by Rhonda Bowen
At that moment the waiter returned with their orders, placing the large steaming dishes in front of them. But they had both lost their appetites.
Maxine was still sniffling, and even as Jules held tightly to her hand, she couldn’t think of one thing worth saying.
Dear Lord, please give me the words to assure her, and please comfort Maxine now.
Jules took a deep breath.
“Maxine, listen to me. I know you’re feeling down on yourself right now, but remember that God still cares for you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, or what mistakes you’ve made, He still loves you, and He’ll always be there for you. And He loves this baby too.
“He wouldn’t have allowed you to have this baby if there wasn’t a purpose for both your lives in it. So just remember that. Just give Him everything you have, and He will make something beautiful out of it, just like He always does.”
Maxine nodded and sniffled. “I hope you’re right.”
“You know I’m right,” Jules said firmly. “And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, you tell me, and I’ll deal with it.”
Maxine laughed.
“Thanks, Jules.”
“Anytime, honey. You know I’m always here for you.”
“Yeah, you are,” Maxine said ruefully. “It’s like I can’t get rid of you.”
They both laughed.
As they began to eat, however, Jules heard Maxine sigh again.
“I just wish my parents felt the way you do,” she murmured.
“They’ll come around eventually,” Jules said, even though she wasn’t one hundred percent sure. “I’m not gonna lie, though. I can’t believe they really made you leave.”
“They’re not bad people, Jules,” Maxine said, picking up on her friend’s disdain. “They’ve just got their principles that they have to live by.
“My momma had done told me, from I was about twelve, that any day I got pregnant, that was it. I had to go. And for the next eleven years that was enough to scare me away from even thinking about messing with some dude.”
“I guess you weren’t thinking about her this time,” Jules said dryly.
Maxine smirked. “Trust me, Jules, when Germaine has your back up against his kitchen wall and his business all up between your legs, you’ll be thinking about a lot of things. But your momma ain’t gonna be one of them.”
Jules grimaced.
“So what are you going to do now?” Jules asked. “I know you, and living with Tanya isn’t gonna fly for much longer.”
“You got that right,” Maxine said, with a touch of irritation. “Can you believe that heifer woke me up at 5:30 yesterday morning to do yoga with her white self?”
Jules laughed out loud. “You lie!”
Maxine sucked her teeth in annoyance.
“You should have heard her, talking ‘bout how it will be good for the baby. I nearly hit her over the head with the bedside lamp.”
Jules doubled over as she envisioned Tanya in her full-body leotard, trying to wake Maxine before the sun came up.
“You know she means well,” Jules said, wiping away tears of laughter.
“Yeah, well, she needs to go mean well with someone else,” Maxine said.
Maxine rubbed her palm against her forehead and closed her eyes as if exhausted.
“Jules, I gotta find me somewhere to live,” she said, resting her elbows tiredly against the table. “I don’t know how much more of Tanya I can take.
“I need somewhere close to work, where my roommates won’t drive me crazy, and where I won’t feel like I’m living off someone’s pity.”
Jules sighed. She figured that some day in the future she was probably going to regret her next words.
“Why don’t you move in with me?”
Maxine raised one eyebrow at Jules curiously.
“Jules, you live in a one bedroom.”
“Yeah, but there are some two bedrooms open in my building. It would be nothing to move across. My lease is almost up anyway.”
“I don’t know, Jules. We’ve haven’t lived together since summer camp when we were fourteen,” Maxine said skeptically. “And I know we’re best friends and all, but just based on my experience with T, I know best friends don’t always make the best roommates.”
“True, but look at the up sides,” Jules reasoned. “You already know me. You know my building and the area. It’s close to work. It’s close to church. You’d be paying your own rent, so it’s not like I’d be doing you a favor.
“And at least you’d be close to a friend. You know, just in case you need someone to hold back your weave while you throw up from the morning sickness,” Jules said mischievously.
Maxine stuck out her tongue at Jules, and they both laughed.
But Jules could see that her friend wasn’t convinced.
“I don’t know, Jules.”
“Come on. What other choice do you have?”
Maxine shrugged. “Tanya’s not so bad when you give her a chance.”
“I guess you’re right,” Jules said casually as she stuck a piece of juicy salmon into her mouth. “By the way, how are you liking Tanya’s Sunday morning aerobics classes?”
Maxine shot Jules a dirty look. “Get me some estimates on rent, and we’ll take it from there.”
Chapter 28
“I can’t believe you fed Tanya that ‘don’t want to ruin the friendship’ mess,” Jules hissed at ‘Dre.
It was the first weekend in November, and all of Triad Entertainment, plus ‘Dre’s family and a host of acquaintances were packed into ‘Dre’s mother’s house for his thirtieth birthday party.
Most of the guests were milling around in the backyard and on the deck, in an effort to enjoy the Indian summer Toronto had been experiencing over the last few days.
Jules was trying to enjoy the festivities, but between ‘Dre avoiding Tanya, Tanya avoiding ‘Dre, ‘Dre avoiding Maxine and Jules, and Jules avoiding Germaine, Jules was having a hard time staying in one place for any extended period. She had finally managed to corner ‘Dre sitting alone at the side of the house with a large plate of food. ‘Dre grimaced when he saw her. From the look on her face, he knew he was about to get an earful.
“Geez, Jules. Go easy, it’s my birthday,” ‘Dre pleaded.
“Yes, it is your birthday,” Jules chided. “You’re all of thirty years old. Don’t you think it’s time you quit messing with these random chicks and get serious about someone?”
“Jules, this thing with me and Tanya, is between me and Tanya. And we’re … dealing with it,” ‘Dre said uncomfortably.
Jules looked at him as if he had lost his mind.
“Excuse me? I know you just didn’t tell me to butt out of your business,” Jules said saucily.
‘Dre dropped his fork and put down his plate when he realized that there was no getting rid of Jules.
“Weren’t you the one who told me you were having feelings for Tanya?” Jules asked.
‘Dre nodded and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration.
“So what’s the deal? The girl tells you she cares about you, and you tell her you just want to be friends? Are you trying to break her heart?”
“You don’t understand, Jules,” ‘Dre said tightly. “Me and Tanya … it can’t happen. No matter how much I care about her, there’s no future for the two of us. And I can’t just do a casual thing with her. She’s too important to me.”
Jules looked at ‘Dre carefully. She realized that he was really stressed out about the situation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with Tanya; it was that something else was in the way.
“What’s going on ‘Dre?” Jules said softly, sitting down beside him. “Talk to me.”
‘Dre sighed heavily. “My mother.”
Jules was confused. “What does your mother have to do with this?”
“Everything,” ‘Dre said sadly. “She would never accept Tanya.”
“Why? Because she’s …”
&n
bsp; ‘Dre nodded. “Because Tanya’s white.”
“I don’t understand, ‘Dre; you have tons of white friends,” Jules said, looking around at the myriad of guests in the backyard. “A lot of them are here now.”
“Yeah, but I’ve never dated a white girl before,” ‘Dre said. “Did you think that was a coincidence?”
Jules shrugged. “I guess I never thought about it. We had heard you say you don’t do white girls, but I thought that was just you being you. Just like how you used to say you don’t wear colored sneakers, until Nike came out with the new Freestyles.”
‘Dre shook his head. “It was more than that.”
Jules sighed heavily and leaned back on the bench. She had always known there were some black women who didn’t like the idea of interracial relationships. Even her own mother wasn’t too thrilled when she found out Jules was dating a white guy during high school. In retrospect, however, she realized her mother’s displeasure could have been based on the fact that said guy had several piercings at strategic points on his face.
Nonetheless, she knew that reverse racism was real within the black community. But she never guessed that Momma Clayton, a woman she had known for years, who sang louder than anyone else in the church choir, would harbor this kind of prejudice. It was almost too ridiculous to consider.
“Are you sure? About your mom?” Jules asked, not quite convinced.
“Trust me, I’m sure,” ‘Dre said knowingly. He sighed heavily and slumped back onto the bench in despair.
“I can’t even imagine my life without Tanya, Jules,” ‘Dre said honestly. “I don’t even want to think of her being with someone else or telling someone else her dreams and crazy ideas.”
He laughed. “Can you picture Tanya going camping in the middle of winter for anyone else?”
Jules laughed. She definitely couldn’t. Tanya’s idea of the great outdoors was her parents’ cottage in Niagara, which was fully furnished with hot water, cable television, and all the amenities of modern life. Even though Maxine and Jules had begged her, she had never gone camping with them. But last winter, when ‘Dre’s dad died and he needed to get away, she had made the five-hour drive with him several miles north of Toronto, to Lake Dore, in Eganville. And even though she had no electricity, no heat, and no running water, she had pitched her lopsided tent and stayed the whole weekend with ‘Dre, so he wouldn’t have to be out there alone.
“But just think about that, ‘Dre,” Jules said earnestly. “Where do you think you will ever find a girl willing to make sacrifices like that for you? Are you going to turn your back on that just because of your mother’s prejudice?”
‘Dre looked tormented as he thought about Jules’s words.
“You say you don’t want to lose her, but you keep pushing her away,” Jules said. “You keep pushing, and one day she’s going to be gone for good.”
“I wish I knew what to do,” ‘Dre said. “No matter which way I go, somebody gets hurt.”
Jules placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“No one said this thing was going to be easy. Nothing worth having ever is,” she said. “But look inside your heart. Where do you feel God is leading you on this one? If He’s saying to let her go, then let her go. But if not, you know what you should do.”
‘Dre sighed. “Yeah. I think I do.”
Jules watched contentedly as ‘Dre went off to find Tanya. If only she could just as easily find the logic in her own love life. She glanced around and made sure Germaine was nowhere nearby. She was serious about letting the Holy Spirit lead her, but she was making sure she wasn’t anywhere where she might feel tempted to take things into her own hands.
As she scanned the yard for any sign of Maxine, she noticed Easy step off the deck into the backyard. Jules grinned to herself. Trust Easy to show up near the end of the party when most of the food was gone and everything was almost over. She was about to go over and say hi, when she noticed him heading for a far corner of the yard. Jules leaned forward and squinted to get a better view. Her eyes widened when she saw who he was talking to.
What did he want with Germaine?
Even though Jules had told Easy that Germaine had never been involved with drugs, Easy had still kept his distance from Truuth’s cousin. So she was surprised to see them have what seemed like a civil conversation in ‘Dre’s backyard. Jules was even more surprised when she saw them shake hands.
Easy said something to Germaine, and he laughed in response. Soon the two of them were chatting like best buds. Jules felt more than a little annoyed.
So what, they’re friends now? Unbelievable.
Jules decided she had had enough. It was time to go home. Slipping into the house, she looked around for ‘Dre so she could say her good-byes. There were only a few people inside, but she thought she heard ‘Dre’s voice, and so she followed the sound into the kitchen.
“Momma, you know you wrong,” Angela, ‘Dre’s older sister, said, enraged. Her eyes were flashing angrily, as she stood glaring at her mother, who seemed equally upset. ‘Dre was standing on the other side of the kitchen island looking more upset than Jules had seen him in a long time.
Realizing that she had walked into a family conversation, Jules began to back out of the kitchen.
“I ain’t no kinda wrong. I told you I don’t want to see you messin’ with no white girls. I don’t care if she’s Lady Di reincarnated. Don’t bring no white trash up here in my house to me!”
Jules’s mouth fell open as Momma Clayton’s words stung her ears. She had not heard such blatant racism in a long time, and certainly never from anyone she knew and respected—or used to respect anyway.
Suddenly everything ‘Dre had said fell into perfect harmony for Jules. She understood completely why he was hesitating with Tanya. He never wanted her to have to deal with this kind of unkindness.
But it was too late. Because in the heat of the argument no one had noticed Tanya enter the kitchen from the back deck. She had been just in time to hear Momma Clayton’s scorching words.
“‘Dre.”
‘Dre noticed Jules for the first time, and followed her eyes across the kitchen to where Tanya was standing. A mixture of fear and horror framed his face when he realized that she had heard everything. But it paled in comparison to the look of brokenness reflected in Tanya’s features.
He rushed toward her, but she was already pushing through the door to the deck.
Jules glared at Momma Clayton, who, even after seeing Tanya’s despair, didn’t seem the least bit apologetic.
“Look what you did, Momma,” Angela said to her mother angrily. “How could you say something like that?”
Jules didn’t stick around for the answer. Exiting the kitchen, she looked around for either Tanya or ‘Dre.
“What’s wrong with Tanya?” Maxine asked, appearing out of nowhere. “She just rushed past me looking crazy upset.”
Jules quickly explained what had happened in the kitchen to Maxine. When she’d heard it all, Maxine seemed even more enraged than Jules.
“The nerve of that woman,” she muttered angrily.
“Did you see where Tanya went?” Jules asked worriedly.
“Yeah, she ran in there,” Maxine said, motioning toward the downstairs guest room where all the guests had been asked to leave their coats.
“Wait,” Jules said, grabbing Maxine’s arm to stop her from rushing into the room. “Did ‘Dre go in there with her?”
“Yeah.”
“Then we should probably let him handle this,” Jules said. “The two of them have a lot of things to work out.”
As Maxine and Jules stood in the middle of the hallway wondering what to do next, Easy appeared.
“Hey, baby girl,” he said, throwing one arm around her in a half embrace. “How come you didn’t come holla at me?”
“‘Cause you were busy with your new best friend,” Jules said. She grimaced as her own words stung her ears.
“Who, Germaine?” Easy
asked, puzzled.
“Yes,” Jules said grudgingly. “Who else?”
“Hey, you were the one who was on my back about him being good people,” Easy said, shrugging. “We were kicking it at Truuth’s place the other day, and it turns out he’s not too bad. You know he used to do some production for a label out in Vancouver?”
Jules rolled her eyes. “So what, now you’re his number-one fan?”
Easy chuckled. “He’s really got you turned out, don’t he, baby girl.”
Jules threw Easy a nasty look. He shook his head and grinned in reply.
As if on cue, Germaine came strolling up to them, casually taking a swig out of the soda in his hand. He was looking at Jules curiously. Jules wished he wouldn’t look at her at all.
“Okay, I’m gonna go,” she said suddenly, walking toward the coat room. It was getting a bit too crowded for her.
“I thought you were gonna give them time?” Maxine called after her.
“They’ve had enough time,” Jules threw back.
“Has she been like that all day?” Jules heard Easy ask Maxine.
“No, just since certain people got here,” Maxine replied. Without looking back she could tell that Maxine was glaring at Germaine. Jules wished they would all go away and leave her alone. But if they wouldn’t go away, at least she could.
As she cracked the door open, it occurred to her that maybe she should have knocked first. If she had, she might not have caught ‘Dre and Tanya kissing. They jumped apart as soon as the door opened.
“Maybe knock next time, Jules,” ‘Dre said, annoyed.
“Sorry, guys,” Jules said, grinning as she quickly grabbed her jacket off the chair. “As you were,” she said cheekily. She hurriedly exited the room, but not before she caught a glimpse of Tanya blushing furiously.
Without any other farewells, Jules slipped through the front door and headed toward her car. She was so busy digging through her bag for the keys that she didn’t notice Germaine leaning against the driver’s side, until she was less than three feet away from him. She stopped suddenly.
“So how long are we going to do this?” Germaine asked casually.