Book of Failures
Page 15
{35} Name changed.
{36} Dirty in a disheveled way, not in a sexy or seductive way.
{37} “Very skinny American, not Catholic!”
{38} It could have been a bubble bath rash; regardless, it was over.
{39} Watch Lise’s videos on Facebook and follow her blog Mom Loves Baking.
{40} Granulated sugar is probably the sugar you have in your pantry, like Domino brand. It will say granulated sugar on the packaging.
{41} To fold means gently combine a delicate mixture into a heavier mixture.
{42} If you’re like me and have difficulty chilling both figuratively and literally, snack on the raw cookie dough during the refrigeration process. (Warning: eating raw eggs can cause salmonella poisoning.)
{43} I don’t own any baking accessories so I let my cookies cool in the baking sheet, on a towel, on the counter.
{44} These “selfies” were taken with cameras that required film and several days to process.
{45} www.universityorthopedics.com
{46} Shannon did not sue Chipotle; she’s too nice.
{47} Benefits at Super Big and Cheap staffing firm were total dog s***.
{48} Why are grapes in the Bible? Grapes are referenced in the story of Moses asking a group of men to act like spies to check out the area of Canaan. The spies found everything to be giant. When they came to the valley of Eshcol, they cut down a branch with a single cluster of grapes so large that it took two of them to carry it on a pole between them! Numbers 13:23. The spies betrayed God by lying about the area, so he made them wonder around the wilderness for forty years. See BIBLE.
{49} www.//blogs.transparent.com/english/personal-space-an-american- perspective
{50} The passengers she collided into suffered broken bones but thankfully survived.
{51} Cristy’s father picked grandpa up exactly where she said he would be, outside Walmart, wearing a striped shirt.
{52} Some days we drink more than others.
{53} I thought my hair was so fabulous in college that I applied to be a model and paid over $500 for headshots. Return on investment: zero.
{54} I don’t speak any Spanish whatsoever and communicated everything via wild hand gestures.
{55} Not her real name.
{56} Doctor B has recently retired.
{57} www.Ranking of College bands
{58} www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTca2nrIn4U OSU band moon walk video
{59} To my knowledge, the physician isn’t an actual child molester.
{60} Not her real name.
{61} Swanky white wine.
{62} Names changed.
{63} I work for a non-profit so $475.00 is a lot of money, to me.
{64} Elizabeth Banks, Reese Witherspoon, Ben Falcone, Judd Apatow and Paul Rudd.
{65} Later, I found out I was on the wrong floor.
{66} All my conditions are self-diagnosed from WebMD and Television commercials.
{67} The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
{68} Please send me your sex excuses, they may make the sequel. www.amylyle.me
{69} Oscar Wilde
{70} Taken from the 1965 Montgomery, Alabama, speech
{71} Clinical depression is a major depressive disorder and should be treated by a medical professional.
{72} Name changed.
{73} Peter insists his father is a collector.
{74} Name changed.
{75} I’m an over sharer.
{76} Galatians 6:2-12, Thessalonians 5:11