My Last First Kiss

by Weston Parker

  “What?” I said. “What is it?”

  “Look,” she said, pointing at the animal. “That elk has the same chipped antler as the one you found on your ranch, the one that I helped. Oh my god, it’s the same elk. I’m not seeing things. How can that even be possible? Someone would have had to have seen me and then tracked the animal down. And this elk was only recently killed. What in the hell is going on?”

  “I’m sure that’s not true,” I said, rubbing her shoulder. “You’re upset, and I can see why, but how they could even do something like that?”

  “I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. “But that’s the same elk.”

  I shook my head and frowned, looking back at the animal. I stopped and took a step forward, looking at the chipped antler and thinking about the elk at the ranch that day. My mouth fell slightly open, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was right. It was the same exact elk as before. Some of the iodine she had put on its hoof still stained its fur. I swallowed hard and reached over, pulling her away and walking her up to her house. She opened the door and walked inside, leaving it open for me.

  “You go ahead,” I said. “I’m going to get this animal taken care of for you, okay?”

  “All right,” she said shaken. “I’ll make some tea.”

  When she disappeared around the corner, I called up the same guy who had taken care of the fawn for me. He was surprised to hear from me, but I explained the situation, and he agreed to come and take away the carcass without disturbing the residents. I thanked him profusely and made a mental note to give him a bonus on his next check. I put the phone back in my pocket and walked into the kitchen as she was finishing up the tea. She handed me a cup, and I followed her over to the kitchen table and sat down across from her. I didn’t say a word, just sat there staring off into space. My mind was running a million miles a minute trying to make sense of what had happened. Not only was that the same animal from the ranch, but it was obvious a person had killed that animal. This was so far off from anything a predator could have done.

  There was also no way the elk could have been cut and then magically landed at that specific house in that specific spot in the middle of the night. The ranch was miles away from her, and her house was nestled in the middle of rows of other houses. It would have been an act of God for that kind of coincidence to occur, and I knew that wasn’t possible. No, this was deliberate like the other ones. Someone out there was trying to scare Sara, and they were doing a damn good job of it. They had managed to purposely find the exact animal she had helped at my ranch. It was one she would find a personal connection to. Then, the person brought it to her house and cut open its belly. I was sure it was dead when it arrived, but they had waited to spill its guts since there were no drag marks or footprints.

  I brought myself back to the table and looked over at Sara who was staring down at her tea. She looked a bit more relaxed and less in shock than before. It was obvious she was putting as much thought into it as me.

  “It’s the third animal,” she whispered. “And the most obviously slaughtered one. Someone is sending me a message.”

  They sure were, and I had a feeling I knew exactly who it was.

  Chapter 27

  Sara

  I was sitting there holding my tea mug tightly in my hands, shaking wildly. My emotions were all over the place, and I couldn’t get a clear picture in my head of what was happening. Seeing Ryan again, being given my fondest wish in the form of a mobile vet clinic, that was all positive, but what happened next had sent me for a loop. Seeing that poor murdered animal and knowing someone put it there, it was all too much, not to mention the fact that whoever did it was still walking around out there. I knew exactly who it was too. There was no longer any doubt in my mind. It was fucking Janson and that damn sidekick of his. It was an impossible situation, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Things were escalating, and I had no idea how to control any of it.

  Janson had always been a terrible boyfriend, but it had taken me a while to see it. He had constantly put me down, telling me how much worse I was than other women, intimidating me, scaring me, and just not being there like a boyfriend should. If he hated me so much, then why wouldn’t he just let me go? I jumped slightly as Ryan pushed back his chair and stood up, taking his mug to the sink and rinsing it out. When he walked back around the island, he put his hand to his face and began to pace back and forth across the kitchen floor. He lowered his hand down to his side and balled up his fists, his jaw tight. I could tell he was agitated, that he couldn’t deal with the thought of these things happening. He looked like he had something to say, something he knew I might not want to hear. At that point, though, there was no reason to pussyfoot around things. He needed to say whatever was on his mind and get it over with.

  Finally, after several minutes of back and forth, he turned to me and walked over, putting his hands on my shoulders and turning my chair toward him. His hands were warm, and I secretly relished the contact we were having. I really missed being touched by him, held by him, and protected by him. I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, or maybe shouldn’t wasn’t the right term, more like couldn’t feel that way. I needed to keep my resolve, stay strong in the fact that no matter how sweet he was being or how nice I thought he was, he was a liar and a manipulator.

  “What?” I said looking up at him, waiting for him to say something.

  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but it has got to be that asshole Janson,” he said.

  I closed my eyes and tilted my head down toward my lap. I knew he was right, and I knew that he had known that all along, but it stung to hear him say it. I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed, depressed, scared, or all of the above, so I stayed silent for a moment. Janson had been causing chaos in my life for so long, and then he’d started in on Ryan. No matter how mad I was at him, I still felt bad for that fact. He didn’t deserve to take on a situation that had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my apparent terrible taste in men and my poor judgment of character. I knew Janson was nuts, but I didn’t realize he would stoop to the stalking level like he had done.

  “What if we circumnavigate the system,” he said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Go over Janson’s head,” he replied. “Go straight to the state police and make a report, maybe even get a restraining order or something.”

  I shook my head.

  “That won’t work,” I said. “Janson is buddies with most of the state cops around here, and the ones he isn’t friends with know not to mess with him. Besides, the state ones bring power behind them, and that’s the last thing I want to do, give him more power than he already has. The sad truth is, he set himself up really good to do pretty much whatever the hell he wants. He’s the most powerful man in the city. It isn’t the elders or the mayor in charge. It’s him with that shiny yellow badge and that pistol on his hip. From the looks of it, he’s taking that power to a whole new level, and he knows no one will do anything about it. I’ve dealt with this since he became sheriff, and it’ll continue to go on like that probably until he gets shot or retires.”

  “That’s an option,” he growled.

  “I hope you mean retire,” I said.

  “There has to be someone out there who can help in this situation,” he said. “There’s no way that the man has that much control. What about the FBI?”

  I looked at him and rolled my eyes, shaking my head and looking away. I didn’t know whether to laugh at him or scoff. From the look in his eyes, he was dead serious about what he was saying.

  “Really?” I said. “You actually think the FBI really cares about a dead elk in my driveway? Sure, I expect them to drop their investigations into homegrown terrorism and the war on drugs and bounce on over here to take care of a Podunk sheriff on a power trip.”

  I laughed and stood up, walking over to the stove to start the water again and make another cup of tea. I filled the teapot back up and held up his mug, of
fering him another cup. He shook his head, lost in his thoughts. I had to admit, his persistence and thought process on how to fix this was actually kind of endearing and adorable. He was hell-bent on stopping the crazy sheriff from taking over the town like he was in some old western movie. Except this was real life, and there really was a dead elk with its guts spilled down my driveway outside right now.

  “There really isn’t a point in discussing this,” I said. “You’re just going to keep going in circles, racking your brain and coming up empty-handed every single time. I’ve been there and done that with this man. He has the power, the control, and he has it sewn up really tight. It’s quite obvious, and I know I don’t need to tell you, but I’m going to say it anyway, Janson is an asshole.”

  “Yes, he fucking is,” Ryan growled, making me smirk.

  “But,” I said, turning toward him. “He is the head asshole in charge, which makes this whole thing a hell of a lot more complicated than some normal stalker or crazy person.”

  “I know that, but at the same time, you cannot be expected to live with the harassment like that,” he said. “There has to be some way to get to him, some way around his control, and someone who can help us stop him from being a complete menace to society. If he’s doing it to you, what makes you think he won’t do it to someone else you care about?”

  I reached for the teapot and poured water over my new tea bag, listening to him go on and on about it. As the tea seeped out of the bag and whirled around the glass, I started to feel an anxiety bubbling up inside of me. I knew everything he was telling me, but that didn’t mean I was holding back some secret answer from him. I was as lost on the subject as he was.

  “I don’t know what you expect me to do,” I said. “Please, tell me what I should be doing.”

  I turned back to the glass and poured my sugar in, stirring it slowly. I was starting to get really frustrated with how hard he was pushing me on this. I got it. I was in a bad situation, but going over and over it wasn’t going to help. I had accepted all of this long before Ryan came to town. Janson was going to do whatever Janson wanted to do, and there was no changing that fact, bullying him into submission, or changing his mind about it. I hated to say it, but the entire situation was completely hopeless, and I didn’t understand why he didn’t see that. I turned around and leaned against the counter, taking a sip of my tea. He got up from the counter and walked over to me, grabbing me by the shoulders. I sighed and looked him in the eyes.

  “I don’t know how you can be so flippant about this,” he said. “You have to do something about this. It can’t keep going on and on like this.”

  That was when it happened. I finally lost my temper. I had held back all evening, even thinking that maybe I wasn’t as mad at him as I’d thought, but once I felt it, I realized that I was wrong. I set my tea on the counter and pushed his hands off my shoulders.

  “You’re being an idiot,” I said angrily. “Don’t you get it? The only reason Janson is all riled up in the first place is that you came around. You pushed his buttons, challenged his authority, and started seeing his property even if we weren’t together anymore. But you’re about to leave, which means Janson will probably get tired of it and find something else to occupy his time. If you want to be helpful, if you really want to stop Janson from stalking me and harassing me, then you know what you have to do.”

  “What’s that?” he said, leaning back.

  “You need to just leave Bonanza.”

  Chapter 28

  Ryan

  I stumbled back a bit and leaned against the island in the kitchen. Sara’s words were like a hard blow to the chest, and I could feel the ache in my heart by just hearing them. She wanted him gone, not to help solve the problem but to leave town. I didn’t get her the van to make her want me back, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought it would help the situation. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Even after the gift, she was not interested in me sticking around town at all. She didn’t see a future with me, or at least she was still so angry, she wouldn’t even consider it. I couldn’t believe it was how she wanted it to really be. I knew I couldn’t stay in Bonanza forever. I had a company and a life back in New York City. It was where I was born and raised and probably where I would die one day. Still, it would have been nice if she had at least thought about it, maybe even asked me to stay there for her, but instead, she was blaming the whole thing on me and telling me I needed to leave.

  I wanted to give her what she wanted. I wanted her to be safe, but looking down into her eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to end it like that. Me leaving was not a solution to the problem. It was only giving Janson exactly what he wanted, and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice all the emotion and all the connection I had with Sara because he wanted to be a crazy son of a bitch.

  “You’re important to me,” I said, calming my tone. “Whether you want to believe me or not, it’s the truth. You’ve become one of the most important people in my life. I care about you deeply, and I want to protect you from everything bad in the world. If you think I can just get up and walk away hoping it will work, you’re crazy. I can’t leave here thinking I’m leaving you in danger. You may think you know this guy, that you know what he’s capable of, but you were just as shocked to see that elk as I was, maybe even more than me, because I’m looking at this situation from the outside. The choice you’re giving me isn’t a choice at all. There’s no way I can walk away and not know what kind of situation I’m leaving you in.”

  I looked around the room for a minute, thinking about what to say next. I knew I was taking a chance on this, and I knew she was really adamant about her life there in Bonanza, but something was going to have to give. If we couldn’t go to anyone for help, then we would have to come up with another way. Then, it occurred to me that maybe the answer was him leaving, but maybe it wasn’t him leaving alone.

  “I am going to give you a real choice,” I said. “Something that’s actually an option for this situation.”

  “Okay,” she sighed with irritation. “What’s your choice, then?”

  “Come back to New York City with me,” I said. “Stay with me, just long enough for Janson to move on to someone or something else. I know you don’t see yourself in the city, but it isn’t forever. You don’t want to wake up and find yourself the next person on the list to be dropped in your own driveway.”

  “He wouldn’t hurt me like that,” she said, shaking her head. “I have a business to run here in Bonanza.”

  “I know,” I said. “But everyone’s entitled to a vacation, especially you. You work harder than anyone I’ve ever met, and you never slow down. When’s the last time you actually took a vacation?”

  “The bed and breakfast,” she said.

  “That was one extra day off,” I said. “I mean a real vacation.”

  “Never,” she said, staring at me. “I have never taken a real vacation.”

  “See? It would be perfect. You can stay in my penthouse, in the spare bedroom if you want, see the sights, relax, and enjoy yourself,” I said. “When things have settled down, and Janson has turned his attention elsewhere, you can come right back. Your business will be right here waiting for you.”

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  “Sara,” I said, walking forward and wrapping my hands around her arms. “It’s a really good option.”

  I could tell by the look on her face that the offer confused her, that she didn’t know what she wanted when it came to me or the situation. She pulled back from me, and I let go that time, following her over to the kitchen table and sitting down beside her. She was staring off into the distance, a pained look on her face.

  “I can’t believe this is your solution,” she said. “That you want me to go back to New York City with you. You do remember that I broke up with you, right? That I told you we couldn’t be together, that you needed to forget about me, that you needed to go home and take care of your life and stop worrying so much about mine.”
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  “That’s impossible for me to do,” I said quietly.

  “You lied to me and not just about something small,” she said. “How am I supposed to trust you with anything? I can’t. That’s the thing. I have no idea what other crazy secrets you’re hiding, and you expect me to leave my home, go all the way across the country with you, and hope for the best? I don’t know where I stand a better chance, there or with crazy Janson.”

  I took a deep breath, feeling the daggers slicing into my heart. Her words were sharp and painful, and even more so because they were true. I had lied to her, I had kept secrets from her, and I had not been honest about the man I used to be. I’d spent so much time trying to defend myself that I didn’t see that fact until right then and there. I couldn’t argue with her on those facts anymore. All I could do was try to move forward and show her I wasn’t the bad guy she thought I was and that the man in those papers didn’t exist anymore.

  “I understand what you’re saying,” I said, hating what I was going to say next. “I want you to be safe, and even though you don’t believe it, I care deeply for you. To prove that to you, I want you to come back with me as my guest only, like someone I’m putting up at the house for a little while, and I promise not to lay a hand on you.”

  She scoffed, chuckling to herself and shaking her head. She didn’t believe me, and I knew it was going to happen that way. She based everything on actions, not words, but we were running out of time, and I didn’t have the opportunity to show her I was serious. Slowly, she stopped shaking her head and looked down at her hands. I could tell she was actually thinking about my proposal and not completely shutting me out. I had to count that as at least a small victory in the grand scheme of things. She hadn’t softened up at all up to that point, and I didn’t want to continue to push her any further. I sat back in the chair and looked around the kitchen.

  “You know what?” I said. “You never got to eat the dinner I made the other night.”