by Eric Paguio
into this room that lives through the wire
marble stone against metal rail
that weaves through the pillars, and those that try to keep their heads still
still
this is the spiral
touch it now, hold it now,
wait...
it never fails
this energy....there's a sudden sensory, that makes sense to be
that everything is possible like it was meant
be in the concussions that we deliver in each other's arms
be in the absurd bewilderment that makes us so drawn
be the effort of the illusion
be that we are more than what we are made to
be
just another red ruby sequin
on a blood filled sea
can't you tell the difference, even though the color is the same
like water melting from ice
down the sink
down the drain
can you feel it slipping
because you can't understand its path
over the ridges and ripples of your fingers
what you thought was a grasp
may that drop of water turn into rain
that makes muddy pools out of the droughted plain
when it travels through the kitchen and
down into the sewers and
past the school filled with children
may it be cleansed like it was!
invisible as it once was!
so it can again,
join life with the living.
like butterfly wings
like seesaws
swinging
water, air and earth how badly do they need you so
and fire i wish you could just stay away
from burning both ends of the rope
but even if, even if
the sheep's is in the meadow, the cows in the corn
god, not you God, but god...
don't give up now
you've still given us, the rest of us
as blind or as meek or as weak and withered, as tyrannical or cynical
how badly bruised and injured
you can count on us to deliver
there's still hope,
Gabriel, and not the angel...
don't blow your horn.
you don't need to give earthquakes, or plagues,
death, die and decay,
another day of ignoring and withering and disease and sickness away, anymore
we're still coming home...
until then
its your work, that's my work
that must be done by you
through me.
and although there is pain and there is hurt
enough to consume
may you make death quick
when it is time for blades to turn
Eviscerator
as
soon
as
i'm
open
i'm clo
sing,
again
as soon
as i'm turning
i'm learn
ing
my friend
(to) pull me back now
but be
yond where i've been
the sun and the center
blood shining
creator
but blinding
i am, now
thee
eviscerator
fighting and incinerating
my will
beyond (my) nature
claws sharpened
and turned aching by
frowning children's web's lax
and with {this} twisted anger
i cant hold my back handed prayer hand back
to tear and swear that rare prayer of my peers, be queer
the gears, sifted, seared by my fears, shifted once sealed, lifted by my tears
dropping gifts
rotted, bored, on boards on pier
transform, not stare
beyond despair
reflection not spared, in mirr-r
through time of muddy sand
invoking what i haven't known
focus
into what i know now
this time for my claw hand
to reap what i've sown.
Untitled
there was once a man who played in puddles
talked in rhyme
talked in riddle
the only puzzle he didn't unfizzle
was when he was in downpour
among all this drizzle
in due time the rain did stop
but alas, he was drenched
from his toe to his top
in due shine the sun came out
and alas he had opened his mouth...
and he was me that i had composed
cold-pressed
walking through rows of rose
face-less,
soaking from head to toe,
wearing sheets of paper clothes...
i was once the sun,
the son,
from the father
i had come from,
become
and he was me that hides that shine inside
i was once a man from a distant time
To the years have passed
to the years have passed, with each daylight, daybreak, sun shattering life and death, passing each day
to think we've made it this far.
this far apart
i'd just like to say, you never know What
the worst of things
could do to you
or the things that you could do about it.
dont get me wrong,
im not writing like this is over,
over baked,
over the dozen, thrown in, or thrown over your shoulder
its this part i want to share. this one thing i keep so close to me, this thing that no one knows.
but to tell the truth as truthfully so... this custom turned ethic; i am so burdened with.
one person does know,
but they have sworn to infinitely keep this secret so much
and as i have sworn to keep this true.
it seems that secrets sometimes supersedes what we are trying to accomplish.
in 7 hours, i did realize that this was a gift. although things took shape into a wolf.
and like star shaped cuts, whipped on my back, it definitely did matter as much as that
...hungry wolf
but i'm not saying the name, to use it in vain - or to attest to the manifest of my shame
no, no... i do take for granted
but that is then, and remember
i'm telling you how
not to remember, is worse than to forget
for that festers, that secret that supersedes...
but for everything that reminds me
it reminds me, of the me that is the sunshine on your back
that is the heart in hand
fool
to think that i could ever forget,
me
how you made me make myself steal
every piece until it was all set aside for you
and how that made me feel
because lie was living the truth
and it pushed me so, over every place i could go
over the mountain, carried through undertow
to get to you
and to think, i can't even thank you
In Passing
&nb
sp; How can someone make you forget with a smile? The one that stops you in your tracks like the last second before an oncoming crash - the instant of grinding metal crushing its way into the space that occupies your body. With that body contains the thought that circles with worries and the devices and interpretations that help us make it to the end of the day. The quotes and phrases that stand ready like green toy soldiers – they stand ready to defend the silence that helps us stay warm and fall asleep at night.
Those eyes lock into you. Solid enough to touch your soul as soft as the rolling fog. A hand that eases the stiffness in your back and is now made as comfortable as a favorite chair. Little did you know that your arms have found their place without the constant weight of gravity or the soreness that dedicated hands take.
It is said that eyes do not lie and maybe our own deceive us. But what is that feeling that compels us beyond our bodies? It is not made through time in the places where we fill in the gaps when we wonder, “What happened?”
In there, that solemn moment - there is no one else but our eyes, as people blur by behind, by our sides and in between. Lungs compress the oxygen that once filled this space.
Those eyes may be in passing. The view into which is the essence- so plainly presented. makes no difference because by now, you’ve already changed and they have affected your life forever
There is something between us. From any distance, we are embraced in each other’s arms.
In the most grand and minute of disguises – we’ve seen each other.
He-Him She-her
welcome, come in it's warm
mutilate decapitate
grow thin begin
inhale in verse
go skin running
ask a mass
true thingsit clings
a driverinside her
go away stay
stay far we are
go stars memoirs
if i know where i was going... i'm sowing
oh noso
it's darkembark
exhale ever
smoke trickles from my fingertips.. so soft
this is my second eleven, eleven, eleven
go ahead she said
let him let her
come in she sings
it's final it's right
go sin ending
come back relax
and ask sharp tacks
i'll answer i'll ask
it's fine okay
you're worthit's dirt
the time a mine
i know a rut
it's time a line
lets go. a blow.
Arrow
in the morning wake
she wiped her eyes
the haze that consumed: (door's closed, someone's home) denied
she walked up those icy stairs
to a place where no one would've cared to look after
the windows closed, *they* howl of winded disaster
the metal spoke as heaven opened
how cold is your hand on the rail
with hail, mary was an archer - but without her aim she had failed
dear mother sing the song that you could follow
a place that would bring the breach to the shallow
with it comes in the speak of tomorrow
lingering *shall* give the quiver to the sorrowed
the secret suddenly releases upon blunted words
once so frail-unopened the tiny red ribbon disturbed
the toil that we till, until the mouth is filled full of the flowers that we grew,
truth they've said to never say again,
broken arrow,
subdued
the flicker of the match, the light of the haste
she wounded that throat- thread wrapped 'round ever so tightly
that a fool could never step through the net
a barrier that run ground of he might be
bury her, ground off, a long lost taste
he might be a mighty maybe,
may he?
mother may i sing the song that you could follow
the day the son would bring the speak of today, tomorrow
within brings the depth to the hollow
if i didn't, if i should
if i could of, if i would
if i can, if i stand
if i've been misunderstood
if i correct at all
if i reflect, collect it all
i am just like you
and i accept that you are not like me
the root that grows upon the tree
in the woods without a sound the light has found its way
blindly to me
by wind winding through each feather of birds wings
and when that beauty flew until it died
it placed me there to grow beyond impair
with or without being heard
with or without being near
don't use your eyes,
don't listen,
the weight of the fall
is always there
One way
look for me
in the morning air
would you even
find me there
in the room
when i painted blue
would you know,
i've left for you
in my heart
i've walked away
would i find you there
some way
along the distant line
check your wrist
do you have the time?
look for me
in the morning air
would you even
find me there
speak what has
encrypted me
folded
nothing to see
here we are as nevermore
long ago we were before
in the spaces
where the wind whistles through
speak untrue
as it were
we've hurt each other
we both did it for you
n.Either
make it so
so much
that you are never without me
make it so
so much
that you are always with me
make it so
that you are never with me
make it so
that you are always without me
to us
this is both
the knot
and the rope
which is stronger
it will or will it
let us go
Rifle
from the front
war has waged
eager to spill
onto the next page
many passages like atoms
colliding, and vaporizing -
creating
moments of nothing
for none to read
those blind eyes,
that do not span
that wingspan
of spanning time
saying,
"I am unfortunate
as could I be
the only one that could see
...here
right here
through the light...
through your door, I will find me."
and,
"Darkness my only friend
have I rest to die again
I've put my hands into your care
to watch things I've built
not be there"
"How little do I know
with as much as I have followed
the depths of morbid
through the depths of the shallow."
with this so much
is such
that naught
is there
in that once burning field,
turned to gray
that soldier's
clipping wing
is empty today
with a step forward
that dust will recollect
to no such memory
he has not given up yet
not the war to continue, but the man
to walk out of the burning sand
who will tell time to listen
to what time will tell
who will shape the wisdom
he doesn't know so well
he is the one that lays his down his hands
to be cut in half from where other men stand
even in the heart
where none shall pass
he has embraced that broken glass
as it is all that is now
i've started to notice a change.
in my eye - a burning field
and i've been there
to reveal
with a right to wander
always due to be
as sudden as tragedy
where, there i contested my palm
"left hand, disarm"
the toil of again
purposeless when wrought
to be the name
what it is, it is what to be,
it is, not
as each moment is skewed by perspective
step left, steady,
misery
has become
the enemy
as that choice chosen by fault
for all
that is worthless
we fall,
into what's recognizably
redeemed to be the best of us
and its enough to fire at will, fire at your enemy
if you can face one, you face them all
You
take my wrists
take my arms
but do not take my word
as my word can disarm
the way of the unknown
the feeling that shows
of what is hidden inside
the place never to go
and how the howling wind did matter
as it filled the space with noise
ripping the rope to climb
opening doors once closed
but as soon as spoken
it was shared and observed
and it changed the will of the wise
as it was brought into the world and stirred
let it be heard
and i will show you
the wind's song
as it shatters the veil