Tara was marginally happy about the decision, although still not thrilled about the new guy in the house. But so far that guy seemed to be okay. He appeared to be genuinely interested in their mother, and he had encouraged her to maintain healthy habits, so maybe it would all turn out well.
Thankfully, he hadn't seen any of them in a few days since he'd been on shift. But now, away from family drama, and the work day in a lull, his thoughts drifted back to Jessica, to their abrupt good-bye at the beach.
Actually, she'd never said good-bye. Brandon had. Jessica had just walked away. He understood her reasons for breaking things off. He knew she was trying to protect Brandon and herself; he'd just never been the guy who someone needed to protect against. And it bothered him that she hadn't really given him a chance to talk things out. He'd texted her a few times, left some voicemails, and eventually he'd gotten a text back that was short and to the point. She was done and she wished him well. Wished him well…What the hell kind of thing was that to say to him?
Letting out a sigh, he drew Bill's attention from the equipment they were supposed to be checking.
"Okay, what is wrong with you?" Bill asked. "I've never heard so many sighs from someone who wasn't my girlfriend and wanted me to ask her what was wrong."
"Just tired," he muttered.
"It's Jessica, isn't it? I messed things up for you when I told her about the Chicago job. It just slipped out. I didn't mean to blow up your relationship."
"She would have heard about it sooner or later, although later would have been better. You have a big mouth, Carlton."
"Sorry. What happened?"
"She ended things."
"Just like that?"
"She doesn't want Brandon to get more attached to me if I might leave."
"I hate to say it, but that makes sense."
"Does it make sense? I think it's ridiculous to not enjoy the time we could spend together because of some distant possibility that it might end. Anything could end."
"True. But is it really such a distant possibility?" Bill asked. "What are you going to do about the Chicago job? Do you still want it? Do you still want to move?"
He sighed again. "I don't know. I can't stay for Jessica, and she doesn't want me to stay for her. She wants me to do what I want to do, and I don't know what that is anymore."
"You could stay for yourself. It wouldn't make me sad to have you stick around. We've got a good crew here."
"I know that. I love this firehouse."
"You just want more. I get it. But maybe it's not a new job or a new city that you really want. Seems like Jessica might not be the only one afraid to take a risk."
"I have never been called too cautious," he retorted.
"When it comes to love, you haven't exactly jumped in."
"Because I've never been in love."
Bill smiled. "Are you sure about that?"
Before he could reply to that question, the fire bells went off.
Quickly putting the equipment away, they went into work mode, and soon they were on their way to a house fire.
The two-story home was engulfed with flames when they arrived a little after five p.m., the fire a wash of orange against a darkening sky. Their truck was the first on the scene. A neighbor came rushing toward them as they jumped off the truck.
"There's an elderly couple who lives there," a middle-aged woman said. "My husband tried to go in, but there was too much smoke."
Reid could see a man pacing around the perimeter of the house.
"We've got this," his captain told the woman. "McAllister, Carlton, check out the house."
As he and Bill ran into the house, the other firefighters set up to attack the fire.
"You take the first floor, I'll take the second," he told Bill, pulling down his face mask as he jogged up the stairs. The heat and smoke got thicker as he reached the second floor. Flames leapt out of the ceilings and walls. He wasn't sure where the fire had started, but it was in full force and judging by the color of the smoke, it was getting worse by the second. "Fire department, call out," he yelled, making his way down the hall. He checked the first room; it was empty. Then he heard a whimper.
He ran down the hall and into what was probably the master bedroom to find an elderly man sitting on the bed next to a woman who appeared to be unconscious. There were no flames yet, just thick, black smoke.
"I can't get her up," the man told him, coughing with each breath.
He checked on the woman, who had a pulse, but it was faint. "Can you walk?" he asked the man.
"Yes, but I'm not leaving her. When she goes out, I go out," the man said, getting to his feet. "We've been married for fifty years. If she doesn't make it, I don't want to live without her."
"I have one unconscious female, one male, second floor," he said into his headset. "Coming down now." He turned toward the man. "I'll carry her out. You go first."
The elderly man headed toward the door, but he'd barely gotten there when an explosion rocked the house, blowing out the windows and knocking the man off his feet.
Reid instinctively threw his body over the woman, just as half the ceiling came down on the back of his head and everything went dark.
* * *
Jessica grabbed her phone off the kitchen counter, stirring the simmering spaghetti sauce with one hand as she said, "Hello?"
"It's Kate, Jess. How's it going?"
"Good. What's up with you?"
"Just checking in. I'm sorry you missed the bachelorette party."
"Me, too, but I just couldn't make Vegas work," she said. "Did you have fun?"
"A lot. I'm sure you saw some of the photos. I have more I can send you, too."
"I'd like that."
"I still feel bad we couldn't get you there."
"Please do not worry about it." Besides not having a babysitter for a weekend trip, she'd been happy to sit out the bachelorette party in her current, somewhat depressive mood.
"All right. Well, my next question is about seating arrangements at the wedding. Are you bringing your handsome firefighter?"
"Oh. No. It will just be me and Brandon," she said, feeling another wave of sadness at the thought. It had been two weeks since she'd seen Reid, but it felt like two years. She'd told herself the pain would have been even worse if she'd let things go on, but she was having a hard time believing that now.
"Sorry to hear that. Is he busy or…"
"We're not seeing each other anymore."
"Really? But you seemed so happy with him at pizza night."
"He's a great guy, but our relationship has nowhere to go. We're just not in the same place, and I have a lot of baggage."
"I think you're worth the bags you bring with you."
"That's sweet of you to say."
"And it's true."
Kate's sympathy made her heart hurt a little more.
"How are things going with the wedding?" she asked. "Everything still running smoothly?"
"So far. But we have a month to go, so I don't want to jinx it."
"I'm sure it will be great. You do amazing weddings."
"I'm getting a lot of practice. I just want each woman to have something that's special just for her."
"I haven't heard any complaints."
"Thanks. I'll let you go. Let me know if you want to bring someone else to the wedding. See you soon."
"Bye, Kate." As she set down her phone, she stirred the sauce again, then turned on the television, so she wouldn't have to think about her depressingly single state and the man she'd turned her back on.
She flipped through the channels. There wasn't much to watch early on a Sunday night. She settled for the news, so she could check the weather forecast for tomorrow, but the reporter wasn't talking about rain; she was talking about fire.
Her heart sped up. She scanned the scene behind the newsperson for any sign of Reid, but all she could see were smoke and flames and people rushing around a neighborhood of homes.
As th
e camera zoomed in on the reporter, she finally heard what the woman was saying, and then her breath caught in her chest.
"A firefighter has been injured in the explosion," the reporter said. "Details of his condition will be forthcoming."
It wasn't Reid, she told herself. He might not be working or if he was working, he still might not be there. She couldn't tell where the neighborhood was. Maybe it wasn't in Reid's territory. On the other hand, Half Moon Bay wasn't that big, and there were several fire trucks in view.
She paced around the room, praying that it wasn't him, that he wasn't hurt. But she needed to do more than just walk around in circles. She needed to know who had been injured. But she couldn't rush across town to a fire scene. She was cooking dinner. She had a child to watch. And she wasn't even seeing Reid anymore.
She just had to wait, be patient, think positively.
As she heard Brandon heading toward the kitchen, she turned off the television, not wanting him to worry, too.
"Is dinner ready?" he asked, as he came into the room. "I'm starving."
"It will be in a few minutes," she replied, trying not to show the turmoil inside her.
"Can I watch TV?"
"No," she said harshly.
"But—"
"No," she repeated. "You can read a book or do some drawing until dinner is ready."
He frowned but went to get a book from the family room shelves. Then he settled on the couch and started reading to himself.
For the next hour, she tried to concentrate on cooking, then having dinner with Brandon, but mentally she was only ten percent there. The rest of her brain was on Reid.
This kind of worry was just another reason for her not to be involved with him, she thought. She didn't need extra stress. It was enough to worry about her child every minute of the day.
But even though the argument made sense, all she could think about was how abruptly she'd ended everything. He'd texted her several times, but she'd only answered once and that was to say she wished him well. What the hell had she been thinking? How could she have been so cold to him?
What if he wasn't okay? What if the last memory she had was of that awful, cold text?
She didn't want to think that he wasn't going to make it, but she couldn't help herself.
And she mentally kicked herself for wasting the last two weeks. What if she could have spent those days with Reid—had more time with him?
Why had she been so afraid?
This was what real fear was about.
She'd been scared of getting her heart broken when she should have been afraid of losing out on being with an incredible man.
Maybe he would have left her in the end, but at least she would have tried. When had she stopped trying?
Years ago.
She wanted to blame it all on Kevin, but she couldn't. It was her fault, too. Since her divorce, she'd been like a turtle, tucking her head into a hard shell and hiding away so no one could get to her, no one could cause her pain, but she'd missed out on some joy along the way.
"Mommy," Brandon said loudly.
"What?" she asked, realizing she hadn't heard a word he'd said.
"Can I watch TV now?"
"You can watch a movie," she said, getting up to help him find a movie on the family room television. She didn't want him to hear about the fire.
Once she had Brandon on the couch watching one of his favorite movies for the hundredth time, she grabbed her phone and went into the living room. She called Reid, but it went to voicemail.
"Hi, it's me," she said. "I saw the news about a fire. I just wanted to be sure you were okay. Let me know." As she was debating what to do next, her gaze fell on the paperwork she'd brought back from the community emergency response class weeks ago. She walked over and picked up the top sheet. Both Reid and Bill's mobile phone numbers were listed on the paper.
She punched in Bill's number. It rang three times, and she was about to hang up when a male voice came on the line.
"Hello?"
"Bill? This is Jessica."
"You must have seen the news," he said heavily.
Her heart sank. "Was Reid hurt? They didn't say a name."
"He was. I'm at Mercy Hospital."
Her breath caught in her throat. "Is he going to be all right?"
"I don't know yet, but it's Reid—he's tough."
She drew in a shaky breath. "What happened?"
"Ceiling came down on his head while he was rescuing the inhabitants of the house."
"Oh, my God. Was he burned?"
"We'll know more when the doctor comes out."
"Would you mind calling me and letting me know how he is?"
"I thought you two were done."
"I still care about him, Bill. I care a lot."
"Okay. I'll call you back," he said, not sounding overly excited about the promise. She wondered what Reid had told Bill about her. Bill probably didn't like the way she'd treated his friend, but right now that was the least of her worries.
She went back into the family room and sat down with Brandon. She'd made it through ten minutes of the movie when her phone rang.
She walked quickly out of the room to take the call from Bill. "How is he?"
"He's going to be fine, Jessica. He has a mild concussion and some bruised ribs, but nothing too serious. They'll keep him in the hospital tonight. He should be out tomorrow morning."
"That's great," she said with an immense feeling of relief. "Thank you so much for calling me. I've been so worried. I've been going crazy here."
"No problem. I told you he was tough."
Her eyes blurred with tears of relief. "You did."
"Hey, Jess?"
"Yes?"
"Tell Reid how you feel. Sometimes you don't get a second chance. My unsolicited advice."
"Thanks, Bill."
She hung up the phone and felt like doing a little dance around the living room; she was so happy to know Reid would be all right. She took a couple of deep breaths, then went back into the family room. She tried to concentrate on the movie again, but she still felt restless.
Was anyone with Reid? Had Bill called Tara? Was his mom back in town?
She had a lot of questions and no answers. She couldn’t just sit here and do nothing.
After several more minutes of internal debate, she called Hayley to see if she could babysit. Then she told Brandon she would be back in an hour and made her way to the hospital.
Seventeen
As Reid shifted in bed, he winced at the pain shooting across his head.
"You need something for that?" Bill asked, giving him a concerned look.
"I already had something," he replied. "I'm fine."
"Good thing you have such a hard head."
"Yeah," he said, trying to get into a more comfortable position, but everything hurt. "How's the elderly couple? They made it out, right?" He vaguely remembered someone telling him that in the ER, but he wanted to be sure.
"Yes, they're being treated, but word is they will both recover."
"Good." He was relieved to know that they'd gotten out safely. The older man's devotion to his wife had been something to see. "You should go back to the house. Shift isn't over yet."
"I know. I'm going now. Hopefully the rest of the night will be uneventful." Bill walked to the door, then paused. "I spoke to Tara and told her you were all right. She said she'd pass that on to your mom. And I don't know if you want to hear this, but Jessica called."
His pulse leapt. "She heard about the fire?"
"She saw it on the news and called me. She was really worried about you. I thought you might want to know."
"Thanks."
"I'll see you tomorrow."
As Bill left, his thoughts turned to Jessica. She'd called about him, concerned for his well-being. He supposed that was something, but on the other hand, the fact that he'd been injured while fighting a fire and doing his job had probably given her another reason to stay away from him. No
t that she'd needed one. She already had a very long list of reasons.
Closing his eyes, he let out a weary sigh, thinking about the old man who'd refused to leave his wife, even though he could have perished along with her. He'd said they'd been married fifty years. That was amazing. They'd spent so much of life together; they were true partners. He hadn't seen an example of that kind of love in his family. He hadn't even really believed it existed. But now he couldn't seem to stop thinking about it—and about Jessica.
He heard the creak of the door and opened his eyes, a little shocked that the image from his head had just materialized in real life. He blinked, wondering if he'd conjured her up somehow, but as Jessica walked over to the bed, she looked very real. Her dark-brown hair was caught up in a ponytail, her brown eyes were filled with worry, and there were shadows under her eyes, made more pronounced by the paleness of her skin. Were those shadows just from tonight or from the last two weeks?
"Hi, Reid," she said softly. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay."
"You don't look okay."
"A bump on the head—no big deal. I've been hit worse by my surfboard."
"I heard something about a roof falling on top of you, so I doubt that."
"Bill always exaggerates." He drew in a breath. "It was nice of you to come down here."
"I couldn't seem to stop myself."
"Sounds like you tried."
She met his gaze. "I wasn't sure you'd want to see me."
"I always want to see you," he said.
She licked her lips. "I don't know why you would after the way I ended things."
"You were scared—and not just for Brandon."
"You're right. It was as much about me as it was about him. I wanted to protect both of us."
"I understand that you have a long list of reasons for why you and I don't work: dangerous job, reckless hobbies, lack of commitment, might move away, could break your heart, could break Brandon's heart—have I left anything out?"
"That pretty much sums it up."
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