Man Enough For Me

by Rhonda Bowen

  “I think the current venue may pose a risk to the image of our company and the safety of our audience,” Jules said curtly.

  “So what, you didn’t know this before? How come all of a sudden the Sound Lounge is a risk?” ‘Dre asked. His eyes bore into her harshly from across the conference room table. “When I expressed doubts about the venue the first time it came up, you were the one who told me it was the best we could do. What’s up with the sudden one hundred eighty?”

  Jules gritted her teeth to stop the words she longed to say. She had decided before the meeting that she would not disclose her suspicions about Germaine, partly because she had nothing solid to back her up, but mainly out of respect for the fact that even though Germaine might be criminal, he was still Truuth’s family.

  “Look, ‘Dre, you trusted me to do all of this for you and so far it’s been working out okay,” Jules said. “I don’t think Ger—the Sound Lounge is the best place for the launch. I’ve already found a new location that won’t cost us any more than we were willing to pay before. Can’t you just trust my judgment on this?”

  Jules kept her eyes focused on ‘Dre, hoping he would believe her bluff. Truthfully, she only had a couple ideas of new venues for the launch. There was nothing sure yet.

  “This is because you and Germaine split, isn’t it,” Truuth said coldly. It was the first time he had spoken since the start of the meeting, and all eyes in the room turned to look at him. But his eyes were fixed on Jules.

  This she hadn’t anticipated.

  “This has nothing to do with me and Germaine,” Jules said, unable to hide the irritation in her own voice. “I can’t believe you think I would allow my personal life to interfere with my work.”

  “You didn’t seem to have a problem mixing business and personal when you were giving him the contract for the event, though,” Truuth shot back.

  “Forget you, Truuth,” Jules said. “How dare you point fingers at me when you were the first one to bring your personal life all up into the business?”

  “Hey!” Maxine protested.

  Jules didn’t even flinch. Maxine was her girl, but she was also the only one in the room who didn’t need to be there. But Truuth always had to have her in the meetings and when you ran a business with family and friends, that was the kind of thing that happened. Most of the time Jules didn’t care, but if Truuth was gonna call her out on her relationships, Jules was going to go ahead and return the favor.

  “Okay, you know what, everyone needs to just calm down,” Tanya said, jumping in.

  “… Okay, man, I’ll see you in a bit,” ‘Dre said. Jules looked up and noticed that ‘Dre was on his cell phone.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, annoyed. He was the one always complaining about cell phones on during office meetings and now he was making a call from his?

  “I just called Germaine,” ‘Dre said. “He’s not far away. He should be here in five minutes.”

  “What!” Jules exclaimed. “Why’d you do that?”

  “Jules, I respect your opinion on the venue, but if I’m going to do a major reshuffling this late in the game, I’m gonna have to go on more than just opinion. I want to hear his side.”

  “So what, I’m not credible enough?”

  “Considering the circumstances,” ‘Dre said, glancing at Truuth, “it can’t hurt to do a couple checks.”

  Jules felt her blood pressure rising and her heart beating faster. Her ears were ringing, and though she was trying to appear calm, she was having trouble breathing. She had not seen this coming at all.

  “Don’t take it personally, Jules,” ‘Dre said. “It’s just business.”

  Jules leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. The room was completely silent, and she felt everyone’s eyes on her. It would be so easy for her to just tell them everything she knew. But for some reason she couldn’t.

  After what seemed like forever, Jules heard the front door open and shuffling in the hallway. A few moments later, ‘Dre returned to the room with Germaine in tow. Jules kept her eyes closed and concentrated on her breathing in order to keep herself calm.

  “What’s going on?” she heard Germaine ask.

  “Jules seems to have some concerns about the Sound Lounge,” ‘Dre said. “She wants to move Truuth’s launch to a new venue.”

  “What!”

  Jules’s eyes snapped open when she heard the surprise in Germaine’s voice. He couldn’t really expect that she would still be doing business with him after what she knew. There was no way he thought she would bring her artist into his drug den.

  “Jules, are you out of your mind?” Germaine asked. “Triad is booked at the Sound Lounge for two whole weeks. How am I supposed to find new acts to fill those nights on such short notice?”

  “You seem to know a lot of people,” Jules said. “I’m sure you can come up with something.”

  “Jules, this is crazy.”

  “No. Crazy would be us having Truuth’s launch at your lounge,” Jules said knowingly. The look she gave him made sure he knew exactly what she was talking about.

  For the first time Germaine seemed to notice everyone else in the room watching them carefully.

  “Jules, can I have a word with you, please?” Germaine asked. His voice was much calmer, but his eyes still flashed at her angrily.

  “Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of everyone here,” Jules said, narrowing her eyes at him. She folded her arms stubbornly and looked at him expectantly.

  Germaine gritted his teeth and looked up at the ceiling in frustration.

  “You know what, maybe it’s time for a short break,” Tanya said suddenly, popping up out of her chair and dragging Maxine with her toward the exit. Following her cue, ‘Dre, Truuth, and a reluctant Easy left the room.

  As soon as the door closed, Germaine began.

  “You know, Jules, I knew you were upset the other day. But I figured once you got home and thought about it, you’d see how ridiculous your accusations were. But I never for a second thought you would take your craziness this far.”

  “This far!” Jules exclaimed, leaning forward in her chair. “Negro, you’re lucky I didn’t call the police on your coke-pedaling behind.”

  Germaine laughed humorlessly. “What’s stopping you? Go ahead and call them. Make a report on how you saw me talking with two men in my office and that you think I should be arrested. You tell them that and see which one of us ends up being locked up.”

  “Don’t worry—that option isn’t completely off the table yet,” Jules threatened. “It’s only because Truuth is your cousin that I haven’t said anything. I’m just thinking of him.”

  “You’re thinking of him. Have you thought about anyone else at all?” Germaine asked. “If you want nothing to do with me, that’s fine. But this is my livelihood that you’re talking about, Jules. My business. And since you obviously don’t give a flip about me, how about you think of the people who work for me. How this affects them.”

  “I feel for them,” Jules said. “Guess they didn’t know they were signing on to work for an Escobar.”

  “Unbelievable. This is unbelievable,” Germaine said, more to himself than to Jules as he paced the room.

  Jules watched him without sympathy. She would not allow her friends to get mixed up in whatever was going on with Germaine at the Sound Lounge. She could never live with herself if someone she knew got hurt because of it.

  “Jules,” Germaine said tiredly. “I don’t know how else to say it to you. I am not involved in drugs. I’m not a drug dealer. Never have been. Never will be.”

  “So what were those men doing in your office?” Jules asked. Deep in her heart she desperately wanted to be wrong. She wanted it all to be a misunderstanding. But unfortunately that was not how it was going to work out.

  “They, had a … meeting with me,” Germaine said vaguely.

  “A meeting with you,” Jules said, narrowing her eyes. “Did you know that they were
drug dealers?”

  Germaine looked uncomfortable. He looked down at the ground, then at the wall on the other side of the room—everywhere except at Jules.

  “I’ll take that as a yes,” Jules said. “So you were having a meeting with known drug dealers in your business office, at the Sound Lounge, and I’m supposed to believe you’re not involved with them.”

  “They just came to see me,” Germaine said unconvincingly.

  “Really,” Jules said. “And how would you explain being in a car with them? Were they just giving you a ride home?”

  Jules saw Germaine’s jaw tighten, but he said nothing and refused to meet Jules’s eyes.

  “See? You got nothing to say, but you want me to trust you,” Jules spat. She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. “How could you get involved in something like this, Germaine? Wasn’t your dad a cop?” Jules asked. “He would roll over in his grave if he could see you now.”

  At the mention of his father, Germaine’s eyes grew cold and hard. Something warned Jules not to take that train of thought any further.

  She looked down at the conference table and sighed heavily. “You’re not at all the person I thought you were.”

  “Yeah,” Germaine agreed coldly. “I guess both of us were wrong about each other.”

  Germaine’s words stung Jules, but she brushed them off and pretended that she didn’t care.

  He took one last look at her then turned to leave.

  “Your deposit check will be in the mail tomorrow,” he said, as he walked through the door. “You win, Jules.”

  As she watched him leave, she let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. Without warning, her eyes began to fill with tears, and she ducked down to try to wipe them away before any of the others came back into the room.

  If she had won, why did she feel like such a loser?

  *  *  *

  When Jules woke up Saturday morning, it was already 7:30. She was definitely going to be late for church. Truth be told, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to go to church. The way things had been going the past couple weeks, she didn’t feel like there was much she could get from the experience. She definitely wasn’t interested in going to Scarborough Memorial since that was where Maxine, Tanya, ‘Dre, and Truuth were likely to be. Ever since the whole incident with Germaine and the launch, there had been plenty of tension at the office, mostly between Jules and everyone else. She didn’t want to have to deal with that at church as well, the one place she should be able to have some peace.

  And then there was the possibility of running into Germaine.

  Since they had started dating, he had become somewhat of a regular around Scarborough Memorial, with all the mature women adopting him like he was a stray in need of care. At first Jules thought it was sweet. Now, she knew it would annoy her to see them fawn over him—especially knowing what she knew about him.

  All in all there were more than enough reasons to stay away from Scarborough Memorial that morning. But in her heart of hearts she knew there was no reason for her not to be in church on the day of the Lord. Which is why an hour later Jules found herself on the highway heading north toward the Toronto East Church.

  As Jules walked up the sidewalk toward the large brick and wood building, she remembered why she liked this church so much. Nestled in the middle of Toronto’s East York district, Toronto East was truly a community church. It was surrounded on every side by small bungalow style homes, most of which dated back almost seventy years. The church itself was pretty old, and the aging bricks and worn wooden roof showed it. But whenever Jules was inside, she felt the same warm feeling she got when she was at Scarborough Memorial. Most of the members were first and second generation immigrants from the West Indies, and when they were all amongst each other, it was as if they had never left the Caribbean.

  This morning church was packed. As Jules slipped through the crowded foyer into the sanctuary she glanced at the program a smiling usher had handed her and realized the reason for the commotion. It was Music Day. Jules nodded to herself, thankful that the huge congregation would give her a chance to hide away in the back somewhere and remain unnoticed. She wasn’t in much of a mood to talk to anyone this particular morning.

  Though Jules had determined to be sulky and miserable, the beautiful music soon broke her resolve. As the visiting Apple Creek Youth Choir sang Sounds of Blackness’s “God Cares,” she felt the words tug at the strings of her heart. The truth was she had begun to doubt how much God really cared about her. It seemed like every time she turned around something else was going wrong. First her relationship with her mother, then the thing with Germaine, and now the blow-up at Triad.

  Plus, for some reason unknown to her, she was really missing her dad. She hadn’t been to see him in years, but in the last couple months she had gone as far as to consider making a trip to New York, where she knew he was living.

  She had never felt so alone in her whole life, and a part of her wondered if God had taken a vacation from her life.

  But as the words of the song seeped their way into her heart, she knew that she was not alone.

  God cares all about you

  And He’ll be there to see you through …”

  Jules felt warm tears roll down her cheeks. She had heard this song a million times before, but today it had special meaning for her. God really did care about her. That’s why he’d led her to this church this morning, so she could hear those words.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, with closed eyes. “I really needed that.”

  When the service ended a few hours later, Jules filed out of church behind the other members, with a smile on her face and a lightness in her heart. Somehow she had received the assurance that she would be okay. No matter how dismal things seemed, God would work it out for her good, even if she couldn’t possibly see how.

  As she stepped into the foyer, a flash of bright orange caught her eye.

  “Easy?”

  Easy turned around at the sound of his name, and smiled when he caught sight of Jules.

  “Baby girl, what are you doing here?”

  “Me! What are you doing here?” Jules asked, unable to hide her surprise or her delight at seeing Easy in church.

  “My Grams’s choir was singing here this morning, and she asked me to drop her off.”

  Jules put her hand on her hip and looked at him knowingly. “That still doesn’t explain why you’re here now.”

  Easy shrugged and gave a slight smile. “I decided to stick around for a bit.”

  Jules grinned and tucked her arm into his. “I’m glad you did.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t get too excited, it didn’t mean anything,” Easy said. But Jules could see a small smile at the corner of his mouth, and she knew that he had enjoyed the service more than he would let on.

  “So how you been, baby girl?”

  “So-so,” Jules said, resisting the urge to slip back into her earlier funk. God had been too good for her to be anything but thankful.

  “I know you’ve been having a hard time at Triad,” Easy said. “Sorry about that.”

  Jules waved his apology away as they walked down the front steps together. “It hurts that Max and Tanya have pretty much stopped talking to me since this whole thing, but it is what it is,” she said. “Besides, God is going to work it all out.”

  Easy looked at her quizzically. “How can you be so sure about that?”

  “I just know,” Jules said. “I was really down about everything, but being here this morning just reminded me how much He cares about me.”

  Easy grunted but said nothing more. Jules whispered a quick prayer in her heart and then took a deep breath.

  “He cares about you too, Easy,” she said. She braced herself. This was the part of the conversation where Easy usually brushed off the topic, not wanting to talk about anything related to him and God. But to Jules’s surprise, this time he didn’t.

  “How do you know that?” he
asked.

  “Because I’ve seen it with my own eyes,” Jules said confidently. “Look at the way He’s taken care of you. Protected you from harm in that community you live in. Look at how he’s blessed you with a grandmother who could love and take care of you even when your mother and father were gone.”

  Easy’s brow furrowed as he listened to Jules. He wasn’t objecting to anything she was saying, but she could tell that he wasn’t convinced.

  “If He cared so much, why would He make them leave in the first place? Isn’t a good God supposed to prevent that from happening?”

  Jules sighed. “God won’t force us to do anything, Easy. At the end of the day our choices are our own. I don’t know why your mom left; that’s a choice she made. But God made sure that someone was there for you even when she wasn’t.

  “Sometimes, things happen that we don’t understand. But the Bible says all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord. And so we have to believe that God is doing what’s best for us.”

  Easy pondered on Jules’s words for a moment before smirking.

  “So you think something good will come out of you hooking up with a drug dealer?” he challenged.

  Jules smiled. “Stranger things have happened.”

  Easy chuckled. “You really believe all this stuff, don’t you,” he said, glancing at Jules.

  She nodded. “I do. No one cares about you like He does, Easy. No one.”

  They both stood on the sidewalk, contemplating that concept, when Easy’s grandmother came up.

  “Jules! It’s nice to see you.”

  “It’s great to see you too, Sis Crawford,” Jules said, as the tiny woman’s arms enveloped her. “And it was even better seeing Easy here this morning.”

  “Ain’t it chile,” Sis Crawford agreed. “I tell you, prayer still works.”

  Jules sighed as she thought about Sis Crawford’s words. Yes, prayer still worked. It had to. Because with all that was going on in her life now, it was the only thing she could count on.

  Chapter 13

  Prayer was the only thing that kept Jules sane over the next few weeks, especially since Penny seemed to work extra hard to get under Jules’s skin.