eager to settle permanently in Bluebell Cove. So you could go whenever you wish, but Phoebe please don’t feel as if I’m pushing you!’

  ‘I don’t,’ she told her, ‘but what you’ve just told me simplifies things, although I haven’t yet decided what to do. It is very important that I don’t make the wrong decision, and, Janet, please don’t say anything to Harry or the rest of the staff about me leaving, will you? You’ll be the first to know when I’ve made up my mind. Now, I suppose I should get moving or he will be thinking that no one requires my services and that would be a first!’

  It would be helpful if she could leave without any fuss or palaver while Harry was in Australia, she thought as she drove towards Hannah Trescott’s cottage. But how she wished it hadn’t come to this!

  She’d told Janet she was undecided what to do, but it wasn’t strictly true. From the moment of discovering she was carrying Harry’s child, she’d known she had to leave the village. When she went, she would leave him a letter explaining about her pregnancy and making it clear that there would be no denying him an active part in the life of their child, but not as the family that he had no taste for.

  For the next two weeks she was going to keep a low profile where he was concerned, making sure he didn’t pick up on her condition or get too close so that all her resolve flew out of the window by just being near him. Then it would be a case of facing up to the future as a single mother with two children. She was going to accept Katie’s invitation to stay with her and Rob, but only until she’d found a job and a place to live, and that was as far as she could think for now.

  There was no knock on the door that evening. Harry had gone to dine with the Balfours at the close of the surgery, and if he hadn’t already arranged to do that, the tepid reception he’d received the night before would have made him think twice.

  Yet he had actually managed to have a conversation with Phoebe in the late afternoon, though it was work related. She’d sought him out to tell him that she was almost sure she’d seen a young boy with rickets while on her rounds.

  ‘Rickets!’ he’d exclaimed. ‘It’s an illness from a bygone age, or at least it used to be. But I do remember seeing a piece in one of the medical journals about it becoming prevalent among youngsters who spend hours in front of the television in one position. Due to their obsession with it, they don’t get enough fresh air and sunlight.’

  ‘It’s a vitamin D deficiency, isn’t it?’ she’d said.

  ‘Yes, basically caused by a lack of it in the foods they eat, plus not enough sun and too little exercise. So where did you come across this child? It wasn’t him that you’d gone to visit, was it?’

  ‘No. I’d gone to see his grandmother. She has a regular injection every month and is too old and frail to get to the surgery for it.’

  ‘So who is it that we’re discussing?’

  ‘The child is Oscar, Jasmine Jackson’s eldest.’

  He groaned. ‘Oh, no, not one of Jasmine’s brood. I remember her well from before I went away. How many little Jacksons do we have now?’

  ‘Six. Three girls, three boys.’

  ‘Did you mention rickets to her?

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘She said she’d heard that you were back and maybe you’d call round to see Oscar and have a chat about old times. Does she have a husband?’

  ‘Yes, he’s a farmhand with fists like sledgehammers,’ he said laughingly. ‘If she wants to see me, she can bring her child to the surgery and I’ll want witnesses present, but what made you think of rickets when you saw the youngster?’

  ‘There was bowing of the legs and enlarged wrists and ankles. Whenever I go to give the old lady her injection Oscar is always huddled in a chair, watching television.’

  ‘Yes, but surely he’s of school age. Why is he not there? Don’t tell me that Jasmine lets him play truant.’

  ‘I don’t know about that, you would have to ask her, but it is my last call of the day when I see him, so he might have already been to school. From what I can see, all Jasmine’s children watch TV quite a lot but, then, so do most children. Oscar is the only one showing signs of rickets, though.’

  ‘Yes, well, we’ll have a look at young Oscar and see what is going on. Ask one of the receptionists to give Jasmine a call and make an appointment for her to bring the boy to see me, will you, Phoebe?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, her mind elsewhere.

  He was observing her thoughtfully. ‘You’re miles away. What’s wrong?’

  As if he didn’t know, she thought. Everything was wrong, and what on earth had possessed her to ask if the woman they’d been discussing had a husband?

  He was waiting for an answer so she gave him one, but again she was avoiding the truth. ‘Nothing is wrong. I’m fine,’ she told him, and made a speedy exit from his consulting room before he found any more awkward questions to confront her with.

  When she’d gone, Harry’s thoughts switched to the coming ordeal. He would be flying out to Australia in ten days’ time and returning one week later. As well as the inquest, there were a few loose ends that he needed to tie up while he was there.

  Yet he didn’t like the idea of Leo being the only doctor at the practice while he was away, but the other man was emphatic that they would be able to manage without him for that short space of time.

  Leo had spoken to him the other day regarding his apartment if he moved to Glades Manor. ‘I’ve been v
ery comfortable at Meredith’s guest house,’ he’d said, ‘but I’m ready to move into something more permanent when the opportunity arises.’

  ‘Who told you I’m thinking of buying the place?’ he’d asked, and the fair-haired six-footer who always seemed to hit the right note with the opposite sex—which was more than he could say for himself these days!—had explained that Lucy had seen the estate agent showing him round when she’d been out walking her dog.

  ‘I see,’ he’d said. ‘I wondered if it was Phoebe who had told you as she knows about my interest in Glades Manor. She once came across me up there while she was pushing Marcus out in his buggy, yet I can’t imagine her being into surgery gossip.’

  ‘She isn’t,’ Leo had assured him. ‘Phoebe is a very private person; we don’t see that much of her here. She no sooner appears than she’s gone.’

  Tell me about it, he’d thought groaning inwardly, I’m to blame for that. As he had patients waiting, he’d told Leo, ‘If I buy the manor house, you can have my apartment with pleasure. I would expect that it’s the only one of the two likely to become vacant. I’ll make sure that Janet, as practice manager, gives you first choice, but nothing has been settled about Glades Manor as yet.’

  He was in the process of buying the property but hadn’t yet exchanged contracts on it. That would happen around the time he got back from Australia and it would have been a marvellous moment if Phoebe and Marcus had still been part of his life. But he knew who was to blame for that, and it wasn’t them.

  After the way he’d treated her he was going to be rattling around the place with his dreams shattered. He’d imagined Marcus playing in the gardens and the fields around it, sleeping safe and sound in one of the sun-washed bedrooms, with Phoebe close beside him when he went to sleep, and there when he awoke in what would have no longer been his lonely bed. But all of that would have meant commitment, relying on others and them relying on him. He’d given Phoebe reason to believe he wasn’t able to offer that, and had been paying the emotional price ever since.

  Jasmine and young Oscar came to see him the following morning after Phoebe had roused his interest in a possible rickets situation. When he’d examined the boy, his expression was grave. ‘Nurse Howard was right, Jasmine,’ he said. ‘Your boy lacks vitamin D, which can affect healthy growth in a child.

  ‘He’s got rickets. I’m going to send him for X-rays to confirm my findings, and in the meantime increase his intake of the vitamin, make sure he has plenty of oily fish and foods that contain animal fats in his diet. Also see to it that he gets out in the sun more as sunshine can help his intake of vitamin D, and for goodness’ sake limit his television watching! He should be getting exercise at his age, out kicking a ball around.’

  ‘All right!’ she cried. ‘You want to try coping with six of them on a farmhand’s wage and with only twenty-four hours in a day.’

  ‘What I’m suggesting is for Oscar’s own good,’ he told her. ‘Sunlight and exercise cost nothing, and if you give all the family the same food it shouldn’t cost any more. Also I’m going to give you a vitamin D supplement for him to take.’

  She sighed. ‘I suppose you’re right.’

  ‘I am right. I’m a doctor, Jasmine, and what your son has got was almost unheard of until recently. It belonged to past generations living in hard times. With regard to the X-rays, you should receive an appointment in the next few days and once the results have come through I’ll want to see Oscar again.’

  ‘Yes, okay,’ she replied, and paused in the doorway. ‘You were fun in the old days, Harry. Who’s taken the joy out of you?’

  He didn’t reply, just rolled his eyes heavenwards and called in his next patient. Yet what the sassy Jasmine had said had gone home. If Phoebe was going to continue keeping him on the fringes of her life, joyless was how he was going to stay.

  Jasmine’s visit had one redeeming feature: it provided him with a reason to talk to Phoebe again when she came back at four o’clock. As soon as she appeared, he called her into his consulting room.

  ‘I’ve had young Oscar and his mother here,’ he said when she’d closed the door behind her. ‘And you weren’t wrong about the rickets. I’m sending him for X-rays, of course, but have no doubt in my mind about what the results will be.

  ‘She was angry at the inference of neglect on her part, and wanted to know how I would like six kids to look after. I refrained from telling her that I would need a lot of practice. When she’d gone, after telling me what a joyless creature I have become, it crossed my mind that you might want to second her on that.’

  ‘So that’s what this is about, is it? Why you’ve brought me in here,’ she said wearily as exhaustion washed over her. ‘To find out what is going on in my mind? I’m wondering what you think gives you the right to ask. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to pick Marcus up or Beth will think I’ve got lost.’

  He was observing her pallor. She was white, gaunt almost, with dark shadows beneath her eyes. The pale perfection of her skin that had been the first thing he’d noticed about her was submerged beneath weariness and he said, ‘I’ve just one patient to see. If you can hang on for a few moments longer, I’ll go and get him.’

  ‘No, thanks just the same,’ she told him. ‘Marcus is my responsibility.’

  ‘You are still punishing me for pushing you away, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes, if that is what you choose to think,’ was her parting shot as she went to collect her child. It had been on the tip of her tongue to tell Harry that when it came to punishment she knew what it was all about. She was giving up her job, a life in this idyllic village, and about to take on twice as much responsibility as she had now, all because he wasn’t ready to open his heart to love and family, and that was hard enough to cope with on its own.

  In a sick sort of way, she was counting the days to him going to Australia so that she could depart, quietly and without fuss, for the next stage of her existence.

  She rang Katie when Marcus was asleep to let her know what she was planning to do and explained that she was going to accept the invitation to stay with them until she’d found a job and a place of her own, and then she would move on.

  ‘I can’t imagine how you are feeling about all this,’ her sister said, ‘but whether this guy loves you or not, don’t you think you should tell him now that you’re having his baby? Every day that goes by without him knowing will make it more hurtful for him when he does find out. If he’s already beginning to bond with Marcus, as you say, he might be over the moon when he hears about this one.’

  ‘Yes, I know,’ she protested, ‘but there is one thing you’re forgetting—he isn’t in love with me. I thought he was but he isn’t, and would only be interested in taking me on as part of the package for the baby’s sake. I am not prepared to let that happen.

  ‘I’ll be leaving Bluebell Cove in ten days’ time, the day after Harry has gone to Australia for the inquest into his wife’s death. The move shouldn’t be too hectic as the apartment is kept fully furnished by the practice. It will just be a matter of packing clothes and toys belonging to Marcus, getting into the car and driving off early in the morning before the village is awake or in the evening when the light has gone.’

  ‘And you say you’re going to leave him a letter telling him about the baby?

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Will it explain where you can be found?’

  ‘No. I will tell him where I am in a few weeks’ time when I feel ready to face up to it. If I see Harry too soon after I’ve made the break, I might lose the determination to go through with it. He only needs to touch me and I melt, but it would seem that I don’t have the same effect on him. I have to keep telling myself this—I am not going to marry any man who doesn’t love me as much as he loves my children.’

  ‘One of them will be his as well, don’t forget,’ Katie reminded her.

  ‘As if I could.’ The thought was engraved on her mind in a mixture of joy and dismay. ‘A friend from the Lon
don bank phoned me the other night to inform me that Darren has married the chairman’s daughter. They are expecting their first child and he is over the moon. It’s a strange world, isn’t it?’ And with her glance on Marcus, playing happily with his toys on the carpet beside her. ‘I have no regrets. If I hadn’t left Darren I would never have met Harry. Meeting him has turned my life upside down, but I won’t ever forget him.

  ‘The problem with us is that when we met, we both had hurtful pasts. But where I’ve coped with mine, difficult as it was, there are unhappy areas of his childhood that still haunt him. Several times he has made it clear that he wouldn’t want to risk any child of his having to experience what he did.

  ‘So how Harry is going to feel when he knows he’s made me pregnant I can’t imagine, but one thing is sure—we can’t go on as we are. I haven’t been able to convince him that all families aren’t like his, neglecting the one child that they’ve still got because they’ve lost another younger one. I couldn’t see you or I doing that in those circumstances, could you?’

  ‘Definitely not,’ was the immediate reply. ‘We would have been even more loving and protective of the remaining child.’

  But that hadn’t been Harry’s experience, and that was why Phoebe knew she had to leave—because he had no happy memories of family life.

  CHAPTER NINE

  SPRING was everywhere in Bluebell Cove as Harry prepared to fly to Australia and Phoebe made ready to move up north. Blossom was on the trees, surfers were in the sea, which was now blue instead of winter’s cold grey, and on the beach families picnicked and frolicked with their children to an even greater degree as each day came and went. Every time Phoebe looked around her, the ache inside increased.

  She hadn’t done anything about antenatal care as yet, there seemed no point. Better to wait until she’d moved and could register at a clinic near where Katie and Rob lived.

  Harry and herself were both counting the days to misery, she thought, him having to present himself at the inquest in Australia and her rootless and forlorn, moving on into an exile that Harry had given her no choice but to impose on herself.