Not for a Moment

by Nadirah Foxx

  “No, thanks.”

  Our girls’-night-out ritual had suffered because of Leo too. Hanging out at a bar scared me. Not because I feared meeting strangers. I feared running into Leo again. What was stopping him from using a disguise and stalking me?

  Crystal frowned. “What can I do for you? I hate seeing you like this.”

  “Help me find closure,” I pleaded.

  “How?”

  I slipped from beneath the covers and sat on the side of the bed. “Leo claimed to live in the same apartment complex. I want to see his apartment. Maybe there are clues the cops missed.”

  She pulled out her phone. “Let me contact Scott. Get dressed, and we’ll go over there.”

  ∞∞∞

  An hour later, Scott met us at the apartment. My former landlord, only too happy to help in a police investigation, let us into Leo’s unit.

  The place looked deserted and smelled like a trash dump. Pizza boxes and beer bottles were piled in the corners. A dilapidated desk was in the middle of the floor. On a far wall, the plaster was cracked as if someone had punched a hole. Nothing in that living room suggested someone lived there. It was more like an abandoned office space.

  While Scott checked out the kitchen, Crystal and I walked back to the bedroom, and found nothing but a bare mattress.

  Crystal tugged open the closet door and gasped. “Oh shit! Girl, you have to see this.”

  I rushed over, and my heart—what was left of it—froze. The interior was covered with pictures of me dating back to high school.

  “Scott!” Crystal ran from the room.

  From what I saw, it appeared Leo had been watching me for years. Photos of me with Matt—intimate pictures—proved the man had been monitoring us too. Something on the floor caught my eye. When I bent down to investigate, I saw it was a postcard from California. I quickly pocketed it before Scott and Crystal entered the room.

  “What the fuck!” Scott exclaimed. “Don’t touch any of these. I have to call in a team.”

  A team wouldn’t help me, but an airline ticket would.

  ∞∞∞

  Dad came into the bedroom as I packed my suitcase. “You sure about this?”

  “I am. Don’t you think I’ve earned some time away?”

  “I do, but maybe you should take someone with you.”

  Flashing a smile at him, I said, “I’m a big girl, Dad. I’ll only be gone for a week. You can call me anytime you want.”

  After everything I’d been through, a getaway seemed like an easy decision. I refused to stay confined in my bedroom, wearing pajamas one more day.

  “Crystal has a friend who’ll help us find a bigger house.”

  “I don’t want—”

  “Dad, I don’t plan on moving away from you. We’ll be happier in a bigger place.”

  “Your mother…” His voice trailed off.

  As much as I wanted to keep the truth from him, Dad had to know. “Sit down for a minute.”

  His forehead creased.

  “Please.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I pushed my luggage to the side and sat down next to him. “There’s something you should know about Mom.”

  “What?” Fear slipped into his voice.

  Blowing air through my cheeks, I summoned up the courage. “Leo told me that he killed her.”

  A shuddering sigh escaped Dad’s lips. “He said what?”

  “He told me how it happened.” My mind drifted back to that night, but I wouldn’t repeat Leo’s confession. “He told me every damned detail.”

  Dad lowered his head. “Why? Why did he do it?”

  “He claimed that he wanted to see me.” I grasped Dad’s hand. “I swear that I didn’t know Leo before he killed Mom. I met him about a month after the funeral.”

  Dad squeezed my hand and said firmly, “I would never think you had anything to do with your mother’s death. Never.”

  We sat there in silence for a few minutes. I listened to the ticking of the grandfather clock downstairs. As time stretched out, my anger for Leo grew. He’d taken so much from me—my mother, my peace of mind, even the man I still cared about. I was done with him stealing from my life.

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah, sunshine.”

  “Leo will pay for his crimes. I promise you.”

  “I’d like to believe that, but I don’t. Some crooks never get caught.”

  “This one will.”

  ∞∞∞

  While eating dinner, Dad turned on the news. Unfortunately, we caught the broadcast during a breaking news report.

  Breaking news… Former Detroit police officer, Matthew Wallace, was found dead in his cell about an hour ago. Details of his death are still coming in.

  I heard nothing else. Matt dying in prison was my biggest fear. He knew he wouldn’t make it out of there alive. I’d hoped he was wrong.

  ∞∞∞

  The next morning I booked my flight to California and reserved a hotel room. As I logged off the computer, someone knocked on the front door. Dad had left with Richard, so I shuffled to answer it.

  I was shocked to see Matt’s lawyer on the porch. “Can I help you?”

  “May I come in?”

  “Sure.” I opened the door and stepped to one side. “What’s this about?”

  The man sat on the sofa, placed his briefcase on the coffee table, and popped it open. “This is regarding Mr. Wallace. He made you the executor for his estate.” The lawyer shook his head. “Forgive my manners. My condolences to you.”

  Absently, I nodded as I sat on the chair. “Matt had an estate?”

  The lawyer flipped open a file folder. “Not much. A little savings account and a few investments. He left that money to you. He also wanted you to handle his burial arrangements. Mr. Wallace requested to be cremated.”

  I took the offered folder from the man. Was this what Matt meant when he said his lawyer would be in touch?

  My heart hurt, but I had to know the truth. “Can you tell me how Matt died?”

  “An inmate stabbing. Once Mr. Wallace was removed from solitary, it was only a matter of time.”

  My hands shook. Matt deserved better.

  The lawyer closed his case and stood. “Everything you must know is in the file. If you have questions, my card is inside. I’ll see myself out.”

  I barely acknowledged the man as I flipped through the contents. At the back of the file was an envelope. I ripped it open only to find a short letter.

  Dear Rachel,

  I realize it will seem unfair of me to burden you with this after what you’ve been through. Unlike you, I didn’t hold out hope for a good outcome. If you’re reading this, it only means that an inmate got to me.

  My lawyer has provided you with my final wishes. I didn’t have much of a life outside of being a cop. I saved up some money and made a few investments, thinking of my future. Whatever I had is yours now.

  Sell the car and keep the proceeds. As of matter of fact, sell everything I had. Keep whatever you want. I only ask that you set up a fund in my name. I’m not sure what it should be called, but it must benefit victims of abuse. Nobody should go through what April did. Nobody should endure the harsh treatment I gave you either.

  I also want something established to help kids in foster care. They should know their parents regardless of the circumstance. Men like Allen Patterson shouldn’t get away with crime—not telling us that he was our father was a crime. That man could have helped me avoid the miserable life I led. Leo might have been a better person if he’d known the truth sooner.

  Speaking of Leo… Don’t be fooled by his charm. The man is dangerous. I suspect he may have harmed many women in his lifetime. Do whatever you need to get him convicted, but be careful. Always be careful. Remember what I told you—not for a moment should you let your guard down.

  So this is it. If I had lived… If we had met under different circumstances, I am certain that you would have helped me be a better man. God, I
do love you!

  Rachel, I wish you only the best that life has to offer. May you find a man deserving of you.

  I sniffed as I folded the paper. It wasn’t fair. None of it was, but it was up to me to make things right.

  40

  Honoring Wishes

  Rachel

  I postponed my trip to the West Coast in order to honor Matt’s final wishes. Crystal was a big help with the funeral arrangements. She took care of the cremation and even arranged a small memorial ceremony with the few people left who still loved him.

  Honestly, I think many of them only came out to make sure a convicted killer was truly dead. It sickened me every time I heard someone utter the words, good riddance.

  The one person I didn’t expect—Matt and Leo’s uncle—came to the funeral home. The man was a perfect blend of his nephews—tall with a brooding appearance, dark hair, and stormy eyes. He extended his hand.

  “Please forgive me. I thought I was doing the right thing. Now I see it was the worst solution for my nephews,” he admitted.

  Pushing my shoulders back, I held my chin high. “Forgiveness is earned. An apology won’t bring Matt back to us.”

  He nodded and walked on.

  Crystal didn’t say a word. She simply put her arm around my shoulders. As far as I was concerned, it was a little too late for the man to make amends. If words could change the situation, I’d implore God to reconsider and resurrect Matt.

  ∞∞∞

  It took me a few days to get over the shock of his death. As soon as I was able, I put aside my grief and carried out the rest of Matt’s requests. He wanted me to move on with my life, not mourn him forever. As difficult as that would be, I trusted in my inherent strength. I wasn’t some damsel-in-distress who shied away from a challenge. Matt knew I could handle his death. It was time I believed it.

  One of Matt’s final wishes was to attend one more hockey game. When I mentioned it to Dad, he thought I’d lost my mind. So I went to Scott. He understood and secured tickets. A night later, the four of us—Dad included—took Matt’s urn to a Red Wings game. After the event, we scattered his ashes over the Detroit River near Andiamo’s Restaurant—the site of our first date.

  The next night, Matt wanted us to remember the things we did with him. A chance to celebrate his life. Scott said Matt enjoyed going to Greektown. So the three of us spent the evening walking around and talking about the man we knew and loved. We even spent some time at the casino, playing games in Matt’s memory. Afterward, we went for dinner at Pegasus Taverna—another memorable spot for Matt and me.

  When Scott went to the bathroom, Crystal asked, “How are you holding up?”

  I gave her a thin smile. Actually, I was good. Better than I thought I’d be, considering everything. “I’ll survive. It’s been a rough few days, but I regret none of it. The letter helped a lot.”

  Crystal’s forehead creased. “Letter?”

  “Sorry, girl. I forgot to tell you about it.” Believe it or not, I carried it with me.

  Crystal listened as I read Matt’s last words again. Just hearing them meant a great deal. I firmly believed that if it hadn’t been for his shoddy parents, he would have had a better life.

  With me.

  “Still going to California?” asked Crystal, after I finished reading.

  “Yes. I have to.”

  “Care to explain?”

  In all honesty, it was best that Crystal didn’t know. I was on a mission—a solo one. If I told her, she’d tell Scott, and he’d try to stop me. He would try to convince me that it was a matter for the police. Once I confirmed my suspicions, I’d contact him. After all, I would need help carrying out my ultimate plan.

  “It’s just a short vacation,” I lied. “Something to relax my mind for a bit.”

  Crystal gave me a knowing glance. If she was aware of what I was up to, she didn’t say it. “Okay. Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

  And there it was. She knew. Anyone who knew me well also knew. When I had an idea, I carried it out. I’d always had been that way.

  “Don’t worry about me.”

  Recently, I’d renewed my permit to carry a concealed weapon. These days I didn’t leave the house without my gun. When it came to the possibility of running into Leo, I didn’t take risks. I hoped he was comfortable. So comfortable that he’d become reckless.

  Another thing I did before leaving town was to go through Matt’s belongings. I kept his hockey memorabilia and photos. Although I shouldn’t have, I kept a few of his jackets and shirts. I just wanted things to keep him fresh in my thoughts. Scott took everything else and donated it to the Salvation Army.

  Then Dad and I sat down and talked about the funds that Matt wanted started. I had no idea how to begin one. To expedite the conversation, I let Dad read Matt’s final letter. I watched my father’s expression soften as he read the words. By the end, he had tears in his eyes.

  “Wow,” Dad said in a hoarse voice. “Why don’t you let me handle this? I know some people. Richard does too. We’ll take care of it while you’re gone.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” It was one less thing for me to address, and I was grateful for that.

  “You know, sometimes bad things happen to good people. I don’t think that man had a fair chance in life. From what you’ve told me, he started at a disadvantage. It’s hard for me to fathom a man not standing up and admitting he has children. Doesn’t matter that he cheated on his wife. He should have told those boys. He should have told his family the whole truth.”

  Amen to that.

  ∞∞∞

  Dad’s words were the reason why I ended up on the sidewalk outside the Patterson home. They nagged at me so much that I got Crystal to get me an address. I had to know what type of man Allen Patterson was.

  The front door popped open, and a rotund woman stepped onto the porch. Her style reminded me of a bygone era—a dress too slim for her frame, sensible heels, and an outdated hairdo. Her bright-pink lips curled up.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Are you Amelia Patterson?”

  “I am.” Her bright-blue eyes twinkled. “And you are?”

  I approached her and extended my hand. “My name is Rachel. I was a friend of Matt’s.”

  The smile flipped upside down. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “I’m not leaving until I speak to either you or your husband.”

  “Fine.” She pivoted on her heel and held open the door.

  I stepped into an immaculate living room with furniture covered in thick plastic. It creaked underneath me as I tried to make myself comfortable on a chair.

  Mrs. Patterson sat on the sofa and crossed her plump legs. “What do you want?”

  “The truth. Did your husband tell you that he was Matt and Leo’s father?”

  “Eventually. At first, he simply told me that he wanted to do his civic duty by becoming a foster parent. I thought it was an admirable endeavor.”

  I wasn’t convinced. “When you learned the truth, why didn’t you push for him to tell his sons?”

  “You young people think you have all the answers. I bet you’ve never been married,” she said in a condescending voice.

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “You don’t know what it means to honor your husband. Allen said it wasn’t my concern.”

  Unbelievable!

  “Your daughter should have made it your concern,” I said as calmly as I could.

  Annoyance came in a dark shadow crossing Mrs. Patterson’s face. “Did you come here to offer me parenting skills?”

  “Of course not. I just wanted to understand how you could let this happen.”

  Her face turned red. “I’ll have you know I didn’t let anything happen. April and Matt were determined to be together. Every chance they got, they took it. We caught them kissing. We even caught them in bed together!”

  I was pissed. “And you should have told them the truth! If you had, both of them would be alive today.”<
br />
  Mrs. Patterson stood. “I believe it’s time for you to leave.”

  “Gladly.” I stalked toward the door. Before I stepped through it, I faced her. “April’s and Matt’s deaths are on your hands. You chickened out. Took the coward’s path.”

  Her hand whipped out and hit my cheek. I deserved it. Despite my feelings, I was disrespectful. But Amelia Patterson deserved my judgment. She’d done nothing to protect her stepchildren or her own child.

  ∞∞∞

  My last act was a necessary one involving Matt’s lawyer. It was a precaution just in case things went south.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asked.

  “Yes.” I signed the document detailing my last wishes. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out envelopes addressed to Dad, Richard, Crystal, and Scott. “Please, add these to the file.”

  The lawyer grinned. “History repeating itself?”

  “What Matt did made sense.” The difference was that he knew he would die. I had no idea if I were flying out to my death or just confirming a suspicion. Either way, I had to be prepared.

  “Executor?”

  “Crystal Dixon.” I didn’t want to burden my father. If anything happened to me, he’d be too upset to handle business, anyway.

  ∞∞∞

  With all of my affairs—and Matt’s—in order, I was ready to go. I said goodbye to Dad at the house.

  “Why do I feel like this is farewell?” he said.

  “I’ll be back.” I hoped. “It’s just one week.”

  The car horn blew behind us. Crystal leaned out the passenger window. “Come on, girl.”

  Scott came up the walkway and took my bag. Butterflies took off in my stomach as I realized that I had reached my point of no return.

  41

  Confirmation

  Rachel

  After checking into my hotel near LAX, I had no idea where to go first. I pulled open my notepad and scanned the different locations Leo mentioned from time to time. He had a thing for the city of Santa Monica. Thankfully, I’d rented a vehicle with GPS.