Alexis did as she was told - as she always did. She soaped up her hands and rubbed the suds over her body, down her legs, and all over herself as she sat wide to him.
"Yes, shave your legs first. I want them to be beautifully smooth," she heard him saying as she began the methodical and rhythmic movement of the shaver as it glided over her skin. It was a slow process - he liked it to be slow and she knew that he got slowly but extremely aroused by watching her do this.
After she had finished one leg she moved on to do the other, and saw his deep desire on his face. She couldn't see his hand but knew it was there, on him, touching himself through his pants. He always did that now - this was his 'flavour of the month'.
"Hmm … now your armpits," he continued and she could hear his voice changing, like he was eager for her to get to the time when he would give in to his feeling of urgency.
When he acknowledged that her legs and armpits were completely free from hair, Alexis widened her legs further and rubbed more soap all over herself, making him groan deeply. Then she picked up the razor and started to shave that area. It wasn't easy to do - she'd had to practice quite a few times to be able to do it well - but as always, when he watched her do that, she saw his eyes glaze over.
She was taking her time, making it last as long as possible, and when she looked at him she could see that his hand was now moving faster. Finally she was almost at the end of the job and as she looked at him she saw him stand up - as he did each time - take his clothes off, and finish, ejaculating into the water in the bathtub.
When she put the shaver down, he climbed into the tub, picked up the handheld shower head and asked her to stand up so he could rinse her off completely, including her genitals, which she did enjoy. When he pointed the water flow there, he watched her squeal and moan in desire, making him aroused again.
"Now me," he said and handed the shower head to her. She rinsed him all over but the area that he particularly seemed to enjoy the water shooting into, was his anus. The first time she had done that he had sounded surprised but then full of force in telling her to keep the water flow there. To turn up the power of the flow so it was more forceful. And to turn up the temperature so the water was even hotter.
As he felt the hot water hitting him from behind, Lincoln reached for her head and pushed it down onto him. She had found it difficult to coordinate the first few times he had instructed her to do this - holding the shower head to point it from behind, while at the same time taking him into her mouth - but she was perfecting it now. He didn't wait for Alexis to orgasm during this particular ritual - her time came later. This was just for him. Her part in this was to get clean - exceptionally clean, with no dull, dead skin visible - with no hair in the areas that he said must be hairless - and then help him reach orgasm.
After he did so, he gently pulled her up to face him and put his arms around her, kissing her, before turning off the water and assisting her out of the bath. He took his time, gently and lovingly drying her off with the towel, and letting her do the same to him. He wanted to be gentle with her so she would always know how much he loved her … respected her … needed her.
After the bathroom ritual was complete, Lincoln then found he could focus on her once again. He led her into the bedroom, walking in front of her as he always did. Her place was behind him. That was now her place. Every single time they walked in the same direction. Always.
"Kneel there, Lexi, on the edge of the bed," he said to her and looked at the view of her from behind before he knelt on the floor near the bed edge, and used his tongue to bring her to orgasm like that. After she had, he needed another fix of that.
"Now turn over and lie down of your back. Spread your legs wide for me," he commanded and she did so, to then find his tongue on her again, feeling different this time, from the different angle.
After that he seemed to be sated, at least for the moment.
"Next time I come I want you to go through that cleaning process yourself, while I wait here on the bed for you. Scrub as hard as you can, like you were doing, to get all dead skin off, and then shave every little piece of hair. When you are finished doing that, then come to me here," Lincoln said to her as he held her close, already thinking of his next visit - and every visit thereafter.
8 ~ LEXI & LINCOLN: THE LAST SIX MONTHS
It was Friday night again. And it was now approaching 9pm. Always soon after 9pm Alexis received a phone call - or a text message - with a request from him. He was out of town all day on Fridays, but instead of wanting to rush home to his wife, he always seemed to want to come and see her. On Fridays he had only seen her the night before so on a logical level knew he could have had a night away, but inside of his heart he knew that he couldn't. There was something different about Fridays. It didn't matter that they had been together the night before. He just had to have her with him on this night - every week.
He had influenced her so well now that she knew that after she would open the door to him, she could be asked to do … anything. Anything that would cause him pain. She was starting to hate that. She had never felt comfortable with it, but she had endured it. He wanted it - so she would do it. And it wasn't hurting her - she tried to tell herself that over and over, but even she knew she was arguing with herself. He might not be hurting her physically but she was hurting.
Lincoln sat on the plane. He had a two hour wait until he would see or talk to her. On his mind was last Friday … and the weeks before that when he had approached her and directed her to do to for him 'just one more thing' he had been thinking about. Sometimes now his mind was utterly consumed - he just couldn't stop the thoughts that bombarded his mind, day and night. He knew he was sleeping less too - he stayed up later and later with the expectation that he would reach a point of exhaustion where he would - must - fall asleep as soon as he got into bed. Or if not then, then certainly after he made love to Diana. But things were changing inside of him and even after staying up late, even after being in bed and releasing into his wife, his mind was often still too active. It was too full. He sometimes wished he could just find an 'off switch' for it. Or just simply find that thing - that one thing - that would be so satisfying to him that he would be blissfully subdued after it.
When she let him into her apartment on this night, he stood in front of her and handed her a sex toy - long, metallic, cold, hard - and she worried he wanted to use it on her - or in her - but again he reassured her it was for her to use on him.
"Lexi, tonight I want you to put this in me," he said to her. As he spoke the words he watched her face, but he was too far into his own thinking to accurately read her thoughts or feelings.
Alexis immediately felt sick. She knew it wasn't anything unusual, inserting anally, but she found she didn't want to do it. Suddenly she found the strength to mumble that she didn't want to. She said the words over and over, trying to force them out of her so he would hear her.
"Stop!" he shouted at her in anger at her saying she wouldn't do it, and immediately saw her fall to her knees and go quiet. He had seen her in this position so often that these days he didn't think anything of it - all he could think of was what he wanted her to do to him.
Alexis didn't know she had done it until she felt him shaking her, there on the ground.
"Lexi?" he was asking. She could hear his voice in the background but something wasn't quite right. Then the voice cut through the mist and found her. "Lexi! Wake up!"
Lincoln watched her but could only think one thought - 'she isn't doing what I want her to do'. He couldn't see that it was not a normal thing to happen to her - that there was something changing in her that was affecting her so much that her body now automatically fell into that position when he yelled at her.
Alexis came around and for a moment had a confused look on her face, before remembering where she was.
"Tell me what you want me to do," she said automatically, not remembering what he had told her to do, but knowing that he was waiting for somethin
g - needing her to do something.
With the two of them already being down on their knees, she watched as he simply pulled down his pants in front of her, and got on all fours … waiting. She could see on his face the level of anticipation he had - she could not miss noticing and seeing how aroused he was. And as she looked at his face she could clearly see that he was in a completely different zone from her now - he was nowhere near the zone she was in.
"Pick it up and put it in me," he said, and she saw what he was looking at, and now remembered what he had asked her to do.
Reluctantly Alexis picked up the object and felt her hand start to shake uncontrollably as she processed what he was wanting from her. She knew it was normal - many people liked anal stimulation - but something about being on the delivery end of it affected her greatly. In her gut she felt sick, to the point where she wondered if she might pass out.
She looked at his face and could see on him the intense hunger he had, almost like he was looking at a meal after having not eaten for weeks - she could almost see the saliva coming off him at the sight of the item she was holding.
Alexis tentatively moved into position, ready to push it into him, feeling increasingly nauseous at the thought. A part of her wanted to shout out, to tell him that she couldn't do it. That it was too difficult for her. That she wasn't the right person for what he needed…
"Do it!" he shouted at her, and the fear his voice invoked in her finally forced her to do as he asked - as he instructed. She could just try it, she told herself. It wasn't hurting her so there was no real reason why she couldn't do it to him.
It wasn't easy, and she hated doing it, but she equally was afraid not to do it either. So she did it - he wanted her to do it so she did.
"Push it in harder, Lexi - oh yes … hmm … harder! Oh yes, in and out, faster," he kept saying to her, wanting more and more, and she obliged, trying to hide the now dead feeling that was in her heart.
Once again, it was enough for him, and after a short amount of time he climaxed. Then he relaxed, turning to her and hugging and kissing her. He didn't move to pleasure her before he left that night, and she was glad because she knew with the way she was feeling that she would not have been able to enjoy it, and he would have gotten upset if she didn't climax when he pleasured her. She had never not been able to climax with his pleasuring, but tonight … tonight she knew in the core of her gut that she would not have been able to.
Lincoln left that night feeling another level of ecstasy in the new thing he had experienced. And he had her to thank for it - she was wonderful and he loved her for being so accepting of him. For being so generous to him. For being so giving.
He was satisfied with giving those instructions for two months - which for him now was a long time - but then seemed to change again, needing more. Alexis kept doing what he wanted her to do to him, but she felt like her heart was dying. The stress of hurting someone over the extended period of time was finally - and well and truly - taking its toll on her. She was thankful he only came over three times a week - she could not have taken seeing him any more than that.
The next month he came home with something that horrified her - a strap on.
"Put it on, Lexi!" he yelled at her when she had shown on her face that she did not want to.
She did as he asked, and worked out how to get into it and make it fit securely. When she looked at his face, she saw the excitement that was there - and the look of absence. He was there in the room with her but he wasn't really there. He had left her somehow. He was present in body and in his own mind, but not there with her.
"Yes! Oh yes. Now that you have it on I want you to come to me and put it into me."
Alexis felt sick to her stomach, and knew this was the limit for her. Once again she said she did not want to do it. It didn't matter that other people found this normal - pleasurable. For her it was a breaking point - the absolute breaking point that she had no desire to pass. She could feel tears threatening but he couldn't see it. He could hardly see her, he was so eager for what he wanted her to do.
"Do it!" he yelled and she immediately fell to the floor, in the same position as always. She again found herself not feeling normal - almost like she was out of her body - her soul was dying and what was left of it was somewhere else entirely.
"Lexi! Wake up!" he was saying, shaking her. To Lincoln it didn't compute that this was happening more and more. Each time, he was too eager for what he needed her for. All he could see when she went vacant, was that she wasn't acting as quickly as he wanted her to.
The force of his voice woke her up again, and her fleeting thought was, 'There is something wrong with me'.
"Lexi, I need you. Put it in me … please," she could hear him saying … begging.
She told herself she just had to keep him thinking she was fine - just make him think that for a little while longer.
She did as he wanted, keeping her eyes closed so she couldn't see what she was doing.
"Fuck me harder, Lexi. Really push it into me!" he yelled at her, pushing her to slam into him as hard as she possibly could, while she, all the while, just kept thinking about how she was going to get out of this and away from him. Something was wrong inside of her now - these moments of … weirdness … were starting to creep in more and more often - and they couldn't be right. Something was wrong!
Lincoln was oblivious to what was going through her mind. He was too focused on the feelings she was invoking in him by moving in him like she was. Every new thing he wanted her to do to him, she did, and he told himself that he loved her more and more with every act she performed on him. He was well past seeing what it was doing to her - the pain and the illness she felt in everything she did to him. With regard to her, in any way other than the deliverer of what he needed to feel, he was numb. He just didn't know it.
Afterwards he pulled her into his arms and told her how much he loved her, and how wonderful it was to have her - someone who liked and enjoyed the same things he did.
~~~~~
"Go and run the bath," he told her on the phone one Friday night when he arrived at the airport. "Don't put any cold water in - fill the bath just with water from the hot water tap."
That was his instruction. It wasn't like any previous instruction and, as always now, Alexis was nervous about whatever he had planned.
When he arrived, she opened the door, wearing only panties, as he had long ago told her to always be, and she had her eyes down, looking at his feet in the doorway.
Lincoln walked in and closed the door behind him, for a moment feeling tender toward her before he went back into his own head space, thinking about what he wanted to think about.
"Undress me," he said once they were in the living area, and watched her face as she complied. When he was naked he started to walk to the bathroom.
"Walk behind me. Follow me!" he said to her with force in his voice that alarmed her, and she fell in step obediently, as she always should.
When she walked into the bathroom, she saw him lowering himself into the water, and she waited for him to speak further.
"Come closer, Lexi," he said, with a different look in his eyes - a look that she couldn't define. She just hadn't seen it before. It was new. It was unrecognisable. And it scared her.
She walked to him and stood beside the side of the bath, looking along the length of his body, now submerged. Even in her fear she found herself reacting to looking at his body. There was so much that she did enjoy about him, and could have been happy, if only…
"Kiss me," he said, for a moment briefly seeming to actually see her before he faded away into his own world again.
When Alexis leaned over the edge of the bath and kissed him she knew he was really different tonight. For a fleeting moment she thought back to when she had met him. And desperately wished that she had never asked him to tell her what he wanted her to do to him. It was a lesson learned, and one she would not make the mistake of doing again.
"Leave
your panties on. Climb in. Straddle me."
She carefully stepped into the bath - it would be the first bath they had ever truly had together - and relaxed down on top of him, straddling him over his hips. He was flaccid now - a state she had hardly seen him in since she had met him.
Lincoln reached out and caressed her breasts for a few minutes - he remembered how much he had loved her body when he had met her but somehow it had become not so important now when he spent time with her. In the depth of his mind and his heart he wanted to be back there, enjoying the sex with her again … but now something else called him.
Vaguely he had a thought that he was sure when he had first met her, her breasts had filled his hands, but now they were hardly there. That was the limited extent to what he could comprehend about how much weight she had lost since he had come into her life.
"Put your hands on my throat, Lexi," he said, startling her greatly. "Do it!" he yelled at her and she could see his face full of a new anger - a new desperation - and it wasn't just fear that dwelled in her now - she knew she could not remain with him on this journey of his anymore. It had to stop. Perhaps he still had further to go on his never ending quest - but for her it had to stop.
She put her hands on his throat, as he ordered, and already had suspicion of the words that would next come out of his mouth, even before he said them.
"Tighten your hands. Grip my throat as hard as you can," he said to her, and when she looked at him she saw his eyes had changed. It was like he was possessed by something completely … different. But still, behind her, she could feel him grow hard at the thought of what he wanted to happen. That he could get turned on by such a thought was … sickening … to her, she found. It didn't matter to her what other people found acceptable as far as bodily harm went - even during something so pleasurable as sex - to her, she just couldn't stomach any more.
Alexis calculated her move. She was in a bathtub with a man who once again wanted her to hurt him. She had to think quickly as she wanted desperately to be anywhere but there in that moment. She did not know for certain, but there was a chance that he would be angered if she got out, and if he got angry, she did not want to be near a bathtub full of water. He had never hurt her physically - he had promised right back at the start that he never would, and so far he had kept that promise. But she had always said yes. And for the first time ever she was about to gather all the strength she could muster, and effectively - firmly - say no.
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